Heaven Can't Wait (5 page)

Until tonight. Maybe Randy and Chris felt guilty for leaving Chuck alone so much, because they were going to watch some ballgame in their room and bring fried chicken. Kevin would rather have stitches without anesthetic than hang around for that, and he was pretty sure Randy and Chris felt the same.

At least Kevin could use the coupons for free coffee that had been spamming his inbox for the past week. They were like a plague.

He stood in line, coupon in hand, but he was only minimally present. The scary thing was he was starting to fall for Chuck. Fall for him in a can’t-get-this-smile-off-my-face, spend-hours-daydreaming-about-our-first-kiss, I’m-in-so-much-trouble kind of way. Kevin was confused though. He wasn’t exactly experienced at romance and sex. He’d shared hand jobs and blowjobs a few times with exactly one guy in his small hometown. But he could swear he was getting signals from Chuck. Yes, the guy looked and acted totally straight, and he never made a move or anything, at least not since that one gentle thumb swipe on the bed when Kevin had fallen asleep (aka, the thumb swipe that launched a thousand fantasies). But Kevin was sure he sometimes saw something in Chuck’s eyes—a spark, a heat of desire so dense Kevin could practically feel the touch of it on his skin. It was always gone before he could be sure. And sometimes Chuck’s deep voice would go low and sultry when they were talking, each in his own bed. It sounded intimate in a way that made Kevin instantly hard and made him want to say,
Oh please, Chuck, just take me right now!

God! Kevin was probably just seeing what he wanted to see, what he
desperately
wanted to see. Chuck couldn’t possibly like him like that. He was just bored being stuck in the room and Kevin was the only live human being in the vicinity, the only toy in the toy box, as it were. Chuck would leave him behind as soon as he was better and could run off again with his real friends. Kevin couldn’t get his hopes up, couldn’t be lulled into doing something that would show Chuck how he felt and make the situation ten times more awkward.

He really didn’t want to be the queer who had come on to his straight roommate and then had to live with the shame of that till school ended.

Kevin got his coffee, grabbed a table, and opened up his laptop. He paused. The way the overhead lights reflected off the black surface of the laptop screen made it practically a mirror. Kevin stared at his face critically. Did Chuck think he was okay looking? Kevin hadn’t had the money or the time to get his hair cut lately and his white-blond hair was long and soft around his face. He bit his lips, making them red. Fortunately, his skin was clearing up, thanks to Clearly Beautiful
.
He looked pretty good—for him. He looked decent if you liked thin, effeminate, prettyish gay twinks.

Kevin sighed.

“Is this the little shit?”

The words were low and dangerous—and close. Kevin looked up to see a guy standing at his table, a big guy. He didn’t look friendly.

“Pardon?” Kevin said in his best polite voice.

“Come on, Simon. It’s no big deal.”

Kevin noticed the tech guy he’d seen there before, John. He looked worried.

“Hey,” Kevin said to John. “Is something wrong?”

“Yeah, pretty boy. Something’s very fucking wrong.” Simon grabbed Kevin’s T-shirt and pulled him upright with seemingly no effort. The look on his face was murderous, and Kevin suddenly realized the situation was bad, really bad.

He felt a wave of fear. “I don’t understand.”

“Simon, leave it alone! I told you, I’ll just tell him no. Jesus Christ, you don’t have to go all caveman!” This was John. Yet Kevin, whose eyes darted at him pleadingly, didn’t think John looked angry. In fact, he seemed flattered.

“I don’t…. I didn’t do anything,” Kevin tried, unable to grasp exactly what was going on. Sure, that one day his pen had rolled over to John’s table and they’d exchange a few words, but seriously? He was going to get his ass kicked for that?

“Give me your phone.” Simon tossed the order over his shoulder to John.

John dug a phone out of his pocket and handed it to Simon with a roll of his eyes. He gave Kevin an apologetic look.

Simon held it up. On the screen was a message.
I really think UR hot. Meet me at the coffee shop. U can b my cream. Kevin.

Kevin’s mouth dropped open in horror. “That… that’s disgusting!”

“No shit, pencil neck! In case it’s not clear, John is
my
boyfriend, and the only cream you’ll be getting tonight or any other night in this place is me creamin’ your ass.”

“But I didn’t send it. Wait! I can prove it.”

