Heart Song (The Erotic Rockstar Series) (3 page)

We hug again and she stands to get some coffee. I walk over to the kitchen, and slide my bottom onto the counter.

“So, you are going to hate me for this but I really need someone to come to Harley’s show
tonight.”

I frown. “You mean Trav’s show.”

She smiles sheepishly. “Ok, you figured that out. Please come, I hate going alone.”

“I don’t know…”

“Please Vi? I really would appreciate it.”

I sigh, and lean back. “Ok, because I love you so much and have missed you like crazy.”

She claps her hands.

“We are going to have a blast.”

“I don’t know about that.”

We talk for three more hours and she tells me about her and Harley
, and how well they have been getting along. I am thrilled for her, he is a good guy and she loves him. I tell her I am going back to get my things, and that I will be back tonight and we can go to the show. I don’t tell her I feel sick inside knowing we are going to that show…hopefully we can just stand back and Trav won’t see me. Hopefully.

When I get back to Chief’s house, he and Jasmine are in the kitchen cutting up something for dinner. They look happy, laughing and joking together. I know it’s childish, believe me I do, but I feel insanely jealous. I throw my keys on the bench and turn around, Chief calls out my name and I stop. I close my eyes a
moment, then turn back to face him.

“How did you go?”

“I am moving to Reagan’s tonight.” I say, my voice hard.

“Already?
Kid, I just got you back.” He says, walking over and standing in front of me.

“Doesn’t look like you need me
.”

“No need to be a bitch.” Jasmine snaps.

I spin back around but am caught by the waist, Chief yanks me back.

“Let me go Chief.”

“Come on and settle down Mischief, you can’t be trying to fig
ht her at every chance you get. What’s going on? Talk to me.”

“
Just let me go, for fucks sakes, just let me fucking go!” I scream.

I shove him back and rush up the stairs.
When I get into my room, I fall to my knees. I wrap my arms around myself and I cry, for everything I have lost, and everything I haven’t. I need to move past this, need to let it all go. Chief opens the door to see me on the floor hugging myself. He drops to his knees and takes my face in his hands.

“What has happened to you Mischief?”

I close my eyes and grit my teeth, feral tears slide down my cheeks and over Chief’s hands. He yanks me to his chest and settles down onto the floor, holding me until I am out of sobs, I just sit there heaving. He strokes my hair, and whispers soothing words over and over.

“Come on now, it’s going
to be alright.”

“I am all screwed up.” I whisper.

“Nah, you aren’t. You just need a little time.”

“And a lot of alcohol.”

He snorts a laugh. “There’s my girl.”

“I am sorry, I don’t mean to be rude or
horrible to you or her, but she just pushes my buttons.”

He sighs and leans back, looking down at me.

“I know she does, and I have tried and tried to get her to stop. I had to threaten her tonight and tell her if she didn’t stop I would kick her out.”

“Did that hurt you?” I whisper.

“Yeah Mischief, it did. It ain’t her fault she is the way she is, and she is my daughter.”

“And me?”

He sits thinking for a long moment, then stands up and lifts his shirt, showing me a new tattoo of my name and Jasmine’s name on his chest. Mine is covering his heart.

“You see
this; this is on my heart for a reason. You are my girl, my number one baby no matter what. That doesn’t mean I don’t love her, because I do but you Mischief, you are always going to be special to me. You are my number one girl, you know that don’t ya Mischief?”

I smile up at him, loving those words.

“I know that Chief, I’ve always known that.”

“Don’t go pushing your old man away like that
again; you are breaking my heart kid.”

I nod. “I was jealous.”

He looks hard at me.

“Oh?”

“I came in and I saw you two laughing, it just hurt. I have missed you Daddy, and my life has been difficult over the past two years.”

“I heard G
ran died.”

“Yeah,
Mom and I looked after her. I didn’t have friends, I didn’t go out, I just spent all my time helping Mom take care of Gran.”

“And
Mom? Is she…ok?”

“No, she isn’t. She was so messed up when I got there, my problems only added to it. She was scarred from
Demon, I was scarred from you and Trav. Together, we were a mess. Poor Gran, she was sick and she lived through constant screaming each night.”

“You two fought?”

“No Daddy,” I whisper. “It was nightmares.”

He flinches and closes his eyes.

“She dreams of Demon, I dream of Jeremy.”

“Every night kid?”

“Every long, horrible night.”

He strokes my cheek.

“I know what Jeremy did; Trav was all fucked up over it too. I know he shot himself right near you, kid, I don’t know what to say to make that better.”

“Nothing can make that better
Dad, nothing.”

He nods and looks away.

“I can’t make that better, but I can tell you that I am sorry Mischief, real damn sorry. I didn’t tell you about Jasmine because I didn’t know how and…look there are no excuses but I am sorry.”

I nod, biting my lip. “It’s ok, I am past it.”

“She might be a real bitch to you right now, but I can tell you this, that girl is real lonely and she could use a big sister.”

I swallow.

“I don’t share well Chief, I never have.”

He grins, but
it’s pained.

“No, but can you try and share this one with me kid?”

I nod; I would do anything to feel better with my family again.

“Anything for you old man.”

He grins for real now and chucks me under the chin.

“There’s my girl. Come down and have dinner with us before you go, please?”

“Alright, I will.”

