“Yes.”
“You are telling me you cannot accept Sheldon?”
Kristen had not meant to let her parents know of her decision so soon, but she nodded her head. “I love him, but in the same way I love my brothers.”
“Then what you want is to wed a stranger?”
“
You
wed a stranger, Mother.”
“But your father and I knew each other a long while before we finally admitted our love and wed.”
“I do not think it will take me so long to know when I am in love.”
Brenna sighed. “Aye, I have armed you well with the knowledge I did not have myself when I first met your father. Very well, love, I will speak to Garrick tonight, but do not hope for him to change his mind. I am of a like mind in not wanting you to go off with your brother.”
“But, Mother—”
“Let me finish. If Selig returns in time, I believe your father can be persuaded to take you south to look for a husband.”
“And if summer is nearly over when he returns?”
“Then it will wait until spring. If I am to lose you to a man farther south, then I would rather it wait until spring…unless you are eager to have a man now?”
Kristen shook her head. This was not exactly what she had in mind. She wanted to be away now, away from the threat Dirk posed, but she couldn’t tell her mother about that, either, for Brenna was likely to go after Dirk herself.
“But I will be a year older,” Kristen pointed out, hoping that would sway her mother.
Brenna smiled at her daughter, for Kristen did not realize how truly desirable she was. “Your age will not matter, love, believe me. They will fight over you when they know you are looking for a husband, just as they have done here. Another year will make no difference.”
Kristen said no more about it. They sat down before the open door that let in the warm breeze and the only daylight. The large stone house built by her great-grandfather had no windows, in order to keep out the bitter cold of winter. Kristen was helping Brenna work a large tapestry, for her mother had no patience to do it alone.
Impulsively, Kristen asked, “What would you do, Mother, if you wanted to sail on that ship?”
Brenna laughed, thinking the matter settled. “I would steal away on it and hide in the cargo well for a day or so, until it would be far away from here.”
Kristen’s eyes rounded incredulously. “Would you really?”
“Nay, love, I am only teasing. Why would I want to sail without your father?”
T
he seed had been planted and Kristen couldn’t shake it. Her mother had only spoken in jest about stowing away on the ship, but there was that small grain of truth in what she said that couldn’t be ignored. Brenna was bold enough to do it, for she had done wilder things before. Hadn’t she rounded the fjord in the dead of winter to get back to Garrick after she had been stolen away from him before they were married? Kristen could be that bold, too. She could keep her freedom and avoid Dirk in the same stroke, and it would be an adventure. It was the thought of adventure that really sparked her fancy.
There was only one thing wrong with the idea. She had been forbidden to go, and there would be hell to pay when she returned. But in her excitement, Kristen conveniently refused to think of that, or let Tyra harp on it when she told her friend what she was going to do. Tyra had been amazed, but Tyra had lost her love of adventure when she outgrew childhood. Not so Kristen.
The girls were in Kristen’s chamber upstairs, the only place that offered privacy from the farewell feast in progress below. The crew would be sleeping in the hall tonight. Tyra had come with her father to bid her brother Thorolf good-bye, for he had been here the last few days helping with the preparations. Kristen was glad he was sailing, for they were close friends. She had even tried to teach Thorolf some of the languages she had learned when they were younger, though he was not an apt
pupil. Thorolf would probably be the only one who would champion Kristen when Selig and her three cousins who were sailing began upbraiding her for her foolishness.
Selig would indeed be angry, as well as her cousins Olaf, Hakon, and Ohthere, the oldest of the three. But as long as they were far enough from land when she was discovered, making it unfeasible to bring her back, then they would all relent after they vented their anger on her. Verbal abuse was all she would receive, for not one of them would lay a hand on her, knowing she was not one to take a beating without fighting back.
“Why, Kristen?” Tyra asked as soon as the plans were revealed to her. “Your mother is going to cry. Your father is going to—” She paused to shiver. “I dread to think what he will do.”
Kristen grinned at the smaller girl. “He will not do anything until I get back. And my mother never cries. She will not worry about me as long as you be sure and tell her where I am. She will suspect what I have done when she cannot find me, but she will still worry unless she knows for certain. That is why I have confided in you.”
