Her Valentine Family (12 page)

“A lot happened in the years we were apart,” he said, examining her face as he spoke. “I really don't think you can understand how much this, how much you mean to me unless you know what I went through while we were apart.” He ran his hand through his hair and then glanced at his hand. Shaking his head, he eyed the gold band. “I can't believe I forgot to take it off.” Then he slid the wedding ring from his finger and dropped it in his shirt pocket. “Sorry.”

“It's okay.” It was okay. Jess knew why he wore the ring when he was teaching, since he'd explained that on the first night they ran into each other on campus. But she wasn't certain that he was merely apologizing for the ring. The look on his face said that maybe he was saying he was sorry about whatever he went through while they were apart.

“I need to tell you what all happened. Need to tell you about Kate and about Lainey.” He paused a couple of beats, then said, “If we're going to be together, and I want that more than you can realize, then I don't want there to be anything you don't know.”

Jessica swallowed. God was helping her out by having Chad share his past with Kate. Then she could share her past, too. “I want to tell you, too, about everything that happened to me while we were apart. And about Nathan.”

He nodded. “Let's go to the park. We've got a lot
to talk about, and we can enjoy the Valentine's display while we do.” He smiled. “Sound okay?”

“Yes, that sounds great,” she said. And it did. They would be at the park, decorated for the holiday, in an atmosphere that embodied love and relationships, when she told him about his son. It was more than great.

It was perfect.

Hydrangea Park was only a ten-minute drive from the restaurant, and Jessica saw the pink, red and white illumination well before they reached the entrance of the park. Thousands of tiny lights adorned every tree, bush and fixture that composed the park. The entrance consisted of two mature pecan trees, the branches meeting in the center to form a welcoming arch. But during the Valentine's display, the branches, barren of leaves during the winter, were covered with red lights that dangled in the center to form a heart.

They drove between the trees and parked the car. Jessica didn't make an effort to climb out until Chad opened her door, which caused him to smile. She was glad for that smile. He'd seemed so serious at the restaurant's parking lot when he'd mentioned the years they were apart. Obviously, there was a tremendous amount of pain and hurt in his years.

She was ready to learn what had happened to Chad, and she was ready to tell him the truth about her years away from him as well.

“That gazebo is open,” he said, indicating the white structure, practically glowing with tiny pink lights, near the pond. “Want to go there and talk?”

“Sure,” she said, climbing out of the car, then shivering. A light breeze blew across the pond, and the tem per
ature was dropping in time with the sun dipping behind the mountains.

Chad noticed and leaned in his car to withdraw a navy blazer from the backseat. “It'll be big on you, but it should keep you warm.” He helped her put it on, lifting her loose strands of hair out of the way as he did and sending a frisson through Jessica's senses that had nothing to do with the cold.

He turned her to face him, drew the jacket together and then gently pulled the lapels to slowly bring her face mere inches from his. “You're beautiful,” he whispered.

Then, while Jessica lost herself in the combination of his words and her desire for this incredible man, he eased closer and brushed a feather-soft kiss against her lips. The tender touch echoed through her very being, sending delicate waves of awareness to her soul.

I love you. I've always loved you. I've never stopped loving you. I love you, and I love our son.

The words tumbled over her thoughts, the truth of her feelings, and the yearning for a lifetime of moments like this.

Without saying a word, he took her hand and led her toward the gazebo. A garland of pink roses covered the chains holding a white wooden swing in the center of the circular structure.

They stepped inside, and Jessica was surprised at the instant difference in temperature. Even though the sides were primarily open, with an intricate lattice wall providing the only separation between the interior and outside, the fixture warded off the majority of the breeze. The space was warm and comfortable. Oddly enough, even with several other couples also wandering around
the park to enjoy the romantic display, the gazebo was startlingly private. The perfect place to have an intimate conversation.

For a moment, they sat in silence on the swing. It creaked softly as they moved back and forth, the scent of the pink roses more prominent as the garland shifted with each movement. The air grew thicker around them, as though all of the words defining their years apart joined them in the small space. Everything they needed to say, needed to explain, weighed down upon their souls. Jessica could feel the pressure of this moment and didn't underestimate the importance of telling Chad the truth.

Now that she'd made up her mind to have the conversation, Jessica was eager. She wanted him to know about Nathan, and she wanted him to meet his son. Yes, it would be difficult at first, but she hadn't missed the way Chad had looked at her tonight or the feelings that were right there, so easy to acknowledge with his words and with his touch. He still loved her just as she still loved him. And though he might be disappointed in her for keeping Nathan from him, he would want them all to be together, to be a real family. Jessica was sure he would want that as much as she did.

“Chad, I need to tell you…everything,” she said, her heart racing faster with every word. “About why I left back then and about what happened after I did. I want you to know about Nathan.”

“Jess, wait,” he said. “I've been thinking about this all day, all week, and I definitely want to know why you left, but I'm afraid if I don't say this now I may not ever say it.” He shook his head. “It isn't easy to admit how much I was fooled by my ex. In fact, I've never told anyone the
entire story. But for you to understand what you mean to me—and why you mean so much to me now—I need you to know what happened.”

Not only could Jessica hear the agonized pain in his tone but she could see it in his eyes. What had happened to him to hurt him that much? And she couldn't help but wonder what he meant by saying that knowing what happened would help her understand how much she means to him now. She did want to tell him about her years away. She truly wanted to tell him about Nathan. But she could tell that his truth was also torturing his soul, and he needed to tell her first. “Okay.”

“You said Becky told you that I'd married,” he said.

“She did.” His sister had actually told her a few days before Chad's wedding, when Jess had returned to Claremont to tell him about Nathan. After learning about the impending wedding, she'd returned to Tennessee without telling him anything.

