She cleared her throat. “Are you sure the mama dog isn’t going
to mind our looking at her puppies?”
“No, Missy’s a sweet dog. She loves people. One of many strays
Nolie has rescued. Missy was originally intended to be trained as a service
dog, but she’s turned into a family pet instead.”
“That’s what Nolie does—trains service animals?”
Ryan pushed back the sliding door on the barn, nodding. “She
trains the animals, and she also works with people who have disabilities.
That’s how Gabe met her. He had to get a seizure alert dog after he was hurt in
a fire.”
He said the words so matter-of-factly, but this had to be an
emotional subject for Ryan. His brother and father had both suffered injuries
on the job, but everyone said when it came to fighting fire, Ryan had no fear.
She’d seen that for herself, and she didn’t begin to understand it.
“Hey, Missy.”A black-and-white border collie came to meet them,
her plumed tail waving gently. “I brought someone to see your babies.”
There was a scrabble of feet on the rough-planked barn floor,
and six black-and-white puppies romped toward them. Mandy squealed with delight
and darted past Ryan.
“Puppies,” she said again, reaching out her arms toward them.
Laura’s throat went tight. “That’s the most she’s ever
verbalized in such a short period of time.”
“She’s had a lot of stimulation today,” Ryan said, ruffling a
puppy’s fur. “Maybe it’s good for her.”
There didn’t seem to be any criticism in his words— just a
simple observation. It shouldn’t make her feel guilty, but it did.
“I just want to keep her safe.”
“I know.” He snapped his fingers to the dog. “Come on, Missy.
“Let’s take your puppies out in the sunshine.”
The dog seemed to understand him. She ambled through the barn
door and onto the grass, the puppies tumbling behind her. Mandy trotted along,
beaming, and dropped to the grass, hauling the nearest puppy into her lap.
Laura opened her mouth to protest the probable grass stains on
Mandy’s red-and-white dress, but closed it again. Her daughter’s happiness was
too important to let a few grass stains get in the way.
Ryan carried what looked like a saddle blanket from the barn and
spread it on the grass. “I’m not guaranteeing how clean this thing is, but have
a seat if you’re willing to risk it.”
“It’s fine.” She sat down, the soft skirt she’d worn for church
folding around her.
Ryan collapsed on the blanket next to her, smiling as one of the
puppies climbed onto his lap. “Cute little things, aren’t they?” He tickled
under its chin. “Nolie’s trying to find homes for them, you know. They’re about
ready to leave their mama.”
“Oh, no. The last thing I need is a puppy to take care of.”
He plopped the puppy in her lap, and her hands curved around it
instinctively.
“It’d make a good watch dog.”
She lifted her eyebrows, distracted by the puppy licking her
fingers. “It’s the size of your hand. I don’t think it would provide much
protection.”
“He’ll grow.” He ruffled the puppy’s fur, his fingers brushing
hers. “He’s already big enough to make noise if he hears something unusual.
That could be a good thing.”
“The lights are protection enough.”
Mandy tried to pick up two puppies at once and then, giggling,
toppled toward Ryan. He caught her easily, his big hands gentle, and gave her a
hug. They both looked at her, both smiling.
Laura’s heart lurched. Anyone looking at the three of them might
see think they were seeing a happy family. It almost felt that way.
It shouldn’t. Something approaching panic brushed her heart.
That was a dangerous thing to think, because she might actually start to
believe it was possible.
Laura leaned on the paddock fence next to Siobhan later that
afternoon, watching as Ryan led the donkey at a gentle walk with two giggling
girls on its back. Mandy had changed into a pair of jeans and a T-shirt
belonging to Ryan’s niece, Shawna, and somehow that act had made the two girls
inseparable.
Ryan waved at her. “You’re next,” he said.
“I’m too big to ride a donkey. Thanks anyway.”
“That won’t be the end of it,” Siobhan said. “I’ve never seen
anyone like Ryan for persuading people to do things they don’t want to do.”
