Homecoming (54 page)

“Yeah. Right. You too. Hey, someone told me you’re dating one of the Davis girls. Is that true?”

“Uh-huh. Lizzie. The youngest.”

“The youngest?” He must have had a memory of her from years ago, given how filled with surprise his voice was.

“Yeah. She’s thirty, Dad.”

He laughed. “I guess she is. Time flies, doesn’t it? Well, I hope you’re happy together. Have you always been…?”

“Always,” she said, cutting off the question.

“Wow. Didn’t know that. Well, whatever makes you happy.”

“Thanks. Gotta go,” she said, then added, “Happy Thanksgiving,” before hanging up.

Jill tried to compose herself before going back inside. Luckily, her mom didn’t read physical cues very well, so she wouldn’t notice Jill was shaky and shell-shocked. Lizzie would, but she’d keep her questions until they were alone. Working in development had given her a great education in how to hold your tongue until the time was right.

***

At ten to seven, Jill’s mom stood and carried the bag of cookies and mugs into the kitchen. “You two are probably hungry,” she said over her shoulder as she put the mugs into the dishwasher. “Are you going to Janet’s for dinner?”

“Uhm…yes?” Lizzie said, looking at Jill.

“Yeah. We’d better take off,” Jill agreed. When her mother came back into the room she eyed the television, with Jill realizing her favorite show was about to begin. Every night at seven, from the time she could recall, the familiar theme song would begin, and all chatter had better stop.

A commercial was playing, giving them a spare minute or two to wrap things up.

“Do you have my new address?”

“No,” Jill said. “You haven’t given it to me.”

Sharp eyes darted to the TV. “I’ll send it.” She put her hand on Jill’s back and prodded her along. Then Jill dashed into the den, grabbed their coats and helped Lizzie put hers on.

The door opened, then Lizzie stuck her hand out. “It was nice to meet you again,” she said.

“Me too.” Jill received a brief hug, then a hand on her shoulder gave her a gentle push. “Goodbye.”

As they hurried to button their coats against the bitter wind, the door closed behind them. Jill stared at the door, stunned, as the porch-light went out. “That might be the last time I see her,” she said, her heart pounding in her chest as a wave of anxiety pulsed through her. “That’s…how can she…?”

Then Lizzie’s arms were around her, squeezing so tightly it hurt. “I wish she could give you more. I want so many things for you, but that’s the biggest one. I’d give anything for you to know what it’s like to be certain your mother was crazy about you.”

It was nice. Really nice to have someone you cared for want you to experience that deep, primal kind of love. It wasn’t close to actually having it, though. Jill was sure of that.

They walked to the car quickly, trying to get in before the wind pushed them down the driveway. Jill sat perfectly still for a minute, trying to get centered enough to drive.

“It’s really warm in Scottsdale in the winter,” Lizzie said quietly.

“I know. That’s why she’s leaving.”

“I bet her townhouse complex has a pool.”

“She doesn’t like the water.”

“You do.” Lizzie reached over and took Jill’s hand, then tugged firmly, until she was holding her. “If you want this to be the last time you see each other, I’d understand. If you don’t… I’d happily take a trip to Scottsdale with you.
Happily
,” she emphasized.

Jill nodded, unable to even consider going to visit at this point. Lizzie’s offer was just about the most generous gift she’d ever received. No one in her right mind would happily visit someone so shut off, so emotionally unavailable, so unable to connect on almost any level. But Lizzie loved her enough to make the offer sound absolutely sincere, and that was a huge gift. Truly huge.

***

After dinner, a sad tuna casserole, followed by a fantastic lemon cake, as light and tart as you could ever want, Janet and Lizzie sat at the dining room table, watching Jill reveal the treasures she’d taken.

When everything was laid out, Janet shuffled through the papers to pull out the oldest photos and look at them carefully. “You really don’t know anything about your mom’s family?” she asked gently.

“Nothing. I know my grandmother was dead by the time I was born, but that’s it.”

“Interesting.” Janet quickly pushed the photos back across the table, like she didn’t want them near her.

Jill watched her carefully, noting how Janet moved onto more recent things in the pile without further comment.

“Do
you
know much about my family?”