“I wish you had confided in someone else. Your father will be furious.”
“But not at you, Tyra. And you must promise me you will tell them tomorrow that I sailed with Selig, before they begin to worry.”
“I will do it, Kristen, but I still do not understand why you want to defy them. You have never wanted to sail with your brother before.”
“Of course I have wanted to, I just never thought to ask before. And as for why, this will be my last chance to sail with Selig. Next year my father will take me south to find a husband—if I do not find one for myself in Hedeby,” she added with a chuckle.
“You were serious about looking for a husband away from here?” Tyra asked in wonder.
“You thought I was jesting?”
“Of course I did. It would mean living away from here, away from your parents.”
“Regardless of whom I marry, I would still be moving out of this house.”
“But if you married Sheldon, you would still be close to home.”
“But not deeply in love, Tyra. I would rather be deeply in love even if I have to live in the Far East. But you forget my father owns two long ships and one smaller one. You think they would not visit me, no matter how far away I move?”
“Nay, of course they will. I did indeed forget about that.”
“Good. So stop trying to change my mind about going, for you cannot. I am going to have a wonderful time, Tyra, and not worry about the consequences until we return. You do not know what exciting places the market towns are, for you have never been. I was young when I went before, interested only in the goods for sale, not the men. But men from all over the world go to these towns. I will find me one I can love and bring him home with me, and
that
will temper my father’s anger.”
“If you say so.” Tyra nodded skeptically.
“I do. Now, come along, or all the best parts of the meat will be gone.”
They entered the noisy hall and presented a pretty picture for the rowdy men, Tyra small and delicate, standing no higher than Kristen’s shoulder, and Kristen looking exceptionally lovely in a blue silk gown that fit snugly to her slim, though generously curved length, with heavy gold bracelets adorning her bare arms.
Sheldon whacked Kristen’s behind as she passed him, and she turned around to stick her tongue out at him. He
made to chase after her for her pertness, but she scurried away from him. She wished Sheldon were sailing, too, but he and his brothers were helping their father, Perrin, add a few rooms to their house this summer, as well as seeing to their crops.
Her cousin Ohthere detained her next, grabbing her waist to lift her off the ground, then bringing her down for a wet kiss. “That was for luck, child,” he told her drunkenly.
Kristen laughed at him. He persisted in calling her
child
even though she no longer was one, just because he was ten years older than she. His father was one of her great-uncles. He and his brothers lived with Kristen’s uncle Hugh now. Her first cousin Athol would not be sailing, for he was Hugh’s only child, and her uncle persisted in keeping him close to home.
“You need luck just to trade in the East?” she demanded of Ohthere.
“A Viking always needs luck when he sails, no matter the destination.” He winked at her after imparting that bit of knowledge.
Kristen shook her head at him. He was already well into his cups and the night was young. He would be bleary-eyed when he set to at the oars in the morning. She would pity him while she was safely tucked into the cargo well.
“Let her go, Ohthere, before she perishes of hunger,” someone yelled.
He did, but not before he had whacked her backside too. Kristen made a face at him, then went on her way to the long table where her family was seated. She had never been able to figure out what it was about her rump that invited such ill use, but it seemed she ended up with bruises for a week after every feast. She never minded, though, for it was done in the spirit of fun.
She rounded the table, but got no farther than her
father’s chair, for his arm shot out and drew her onto his lap. “Are you angry with me, Kris?”
He was frowning at her, but it was a concerned frown. Her mother had already talked to him, and he had once again said no to her sailing without him. Aqua eyes met those of the same color and she smiled, putting her arms around his neck.
“When have I ever been angry at you?”
“Many’s the time I can remember, and all when you did not get your way.”
Kristen giggled. “Those times do not count.”
“You do understand why you cannot go with Selig?” he asked gently.
“Yea, I know why you do not want me to.” She sighed. “Sometimes I wish I were your son.” At that he threw back his head with a hearty laugh. She scowled at him. “I do not see what is so funny in that.”
