Heart Song (The Erotic Rockstar Series) (7 page)

He is lying in the middle of the bed, full
y dressed. I know he had just came home and dropped right down onto the bed. I walk over and stare down at him, he has a black eye. With a sigh, I stroke a piece of dirty blonde hair out of his eyes and lean down to kiss his cheek. He grumbles, but doesn’t wake. I look around the room, Annabelle was right, I am the only one that can fix him and that is because I know him better than anyone.

First things first, I need to find his stash. I think long and hard about where Travis would hide something like that. It wouldn’t be in an easy place, but he would have it here. I close my eyes and go back to when we were kids, and we used to hide things so our parents couldn’t find them. I smile at the memory.

“Mischief, hurry.” Trav calls.

I run over with my piggy bank. We sneak into my room and lock the door.

“When we run away, we need as much money as we can get.”

I am only six and Travis is twelve, but we know what we want.

“Trav, are we going to hide all my money?”

“Yeah Mischief, because we are going to New York.”

“New York?” I cry. “What about Momma?”

“We will
visit; don’t you want to come away with me Mischief?”

“Yes, but I don’t want to go without her.”

He picks me up and carries me to the bed.

“We are going to start a band, and you are going to be my groupie.”

“What’s a groupie?”

He laughs. “I will explain it all later, come on.”

He kneels down under the bed and lifts a floor board. I stare at the wood, shocked that it moved like that.

“How did you do that?”

He grins up at me.

“I made it, cool hey? No one will ever find it.”

He drops the money in and presses the wood closed, and it sits flat.

“That’s cool.” I smile.

“I know!”

I drop to my knees and feel around under the bed. When I feel the loose board, I pull it quietly open and stare down inside. Pills, meth, I can see it all. I feel my stomach turn. I don’t know how to get rid of this sort of
stuff; I don’t even want to touch it. Travis stirs and I quickly pull out the entire contents and shove them into my bag. I stand and quietly rush out of the room and downstairs.

I run next door and into the house. Chief and Jasmine are sitting in the kitchen talking about something in the newspaper. Chief looks up when I rush in and I feel my own eyes darting around, like I am smuggling something illegal. Wait, I am.

“Mischief, what you lookin like that for?”

“Can we talk a minute?”

He stands and grips my elbow, leading me out.

“What are you acting crazy for?”

I open my bag and show him, he curses and yanks it closed.

“What the fuck are you doing running around with that sort of shit for?”

“It’s Trav’s, I took it.”

“What?” He yells.

“Shhh! I want to help him; I need you to get rid of this. Can you?”

“Give it to me, go on hurry. Don’t tell him I have got it.”

I quickly pile the drugs into Chief’s hand and he disappears upstairs for a long moment. When he comes back down, he looks as paranoid as I did.

“You be darn careful, keep that gun. A man coming off those
sorts of drugs will do whatever he can to get them.”

“I can handle
Trav; you are next door if I need. I have to go.”

I rush out the door and back over to Trav’s house. I hear him screaming and bellowing, with a deep breath, I step inside. He is in the kitchen, ripping through the drawers and tossing bits of paper and cutlery on the ground.

“Trav?”

He turns and stares at me, his eyes are crazed.

“What did you do?” He roars.

“I took them, they’re
gone.”

“Fucking H
ell! What is wrong with you?” He snarls, storming over to me.

“Do you want me Travis
?”

“
Don’t fucking start that shit now, I need to find those pills.”

“ANSWER ME!” I scream.

“You know I fucking want you.”

“Then you have to stop.”

“I will,” He whispers, stroking my cheek. “Just as soon as my shows are over.”

“Well it’s too late, they are gone.”

He goes from calm to raging again in seconds. I stand my ground.

“Fucking hell, get them back, where did you take them?”

“I flushed them.”

Suddenly I am against the
wall; his hand is around my throat. I struggle, unable to breathe. His fingers are tight and he is panting, his eyes are crazed. I can’t see even a speck of Travis in the grey depths. Then, he is being reefed off me and tossed to the ground; Chief grips his throat and snarls at him.

“
If you ever fucking touch my daughter again, I will slit your damned throat.”

Travis seems to snap out of his haze, he blinks a few times and then stares at me.

“Mischief…oh God…baby, I am so sorry.”

“You need help.” I whisper.

He nods frantically. “Yes.”

“I am going to help you Trav.”

Chief grips my arm. “This ain’t a good idea.”

“I have to
Daddy, I love him…wouldn’t you do the same if this was Momma?”

His eyes are pained, but he lets me go.

“I hope you know what you’re doing.”

So did
I.

TRAVIS

It fucking hurts, I can’t breathe. I can hear voices; I don’t know whose they are. I don’t know anything right now except I need it, I want it. I am so desperate for those drugs, so desperate to feel ok again. She didn’t know what she was doing when she took them away from me, they are the only reason I get out of bed each day, the only reason I keep going. Everything broke when she left, everything.

I open my eyes and groan, my head is thumping and my heart is beating so frantically I can see my own chest moving. Where is she? Where did she go? Seeing her face each time I open my eyes, seems to make it just a little better. I croak out her name and there she is, looking down at me with
those beautiful grey eyes. Her dark hair falls in locks over her shoulders and she strokes the sweat from my brow.

“Hey, it’s ok; you are going to be ok.” She soothes, in her soft, beautiful voice.

“Mischief, it fucking hurts.”

“I know honey, I know. It will get better.”

“Why do you do this to me?”

“Because I care about you Trav, because I want you to feel better.”

“Why did you leave me?”

