Authors: Candice Poarch
Women had always been easy for Colin. Maybe he didn't know what it took to work at keeping a relationship.
“Giving up is easy for you, isn't it?” Noelle said before she could stop herself. “You've chased women so long that you don't know how to fight for anything. You're running scared, aren't you? Because you put yourself on the line for this relationship. Women have just fallen at your feet in the past. You never cared about their feelings or about what they needed. It was all about you.”
“They knew the score.”
“Did I know the score? I love you. But it's my problem if you don't love me.”
When he walked to the door, she thought he was going to leave without responding. Then taking his hand from the doorknob, he turned and faced her. “The funny thing is, I can't stop loving youâand believe me I've tried.”
“I know you have.” That fact saddened her. Two people who loved each other were separated because they couldn't find a way around their problems.
“We need to talk,” Colin said. “But we can't right now. Diamond Spirit has to cover a mare soon,” he said. “Come back to the farm with me.”
“I don'tâ”
“George asked me to bring you,” he said.
“I think you're using George as an excuse. He doesn't know you're here, does he? If he knew William was here, he'd have come with you.”
Colin didn't acknowledge her one way or the other and Noelle knew he hadn't told George.
“I have to go, so could you please get your coat?” he asked.
“I was willing to trust what we shared even though I knew you'd probably break my heart. No. You aren't afraid of wild creatures or even some lunatic, but you're afraid of love, Colin Mayes.”
“Can we talk about this later?”
She stared at him a long time, then she sighed. “I never would have kissed you if I hadn't had feelings for you. And I certainly never would have made love to you. Whether you believe me or not, my feelings were not lies. In the beginning I was afraid to trust you because of your reputation. You weren't exactly squeaky clean with women, but from the beginning, I thought you were truthful with me. That you were worth the risk. That you weren't lying. That you felt something for me, too.”
Colin didn't know what to say. He needed time to deal with this, time he didn't have right then.
“So you're going to ignore me totally,” he finally heard Noelle say. Deep in his own thoughts, he'd completely zoned her out.
“Get your coat, please,” Colin finally said.
“Fine.” She headed to the back of the house.
For the first time since his son's death, George entered Mackenzie's room. Dust covered every surface because he didn't allow Leila to clean it. And since he was grieving so, she wouldn't fight him on it.
There were trophies and ribbons on the bookshelves. He touched them lovingly, remembering the time he'd spent at his son's games, and school and church plays. He was grateful that he'd participated in his son's life, that he hadn't let work interfere.
George picked up a photo of Mackenzie. There were many of him at different ages, and most of them were either on horseback or with horses.
Mackenzie was a large-animal vet. He'd enjoyed horses from the time he was no more than a young lad, when George would set him in front of him on the horse. George's wifeâMackenzie's motherâwould come running out the door afraid the horse would rear up and tumble them both to the ground. But Mackenzie could never ride enough.
And then he saw pictures he'd never paid much attention to before. Pictures of Mackenzie and Noelle, taken when she'd spent summer vacations at her grandparents' home. Some were of her at summer camp when Mackenzie had taught her to ride. One was in Mackenzie's veterinary office. One was of her when she was older and riding a bicycle in a neighborhood of adobe houses and tropical plants. She looked unaware the picture was being taken.
George didn't realize that tears were running down his face until he felt the wetness on his cheeks. He swiped them away.
God had a way of working things out, he thought. If Mackenzie had asked his counsel on doing something as crazy as being a sperm donor, George would have argued with him day in and day out. But look at the precious gift he'd left his father. George smiled past the tears. Noelle looked just like a female Mackenzie. She was a beautyâand he wasn't prejudiced just because she was his granddaughter.
George spotted the register from Mackenzie's wake. Leila must have placed it there. Franklin and Harriet Greenwood's names and phone number were in there. He remembered they'd attended Mackenzie's funeral.
He'd jumped the gun, he realized suddenly. He should have spoken to Noelle's parents before he made plans for the party. It was never his intention to exclude or disrespect the couple who'd raised her, who were still the most important part of her. It was Mackenzie's decision to bow out of her existence after giving her life.
George sat on the bed and picked up the phone. It was seven in the morning in California. He dialed the Greenwoods' number, hoping they didn't leave early for work.
“I'm George Avery,” he said when Franklin Greenwood responded. “It recently came to my attention that your daughter, Noelle, is my granddaughter. With your permission I want to announce her to my family. If you agree, I'd like to invite you to attend the party along with Gregory. He's a wonderful young man. I'm aware that both your parents are deceased, so I'm hoping you'll let me be a grandfather to her.” He held his breath while he waited for the response. He knew Noelle was old enough to make her own decisions, but if he wanted a stress-free relationship with her, he had to get along with her family. George believed in family.
Franklin and George had a lengthy and pleasant conversation before Franklin said he would talk it over with his wife and call him that evening.
George knew he'd have to include Noelle's brother, too. He didn't want to create a division among siblings. And he remembered the two were close. He liked that. Many times he'd wished he'd given Mackenzie the siblings he'd wanted.
After hanging up the phone, George collected some of the pictures and placed a few in his room and more in the den downstairs.
“Leila!” he called out.
She came running out of the kitchen with a dish towel in her hand. “What is it?”
“Can you get one of the cleaning women to clean Mackenzie's room?”
Leila's just stared at him until she gained her composure. “I'll do it myselfâ¦right away.”