“He’s not getting me on a donkey, no matter how persuasive he
is.” Although Siobhan was probably right about Ryan’s skills—he’d talked Mandy
onto the donkey in spite of her tendency to cling to his neck.
Siobhan smiled. “He’s so good with children. He should have a
houseful of his own.”
She wasn’t going to touch that comment with a ten-foot pole. “I
appreciate the effort he’s making with Mandy. She’s enjoying herself so much.”
Mandy looked like any little girl, enjoying a donkey ride with a
friend. Her arms were around Shawna’s waist, and they wore identical grins.
Laura’s heart twisted. That was what she wanted for her
child—that normalcy that others took for granted.
“She certainly got along very well in church school today,”
Siobhan said. “Have you thought about putting her in pre-school a few hours a
week? The one where our grandkids go is excellent.”
She wasn’t going to expose Mandy to the rough and tumble of
pre-school, no matter how excellent.
“Not just now. She’s probably going to have her cochlear implant
in the next month or so, and I’d like to get her through that first.”
“I understand. That’s a big enough thing to deal with now.”
Siobhan’s hand closed warmly over hers. “I’m praying for her. And for you.”
Her throat tightened. There was only one response to that.
“Thank you.”
Ryan led the donkey to the fence next to them. “Okay, girls,
that’s it for you. It’s Laura’s turn to ride the donkey now.”
“Not a chance,” she said quickly. “I’m not dressed for riding.”
“Excuses, excuses.” He patted the donkey’s back. “All you have
to do is sit there.”
Siobhan laughed. “I’ll leave you to it. Come on, girls, let’s go
get some lemonade and cookies.” She held out her hands, and the two girls
scampered under the fence and grabbed them.
Mandy went off without a backward glance. She seemed to know
instinctively that Siobhan was someone she could trust, and to understand her
without the need for signing.
“Come on.” Ryan caught her hand. “I’ll lead the donkey, I
promise.”
“Listen, just because you’re a big brave fireman doesn’t mean
other people have your courage. I don’t want to ride him. It’s too far off the
ground.”
Something flickered in Ryan’s eyes. “It doesn’t take courage to
do something you’re not afraid of.”
For a moment she could only stare at him. “But— how could you
not be afraid of a fire?” She relived, only too vividly, the terror she’d felt
when she’d woken to the blare of the smoke alarm.
He shrugged, his gaze fixed on their hands, clasped atop the
rough rail of the fence. “I don’t know. Adrenaline takes over, I guess. I’ve
always been that way about any physical challenge—give me a cliff to climb or a
roof to jump off, and I’m your man.”
Ryan was giving her a window into his soul that she suspected he
didn’t open for many people.
“Is that a good thing?”
“I used to think so. Now, I’m not so sure.”
She’d thought she didn’t understand what made him tick. Now he
was showing her. Trusting her with it.
“What changed that for you?” she asked carefully.
His fingers moved restlessly against hers. “You know my father
had a heart attack on the job.”
She nodded. Had that been what made him realize his own
mortality?
“You probably don’t know it was my fault.” His voice sounded
even, but she could hear the pain in it. That pain grasped her heart and
wouldn’t let go.
“How could it be? Ryan—”
“I was first in. I outran my support. Got trapped. My father was
trying to get to me when he collapsed.”
She clasped his hand, immeasurably moved by his confiding in
her, longing to help and not sure how to do it. “I’m sure he didn’t blame you.”
“I blamed myself. Maybe I shouldn’t be in a job where I can
endanger other people.”
Saying the right thing seemed impossible. “Is that the real
reason why you want to join the arson team?”
He shrugged. “At least I don’t put someone else in danger when
I’m using my brains.” His smile flickered. “Not that North thinks I’m overly
endowed in that department.”
“He looks like the kind of person who doesn’t think highly of
anyone.” This seemed to be her opportunity to ask about the investigation, but
she hesitated.