A strained look flashed across her face. “A little,” she admitted. “But nothing concrete. Just things I heard at church. Gossip, really.”

“Want to tell me what you know?”

She finally met Jill’s gaze. “It’s not a happy tale. Your mother obviously didn’t want to talk about it, so maybe it’s better to let it—”

“I want to know. Really.”

Sighing, Janet reached over and went to the last photo in the album, the one where the girl in the family was about ten, with four younger boys all lined up behind her. “This must be your grandmother, since she was the only girl. They lived out in the country, outside of Rockingham. I think they raised dairy cows.”

“They were farmers? Really?”

“I’m pretty sure that’s true. Anyway, the mother died, probably around the time this photo was taken.” She sifted through the pile, finding no others. “This is the last one, so that makes sense. When a man raises five kids alone, he doesn’t take them into town to have their pictures taken.”

“Sad,” Jill said, looking at the girl, clad in a dark sailor-style dress with a big white collar, a neckerchief, and a low belt. “I guess my grandmother had to take her mother’s place?”

“I suppose so. I only heard this later. After people started to talk…”

“About?” Jill led.

“This is the bad part. Your grandmother ran off when your mom was a baby.”

“Ran off?” Jill’s heart started to beat faster. Critical information was coming in, fast and hard, and she stiffened, waiting for it. “What does that mean?”

“I’m not sure if she left with a man, or if she just couldn’t handle being a mother. But she left. As far as I know, no one ever heard from her again.” She stopped and looked away. “Although there were rumors for years. Some people thought your grandfather…”

“Killed her?” Jill’s eyebrows shot up as Lizzie turned and met her startled gaze. “Holy fuck,” she muttered.

Janet waved her hand dismissively. “I think that was just idle conjecture. Your grandfather wasn’t thought of as the best husband, and people wanted an answer. This was the fifties, and it wasn’t common for women to abandon their children.”

“I hope it’s not common now!” Jill said, finding herself a little breathless.

“I knew I shouldn’t have talked about this.” She reached out and covered Jill’s chilled hand with her own. “Now you’re upset.”

“I’m upset because this is all news,” she said. “I should have known these things. My mother said my grandmother was dead, but she could be on a beach in Rio!” She looked again at her mother’s wedding invitation. No parents were mentioned. “Did my grandfather remarry?”

“I don’t think so. He had a lot of women friends, though. Not that that should be a surprise. He had a good job, at a time most people were really struggling to get by. Before the Foundation started buying up property, our population was shrinking every year. Things were grim.”

“What did he do?”

“He sold insurance. I think he was just about the only insurance salesman in the county at the time. Smart businessman too. Invested in land and made a nice profit when he sold a lot of it to the Foundation.”

“And he died…when?”

“I’m not sure. I think your mom was at least in high school. She’s almost ten years younger than I am, so we weren’t friends.”

“Yeah,” Lizzie said, soberly. “Who’d want to hang out with someone ten years older? Yuck!”

Janet reached over, grabbed a hank of her hair and pulled it, making her yelp and slap at her hand.

“Stop!” she cried, giggling fiercely.

“You’re such a smartass, Elizabeth Anne!” She rolled her eyes at Jill. “I’m not sure how you stand her.”

Jill put her hand out and instead of taking it, Lizzie got up and sat on her lap.

“I’ve got the patience of a saint,” Jill said. She was a little uncomfortable having Lizzie display their usual intimacy, but Janet seemed fine with it, so she tried to act naturally.

“When your grandfather died, he owned a lot of property. They say he invested in the stock market too, and if he did, he was unique for this area. I think your mom and your aunt each got half of a pretty substantial sum.”

“Do you have any idea what he died of?”

“He ran into something one night,” she said, her brow furrowed in thought. “A deer or a moose. They say he had a very hefty insurance policy too.”

Jill studied the photos, noting that there wasn’t a single one of her grandmother as an adult. Nor of the man she married, her mother’s father. “You know an awful lot about them, given that they lived a half hour from here.”

“We were from the same parish,” Janet said, shrugging. “And in a small parish all people do is talk about each other. It’s not much different now.”

