How to Defeat Harmful Habits (Counseling Through the Bible Series) (13 page)

Q
UESTION
:
“When I became a Christian, shouldn’t that have changed my addictions and my tendency to sin?”

A
NSWER
:
When you put your trust in Christ, you did indeed receive a new life! God’s Spirit lives within you and enables you to overcome sin. While you have been saved from the penalty of sin (eternal separation from God) and while the power of sin over you has been broken, you must
still choose
to not sin when you are tempted. You must choose daily to put off your
old self
with all its bad habits and inclinations and not be controlled by it. Instead, you must put on your
new self
and be controlled by it—your new self, which was created to be like Christ.

“You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness”

(E
PHESIANS
4:22-24).

Before releasing her from the hospital, Bethany Hamilton’s doctor summarized her prognosis this way: “The list of what Bethany will have to do
differently
is long; the list of what she will be
unable
to do is short.”
⁵⁶

Prior to the attack, her training routine was simple: Surf…and watch videos of herself surfing so she could improve her technique. Those habits would hardly suffice now, for she had to train to compete against elite athletes possessing endurance, strong core muscles, tremendous upper-body strength, and…two arms.
⁵⁷

To compensate, Bethany added workouts to her regime of grueling physical therapy that were nearly twice as hard as before. Because her spine began curving toward her stronger right side, she incorporated spinal realignment exercises into her routine. Instead of swimming (it’s too hard on her arm), she runs, does push-ups (one-armed!), hikes, lifts weights, and, of course, surfs—between two to eight hours a day when the waves allow.

When Bethany found it too hard to duck underwater while paddling out to catch a wave, she formed a new habit—riding a custom-made board with a handle she could hold on to. She also learned to use her legs more efficiently to help compensate for her slower paddling.

“She’s working at a huge deficit with only one arm,” Bethany’s trainer said. “Yet the things she is able to do…like competing in paddle battles, out-maneuvering two-armed surfers for waves, or getting whipped around in 25-foot surf…it’s just amazing. She copes incredibly well with her disadvantage and makes it seem like it doesn’t exist.”
⁵⁸

Breaking free of an old habit is not a quick or easy task. Just as it takes time to develop a habit, it takes even more time to break it and establish a new habit. If it is true that we are creatures of habit, as the familiar saying goes, then we are establishing new or practicing old habits on a continuous basis—and sadly do so, often on a subconscious level. No wonder the psalmist beseeched God to examine him—something we all need God to do on a daily basis so we do not unwittingly develop dangerous addictions.

“Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts
.

See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting”

(P
SALM
139:23-24).

As you seek to replace the old way with the new way, remember to…

•
Will to do God’s will.

– Commit your will to God.

– Regularly remind yourself of your heart’s desire to do God’s will.

“I desire to do your will, O my God; your law is within my heart”

(P
SALM
40:8).

•
Ask God for wisdom
to know and accomplish His will.

– Discern God’s priorities and plans for breaking the bad habits in your life.

– Seek God’s will regarding the best strategy for breaking each identified habit.

“If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him”

(J
AMES
1:5).

•
Accept by faith
that God has already given you the wisdom you need.

– Reject any thoughts that you may not be able to break your habit.

– Believe that God is guiding and enabling you to succeed.

“This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us”

(1 J
OHN
5:14).

•
Lay out in writing
the strategy God has placed on your heart.

– Write down the first particular habit you plan to change and make a list of the reasons you want to change it.

– Detail the steps you will take and the various strategies you will employ.

“I know that you can do all things; no plan of yours can be thwarted”

(J
OB
42:2).

•
Identity the wrong beliefs
supporting your habit.

– Recall the time, circumstances, and your internal dialogue surrounding the starting of this habit.

– Replace each wrong belief with a biblically accurate belief.

“A simple man believes anything, but a prudent man gives thought to his steps”

(P
ROVERBS
14:15).

•
Plan ways to remove possible reinforcements
of your bad habit.

– Make a list of the physical, emotional, and mental rewards reinforcing your habit.

– Negate rewards for the bad behavior by replacing them with negative repercussions. Institute rewards for engaging in a desired behavior.

“The faithless will be fully repaid for their ways, and the good man rewarded for his”

(P
ROVERBS
14:14).

•
Share your plan
with an accountability partner.

– Enlist a mature Christian to help strengthen and support you in your efforts and to correct you when you get off course.

– Commit to being completely honest and forthright about your successes and failures.

“Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed”

(P
ROVERBS
15:22).

•
Resolve to stay the course.

– Have no expectation that your fleshly desires will die or will accept defeat quietly, quickly, or easily.

– Put on the full armor of God on a daily basis as you wage war against the world, the flesh, and the devil.

“Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes”

(E
PHESIANS
6:11).

Despite her strong faith, determination, and courage, the possibility of another shark attack is not lost on Bethany Hamilton. She answers the inevitable question, “What about sharks?”

To constantly dwell on what might happen would totally suck the joy out of the sport. Besides, it’s like asking, “What if the roller coaster comes off the track?” (It has happened.) What if the horse throws you?…Life is full of what-ifs. You can’t let it hold you back. If you do, you’re not really living at all…just kind of going through the motions with no meaning.
⁵⁹

Rather than dwelling on all the reasons she shouldn’t don a swimsuit, shouldn’t get back in the water, shouldn’t surf, Bethany has focused on her purpose, priorities, and plans—with great reward. In January 2004, just over a year after the attack, Bethany won the first national title of her career. In 2008, she began competing full-time, placing third in a contest against many of the world’s best female surfers.

The key was learning what to focus on and what not to.

Have you ever said to yourself,
I’m not going to eat that chocolate pie
…and then all you can think about is chocolate pie? In the battle with temptation, you will shoot the arrow through your own foot if your thoughts are aimed downward. Understand that you hit what you aim at! Don’t dwell on the negative. Rather, focus on the positive. Realize that training and disciplining the mind to think victoriously and to reject even the possibility of failure is critical to winning in both the Olympics and in developing godly character. Set your thoughts high on God’s character-building truths, then with Christ’s strength, you can hit the target every time.
⁶⁰

“
Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things
”

(P
HILIPPIANS
4:8).

Missing the Target

Check out your thoughts and self-talk to see if they are causing you to miss the target:

“I must quit smoking!”

“I’ll never pick up a cigarette again.”

“Christians look down on smokers.”