Her Valentine Family (3 page)

“You might as well hang it up, Jess,” her mother said, stepping into the room. “We're hopeless and are bound and determined to spoil him rotten.” She smiled. “But that's our job.”

“Yep, that's their job,” Nathan agreed, smiling broadly and showcasing the empty hole where a tiny baby tooth used to be.

Jessica's heart tensed. He was growing up way too fast.

“And I'll catch the bus right out there,” he said, informing MeMaw of the bit of conversation she'd missed earlier. “Until we get our new house. And then I'll ride it from there.”

Jessica had moved in with her folks until she could find a place of her own, and she had been up front with Nathan about that plan. She didn't want him getting too attached to living with his grandparents, and she hadn't wanted them to get too attached to having her and Nathan here either. She was twenty-three and didn't want to mooch off of her parents forever.

However, she had to admit that being with them now and seeing them enjoy having her and Nathan here was very nice.

“I see,” her mother said, sitting on the bed beside her husband. They looked so good together, so content after all of these years, sitting there with Nathan, and Jessica suddenly had a sense of exactly what was missing in her life.

Then Nathan giggled, and she remembered that her life was fine. No, not what she'd planned, but A-OK for now. And she'd seen Nathan's daddy tonight and
also learned that Nathan had a little sister. On Tuesday, she'd talk to Chad, maybe even tell him about their little boy.

Excitement bubbled within her. Excitement…and fear.

God, help me be strong enough to tell him. And God, please, let him understand.

 

Chad Martin woke up bright and early Friday morning. Or to be more precise, he gave up on any hope of a decent night's sleep at around 5:00 a.m. He'd dozed off and on, but whether his eyes were open or closed, his mind wouldn't stop running through the events of last night, from the moment he saw the woman walking across the quad to the moment he realized that Jessica was really back in Claremont.

Really back in his life.

She was as pretty as she was back then—prettier—with silky chocolate hair, dark brown eyes and that cute little nose that wrinkled when she laughed. And when she laughed, her mouth was soft and subtle, easily finding its way into a smile. Jess had a smile that took his breath away. There was something so genuine about it, as though the whole world should look a little brighter when she grinned. It simply made him feel good inside to see that smile.

But it wasn't merely her physical appearance that attracted Chad to Jess so much, though she was the most naturally attractive female he'd ever met. There was a fresh, honest appeal to Jessica Bowman. She was the kind of girl who could not only be your best friend, the one you could open your soul to, but also the kind of girl you could love—for life. He'd sensed that in her when
they were teens, from the time she started coming over to their house, first as Becky's friend. And then, as she grew older, and as she and Chad talked and grew closer, as Chad's first true love.

He followed the strong scent of coffee to the kitchen and was thankful he'd taken the time to set the automatic brew feature the night before. Pretty incredible that he remembered, given how shaken he'd been from Jessica's reappearance into his world. He'd even forgotten the day of the week when he'd asked what time she finished class today. That was one of the things he loved about the community college, the fact that every week was a four-day deal, giving him Fridays to truly enjoy his daughter.

And speaking of his little girl, Lainey would wake up soon, and Chad needed to be ready. She was eighteen months old now, toddling around and talking baby speak and quite a handful.

Chad loved every minute of it.

Grabbing a University of Georgia mug, he filled the cup with coffee, moved to his back window and enjoyed the strong taste against his palette. He thought about Lainey and how much he enjoyed his little girl. And then he remembered Jessica's words.

“I have a son.”

Jessica had a little boy. Chad had been so stunned at the news that he hadn't asked any of the normal questions. Now he wondered how old he was. What was he like? Did he look like Jess? And naturally he wondered who was the little guy's father? And why hadn't Jess married him? He couldn't fathom her having a baby out of marriage, not after the conversations they had back in
high school about that very thing. Particularly that one conversation on the night she left town.

The baby monitor on the kitchen counter crackled as Lainey sighed in her sleep. She was probably getting ready to start stirring, and she'd want her juice as soon as she opened her eyes. Chad took another sip of his coffee, then set the mug on the counter, grabbed her pink Minnie Mouse sippy cup and filled it with apple juice. Next he scanned the kitchen until he spotted her pacifier on the table. He took it to the sink, rinsed it off and then placed it next to the sippy cup.