“I guess my mom paid for her house with her inheritance,” Jill said. “Up until now, she’s had some undeveloped land, but she might have sold that. I guess I’ll see when I do her taxes.” She rested her chin on Lizzie’s shoulder, thinking, then looked at Janet again. “Is it true your sister dated my dad?”

“She did. I thought they might get married, but he met up with your mom and they married not too long after she graduated from high school.”

“I bet he thought he’d hit the lotto,” Jill grumbled.

“That’s what people said,” Janet agreed. “That’s just gossip though,” she added quickly. “Maybe it was love at first sight.”

“I don’t think so. My dad’s always looking for the easy way out, and my mom doesn’t have a warm bone in her body. He was probably cheating on their honeymoon.”

“They have their quirks,” Janet agreed, putting her hand on Jill’s shoulder and giving it a squeeze. “But they created a very special girl. You have to give them some credit for that.”

“Thanks,” Jill said, ducking her head. Lizzie leaned against her and Jill rested her cheek on her back. It had been a pretty awful day, but having Lizzie’s support had made it all so much better than it might have been. Of course, that was true every day of the week.

***

When Lizzie was born, Donna was heading off to the U. Tim graduated to Donna’s big bed, Lizzie took over the crib, and it was moved to Donna’s spot in the first floor bedroom, currently repurposed as the den. When Lizzie was just two, Kristen went to college. The other kids rebelled at the baby having a big room to herself, so she was reassigned to the smallest of the upstairs bedrooms, really just a large closet. It was laughably small, with a single bed and a white painted dresser filling it. Jill stood in the tiny room, assessing it. “God knows I don’t want to go back to my mother’s house, but we’d at least have a full-sized bed.”

“This will be fun,” Lizzie insisted, her smile so fetching Jill couldn’t help but return it.

“I guess I can find another spare bed to crawl into if you knock me to the floor.”

“That’s true for tonight. Tomorrow, Kristen and Dave will be here. Five more people squeezing into two bedrooms.”

“Well, I always say I love to cuddle. This will be the ultimate test of my capacity.”

“You’re a good sport,” Lizzie said, tickling under her chin. “Want to come into the bathroom with me to brush your teeth?”

“I don’t want to get caught,” she said before she could censor herself.

“Caught?” Lizzie stood close and put her hands on Jill’s hips. “Are you embarrassed about our relationship?”

“Not embarrassed,” she said, hedging. “I just want to give everyone time to get used to it. I’m trying to be sensitive.”

“You’re being a dope,” Lizzie said, smiling so sweetly it took all of the sting from her words. “If my mom’s uncomfortable, she’ll say something. You know that.”

“I do,” Jill said, annoyed by her own whining voice. “But I don’t want to make her get to that point.”

Lizzie tapped the tip of Jill’s nose with her finger. “You’re forbidden from worrying about that. I know you always had to be on the lookout for land mines at your house, but you don’t have to do that here. Promise.” She pulled her close and placed a tender kiss upon her lips. “Come on now.”

“You go ahead,” Jill insisted. “Since I’m not allowed to worry about them, I’m going to avoid any potential land mines, just to be safe.”

Lizzie rolled her eyes, grabbed her toiletries and went to brush her teeth, leaving Jill to unpack her clothing and try to find a place to lay it all out so it wouldn’t get wrinkled. Not an easy task with so few horizontal surfaces. She took the few things on the dresser and put them on the floor, then stretched her slacks across it and placed her shirts atop them. How had Lizzie managed without a closet?

After Lizzie returned, Jill went to get ready for bed. When she came back, she opened the door to find Lizzie on her side, in bed, and pressed up against the wall. The bedclothes were folded down, just like in an ad, waiting for Jill to climb in.

“The window’s open wide enough for something to fly in,” she said, starting to lower it.

“I know. But I’ll get really hot since I can’t roll away from you to cool off.”

“Then let me be by the wall. You’ll have more room to move, and you’ll be closer to the window.”

“Sure?” Lizzie was already scooting over. “I was trying to be polite.”

Jill lowered the window until it was open just a crack, then climbed over her, squealing when Lizzie reached up and pinched her butt. “I knew you’d have to grab something,” she grumbled.

“Then you should move faster. You can’t be slow around here.”

Jill stuck an arm under Lizzie and tumbled her onto her chest. “This is better. Lots more room.”