Highland Secrets (English Edition) (4 page)

“Not even a little bit?”, he whispered abrasively and his breath went across my face. He took my empty glass from me and his fingers brushed mine. As I could see from the glow in his eyes, this wasn’t completely unintentional. His eyes weren’t completely royal blue, I thought in a mesmerized state. A dark blue ring surrounded the iris.

“Have you
seen something you find attractive, English woman?«, he wanted to know.

»No
, I just thought: not only is he strutting about like a male dog that has smelt the scent of a female, but also that he has the eyes of a husky.”

He burst
out laughing with his guttural laugh and then he looked at me seriously. “At least I can admit that you make me horny.”

My stomach was in knots as
I was overcome by nerves. Did he really just say that? He squinted his eyes and was perhaps trying to guage my reaction to what he had just said, but I tried my best not to react at all. “I don’t have to admit anything if its not the truth” I answered him peeved.

“So you don’t feel anything when I do this?” He ran his knuckles up the naked skin of my arm
.

It gave me the chills
, but this wasn’t anything to do with the cold. I had to admit that he knew exactly what to do to provoke the right reactions in my body. And I was just as inexperienced at flirting as he was experienced and I didn’t know how to deal with it when he did what he had just done.

“No”
, I lied and hated the trembling in my voice that told him I wasn’t telling the truth.

“You don’t feel anything there either?”
He put his fingers on my neck and stroked my lower lip with his thum.

I was scared about the burning sensation in my body that this soft touch triggered in me. I backed off from him and crashed into the
door frame. “No nothing”, I said almost inaudibly. Why was he being so self-assertive? Wouldn’t it be more appropriate to get to know each other first before getting closer in this way?

Another man in a kilt moved towards us and gave a babbling laugh. “So you’re chasing women again are you, my friend? Anyone would think that these parties were only h
eld for us men to pick up women; stupid tourists”, he said and staggered dangerously in my direction. This guy with frizzy blond hair and chunky stomach had really had too much to drink. It was doubtful whether he was still able to do anything with a “stupid tourist” at all.

Nevertheless, I lo
oked at Adam from under squinted eyelids. Was that the reason for this masked ball? Did the Scots often do something like this? And did my host always hold these parties in his house or was it just his turn this time? Adam looked nervous. He had really been caught in the act.

I took another look around. A few women were dancing with men. There were couples standing around here and there who were really
making out with each other and who seemed to be locked together. I got the impression that the drunkard was right and this masked ball was really intended for one purpose.

The men in kilts had really devised the perfect plan.
To invite new women every time and to always get some fresh meat. None of the tourists would stay for longer than a couple of days, which meant that the men always had a new group of women. A never ending stream of innocent tourists. But were they really so innocent? They didn’t seem to be defending themselves at least. They were all laughing and having fun. Maybe it was nothing more than a nice brief adventure for the women?

While Adam was busy trying to get the drunken Highlander back on his feet, I stole myself away from them.
This masked ball would end for me right now as a sexual escapade wasn’t on my to-do-list. I ran to my room and locked it from the inside. I didn’t do this because I was scared of the idea that everybody downstairs had only turned up to have their fun, but because I was scared of the idea that I may become part of this fun. I had known for a while now that I would only have sex with a man who wasn’t a stranger and who was somebody I could trust. Somebody who wanted more from me than just sex. And somebody who was honest to me. I already knew who the liars were.

Exhausted and with a tingling sensation that entered me when I thought about Adam’s blue eyes, which had looked into mine so intensely and with such desire, I decided to get out of bed.

What the hell was that? And why did this quick flirt with Adam make me feel so aroused like no other man before? My body had never reacted with such intensity to being near a man. And I didn’t even know what this man looked like. I had only see his eyes, his muscles that had moved underneath his t-shirt and smelt the heavy aroma of his aftershave. And the sound of his deep voice which had vibrated in my stomach whenever he said something.