He smiles and walks out, leaving me to my packing. When I am done, I go and have dinner with them.
Surprisingly, it is quite pleasant and Jasmine actually makes small talk with me. Granted, it isn’t deep conversations, but it is pleasant and Chief is smiling by the end of the night, and that, makes my heart feel just a touch better.

CHAPTER
FOUR

The show is crowded; women are all dressed and screaming for the band to come out. The Red Phoenix is the most popular band around, even two years on. My heart is clenching and my stomach is turning so much I consider going and throwing up just to make it feel better. Seeing Trav again, I don’t know how that will feel. I don’t even know if I want to see him yet.

Reagan is beside me, holding my hand. She is beaming and staring at the stage, I can see she is so in love. She is proud, happy and that makes me happy, for her. When the lights dim and
the stage becomes a rainbow of colors, I swallow rapidly. I can’t do this, not now. Reagan squeezes my hand tighter, as if she can read my mind. I close my eyes and take a few deep breaths. Supporting Reagan, stay back, he won’t see you.

“Can ya’ll give a loud scream, for the Red Phoenix!” A man yells over the loud speaker.

The crowd goes crazy and the music begins pounding. I watch Harley and Marcus come out first, and I beam. Reagan yells out and jumps up and down, Harley spots her and gives her a wink, and then his eyes fall on me and widen. He shakes his head quickly, and goes to his drums and begins playing loudly. Then they call out Travis and the women scream, cell phones light up as they record him coming out.

Then there he is;
my whole world slows for a moment as I take him in. The years have changed him. His blonde hair is a touch lighter and a touch longer; it is messy and very rock looking. His face is still the same gorgeous picture it always was. His body, oh his body, seems to have filled out more in the past two years. His chest is huge and so toned his black shirt stretches tightly across it.

“Oh…my…
God.” I choke.

“He looks good right?” Reagan whispers.

“I can’t…do this…”

“If you run, he will notice you
. Just stay until he goes back, then you can go.”

“I can’t…Reagan…it hurts.”

Travis starts singing and my knees go weak. His voice, oh God his voice. I had made a point of not listening to the radio or his music in the past two years. Hearing it now tears into my heart in a way that has me gripping my chest and panting. He belts out his song “Lovers unbound.” And I crumble. Angry tears slide down my cheeks, and I begin backing up, that is when his eyes fall on me.

He stops singing, just like that. His eyes
are burning into mine and so many unspoken words pass between us. It is then I also notice the dark shadows under his eyes, and the fact that his cheeks look a little sunken. He narrows his eyes, and I continue backing up. The fans are screaming, wondering why he stopped singing. Harley walks over and grips the microphone.

“Sorry all, our boy here isn’t feeling too well tonight. We will be back in five.”

That is when I turn and run. I bolt out the door and shove through the crowd of people waiting to get in. I am just hitting the sidewalk when someone grips my arm and swings me around.

“Travis, oh my
God, it’s Travis!” Women scream.

“Can I have your number?”

“Fuck me Travis.”

I can’t hear anything over their obsessive screaming, but I can see, and that is enough. Travis is holding onto me, panting. His eyes are bloodshot and he looks drained. Travis always looked radiant, beautiful and
irresistible but right now he truly does look like the life has been sucked out of him. I open my mouth to speak, but he cuts me off.

“What the fuck are you doing here?”

Ouch, didn’t expect that one.

“I…I…came to see Reagan.”

“Well go back to where you fucking came from.” He snarls.

“I can’t do that.” I cry.

“Why not?”

“Because I live here…”

“What?” He growls, clenching his fists.

“I wanted to come back and…”

“And what?” He roars, onlookers are having a great time watching our show. “And pick up the pieces you left behind? Fuck off Violet, go home.”

“No, that isn’t what I came here for.”

“Then what did you come here for?”

“I don’t have time to talk about this with you Travis. I can’t do this now.”

“You can’t do this now? When can you do it Violet, when you fucking feel like it? I waited two fucking years for you, and you gave me NOTHING!” He is panting now, and he is scaring me. “And now you think you can pick and choose when we talk about this. No, guess what? You don’t get to run from this again. I have gone over this in my head for years, what I would say when I saw you again and right now all I can think of is fuck you.”

I stare up at him, feeling tears well in my eyes.

“That’s right,” He rasps. “Fuck you; you deserve nothing more than that right now. You left and never gave me a chance to explain, you never even had the decency to break it off with me.  You are so selfish. Don’t come back here and think things will be better when YOU decide to make them better. You made the choice when you ran, you broke me Violet.”

He turns and storms
off, leaving me heaving and panting as I digest his words. That is not how I expected things to go, not in my wildest dreams. I made a mistake, a mistake that not only cost me the love of my life, but my best friend too.

“Are you ok?” Reagan asks, coming up behind me.

“I don’t know…I didn’t expect that to happen.”

She sighs and takes my hand, leading me to a nearby bench.

“He is hurt, angry and depressed. He went downhill when you left.”

“Tell me Reagan, so I understand. Tell me what happened?”

She sighs.

“I remember seeing him the first week after you left, he was drunk. I tried to talk with him, tried to help him see that you were hurting but he wouldn’t hear me out. He was so hurt, so broken. He smashed his bike, his car, and his guitars. He and Chief got into brawls, he didn’t see his daughter and even when he did it was brief because Anna didn’t trust him.”

“All because of me?”

“It wasn’t just you honey, you can’t go taking all the blame.”

“But…I never let him explain.”

“No, maybe not but he could have found you too, if he really wanted to.”