High (29 page)

“Are you okay?” She asks.

“Yeah, fine.”

“Well there’s some fella outside askin’ for ya, and it’s not Nathaniel.”

“Hot?” I ask.

She grins. “Very.”

“Shit.” I sit up on the bed and chew nervously on my bottom lip. I just need to get it over with, like ripping off a plaster. I’ll do it and he’ll leave and I can go on with my life.

I change out of the oversized t-shirt that I wear to bed—the t-shirt that belonged to him. I throw on a pair of jeans and a jumper with my heeled boots. For once I actually check my reflection, drag my fingers through my hair, put on a little mascara. Shit, why do I even care?

I clip Peppy’s lead on and leave the dorm room. I’m not going to see him, I’m taking Peppy for a walk and if I bump into him I’ll tell him to leave, that I don’t love him.

I descend the stairs with Peppy tucked under my arm, his little tail tapping against my back furiously. He loves going for a walk. I put him down at the bottom of the stairs, glancing around nervously.

Outside, it’s cold and the air stings my cheeks as I walk. I don’t see him and I’m equal parts happy about that as I am disappointed. He’s fucking with me already.

I walk into the park and let Peppy off the lead, walking over and taking a seat on the small stone wall that surrounds the duck pond. I watch the little orange fish swim beneath the ice. Poor bastards must be freezing. I sit there for a few minutes before I spot movement out of the corner of my eye. I watch him approach and take a seat next to me. I guess I did come out here to meet him after all. I had this speech planned, everything I might say to him. Basically telling him to go fuck himself, but as I look up and those golden eyes meet mine, all my resolve fails me and the truth spills out like an ugly black stain.

“I hate that you’re here.” I admit.

He shakes his head. “I wish I could leave, Blake, I really do. I shouldn’t have come, but now I’m here…it’s one thing to love you from half a world away, but to have you in front of me...”

My breath hitches painfully. “It changes nothing.”

“It changes everything.” He grips my chin gently and the touch resonates over my entire body. “Tell me you don’t love me and I’ll go.”

I ignore him because I can’t. “You know, you could have told me about your brother. I would have helped you.”

“You would have been an accessory.”

“Better an accessory than betrayed.”

He nods. “You’re right, but please understand, he’s my brother. He’s all I have, and I made him a promise.”

“You had me.” My voice breaks.

“You have no idea how hard it was making that choice, and honestly, I almost left Lucas in that prison. But I know you, Blake. I just had to hope that you would hear my side of it and understand, that you would trust me when I say that I was always coming back for you.” His fingers leave my chin, trailing across my cheek. “This was the only way to get Luca free and not implicate you.”

My stupid heart slams against my ribs. “You hurt me, Rhett. You pushed me to a place I never wanted to go.” I think of that moment in his apartment, the stash of drugs just begging me to take them, to end the pain and the rejection.

He brings his other hand up, cupping the other side of my face. “I know, Duchess. You were my first and last thought every fucking day.”

“I can’t do this.”

He shakes his head. “You can’t run from it.”

“You left and you didn’t even look back.”

He smirks. “You really think that? I’ve had people watching you for months. Ever since I left.”

God, that shouldn’t make a difference, it shouldn’t make my stomach erupt in butterflies, but it does. “That’s kind of creepy.”

He shrugs one shoulder. “Creeping from afar.”

“I don’t know what you want from me. I can’t just forgive you.”

A soft smile touches his lips. “No, but you will.” I have no idea what he’s on about half the time. “I’m in Dublin for a few months on business. I’m acquiring some property.”

I drop my gaze and try to fight the smile that threatens. “You’re staying? For me?”

He leans in and presses his lips to my forehead. “I would do much more for you, Duchess. My brother is free; you have my undivided loyalty. I love you.”
 

Two months later…

I can feel Rhett’s eyes burning a hole in my back from the other end of the bar.

“I’ll have a pint of cider, sweetheart.” The guy says, never once taking his eyes off my tits. I don’t mind. Let him look, it’s probably making his day right now. Rhett’s, not so much. I usually ban him from coming in when I’m working, but it’s Christmas Eve and he said he’d take me home. No one wants to be alone at Christmas, and seeing as I’m disowned by my family, it’s just him and me. I don’t mind. I’m still holding a grudge, but really he is my family, and honestly, there’s no one I’d rather be with. 

I go to the other end of the bar, reaching up to grab a glass from the shelf overhead. “Three fucking seconds, Duchess.” Rhett growls.

I frown and look at him. “What?”

“You have three fucking seconds to put your arms back down and your arse away before I kill every motherfucker in here who is looking at your fucking panties right now.”

I roll my eyes and turn around to pour the pint. I’ll admit, the Santa’s outfit that barely covers my arse and showcases suspenders…that would be bad enough, but seeing as all he’s had for months is his hand and the occasional blow job, born of the odd moment of weakness on my part…he’s edgy.

I would like it acknowledged that I’m pretty much a fucking goddess of will power because, believe me, he has tried. Denying Rhett Torres is pretty much like trying to stop breathing. Fucking impossible. I’ll admit, I’ve questioned my own sanity at times, and yes, I’ve sat on his face several times, but no P in the V.

