Highland Secrets (English Edition) (8 page)

As Molly had made an interesting proposal, I decided to take a look at something that Adam felt very strongly about. Maybe then the image I had of Adam wouldn’t be as tarnished.

The distillery was situated halfway between the MacLeod’s estate and
Dunvegan. It was a long, low stone house. There was a white sign in front of the entrance with “Glenoak Distillery” in dark brown lettering. A group of about fifteen people were already waiting for the beginning of the guided tour. I entered the small shop which sold all sorts of souvenirs, but also had different colors and types of whisky on offer and bought myself a ticket for the next guided tour.

I didn’t have to wait long before Adam appeared in front of the tourists.
His shoulders were tight and with a serious expression on his face he took a look around him, he gave me a fleeting glance and then he greeted all those taking part in the tour. He was wearing a black suit jacket, a blue shirt underneath the jacket which accentuated his unusual eye color and a kilt in the MacLeod colors. He looked very good in this get-up.  The suit jacket made him look even bigger.

“
Dear visitors, my name is Adam MacLeod. Today, I will be taking you on a guided tour of our distillery and will reveal to you what makes the Scottish whiskey so special. At the end of our guided tour, we will meet up again and will try what I am about to show you.” He looked at me directly, his eyes narrowing a little, and then turned away. “Please follow me.”

He opened a double door made of
light wood and the group followed him. Murmuring could be heard as we went down the first few steps into a long room in which enormous wooden barrels could be found that were fastened firmly into the ground. Adam turned towards the group and waited for the  murmuring to stop.

“The
Glenoak Distillery was formed in 1774. Back then distilleries were experiencing a rollercoaster ride. The government attempted to limit the amount of whiskey that was distilled here in Scotland and granted exemption of taxes and levies without any real success. Even when it was banned to import Scottish whiskey to England, people still found ways of getting the water of life, as whiskey was known here, to England.

The
whiskey gets its smoky taste from the peat which is distilled during the malting process. In the past, distilleries used to do the malting themselves, but now only five distilleries still do it independently. When Glenoak was reopened back in 1894, it was decided not to carry out the malting process here. It simply costs too much money and that’s why the malting is done externally for us as it is for most other distilleries.” Adam moved towards one of the huge barrels and leaned his hand against it. “The malted barley is then mixed in here with water and yeast. We usually have beer in these containers, very strong beer.”

A few of the visitors laughed at Adam’s comment and I
asked myself how often had he experienced the people listening to him laughing unbelievably at this point. He must have known this reaction, as he paused after the word beer and took the opportunity to give me a crooked grin that gave me a feeling of warmth throughout my body. I turned away embarrassed and looked at one of the six wooden barrels with interest.

Adam
led us into the next room where there were numerous huge copper vats. He explained to us that the whiskey was distilled here twice. Then a liquid would come out at the end which would be so clear, just like spring water, that it was used to distill the whiskey.

“This is the warehouse”, explained Adam and his blue eyes shined so bright that I got the feeling that his eyes alone were li
ghting up the dim warehouse, which was filled right up to the ceiling with wooden barrels. He stood still and let the visitors step past him into the warehouse. I was the last to enter and Adam placed himself right next to me. He was so close that I was able to feel the warmth of his body. The sleeves of his shirt were rolled up and I was sure that the tickling feeling on my lower arms had come from the fine hairs on his skin. When I took a step to one side, he laughed so silently that only I could hear it.

“Before these
barrels made from Spanish oak were filled with whiskey, they contained bourbon.whiskey. This is another piece of the puzzle that is important for the taste of single malt.”

A man entered the warehouse behind us and remained standing next to Adam. “This is our
master blender, the most important man of any distillery. Connor will explain to you why it is so important.” Connor had reddish hair as far as I could see in the slightly dark room. He was quite big, but very lanky and now stepped up to the visitors. I wanted to follow him, but Adam took hold of my wrist and shook his head.

“Where do you think you’re going?
”, he whispered and his eyes gazed into mine. I wanted to free myself from his grip, but Adam just held me tighter and pulled me into an alcove between the highly stacked barrels. He had a grin like a Cheshire cat on his face and pressed me with his body against a clammy wall. The alcove was just wide enough to prevent Adam’s shoulders from bumping into the barrels. “Nobody can see us here. And as they will all be trying the best single malt whiskey on the whole island, they are not going to miss us.”