I
closed my eyes in desperation and pulled my hair. “Get out of my head”, I cursed quietly. Was I really just going to be a play thing for him for one night? Was that where his desire came from? Was it the kick he got from getting together with someone new? Sex without any obligation? But what I found so confusing was knowing that I had almost given in to the temptation. I was so close to succumbing to his attraction and I would have given in to him even if should have known better. But I wasn’t like that. I didn’t want to be used and then discarded. Never again.

The fear of breaking down again had protected me from exactly these situations up to now. Yet, this man had brought out something unexpected in me.
It felt dangerous. And this danger made me forget for a moment that I never allow myself to be taken in by men like him. What I needed was to know for sure that I wouldn’t be used and I couldn’t find this kind of security with playboys.

Why was I even thinking about it? I wouldn’t see him again anyway, so it didn’t really matter. It was just a flirt, not even that. It didn’t mean anything. However, knowing t
hat I would never see him again was a big blow to me. Part of me would have liked to have known what it would have been like between us. The erotic rustling, the tension between us that was tangible. He was overcome by the same desire as I was. I had seen it in his eyes. Playing with fire had excited me a little and yes even turned me on.

A noise jolted me from my sleep. Was that the scream of a woman? In bewilderment, I blinked to get rid of the sleepiness in my eyes and only then did I notice that I was still wearing my dress. I must have fallen asleep while thinking about Adam and these parties with a clear purpose in mind. Now, after I had had a while to sleep on it, I felt even more repulsed about the events of the previous night. These men used these women for their own pleasure. I came to terms with the disappointment about my professor’s son. I would have liked to condemn him for this, but I didn’t even know him. I comforted myself with the thought that Robert MacLeod had not been like that. He had always spoken so lovingly about his wife who as far as I knew had died a few years ago from cancer.

I remembered
the scream that had woken me up and listened out into the darkness which was only interrupted by a narrow silver lining which the moon cast to the ground. Everything was quiet. Not even the tiniest of noises made its way into my room. Was it all just a dream?

I reached for my cell
phone which I had left lying on my small bedside cabinet next to my bed in the afternoon. It was 2:34 am. I slowly rubbed my temples and slid to the edge of the bed. I had a very itchy throat. All I wanted to do was to quickly sneak to the bathroom at the end of the corridor and have a few sips of water. And then I just wanted to sleep for a few more hours – if possible without wearing my dress. I stroked the wrinkled fabric in frustration and hoped that I could get it back to how it looked before. Unfortunately it was very sensitive fabric and I didn’t have another dress with me. I only packed this dress because of a feeling I had.

I opened the door quietly and listened out again. The party clearly seemed to have ended. The house
was overcome by a wonderful silence and like its residents seemed to be in a deep sleep. I stepped out into the corridor and was grateful for the dark lamps on the walls which lit up the long corridor.

After I had just passed the adjacent room, I heard a crashing sound and then the scream of a
woman which was followed by an audible moan. Was it possible that somebody had hurt themselves? Maybe I hadn’t been dreaming? The door was open with a gap of about twenty centimeters. I deliberated whether it was best for me to take a look. Maybe she had had too much to drink and had fallen over? I moved slowly towards the door, but couldn’t prevent an uneasy feeling from developing in my stomach. It wasn’t fear, it was more the feeling of doing something that I wasn’t meant to be doing. Perhaps my subconscious already knew what my eyes and my brain had only just understood.

The woman definitely wasn’t in pain. I could
n’t say which of the two women who were both lolling about with a man on a wide bed had screamed. I pressed my hand against my mouth in shock. Three people were actually lying in this bed. All three of them were still wearing their masks. One of the women had her hands tied to the headboard of the bed. She was moaning and moving her head to and fro so that her long blonde hair was swirling around like a golden waterfall.