Kevin was practically on his tiptoes, being held up by his shirt in Simon’s beefy hands. Simon narrowed his eyes as Kevin reached into the pocket of his hoodie and pulled out his phone. “I swear… see?”

He punched the phone
on
and then went to
messages
.

And there, on the screen, was the exact text to John, word for word. Kevin gaped at it.
Why
?
How?
He didn’t even know John’s phone number. It just wasn’t possible.

Kevin’s mouth fell open, but nothing came out. Simon growled and lifted Kevin’s toes off the ground. He pushed Kevin, sending him crashing into a nearby table and chairs. He struck it hard, knocking everything over, and found himself on his back, an embarrassingly girly cry of pain escaping before he could stop it.

“Jesus, Simon! You didn’t have to do that!” John sounded truly alarmed now.

“Get out!” a man in an apron shouted, coming over from behind the counter. “Out before I call the cops!”

Simon and John took off.

Kevin let his head fall back to the floor. His jaw stung badly where it had struck a chair, and his back was killing him.

“You okay, kid?” the man asked, bending down and looking concerned. “Should I call an ambulance? The police?”

“No,” Kevin said hurriedly, thinking of the ambulance bill. “Please don’t. I’m fine.”

He wasn’t though. He wasn’t fine at all. But he was able to make his way slowly to his feet. Nothing felt broken but everything hurt.

“You’re bleeding,” the man said, motioning to Kevin’s face. “Let me get some ice.”

“No, I’m okay.” Kevin swallowed down latent tears of fear and stress. His hands were shaking as he put his laptop back in his bag. “Thanks, though.”

Kevin limped out the door. He noticed blood dripping onto the linoleum as he pushed his way out into the street.

K
EVIN
WAS
still bleeding when he got to his room. He thought about stopping in the bathroom to clean up, but his back was killing him. All he wanted to do was take some aspirin and lie down in the dark and maybe give in to the shaking that his body wanted to do.

He’d never been physically attacked before. The pain hurt, but the shock of it was worse, the violence of it. He felt violated, and he didn’t even know why it had happened.

Why was that message sent from my phone?
The only person who ever got close to his phone was Chuck, and Chuck didn’t know anything about John. Had Kevin done it and forgotten? Was he losing his mind?

As he opened the door to his room, Kevin realized his mistake. He’d totally forgotten that Randy and Chris were there. They had chairs pulled up to Kevin’s bed and were playing cards on a TV tray, beer bottles and all, while the drone of a football game played in the background.

As one, they turned to look at Kevin.

Fuck.
Not now. He just wanted to lie down.

“Hey—what happened, Kevin? You’re bleeding.” Chuck sounded concerned.

“I—I’ll, uh….” He couldn’t think.

“Yeah, what happened, Kevin?” Randy huffed. “You get hit by a gay pride truck?”

Chris laughed as though that was hilarious. “Word of advice. If you’re going to suck dick, it goes
inside
your mouth!”

Randy howled with laughter.

Kevin stood frozen in the doorway, his eyes growing hot.
Do not cry. Not in front of them, not now.
But it was the last straw. He couldn’t take one more shitty little shove by life. Not one more.

He turned to go, feeling dead inside.

“Kevin, stop right there!” Chuck yelled, in a voice that Patton himself wouldn’t disobey. Kevin stopped. He didn’t turn around.

“Randy, Chris? I am gonna kick your collective ass when I get out of this fucking cast!” Chuck sounded furious.

“What crawled up your butt, dude?” Randy sounded nervous. Kevin couldn’t resist turning around to see his expression. Randy blinked at Chuck like he’d lost his mind.

“You did, dickhead! Kevin has been dragging my books back from class, getting me food, doing all sorts of shit for the past two weeks while you guys were too busy to give a rat’s ass. You come over here, you treat him with respect. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
T
as in, I will fucking tie your testicles to your tonsils if you don’t! Do I make myself clear, or do I need to draw you a picture?”

Wow. Kevin had never heard Chuck talk like that. He was a big guy but normally quiet and a bit withdrawn, even around his friends. But now his jaw was set and his eyes flashed. He looked like a bulldog about to latch on and
render.

Randy and Chris looked at each other, dumbfounded.

“Well?” Chuck demanded. “What’s it gonna be?”

Randy folded first. He shot Kevin an apologetic look. “Sorry, Kevin. Hey, we were just messin’ with ya.”