I was breathing rapidly and was trying to push Adam away from me, but he just pinned me harder between the
stone wall and his hard chest. “Let me go”, I protested in silence, because I had lost my voice as his breath hit my face.

“So you’re interested in whis
key are you?”, he enquired and wrapped his hand around both my wrists. He lifted my arms above my head and pressed my hands against the cold stone just hard enough for the stone to press against my knuckles, but it wasn’t painful.

I wanted to tell him that the tour was Molly’s idea, but I didn’t trust my voice, so I just nodded breathlessly.

He put his other hand on my waist and slowly inch by inch slid it up my ribs until his thums were pressing against the bottom of my breast. Shaking, I drew in some air. Adam’s eyes were narrow slits and he was breathing just as heavily as I was. However, I doubted very much that he was also scared. Adam sank his mouth into my ear, his nose stroked along my ear muscle. “If you want to win this competition, you should keep away from me.” His thum stroked my erect nipple which made me lose control of my knees. They briefly gave way. “Even if you try to defend yourself, you can’t resist me just like all the other women in this room.”

I slid my hands between our bodies and pushed him away from me with
all my might. Erotic heat may still have been flowing through me and every cell in my body longed to be touched by Adam, but the last sentence felt like a cold shower.

“Only you believe that!
”, I berated him and fled immediately from the alcove. My face went even redder when the visitors looked at me in astonishment and when Adam left the alcove behind me and refastened my blouse in front of everybody, I just wanted the ground to swallow me up in shame.

Instead, I held my head up high and went towards the group. “Thank you for telling me more about the production of these barrels, Mr
. MacLeod”, I said loudly. Connor raised his eyebrows and most of the tourists turned away from me in shame and all of a sudden were very busy trying the whiskey.

Adam
bent over my shoulders from behind and whispered: “Only two more seconds and I would have put my tongue between those unbelievably full lips.”

I swallowed heavily and pushed past an older woman to get
to Connor who offered me a glass of dark whiskey with a knowing smile. I gratefully accepted and took a huge sip. I spluttered and had a coughing fit because the dark-brown liquid had almost burnt my throat. “Oh my god, what’s that?” I croaked with tears in my eyes and gasping for breath.

“Our oldest malt.”
Connor gloated in a way that was written all over his face. The man in his fourties was obviously making fun of me.

After the tour of the distillery, I swore to myself never to drink whiskey again.
And to follow Adam’s advice. I would stay out of his way. I would be best off locking myself in the gallery because I wasn’t immune to this dangerous, grim man and the vulnerability he showed. I could maybe convince myself to resist him as I didn’t want to be taken in by a man like him ever again. But the reality was different. He didn’t need to touch me once. Just by looking at me with those eyes was enough to turn my body into quivering mess. Why in the hell did he not behave in the same way as this morning?

I
spent tonight’s dinner with Molly and Alfred again alone in the kitchen. Adam seemed to work a lot and long hours. His habit of using women and then dumping them appeared to be his only flaw. He took his work seriously and his relationship with his employees was obviously more than just an employer-employee relationship. I had seen him with Alfred and Molly who he treated with a lot of respect. If Professor Robert MacLeod really had such a negative image of his son, then he was wrong. Of course he shouldn’t treat women in this way, but I couldn’t say that he led an irresponsible life. He was missing his second dinner in a row today.

“Does Adam always work such long hours?”

“Every now and then”, said Alfred and ate a mouthful of fried fish.

Every now and then didn’t sound like regularly. Maybe he was just trying to stay out of my way and what happened in the distillery today was a lapse. When I thought about the scene in the distillery this afternoon, I got butterflies in my stomach. “
Only two more seconds and I would have put my tongue between those unbelievably full lips”, he had said. I shuddered at the idea. I wouldn’t have been able to resist. I definitely knew that. I found it incredibly difficult to push him away from me. What was he doing to me?

Maybe it was best that he wasn’t at home. I had no idea how I would react to his closeness. Just by imagining that
he was here would make every cell in my body shake with nerves. I should restore the paintings quicker. The sooner I got away from his attraction, the better.

“You should really go to the
harbor festival together”, suggested Molly. “After all, you are both still young. Go and do something while you’re here.”