Fridays were fun days for Chad, days to really take the time to see what Lainey had learned throughout the week, hear whatever new words she was saying and watch her toddle around and explore the world. He was anxious for the weather to get warm enough to take her to Hydrangea Park and feed the ducks. It wouldn't be long, thanks to Alabama's mild winters, and he couldn't wait.

Another soft mumble echoed through the baby monitor, and Chad knew his little girl was starting to rouse. He took another sip of coffee and watched the first rays of sunlight break through the night. The sky immediately took on an array of colors with the brilliant addition. Purples and pinks, oranges and golds.

Chad sipped more coffee and thought how quickly the sun's rays had changed the sky's disposition, shifting it in one broad stroke from dismal gray and black to a kaleidoscope of vivid hues. He'd say the new morning sky looked rather heavenly, like a painting from God.

A frown tugged at his mouth, and he sighed. God had painted his life a bit differently than the one he'd envisioned, the one that included a happy home and a
medical degree. But he was a firm believer that things happen for a reason, for God's reason, and even though he hadn't been on the best of terms with Him for the past few years, Chad was trying to get back on the right track again, slowly but surely. He and Lainey had even made it to a couple of church services, and it didn't feel so awkward, as though everyone was staring at them and feeling pity toward him and his life.

True, it wasn't what he'd planned, but he'd work it out the best way he knew how. And right now, the best way he knew how involved teaching biology at the community college and being with Lainey.

The sun had moved up to a half globe now, a red-orange mass that pressed outward and pushed the black away, changing everything in its path from dark and gloomy to bright and cheery.

This was part of Chad's morning ritual, watching the sun rise from his kitchen window, and he was certain it had probably looked this incredible several other days as well. But today, he saw the image more clearly, and he saw it as a symbol, perhaps a sign from God, that his dark, gloomy life was changing. A ray of sunlight found its way through the darkness last night, when Jessica walked back into his life again, and Chad found, like the sky that he currently watched out his window, that everything around him looked brighter.

A tiny little grunt, followed by the sound of rustling sheets, emitted through the baby monitor told him that Lainey was waking up. He set his coffee mug on the counter and picked up the sippy cup and pacifier. Then he started down the hall.

“Dada,” she said, her tiny voice whimpering.

He grinned. Only eighteen months old and already
she knew she wasn't a morning person. She was like her mother that way. Kate didn't “do” mornings. With Kate, it'd been a bit irritating.

With Lainey, it was cute.

He rounded the corner and walked into her room, where his little lady stood inside of her crib, her small fists clenched tightly around the railing, her big blue eyes staring unblinking at the door and awaiting his arrival, and her blond curls, as always, standing on end, wild and crazy with her adorable bedhead. Dora the Explorer covered the new pink fleece pajamas he'd bought her earlier this week. He'd thought the way the feet were built into the pajamas would keep her toes warm, since she often worked her way out of her tiny socks at night. But right now, she held up one foot as though the feature was more of a nuisance than a benefit.

“Good morning, sunshine,” he said, holding up the juice and pacifier so she could see he'd brought what she wanted and consequently, she wouldn't feel the need to start crying for them. And maybe that'd make her forget about her problem with his choice for her nightwear.

“Duuuce,” she said, and reached for the sippy cup.

Chad obligingly handed it over.

She took a big sip, noisily slurping her little pink lips around the tiny holes in the top of the cup. Then she swallowed, moved the cup away from her mouth and held out her other hand. “Pappy.”

Chad put the pacifier in her hand. She balled her fist around it and gave him her trademark baby-tooth grin.

“Tank oo.”

“You're welcome,” he said, scooping her up and nuzzling the blond fuzzy curls away so he could kiss her cheek and neck.

Lainey ducked her chin to her neck trying to fend off her Daddy's kisses and giggled. “Wuv you.”

“I love you, too,” Chad said. And he did love everything about her—her blond curls, her baby blue eyes, her adorable mouth. He realized, as he often did, that everything about her resembled Kate. There wasn't a trace of Chad's features in this little angel. But resembling Kate physically was as far as it went. Because Lainey's brilliant blue eyes were sweet and innocent, not manipulative and cold. Lainey's smile was real, not fake.

And when Lainey told him she loved him, she meant it.