“North is chronically suspicious, that’s for sure. He even—”
He stopped, but she thought she knew what he’d been going to
say.
“He’s suspicious of me. Is that what you mean?”
Ryan seemed to draw back, even though he didn’t move. “There’s
no reason to suspect you,” he said.
A chill went down her spine at his careful choice of words. “But
he does. Why on earth would he think that? Did he find something in the
investigation that points to me?”
Ryan’s eyes met hers. “Don’t ask me that, Laura. I can’t talk to
you about the investigation.”
There was a finality to his tone that shook her—a cool
professionalism that seemed to turn him from her friend into someone else
entirely. The man who’d confided in her was gone, replaced by someone she
didn’t know.
“I see.” She pulled her hand away from his.
“I’m sorry.” He had the grace to look miserable about it. “It’s
my job.”
“I know.” She tried to muster a smile, but she couldn’t quite
manage.
It was his job. She’d seen that single-minded determination in
him before, when he’d disregarded her protests and snatched Mandy from her when
he’d rescued them from the fire.
She’d learned more than she’d expected about Ryan today, but she
wasn’t sure it was what she’d wanted to know. For all his friendliness and
charm, all the caring he’d shown her and Mandy, Ryan would put his job before
other people.
Before her.
H
e just
plain wasn’t good at this personal relationship stuff, Ryan decided. He helped
Jerry White unload the plastering supplies in front of Laura’s house a couple
of nights after the Sunday picnic that had started so well and ended so badly.
“Good thing you showed up to lend a hand, buddy,” Jerry
grumbled. “I was already up to my eyeballs without this extra job.”
“You’re just lucky anyone trusts you enough to do their
plastering. If they knew you like I do—”
Jerry slammed the door of the panel truck and elbowed him. “So,
is this woman the latest girlfriend?”
“Just an old friend. That’s all.” At least that’s what he
intended. After the way they’d parted on Sunday, maybe even friendship wasn’t
on Laura’s agenda.
What did Laura expect—that he’d destroy his chances at the job
he wanted just to make sure she felt better? It wasn’t as if knowing what
Garrett North was up to would actually allay her fears.
As far as he could tell, the man suspected anyone and everyone,
including Laura. The only thing he knew for sure was that a bulldog like North
wouldn’t give up until he found out who’d started that fire.
Nor would he. He headed for Laura’s front door in Jerry’s wake.
That was his job, and he’d do it, no matter who got in the way.
Still, coming to help with the plastering was his way of trying
to make peace with Laura. He wouldn’t give up on their friendship as easily as
she seemed prepared to.
But he wouldn’t let their relationship get any closer than
friendship. He was just plain no good at the emotional stuff. He’d treat Laura
the way he would any other friend, like Jerry, for instance. He grinned. Laura,
with her slim figure, creamy skin and that riot of dark hair falling to her
shoulders, wasn’t remotely like Jerry.
Laura swung the door open and gave him a rather wary look.
“Ryan.” She smiled at Jerry and held out her hand. “And you must be Jerry.
Thank you so much for coming. You’re a real lifesaver.”
Jerry stumbled over his own feet. “Sure, no problem. Glad to do
it.”
Right. Ryan gave his erstwhile buddy a shove. “Let’s get moving,
Jerry. This stuff is heavy.”
Laura’s eyebrows lifted. “Are you planning to help with the
plastering?”
“Sure thing.” He scanned the jeans and sweatshirt she wore.
“You?”
“Since Jerry’s fitting my job in as a favor, of course I’m going
to help.” She turned and started up the stairs. “Come this way.”
Jerry doing it as a favor? Only because he’d pushed him into it.
He shot Jerry a disgusted look, and Jerry grinned back, clearly
not a bit sorry. They jostled each other as they started up the stairs.
They came out into the big open room at the top of the stairs.
Laura had put all the lights on, making the space even more desolate.