“No, I would be better off making sure that
I get my work completed.” Molly had probably set her mind on fulfilling Professor MacLeod’s last wish of bringing me together with Adam. That can’t happen. I was already having difficulties with Adam as it was and this incredible desire he awakenend in me.

“
I think that’s very sensible”, I heard from behind me. I turned around alarmed. Adam leaned on the refrigerator and looked seriously at the rest of the group. Then he looked at me with a mixture of regret and a silent apology on his face, but I wasn’t sure because as quickly as this emotion had appeared on his face, it had also disappeared with the clattering sound of high heels getting closer. A woman of about thirty years of age with jet black hair and an olive-colored complexion appeared next to Adam.

“Good evening”
, she greeted us with a strong Italian accent. She cuddled up to Adam and looked at me defiantly. Adam put his arm around her waist and pulled her closer to his body. At least she is older than the average I calculated, I thought angrily.

I felt a tinge of jealously penetrate
my chest and I was annoyed about it. Why was I jealous? I didn’t like him one little bit. He was sexy, was unbelievably attractive to me, but he was also harsh and kept me at arm’s length when he gave me that unapproachable facial expression from which I understood that I had no chance with him. I should hate him, but I didn’t. The more he pushed me away, the more I wanted to have him. And I knew that I wouldn’t be able to cope with him, so I should be happy that he wasn’t interested in me.

And still I wished that he hadn’t forgotten his promise so quickly, which was to win our game.
I evaded his provocative glance. Was he putting it on to hurt me? Yes, he lured me in like chocolate ice cream. And this danger he exuded made it even worse, but I didn’t understand why he was trying to push me away. I put on an unmoved expression and turned towards my food. He musn’t realize that seeing him with another woman had left me feeling cold.

“We will be upstairs”, he said
briefly and led the Italian woman along behind him. I started to feel a dull pain inside me and I swallowed hard. Maybe I had wanted to play this game more than I cared to admit. Perhaps it was best that he had decided otherwise, because it suddenly became clear to me that it would have been impossible to resist him for much longer. He would have won far too quickly.

After this evening, Adam did actually go out of his way to avoid me. Maybe I was evading him too. I focused on the paintings in the gallery. I had restored the portrait of the professor and the remaining pictures would require less effort. I would maybe be finished here in another two weeks and then I could leave. That would allow me to forget Adam. I should have felt relieved, but the imminent farewell weighed on my mind.

I may have wanted to get away from Adam as quickly as possible, but the possibility of not seeing him ever again hurt me too. He hadn’t given me any reason to feel like this. Most of the time I had been here we had stayed out of each other’s way. And I knew right from the start that Adam was the type of man who
would hurt women if they allowed him to get too close. He was good looking and had this aura of danger that made women’s hearts melt. He turned them into quivering, helpless, hopeful girls who threw themselves into his arms without hesitation.

However, since that evening about a week ago, no other women had been here. Perhaps he met them outside the estate or maybe he had
briefly lost interest in them. When we saw each other in the house, he seemed grim, distant and confused. We even ate together every now and then in the evening, but he didn’t speak very much and avoided looking at me directly. This new Adam made me feel even more insecure than the old one. I didn’t know what had happened to him. I suddenly found myself wishing for the macho back because that guy was more open and not as unapproachable. If I had ever felt really unwanted in this house, then it was now.

“You’ve done well with the portrait”, he said when he entered t
he gallery behind me. I dropped the brush which I was about to put on one of the older paintings to remove the dirt and turned around.

Adam sat behind the desk that had belonged to his father with a
stiffled expression on his face and folded his arms in front of his chest. He didn’t look as if he wanted to leave the house today. He was just wearing a black, tight-fitting t-shirt and a pair of jeans that were low on the hips and which were torn at the knees. If he had looked sexy in his kilt or suit, then this outfit really was a gift to the ladies. I swallowed the big lump that had formed in my throat and ignored the painful pulling feeling in my stomach.

“Yes, just two more weeks and then you have the house to yourself for your sex parties”, I said coldly. He shouldn’t be led to believe that his behavior of the last few days had gone unnoticed.

“They are not sex parties. I just like having people around me.”

“Especially women.”

He raised an eyebrow and then turned to a piece of paper which he studied. “I’m a man and I have never kept it a secret about what type of man I am. I like having sex with women.”