The second woman, who was also blonde, but had quite short
tousled hair, was knelt between the legs of the first woman. She dipped her tongue into the vagina of the long-haired girl. For just a moment, I watched fascinated and absorbed this spectacle. I started to feel cramp in my stomach and my heart was beating rapidly against my chest. I could barely tear myself away from what the woman was doing with her tongue. Not because they were two women, but because one of the women was pleasuring the other one with her mouth.

I had often heard other women talking about it and imagined how it would be in secret, but my only steady boyfriend and sexual partner before now had never done it to me. He was disgusted by the idea of it. That’s why I didn’t know how it felt
and whether my powers of imagination were even sufficient to do justice to what this woman was so ecstatically able to do with her lower abdomen.

I was just about able to suppress an aroused sigh. And at
the moment, when the dark-haired man who was lying at the foot of the bed and who had been watching the girls started to move, I only then realized what I was actually doing here. I was infringing on the privacy of these three people. I wanted to move away from the door, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I could barely hold my breath when the man knelt down behind the woman who had just been pleasing the other woman with her tongue. I could only see his broad lower back, but the sight of his back and the way his muscles flexed as he penetrated the woman with powerful thrusts aroused and fascinated me much more than the two women.

I bit my lower lip in desperation as the heat flowed through my body. I could feel wetness between m
y legs and it soaked my panties. I was aroused and at the same time I was embarrassed that I was still stood here and watching how they gave in to their desires.

I was about t
o pull myself away when the man wrapped himself tighter around the waist of the woman who was kneeling in front of him. The muscles of his upper arms were bulging and then he started to penetrate the woman even more ecstatically. The other woman cried out and clawed her hands into the hair of the short-haired girl who had just stopped satisfying her with her tongue so that she was better able to take in the powerful thrusts from the man. The man laughed raucously and reached out for the short-haired woman in front of him so that he could push his fingers into the virgina of the woman who had been tied up. In the same rhythm as he was having sex with the one woman, he was feeling the other one with his fingers.

I started to break out into a sweat on my forehead, but I couldn’t do anything but lick my lips and enjoy the view of his muscles that moved in harmony with his thrusts. His bac
kside tensed up on every thrust. He threw his head against his neck and gave a loud groan at the same time as both woman started to cry out and curl underneath him. These cries finally tore me away from the scene and, shocked about what I just done, I moved back from the door and fled to my room.

Shaking
, I took off my dress and threw it over the foot of my bed. How could I have just stood there watching? I was disgusted at myself, but the throbbing sensation between my legs didn’t leave me thinking badly of myself for very long. I crawled underneath my duvet and I started to wonder about the reaction my body had to what it had just seen. I had had sex already, but I had never felt so aroused. I had never longed for relief so much. This throbbing feeling between my legs and the heat that flowed through my body were completely new sensations. Sex had never aroused me before. I had never experienced what is supposed to make sex so beautiful; pure ecstatic desire and sexual lust.

Of course, I knew what arousal was. I had been aroused before, but not in this way.
This desire that errupted in my body and the heat and tingling sensation in my stomach … Did watching sex arouse me more than the sex itself? My relationship with my fellow student Steven was my only one to date. I got together with Steven because I wanted to prove to myself that not all men were like Aidan. But in the end we broke up after one year because I didn’t have true feelings for him. The fear of being abandoned was what prevented me from letting Steven get closer to me. Having sex with Steven was like making an arrangement and nothing more. I didn’t get swept off my feet and my sexual needs weren’t satisfied either.

The urge to relieve myself was too great and I let
my hand slide into my panties. I pressed the painful, throbbing spot with my fingers. This spot was the focal point of all these desires that the three individuals in the adjacent room had awoken in me. I had still never had an orgasm during sex, but when I masturbated I always climaxed. I closed my eyes and saw the dark-haired man in front of me. I imagined him kneeling behind me and sinking his hard penis into my vagina. My fingers circled my clitoris just a few times until I had a climax which was so intense that I felt exhausted and sank into my bed satisfied.