“I know it doesn’t look like much.” She seemed to be reading
their thoughts. “But once the plaster is repaired and I can paint the walls, it
will make a huge difference. The woodwork is in good shape, and so is that
beautiful pressed-tin ceiling.”
Jerry was looking around with a professional eye. “This is
really not too bad. With the three of us working, we ought to make good
headway.” He gave Laura a smile that set Ryan’s teeth on edge.
“What about this wall?” He tapped the nearby partition that
split the room awkwardly. “Didn’t you tell me it’s coming down?”
“Right.” Laura sketched an opening with her hand. “My buyer wants
this space open and light. She plans to open a vintage clothing store in the
downstairs, and this will be her workroom.”
“Well, let’s give her what she wants,” Jerry said. “Ryan, how
about if you haul some water.”
He might have known Jerry would give him the donkey work. Still,
if carrying water got the room finished and Jerry out of here, that would be
worth it. He grabbed a couple of buckets and headed for the sink.
Some of his irritation ebbed away as they worked.
No matter
how much of a clown Jerry had been in high school, he seemed to know his stuff.
He and Laura were soon well-covered in plaster as they tried to master getting
the stuff onto the wall instead of themselves. Jerry just kept whistling away,
the smooth strokes of his trowel turning dismal into pristine.
“Okay, buddy, I have to admit it.” Ryan stopped for a moment’s
rest, admiring the swath of smooth plaster. “You actually do know what you’re
doing.”
“Hey, my dad insisted I had to live up to his standards. Just
like you and your dad.”
“Maybe so.” His father wasn’t totally reconciled to the idea of
the arson squad, but at least he wasn’t openly hostile to it.
It’s not as if Ryan wants to become a plumber,
Seth had pointed out when things got noisy.
“Yeah, who would believe when we were back in high school that
we’d actually turn into responsible citizens?” Jerry grinned at Laura. “That
guy was the worst.” He jerked his head toward Ryan. “Talk about taking stupid
chances!”
“I seem to remember that about him.” If Laura was thinking about
what he’d been foolish enough to confide in her, she didn’t show it. “But he
always seemed to land on his feet, like a cat with nine lives.”
“Would you mind not talking about me as if I weren’t here?” Ryan
asked plaintively. “I do have feelings, you know.”
Jerry hooted at that. “Put your feelings on hold and get back to
work, buddy. We’ve got a wall to finish.”
Surprisingly enough, they did finish. Laura looked about ready
to collapse by the time the final section was done, and Ryan wasn’t far behind.
Jerry, on the other hand, looked perfectly ready to go on and plaster another
acre or two of wall. Still whistling, he picked up two buckets and headed for
the stairs.
When Laura started to pick up an armload of equipment to carry
down, Ryan caught her arm. Her skin warmed under his fingers, and he had to
remind himself again. A friend. Just a friend.
“Forget about that stuff. Jerry and I will load everything. I’m
sure you want to check on Mandy and sink into a hot tub.”
Laura raised those dark level brows. “Are you implying I’m
dirty?”
“Only about as bad as I am.” He grinned. “Go on. We’ll take care
of the clean-up.”
He thought she’d argue, but she just nodded.
He turned toward the steps and then stopped when she touched his
arm in turn.
“Do you have a minute? There’s something I want to ask you.”
More questions about the investigation? If so, she was going to
be angry with him all over again.
“Sure. What?”
“Will you
forgive me?”
That startled him. “For what?”
“You know.” Her dark eyes were very serious. “I was wrong to try
and pump you about the case. And wrong to get upset when you couldn’t answer
me. You’re just doing your job.”
The tension inside him eased, making him realize how much the
breach between them had bothered him. “Forget it. Look, we both know how
awkward this situation is. If I could tell you anything, I would. You know
that.”
“Yes.” There was something reserved about her smile that he
didn’t quite understand. “You and your family have been good friends.”