“You are more like your mother than you know, Kris,” he told her. “For half her life, she tried very hard to be a son. I am just thankful I have a daughter, and one as lovely as you.”
“Then you would forgive me if I…if I did something you might not approve of?”
He grinned at her. “What kind of question is that? Have you done something?”
“Nay.” She could answer truthfully for the moment.
“Ah, this is a ‘suppose,’ then? Then I suppose I could forgive you for just about anything—within reason,” he added with a look that was half stern, half amused.
She leaned forward and kissed him. “I love you,” she said softly, and for that she got a tight squeeze that forced the breath from her and prompted her to cry, “Father!”
He pushed her off his lap with a pat and the order, “Get yourself something to eat before there is nothing
left.” His voice was rough, but his expression was full of love.
Kristen took her place at the bench between her mother and Selig, who promptly filled a tankard of foaming mead for her. “You are not going to sulk, are you, Kris?” he asked her. “I do not need sulking to remember through the whole voyage.”
Kristen smiled at the way he set out to then fill a plate for her, for he rarely served her at table. “Feeling sorry for me, are you, Selig?”
Selig grunted at that. “As if you would let anyone feel sorry for you.”
“Nay, I would not, so do not do so. And the most I will sulk is to say good-bye to you tonight, so I will not have to watch you sail away without me in the morning.”
“Shame on you, Kristen,” Brenna chided her. “If you wanted him to feel guilty about leaving you behind, you just succeeded.”
“Nonsense.” Kristen smiled impishly at Selig, but said to her mother, “I will not even miss him.”
Selig gave her a sour look for that unsisterly sentiment and turned to say something to Athol, who sat on his other side. Kristen sighed, for Selig didn’t know yet how true her words would be, although he might remember when he found her sailing with him.
Brenna mistook her sigh. “Are you really this unhappy with your father’s decision?”
“It would have been an exciting adventure before I marry, Mother,” Kristen replied truthfully. “You had adventures before you married, did you not?”
“Aye, and dangerous ones, too.”
“But a trading voyage is not dangerous. And Father did say I am very like you.”
“Yea, I heard him.” Brenna grinned. “And he was right, you know. I did try very hard to be the son my
father never had. But your father has three fine sons and delights in his only daughter. Do not wish to be anything but what you are, love.”
“It was only the adventure I wished for,” Kristen admitted.
“Then wish for it no more, for it does come to you when you want it not at all.”
“As yours did?”
“I do not regret the adventure that brought me here, but I did at the time. And you will have your journey south eventually, though your father does not know it yet,” Brenna confided in a whisper. “I will tell him you do not want Sheldon after the house is quiet again, for it will be a disappointment to him. He and Perrin were so looking forward to that match.”
“I am sorry, Mother.”
“Do not be, love. We want you to be happy, and if you cannot be with Sheldon, then that is that. We will find you a man you can love.”
If I do not find him first
, Kristen thought as she leaned closer to kiss her mother good-bye as she had her father, hoping they would both understand and forgive her for what she was going to do. “I love you, Mother.”
I
t was the storm that gave Kristen away, and it was not even a bad storm, at least not yet. But as soon as the ship had started riding the bucking waves, she started retching. A fine sailor she made. She had forgotten it had been this way the last time she sailed. The least disturbance to the sea, and she could not hold on to the contents of her stomach.
Someone had heard her retching and had opened the hatch to the cargo well. After one look at her, the sailor had slammed the hatch back down. She did not even see who it was, nor did she care at the moment, for the pitching of the ship grew steadily worse.
She had been so fortunate until now. She had managed to sneak out to her brothers’ rooms behind the stable and borrow a set of Thorall’s clothes to wear for the voyage, though she brought along some of her own gowns to wear when they reached the trading towns. Getting into the cargo well had been the easiest part, for only one man had been left to watch the ship, and though he sat near the cargo well, he had nodded off to sleep. Kristen, quick and nimble despite her height, had seized the opportunity. And the cargo well had kept her quite comfortable even if it was pitch-dark inside. It was piled high with soft furs to hide behind and make her a nice bed.