George stifled a smile. She continued to stand as if rooted to the floor while she watched him don his coat and boots and leave the house. “I'll be back for lunch,” he called over his shoulder. He frowned when he saw two of the farm trucks arriving filled with men. Why were they gallivanting about when they had a mare Diamond Spirit needed to cover?
Colin didn't want to think too much about his conversation with Noelle. The good thing about a thoroughbred farm was there was always enough work to keep his mind occupied. Right now he'd just gotten off the phone with the vet who had called to update Colin on the breeding session. He'd used a teaser horse to test the mare to see if she was ready for Diamond Spirit to mount her. When it was apparent the mare wasn't, he'd used the horse for foreplay.
Colin shut his phone and urged his truck faster to the farm. He'd picked up Noelle, who sat beside him, asking questions about the breeding while absentmindedly petting the dog she'd insisted on bringing.
How was he going to make up for the way he'd treated her? He wanted to make things right, but it wasn't going to be easy. He smiled. At least she still loved him if he could believe that long speech she'd given.
He came to a halt at the house and hopped out, bringing the dog with him. The last thing he needed was that animal disturbing the horses. He ran into the house.
“Leila! Leila!”
“What is it?” she asked just before she appeared at the top of the stairs. “Everybody's screaming today.”
“I'm leaving Noelle's dog with you.”
“Not in this house, you're not.”
“She's not coming with us to the breeding shed. I have to go,” he said, leaving the dog in the foyer. As he left, he heard Leila muttering as she descended the stairs. That's what she got for talking George into getting the dog for Noelle in the first place, although, after William's escapade, Colin was glad for it.
By the time they drove to the shed, the men were leading the teaser away. Colin walked up to the vet. “Is she ready?”
“Red-hot,” the shorter man said. Colin introduced him to Noelle on the way into the shed.
She looked puzzled, seeing the mare's hind feet being covered with padded boots.
“The boots keep the mare from damaging Diamond Spirit if she kicks,” Colin explained.
And then a handler led Diamond Spirit into the shed. He was frisky and seemed to know exactly why he was there. One of the workers held the mare's tail while Diamond Spirit approached the mare. When he covered her, the handler held her reins. A video camera recorded the session just in case the owner questioned them.
For Colin, it was pretty unnerving to be standing beside the woman who turned his guts inside out. Every sound and movement she made made him more aware of her, despite the seriousness of the action in the shed.
When Diamond Spirit dismounted the mare, the handler led her out.
Colin exited, too, leaving Noelle in George's capable hands.
He couldn't escape quickly enough, Noelle thought as she watched Colin leave the breeding shed.
“How's the latest foal?” she asked George.
“Good. Let's take a look.” They started walking toward the barn.
The air was pungent with the smell of horse, manure and hay. The stablemen were mucking out some of the stalls.
The foal was nursing while the mother ate lunch.
“Is he too young to pet?” Noelle asked. The foal, with legs still too long in comparison with his body, looked cute.
“No. They have to get accustomed to human touch right away. He's one of Diamond Spirit's offspring. Frisky little fellow, isn't he?” George said.
“How many of Diamond Spirit's foals do you own?”
“Nine. I'd like to take you to races soon. One of Diamond Spirit's offspring is doing very well at the track.”
Noelle smiled as she stroked the horse. “I'd like that.”
Colin couldn't look too closely at the reason he'd told George about William's angry visit to Noelle's house. It certainly wasn't because he thought the nutcase would physically hurt Noelle. He was more talk than action. Besides, Colin believed William was too busy digging up information on Noelle and trying to disprove her connection to George to be a threat.
But Colin did know George would look for any excuse to spend more time with his granddaughter. So despite her stringent arguments, George had insisted she spend the night at the farm.
Colin should have known George would insist on going to town to confront William. Leila had quit muttering about the mutt long enough to go with him, probably afraid he'd keel over or something. She claimed she was saving her job. She had no intentions of working for William, she said, nor was she ready to retire just yet.
That left only him and Noelle at homeâalone. When Colin came in, she was nowhere to be seen. He frowned as he searched the house. The dog was in the den on a rug near the fire.
He found Noelle in the whirlpool. She looked out of this world, wearing a skimpy two-piece, her breasts straining against the top. She sipped her drink, and, with her eyes closed, she leaned her head back. Her hair was wet. It was obvious she'd been swimming.
Desire hit him as hard as a kick from a horse. He stood there gazing at her for a full two minutes before he forced himself to look away and head up the stairs. In his room, he shucked his clothing and stood under the cool spray of the shower, trying to ease Noelle from his mind. But he couldn't erase the memory of her in the firelight weeks ago. He couldn't erase the one night they'd made love in her bed.
He couldn't erase his love for her.
He turned off the water and quickly dried off, then he donned his clothes and left his room. He was as hungry for Noelle as he was for food.
She was heading up the stairs with a towel wrapped around her as he started down. They were within inches of each other when she saw him. Her hair was wet and little rivulets of water dripped from the long stands.
Her eyes ran warily over him before she squared her chin. “Leila left your supper on the stove,” she said.
“Got a minute?” Colin asked.
Puzzled, she answered him slowly, “Yes. What is it?”
“Let's go by the fire,” he said. He wouldn't touch her, couldn't touch her if he were to hold on to his sanity, if he wanted to sound coherent.
Colin tried to figure out what to say. The one thing women loved to hear was a man admitting he was wrong. Maybe he should just say it and get it over with.