Now it was his turn to raise his eyebrows. “You make that sound
like it’s in the past. We plan to go on being good friends, if you’ll let us.”
“Of course.”
“In that case, I’ll be back Thursday to help with the painting.
It’s my day off.”
For an instant he thought she’d make an excuse to put him off.
Then she nodded.
She was agreeing, wasn’t she? Still, he could sense something
held back.
He hesitated. He could press her. But if he did, he’d be
violating his own promise to himself. Be a friend, but stay out of emotional
territory.
That was what was best for both of them. He knew that. So why
did it feel so wrong to accept her agreement at face value and turn away?
Stomach churning, Laura turned the ignition one more time, to be
greeted by a click and relentless silence. Why now, of all times?
A tap on the car window made her turn. Ryan stood there, looking
ready to work in faded jeans and a polo shirt. She opened the door.
“Your battery is dead.”
“Thanks, but I already figured that out.” She slid out, fumbling
in her bag for her cell phone. “I’ll have to call a cab. I’m sorry I didn’t let
you know not to come, but something came up at the last minute.”
He opened the rear door, helping Mandy out and responding to her
smile and hug.
“You don’t have to call a cab. You can take my car.” He fished
the keys from his pocket and held them out to her.
It would be yet another favor she owed him. “Then you’ll be
stuck here.”
“I can get on with the painting.”
The man had an answer for everything. “I don’t think—” She
stopped, realizing that Mandy was tugging at her sleeve. “What is it, honey?”
Mandy’s hands flew, and then she attached herself to Ryan’s pant
leg.
He grinned. “Even I could figure that one out. Sure, I’ll be
glad to drive you.”
She looked, exasperated, from one smiling face to the other.
“You don’t even know where we’re going.”
“Doesn’t matter. I have all day.” He took Mandy’s hand and led
her to his car, parked behind hers. “Do you want me to move her booster seat?”
She glanced at her watch. She’d wasted too much time already,
trying to get her bucket of bolts to cooperate. “I’ll get it.”
In the few minutes it took to move the booster seat and get
Mandy settled, she’d given herself a short lecture on attitude. She should be
glad Ryan had shown up. He was just being a friend, and she had too few of
those to scare one away.
“Thanks.” She slid into the passenger seat of his car and
buckled her seat belt. “That clunker of mine has a way of dying at the worst
times.”
“It’s no problem.” Ryan started the car. “Where are we going?”
“The hospital. Dr. Marsh’s office called, and they had a
cancellation. He can see Mandy this morning.”
“That
is
good
news.” He glanced at the back seat. Mandy was engrossed in the book she’d
brought. The puppy book, of course. She’d been obsessed with it since that
visit to the farm. “Does she understand what’s going on?”
“A little. I’ve tried to explain the whole thing to her, but
since her hearing has gotten so much worse, I’m afraid she’s forgotten what
it’s like to hear much of anything.”
“Why does she wear the hearing aids, then? I mean, if they don’t
really help?”
“Her therapist recommended using them, just in case she’s
picking up some sounds. And it keeps her used to having something on her ear,
so that it’ll be easier when she has the implant.”
He nodded. “I remember seeing a picture of a child wearing one.
The part that shows is the microphone, right?”
“How did you know that?” Most people didn’t.
“Looked it up on the Internet.” He grinned. “It’s amazing what
you can find. I actually now know enough not to embarrass myself when you talk
about the implant.”
For a moment she couldn’t speak. Ryan barely knew them, and he’d
gone to the trouble of researching Mandy’s problems. It contrasted so sharply
with Jason’s reaction when he’d learned that their daughter was deaf.
“That was thoughtful of you.” She had to clear her throat
because her voice had gone husky.
“I’m interested. So, if all goes well today, do you think
they’ll get the procedure on the calendar soon?”
“I hope so.” A shiver went down her spine.
Soon.
She had to get the house finished,
because if she didn’t succeed with the sale—
No, she wasn’t going to think that. It would work out. It had
to.