She swallows and her eyes glass over.

“I am sorry, please, just let me help you now.”

“Hurt you, I’m sorry.” I croak.

“No baby, it’s ok, it’s all ok.”

“You are my girl Mischief, forever.”

She smiles down at me, but I can see how tired she is. Even after all I have done, she is still here by my bedside. I reach up and stroke her cheek and she grips my hand, pressing it close and closing her eyes. I feel my vision blur a little, my head is thumping. I want so much to focus on her and only her, but all I can feel right now is pain, my entire body just hurts.

VIOLET

“Mischief, it hurts!” Travis bellows from his room.

I am downstairs, trying to fit in a glass of water. It is
day ten and I couldn’t have even come close to preparing myself for what it would be like. You just can’t understand how terrifying drugs really are until someone is coming down from them. The first day he was ok, and I let myself hope that it would be easy. I was dreaming. The second day came and with it came spewing, screaming, punching holes in walls and insane rambling.

Day three and four, he shivered in a cold sweat in bed all day. He yelled and screamed, gripping the sheets so hard he tore holes in them. He didn’t eat, or drink and I had to work around the clock to try and keep him hydrated. He begged, pleaded, screamed and yelled at me for more drugs. We made it through. Day five and six he slept a lot, but I didn’t
, afraid as soon as I closed my eyes he would sneak out.

Day seven and eight were
the worst, he screamed out for them all day. I answered agent’s calls, work calls, fan calls and tried to get everyone to understand he is ill and can’t come to the shows. There has been hate mail, death threats, you name it. Harley, Marcus and Greg have been amazing, bringing me food and supplies. I lean back against the bench, I haven’t slept more than a few hours for ten days and I am finding it hard to stay awake.

The past two days have been
better; he is in pain now, almost like his body is finally going back to normal. It hurts when he drinks and when he eats. He sweats and shivers, but he isn’t craving the drugs so badly now. I sip a glass of water and close my eyes a moment, trying to gather myself. I knew it would be hard and I would do it all over again for him. I will do anything to see Travis back again, anything.

“PLEASE!” He screams.

I swallow the water and run up the stairs, he is on the bed again, staring at me with those crazed grey eyes. He is shivering, but sweat courses down his face. His eyes are darting around, and I know his body is trying to detox itself. I walk over and kneel in front of him, in all this, he has screamed, yelled and gone crazy but he hasn’t laid another hand on me.

“Hey, now come on, it’s ok. You can do it, you have come this far.”

“I’m going fucking crazy, fucking crazy. It hurts, everything hurts!”

“You are going to be ok.”

I pick up a damp towel and I dab it over his sweaty face. I stare at his eyes, and for the first time I can see just a touch of Travis back in them. The dark rings under his eyes are slowly fading and he is getting a touch of color in his cheeks. His body is bulking up quickly and he just looks healthier.

“Why Mischief, why did you do this to me?”

He asks me this every day and I answer the same way.

“Because I love you rockstar, I would do anything for you.”

And he answers in the same way.

“Love you too, fucking love you too.”

I sit with him, wiping his face and soothing him until he falls asleep. I turn out the lights and walk downstairs, Chief is standing in the kitchen. When he sees me, he shakes his head.

“Fuck it Mischief, you can’t do this. Have you seen yourself?”

“He is getting better Daddy, he really is.”

“And you are drowning yourself. Where is he?”

“Sleeping.”

“Goo
d, go and shower, eat and get some sleep.”

“I can’t, if he wakes…”

“I won’t let him out of this house. I am not giving you a choice, get to fucking sleep before I knock you out and make you sleep.”

I smile and he grins back.

“Thanks, really…”

“Go on, shower.”

“Yeah, I got it.”

I turn to see Reagan walking in with a tray full of fresh
lasagna, my stomach rumbles and she laughs.

“I knew you would love it.”

I smile and feel my lip tremble slightly.

“Aw hell, don’t go crying on me girl, breaking me apart.” Chief mutters.

Reagan puts the tray down and walks over, pulling me into her arms.

“You are doing an amazing
thing; he will love you so much more for it.”

“It hurts to see him like this…”

“Love hurts honey; it’s the way it is.”

“
Thank you, I know I have said it but thank you.”

She kisses my cheek and pulls back.

“Always and forever, you know that.”

I squeeze her again, then let go. Chief hugs me for long
moments and I sit and eat some lasagna, then I head off to the shower and enjoy the hot water soaking my tired body. By the time I hit the bed sheets, I drop out and for the first time in two years, I don’t dream.

CHAPTER
NINE

When I wake, my body is throbbing. I feel as though I have been hit by a truck. I don’t know how long I have slept or what the time is. Glancing out the window, I see its dark out. Figuring I got a solid few hours, I get up and stretch.
God I feel like I haven’t moved for a week. I walk out of the spare room and into the lounge. Chief is here, and Reagan is sitting at the table playing cards with Harley.

“Hey.” I whisper.

They all look up and smile.

“Well there you are!” Reagan grins.

“How long was I out?”

“About twenty hours.”

I gasp. “What?”

“You needed it.”

“Travis?” I panic.

“Go and see for yourself.”

I run up the stairs and into his room, and my world stops. He is sitting by the window in a pair of old, faded jeans. He is without a shirt and his body ripples and pulls as he strums on a guitar and sings softly. I feel my insides cave and my legs become wobbly, he looks…normal. I make a strangled sound and he turns, setting the guitar down. He looks at me and his gaze meets mine, and for the first time since I have been back, I see Travis. Tears thunder down my cheeks.