He took a deep breath, eased it out. “It took me a long time to get over you leaving, Jess. I went to Georgia and pretty much got consumed with becoming a doctor. I studied nonstop, got my premed degree in three years and then started at Emory. I didn't date, not once, throughout those first years at Georgia. But after I graduated, and after I moved to Atlanta, I met Kate. She worked at the hospital as an office assistant, and I met her at the corporate picnic. I still remember how interested she was in my plans, how she truly seemed interested in me.”

“Women are naturally interested in you,” Jessica said, smiling. “You just don't tend to notice.”

He smiled at that, and she was glad to get a smile out of him. She could tell this conversation wasn't easy.

“Kate and I dated a year, and during that year, we couldn't see each other enough. I'd been on my own for so long and hadn't even realized how much I missed being with someone, caring for someone…and having someone care for me.”

Jessica swallowed thickly. She'd been the reason he'd been alone and the reason he'd had to miss someone caring for him during that time. She had cared for him, thought of him, each and every day they were apart, particularly when she looked at their son, but he hadn't known.

“I fell for her—” he paused “—fell in love with her, pretty fast, and that December, I asked her to marry me. I was busy in med school, naturally, but she didn't seem to mind. She was also busy, planning the big wedding and the honeymoon. She started making friends with the doctors' wives at the hospital, even though I was still in school. She wanted her place in the medical society to be ready for her when the time came.” He shrugged. “At the time, I thought that was cute.”

Jessica didn't know what to say to that, so she remained silent and let him sit for a moment gathering his thoughts.

“After the wedding, when she didn't have anything to plan, Kate wasn't happy with the long hours I spent in class or studying. I spent every moment I could with her. I loved my wife, and I wanted her to be happy. But she couldn't stand the thought that she was working full-time while I was taking out student loans to get through med school. She said she was working herself to death while I ‘merely went to class.' So I got a job working in a pharmacy on campus.”

“Which meant you had even less time together,” Jessica reasoned.

He nodded. “She'd loved the idea of being a doctor's wife. She just wasn't so crazy about being a med student's wife.” He chuckled, but there was no humor in the sound.

“I'm sorry, Chad,” Jess said, and she slid her hand across the swing to lay her palm on top of his. “That had to be hard.”

He visibly swallowed. “What was hard was receiving a phone call from her best friend, all worked up and in a frenzy because she thought I should know that Kate was pregnant.”

Jess tried to put that together. “Her friend told you that you were having a baby? Kate didn't tell you?”

Chad's head shook slowly. “No, and the only reason I found out from her friend was because Phoebe thought I had a right to know that my—” his voice broke “—that my wife had decided to end her pregnancy and was headed to an abortion clinic.”

Jessica gasped and immediately saw Lainey, her beautiful blue eyes, soft blond curls and sweet, innocent smile. “Oh, Chad!”

His jaw was firm and tense, mouth was a straight line. The ache in his soul was palpable. “I've never driven so fast in my life, trying to get there in time to stop her.”

“But you did stop her,” Jessica whispered, again thinking of adorable little Lainey and the way she smelled like baby shampoo and the way she loved to be read to. And the way she felt, snuggled up close and sleeping in Jessica's arms.

“I begged her, with everyone there watching me cry. I begged her not to give up our child. I begged her not to take that baby away from us, away from me.” His mouth rolled in, and he bit his lip. “She screamed at me
then, said she didn't want the baby and that she no longer wanted me and all of my schooling.”

Jessica shook her head, disbelieving that anyone could be so hateful, so cruel. So willing to end a life. “How did you stop her?”

“I told her nothing mattered, not school or my career or my dreams or anything, as much as Kate and our child. I promised her I'd quit med school and get a job that would put me at home more with her and the baby. I told her I'd teach or something else—anything that would make her happy and make her want the baby.” He paused, swallowed. “And me.”

Jessica moved closer to him on the swing. Her tears burned as they pressed forward and fell onto her skirt. Chad had been through so much and had given up so much for his wife and child. But Jessica knew that he would have done anything,—anything—for his wife and for his child. Especially after growing up the way he did, without his father, and seeing his mother struggle through raising him and Becky. Like he had vowed in high school, he had married for life. For better or worse, Chad had married for life.

Yet he and Kate still divorced. Now Jessica wondered even more…why?

“She told me in that clinic that she didn't want to be a mother, at all,” he said, his voice raspy and raw. “Even though we'd talked about having kids the entire time we were dating, she didn't want to go through having to care for a child. So I promised her I would get up at night, that I'd take care of the baby's needs, that I'd do everything if she wouldn't give up our child. With all of those promises, Kate finally relented and said she would continue the pregnancy. And seven months later, Lainey
was born.” His face lit up when he said his daughter's name. “I was probably stupid for thinking that once Kate saw the baby she'd change.”

“But she didn't.”

He shook his head. “I was thrilled with Lainey, her blue eyes and blond hair. She looked, well, she looked just like Kate. And she was a part of us, a product of the bond we had shared before Kate decided that she didn't want to be a part of ‘us' anymore. I was hoping that Lainey would help Kate see that we were good together and that we'd created something good together.”

“Holding Lainey, seeing Lainey, didn't cause her to bond with her?” Jessica asked and couldn't hide her shock. She had bonded with Lainey in the short time she'd known the adorable little girl. How had the child's own mother not been as drawn to her as everyone else?

“No,” Chad said. “There was no bonding at all. Kate resented the baby and the time she required. She was miserable and didn't mind telling me so, continually. It didn't matter that I took the bulk of caring for the baby or that I took the teaching position at the community college here so that Mom could help out. In fact, Mom came over almost daily so that she could not only help take care of Lainey but also clean the house, cook, everything she could do to help me keep Kate content.”