J
essica wondered if everyone experienced the same mesmerized sensation when they returned to the church of their youth. She'd grown up sitting in the pews within the steepled white building at least three times each week, and then after seventeen years of knowing nothing but this church, she left. Returning, she was welcomed by an abundance of wide smiles and welcoming arms, with everyone admiring her little boy and telling her how nice it was that she'd come back home. And that was before she stepped one foot in the door.

Walking across the parking lot, she was bombarded by old friends. She imagined that this was something similar to what the prodigal son felt when he saw his father running toward him down the road, except it was Brother Henry, her preacher, who ran toward her now. Well, okay, he wasn't running, but he moved faster than she'd ever seen Brother Henry move before.

The preacher's hair had grayed completely in the years since she'd left Claremont, and his face appeared more weathered, with the smile lines bordering his mouth more pronounced than she remembered and additional
crinkle marks at the corners of his eyes. His brows were stark white, drawing attention to the pale blue of those kind eyes.

“Jessica! It's so good to have you back. And this must be Nathan,” he said, leaning down to ruffle Nathan's sandy waves.

“Yes, sir,” Nathan said, giving him a crooked, squinting-in-the-sunlight smile.

“Your grandparents have told me all about you,” Brother Henry said. “They're very proud of you.”

“Yep, they are,” Nathan agreed, which caused a laugh from both Brother Henry and Jessica's parents, following them up the steps.

“So, Nathan,” Brother Henry continued, “has anyone ever told you what your name means in Hebrew? From the Bible? Because there was a Nathan in the Bible, too.”

“Mom told me Nathan was in the Bible,” he said, and Jessica felt a surge of pride that she'd made an impression. “He told King David what was going to happen.” Nathan tilted his head toward his grandfather and said, “That must've been after David cut off that giant's head, huh?”

“Definitely,” her father said, beaming and apparently quite proud that his grandson was so quickly putting his Bible facts together.

“Very good,” Brother Henry said. “Nathan was a prophet, and he did tell King David the things that would happen in the future. Your mommy taught you well. And did she tell you what the name means?”

“No, she didn't,” Jessica said with a grin, “because she didn't know.” She'd merely selected the name because it was the only one in the books of baby names that seemed
to be
right
for her son. Now she wondered exactly why it seemed so right.

“Well, it means ‘God has given,'” Brother Henry said.

Jessica's throat tightened. God
had
given Nathan to her, and even his name was proof of the fact.

“Neat!” Nathan said, then repeated, “God has given. That's my name.”

“That's right,” Brother Henry agreed, still smiling at him. He pulled a peppermint out of his suit pocket and handed it to Nathan. “This is to keep your tummy from growling in church,” he said, then winked. “I'd have one, too, but it's hard for me to preach with candy in my mouth.”

Nathan laughed at that. “Can I have another one for class?”

“Nathan.” Jessica gave Brother Henry an embarrassed shrug.

But Brother Henry tousled his hair again and said, “Tell you what. After church, I'm going to ask you what I talked about. If you can tell me, I'll give you another one.” He nodded toward Jessica's parents. “Maybe I'll have at least one person listening to the sermon that way.”

“Give me a peppermint, and I'll listen, too,” Jessica's father said, which made them all laugh.

They entered the foyer, and Jessica felt the first inkling of curiosity from the other side of the lobby. A couple of the older women were huddled, hands over their mouths and whispering as they glanced at Jessica—and more pointedly at Nathan.

Jessica protectively put her arm around his little shoulders and steered him toward the classroom hall. She'd
known she wouldn't get prodigal son treatment from everyone, but that was okay; even the prodigal son's brother had a hard time with his return.

Class was pretty much status quo for what she remembered, but Brother Henry's church service was much different than the type she recalled from growing up. A lot less fire and brimstone, a lot more grace. Jessica commented on the change to her parents as they walked out of the auditorium.

Her father agreed. “I was wondering if you'd notice. Brother Henry did a summer series on grace a couple of years back, said the more he studied on the subject, the more he thought we'd gone way too long leaving it out of the equation.”

Jess turned to see what her mother thought of the change, but she was completely ignoring their conversation and scanning the congregation, pleasantly visiting in small huddles as they slowly moved toward the back of the building. “Mom, you looking for someone?”