“Yes, you just can’t let them get closer
to you.” He couldn’t actually do that, was that the reason why he was behaving so strangely towards me all of a sudden? So that I didn’t get too close to him? Or had he just been in a bad mood for the last few days?

“Are you concerned about the women that have b
een found dead? You knew them.” Maybe that had affected him more than he cared to admit. It was impossible that these murders had just passed him by. Molly had told me that both victims had been to one of the parties at the house. The authorities also came to this conclusion as they were here to ask Adam about it this morning. Since then, he had been even more grim than he had been in the last few days.

He shrugged his shoulders and delved further into the letter. He obviously didn’t want to talk about it. It must have affected him. Anything else would have made me worried. Was that the reason why he wasn’t
meeting women anymore?

“You don’t have to talk a
bout it, but if you want to, I’m a good listener.” I offered him, but I doubted that he would open up to me. Adam was not the type of man who would allow himself to show signs of weakness to the outside world.

“Are you a therapist?” he asked harshly and bit his teeth together so hard that his jaw muscles
protruded.

Disturbed by this, I turned my back on him, but then decided otherwise. “You know what, I may not be a therapist, but I can help you. You don’t have to be ashamed to accept help when you need it.
Your moods over the last few days have been almost unbearable”, I shouted at him.

“My moods? What do you know about my moods? Maybe I’m always like that?”

“You’re not. You have been nicer. I really prefer your oversized ego to what you are like now.”

“Maybe I had an exceptionally good day then.”

“Maybe. Then we’ll have to hope that you have another good day again soon. I cannot deal with this sombre atmosphere.”

“You can’t deal with a lot of things, can you
?, he snapped back and looked at me provocatively.

I approached the desk
.

“For example?”

“Men like me?” He stood up and leaned on the desk. His eyes gazed into mine. I could hear him breathing calmly and controlled. My breathing was taken over by agitation and anger.

“
Don’t flatter yourself. I probably got the wrong impression about you. You are nothing more than a bad tempered grumpy bear.”

The corner of his mouth twitched and his eyes brightened up a little “Grumpy bear?”

My heart pounded at the look he gave me. It made me very hot and the palms of my hands were clammy. I wanted to mention something, but I completely lost my train of thought because Adam looked at me with a desire in his eyes that made me shudder. I took a step back. “In any case, I just wanted to help you”, I said quietly.

“Damn it, I don’t need your help. I don’t need anybody’s help. My father wanted to give me the
rapy and you do too. Doesn’t anybody understand that I want to live like this?”, he roared behind me.

“So you want to lay a different girl every night?” I replied also angrily.

“Yes, why not?”, he said and stood next to me. He leaned against the wall right next to the still life of a fruit bowl that I was just working on. I took my brush and started to work in order to change back to the mode where we stay silent and he stared angrily. But it didn’t look like he was quite ready to change back again.

“E
verybody needs a person around them who they can trust and who they can tell everything to.”

“Do you have somebody like that?” he growled.

Did I have somebody like that? My grandmother Alice. But no, I couldn’t tell her everything. I couldn’t talk to her when I had failed and when I wasn’t as successful as I planned to be. I could only tell her about the positive events in my life. When I told her about Aidan back then, she turned around without uttering a word. I still haven’t forgiven her for that. No, I had nobody, but I couldn’t tell Adam that.

“I knew it”, said Adam because he had read the answer all over my face.

“It’s not like that”, I defended myself. “My parents died in a train accident when I was fourteen. Only my grandmother is still alive. I grew up with her.”

“I’m sorry”, he gave me a gentler glance, then shut his eyes, shook his head and disappeared. Adam seemed to escape any sort of confrontatio
n. Why I was even trying to develop some sort of relationship with him? It was obvious that he didn’t want it. Not even a purely platonic relationship. He shut himself off completely. I was certain that he felt very lonely despite the parties he held and the women he surrounded himself or didn’t surround himself with.

Did his wife really make him fall apart? He
must have been very hurt if he couldn’t trust anybody. However, if he had known her for so long, then he must have trusted her more than any other person. She must have been the person who he told everything to and who he let get closer to him than anybody else. The betrayal had destroyed him. What Adam needed was somebody who proved to him that he could trust them. But I wasn’t the right person for that. I had my own trust issues.