Chris sat there. His shoulder suddenly jerked forward in a weird sort of shrug and Chris looked around in confusion. “Yeah, um, sorry,” Chris said in a rush. “It’s nice of you to help Chuck out like that. Sorry you got hurt.”

Kevin swallowed. He didn’t say anything. But when he relaxed his clenched jaw, it stung like a bitch. He wiped it with his hand and it came away bright red.

“Fuck,” Chuck said, his anger deflating. “Kevin, you need to take care of that and lie down. Come on, guys. Party’s over.”

Randy and Chris didn’t argue. You could practically smell the awkward in the room. They gathered up their stuff and left with muttered good-byes.

“Thanks,” Kevin whispered as the door shut behind them. He kept his gaze on the floor, not wanting Chuck to see any dampness that might be lingering in his eyes.

“Oh, hell, Kevin.” Chuck sighed. “I’m really sorry I didn’t do that earlier with those guys. And Brian too. Hey, my mom sent a first aid kit. It’s in my bottom drawer. Bring it over here with that towel and let me help.”

Kevin silently retrieved the first aid kit and sat on Chuck’s bed. He kept his eyes on his own lap. Chuck carefully wiped at the cut on Kevin’s jaw.

“So tell me what happened.” Chuck still sounded a little pissed.

“I’m not sure. This guy at the coffee shop. He, um, thought I was flirting with his boyfriend and he pushed me. I fell over a table.”

Chuck’s hand stilled on Kevin’s jaw and he tensed. Kevin slowly raised his eyes. Chuck was staring at him intently.

“He
pushed
you?”

“It’s okay, Chuck. It’s over.”

Chuck’s nostrils flared. His mouth drew into a serious line. “If I didn’t have this goddamn cast….”

“I don’t wanna make a big deal out of it. Please.”

“Where else are you hurt?” Chuck said in a rough voice. He resumed wiping Kevin’s jaw with light touches. He opened a packet of antiseptic.

“My back,” Kevin answered quietly.

Chuck dabbed the antiseptic along Kevin’s jaw. “It’s a bad scrape, but it’s not deep. Don’t think you need stitches.”

“Good.”

“Lemme see your back.”

Kevin hesitated, but Chuck was being so gentle. Everything inside Kevin wanted to capitulate. He
wanted
to take his shirt off. He wanted Chuck’s hands on him anywhere he could get them. He needed to feel safe. So he stripped his T-shirt and hoodie off over his head, wincing at the pain in his lower back. It felt like it was right over his left kidney.

“God.” Chuck breathed out on a heavy sigh. His breath was warm on Kevin’s shoulder and made Kevin shudder. “It’s already turning purple. Does it feel like your spine was hurt at all? Is it sore inside? Maybe you should go to the hospital.” Chuck’s fingers gently stroked one side of the sore area.

“No… it’s just a bruise. I walked all the way home. I’m fine.”

Kevin closed his eyes so he could focus on the feeling of Chuck’s thumb stroking his skin. And suddenly Kevin was hard and aroused, despite the pain in his jaw and back, despite what had been, until ten minutes ago, one of the worst nights of his life. He looked over his shoulder to meet Chuck’s eyes. There they were, sitting side by side on the bed, Kevin’s shirt off, and Chuck stroking his back. It was…. God, the sheer
heat
in Chuck’s eyes. Kevin couldn’t possibly be reading this wrong.

He felt his own eyes go half-lidded and he gave a little moan of surrender. He gazed at Chuck, unable to guard himself or look away.

Want you. Want you so bad.

Chuck reached up his other hand, slowly, and cupped the unhurt side of Kevin’s jaw. He frowned, breathing hard. He looked like a man wrestling with an angel. “Go to bed, Kevin,” Chuck said, sounding wrecked.

Kevin slowly dropped his eyes and stood up. He took a couple of aspirin at his desk and crawled into bed without looking at Chuck again.

Chuck turned off the light.

B
RIAN
WAS
freaking out. What the ever-loving hell?

Had he just seen what he thought he’d seen? Chuck…. Chuck had totally been into that almost-kiss. He’d turned Kevin away, yeah, but he hadn’t wanted to. There was no missing the massive boner in his sweats.

And God, wasn’t being dead punishment enough? Brian didn’t need to see Chuck get a stiffy over Kevin.

And then there was the way Chuck had stared at Kevin’s back from across the room after he’d gone to bed. Chuck had lain in the dark, his face wracked with indecision. Everything about him screamed,
temptation
!