“Yes,” she said, then shook her head. “No, not really. I'd noticed last week that we had some other folks visiting again who'd been away for a while, and I'd hoped they'd be back today.”

“Who?” Jessica asked. Like most people in Claremont, she knew almost everyone in town—or at least knew who their family was.

“Oh, look,” her father said. “Nathan's going for the peppermint.”

They all turned and walked toward Brother Henry, standing at the doorway shaking hands with everyone and preparing to shake Nathan's outstretched hand. But Nathan's palm was turned up, waiting for another piece of candy.

“Please?” he said, his
s
lisping a little due to his missing tooth.

“Hey, we had a deal, remember?” Brother Henry lifted a white brow.

“I remember,” Nathan said. “And I listened to you preaching.”

“Okay, what did I talk about?” He crouched down to Nathan's level.

Jessica was curious as to whether Nathan had actually heard. He'd spent the majority of the service admiring his Superman shoes, which he'd told Jessica were “nice enough to wear with church clothes because they're brand-new.” She'd let him win that one, deciding to choose her battles, even though the colorful tennis shoes didn't exactly go with his khaki pants and striped navy sweater.

“You talked about daddies,” Nathan said matter-of-factly.

Jessica's world seemed to stall for a moment. “Daddies?” she asked, her voice a little raspy at hearing Nathan say the word so sweetly.

Nathan's head bobbed. “Yep, how much daddies love their children and how God loves us the same way. That's what you said.”

Jessica wasn't certain, but she thought Brother Henry's chin wobbled a bit before he worked his mouth back into a smile. “That's exactly right,” he said, then visibly swallowed and handed Nathan the striped candy.

Brother Henry stood from where he'd knelt down to speak to Nathan, and this time she was sure that she saw a bit of moisture in his eyes, which matched the dampness in her own.

“It's good to have both of you here, Jessica,” he said, the warmness in his tone touching her heart.

“It's good to be back.”

She, Nathan and her parents walked quietly toward her father's car, then all piled inside and buckled up for the ride back home for her mother's traditional Sunday pot roast. But food wasn't on Jessica's mind, and she suspected it wasn't on her parents' minds either.

On the contrary, Nathan's words to Brother Henry were resonating through her thoughts, and her son wasn't done discussing the lesson.

“Mommy?”

“Yes.”

“Did you hear him talk about daddies?”

She breathed in deeply, let it out slowly. “I sure did.”

Nathan nodded, and Jessica sighed with relief. Maybe that was it.

And maybe cows would fly. This was Nathan, and he wasn't done figuring everything out yet.

“Mommy?”

She noticed her mother shift uncomfortably in the front seat, place a hand over her mouth and peer out the passenger window and she assumed this conversation was going to be as rough for her parents as it was for her. Or close. “Yes?”

He continued looking out his window as he spoke so Jessica couldn't see his face. And thank goodness, he couldn't see hers, because it was very tough to control her pain at his next words.

“Do all daddies love their kids?”

Have mercy, what would she do now? Did all daddies? If she told him yes, she'd be lying, she knew. Some didn't.
Some weren't good, and that hurt her very soul, but she knew one who would love his son very much, if he knew the truth.

“Your daddy will love you,” she said, and she saw both of her parents straighten in their seats. But she couldn't let him believe, not for one minute, that his father wouldn't love him, wouldn't want him, if he knew about him. She'd told him before that his daddy lived somewhere else and that he'd see him one day. That'd been enough to satisfy his mind, before he was nearly six, and before he'd grown up so much.

That wasn't enough anymore.

“It hasn't worked out yet for your daddy to meet you and love you and be a part of your life,” she said. “But God has a plan, and one day, He will work it out for you to meet your daddy, and it's going to be a great day.” She hoped. And prayed.

Please, God, let it be a great day.

Nathan turned in the seat and his face split into the snaggletoothed grin that she loved and the sweet little dimple in his left cheek reminded her of Chad.

“Will he play baseball with me?”

Jessica blinked through the new moisture around her eyes. “Definitely.”

“And take me to eat ice cream?” The gold flecks in those deep green eyes sparkled with excitement.

“Of course.”

Nathan nodded again, satisfied, then he twisted back toward the window and whispered, “I'm gonna love him.”