Why? Because as much as I love him, and as much as I wanted to just let him back in, I needed him to wait. I needed to see if he would wait. I needed to regain some of my self-respect and become Blake again, not Miles McQueen’s daughter or Rhett Torres’ girlfriend. I needed to trust him, trust us. As for the forgiveness…truthfully, I don’t think there was ever really anything to forgive. It hurt, but honestly, Milly is the closest thing I have to a sister. If she were in that situation, there is nothing I wouldn’t do for her. Life is full of shitty choices. He just made the one he could live with, the one he hoped he could fix.

At this stage, I’m just holding on for the sake of my own dignity. I love him, but he needs to work his way back in and I’m not making it easy for him. I check the clock, and it’s ten o’ clock, the end of my shift. I go out back and grab my coat and bag before I say bye to Casey and wish her a Happy Christmas.

Rhett wraps an arm around my waist and we walk outside onto the busy street. People drunkenly stagger around, singing and cheering as they dodge street performers and tuk-tuks. Crowds spill out of bar doorways until the entire street is one big party. This is Temple Bar and I love it. The place is infectious. You can’t help but smile when you’re here because it’s such a good vibe.

My heels click over the cobblestones as we walk a couple of streets over to where Rhett’s car is parked. I sigh when I get in, glad to finally be off my feet.

“You know you don’t have to work there.” Rhett starts.

“Rhett.” I sigh. I came to Dublin to make a life for myself, get my degree, a career, but most of all I wanted to do it myself. Of course, he just hates men looking at me, and me working such shit hours. He would pay my way and think nothing of it, but I didn’t come here to trade a rich daddy for a rich boyfriend.

He places his hand on my thigh and my pulse jumps excitedly. “Okay. Fine.”

He drives through the windy streets and finally pulls up outside a building. “Uh, where are we?”

He leans back in the seat. “My new place.” This again.

“So you like Dublin?”

He smiles. “There are certain attractions for me here.”

I smirk. “Are you sure you aren’t tired of waiting for said attractions to open?”

He turns to face me, those gold irises imprisoning me and branding me with just the briefest glance. “I’ll wait as long as it takes for you, Blake.”

My heart splutters in my chest like a giddy girl, and I break eye contact, opening the car door. I look up at the old brick building with metal balconies outside the windows. It’s pretty. The locks on the car chirp and he steps in front of me, opening the door.

I follow him into the hallway, and there at the end is a tiny lift with an old fashioned metal gate that pulls across.

“Heaven forbid you should have to do any exercise.” He smiles.

I bite my bottom lip on a grin as I step inside. They say that love is all about the grand gestures, but it’s really the little things. It’s the tiny thoughtful moments that you know are of no consequence to the other person, and yet, they think of them because they know it matters to you.

When he opens the door to the apartment I smile. I was expecting his cold, sterile thing, but it’s not at all. The floors are wood, the walls a soft beige, and there's art and cushions, even a little fire place. It looks like a home, and as I walk around, I notice little nik-naks and trinkets that were in Milly’s flat. Pictures, a stolen garden gnome, a willy shot glass I won in Las Vegas.

“You had my stuff sent over?” He nods. “Why?” I ask.

He slowly paces towards me, crossing his arms over his chest. “Because I want you to move in here. I didn’t buy this place for me. I bought it for us.”

I don’t know what to say. “Rhett, I…”

He holds up his hand. “Before you answer I have something for you.”

I frown and watch as he goes to the fire place, taking something off the mantel piece. He comes to a halt in front of me, a smile softening the angles of his perfect face. He holds out his hand, and there, in the middle of his palm is a ring, no the ring. The ruby stone glistens in the light. How the hell did he get it back?

“How?” I stammer.

He cocks an eyebrow. “I have my sources.”

He lifts it by a slim chain, dangling it in front of me. “This isn’t…?” I don’t want to say the words, because if he’s proposing again, I don’t think I can cope.

He shakes his head. “It’s simply a promise. You’re my fucking world, Duchess, and you always will be.”

Oh, my god. How can I refuse that? I can’t and I don’t want to because he’s my world too. He makes me feel safe where no one else can, he makes me whole and, above all, he believes in me. What we have can’t be labelled. I can’t just refuse to have sex with him and pretend that makes us less then what we are. We’re Blake and Rhett, imperfect, tarnished sides of the same coin.

Life is too short to settle for anything less than explosive. Many things in life are mediocre, but love shouldn’t be one of them, and the way Rhett loves me…he could set the world on fire.

I steel myself and gently press my hand to his chest, resting my forehead against his. I can feel his warm breath on my lips, his heavy heartbeats under my palm. “Yes.”

“Yes?”

I press my lips to his, and he cups my nape. “I love you. You’re my addiction.” I smile. He’s my own personal drug, and I want to spend the rest of my life high on him.

He yanks my skirt up, tearing the fabric as he cups my arse and lifts me until I spread my legs either side of his waist. I cup his face as our lips touch, our breaths ragged. “Then shoot up, Duchess.”