Authors: Russ Watts
“It looks quiet.” Jonas turned off the engine and waited. “The door’s open which makes getting in easier. What do you think? We could scope it out, and if it’s a go, we could bring the vehicles right up to that delivery bay. No one would even know we’re here.”
“Well, I would feel happier if we assessed the security situation first. Someone should go in there,” said Erik, unbuckling his seatbelt. “I’m happy to go, but I need someone to watch my back.”
“If I’m going to spend the night here, I want to know nothing’s going to go
bump
in the night. I am
so
coming with you,” said Quinn.
“Me too,” said Jonas.
“No,” said Erik firmly as he opened his door. “You stay here. If there’s any trouble you need to get your wife out of here, and let Gabe know too. Anyone but Quinn or me come out, get the hell out of here. It’ll be faster if there’s just the two of us anyway.”
Jonas opened his mouth to protest, but Erik gave him a glare, and he knew there was no point arguing. It did make sense. As Erik and Quinn jumped out of the cab, Jonas felt beneath his seat for his axe. He knew it was there, but he couldn’t help it. He had to touch it, to feel it, to truly know he wasn’t defenseless. The firmness of it made him feel better. It made no sense, he knew that, but logic went out of the window the day the dead started walking.
“Terry, you mind running back to Gabe and letting him know what’s happening?” asked Jonas.
“Sure. Honk if anything happens.” Terry got out, leaving Jonas alone in the car with Dakota.
“How’re you feeling, honey?” Jonas turned around in his seat so he could see her. He expected her to brush him off or to ignore him, but she actually looked directly at him and reached for his hand.
She stroked his hand and spoke in a low voice. “I’ve felt better. I suppose the stress isn’t good for the baby, but it’s hard to shrug it off. I keep feeling sick, and all I can think about is how this is affecting her.”
“Her?”
“Well, I don’t know.” Dakota smiled. “It’s just a feeling.”
Jonas looked at his wife, feeling more proud of her then than he ever had before. “I love you, Dakota. I’m going to sort this out. Get everything sorted out so we can be safe, once and for all. It doesn’t matter to me if it’s a boy or a girl, as long as it’s safe. I promise we’ll get through this. I’m going to do whatever it takes to make sure of that, you know that, don’t you?”
“Hm.” Dakota sighed. “Jonas, I apologize if I’m a little distant, but I’ve a lot on my mind at the moment.”
“I know, what with the baby, and…”
“No, just shut up for a minute will you? It’s not just the baby. I mean, I’m worried about it, but we’ve got a long time to figure out how we’re going to manage living with a child to look after. I’m worried about you too. The things you do, the way you are, the things you’ve done; you can’t do it again, Jonas. You can’t kill someone and just
decide
to take their life away.” Dakota didn’t speak accusingly or angrily, but softly, as if chiding a child for sneaking an extra biscuit from the meal table. “Jonas, I want you to promise me that you’ll never do that again. Ever. There’s no going back from that. Despite all this shit around us, we have to be better than that. When Tyler told me what you did to Cliff…”
“I get it, I do. I’m not going to go into what went on in that garage, but I hear you, Dakota.” Jonas knew that explaining it to her was pointless. She had her views, and she wasn’t about to change them.
“Killing zombies is one thing. Cliff was
alive
. He still had something to offer, and whatever he did, you took away any chance he had at redemption. You shouldn’t have done it. I can’t reconcile what you did with the man I married.”
“I’m not sure I can either. But I can’t undo it. I did what I thought was right at the time. I can assure you it wasn’t easy, and I won’t be doing anything like it again. I was out there, not in control, trying to deal with too much. I know I was acting like an idiot, but…what happened at the garage really got to me. Seeing what happened to Anna and Mary. What happened to Cliff was…”
“Promise me,” said Dakota. “Promise me you won’t do anything like that again.”
“I do. I promise.”
The door next to Dakota swung open, and Terry jumped inside. “Gabe’s happy enough here. Mara seemed a bit sniffy, but I suppose she’s used to living in luxury after being in that golf club place for so long. The others are just happy to get out of the van. I’ve gotta say, it still stinks a bit in there.”
They waited in the increasing darkness, listening to the patter of the rain on the roof of the SUV. Jonas found it soothing, although he couldn’t fully relax until Erik was back and they were all tucked up safely for the night inside. It took a minute more before he saw movement. Quinn came running out of the open office door and ran up to them. Jonas opened the door for her, and she jumped in, beaming.
“We’re good to go,” she said. “The place is deserted. We couldn’t get any power on, so we’ll park up close by. There’s plenty of room inside, and a vending machine still stocked up with crap. If anyone’s got a hankering for a Hershey’s, you’re in luck.”
“Pregnant ladies first,” said Dakota.
Jonas moved the SUV closer to the office door and let the others go inside. He waited for Gabe to pull up alongside, and then the rest went inside carrying a box of food and drink each.
“Thanks,” said Jonas. He and Gabe were the last ones outside, and he held out his hand to shake. “We sure appreciate your help, Gabe. I’m not sure that anyone else would’ve welcomed us as much as you and Mara have. We owe you. I just wanted you to know that.” He noticed Gabe hesitated in taking his hand, but when he did it was a firm handshake. The man was probably a little intimidated by them. Seven people had just turned up on his doorstep demanding sanctuary, and less than a day later they were back on the road. It was perfectly understandable that he might keep his guard up for a while. Jonas would’ve done exactly the same thing if the roles were reversed. He remembered the house in Jeffersontown they had been staying in, and when Randall and Quinn had showed up. It had taken a few days for them to be accepted into the group. They had surrendered their weapons and been so weak that they couldn’t possibly have posed any danger. Yet living on edge all the time kept you on your toes, and Jonas wasn’t about to accept anyone into their lives easily. Trust had to be won these days, and blind naiveté led you down a dangerous path. Gabe was right to be careful. He had a wife to think about.
“Don’t mention it,” said Javier. “What did I tell you? I’m all sweetness and light.”
Jonas picked up a pile of blankets from the campervan, and brushed past Mara coming back out as he entered the building. “Don’t be too long,” said Jonas, “we’ll want to close up soon. Best not to stay outside too long in case we draw attention to ourselves.”
“Thanks, Hamsikker,” said Rose. She watched Jonas disappear inside and turned to face Javier.
“Let’s leave them. Let’s take the van, and get out of here. I’m sick of them already. I thought I could do this, but their whining is driving me insane. What happened to you and me? What happened to you, Javier? The girl, Freya, she’s cool. I
love
how freaking quiet she is. We could keep her, but the rest of them? Let’s just go, or get rid of the others now, please? Especially that cop and his goody-two-shoes wife. I want them gone.”
“
Be patient
,” said Javier, making sure that no one was listening. “I know it’s difficult, but we have our own little army now. You won’t need to get involved in any dirty work with the zombies any more, we can send our minions out to do it for us. If they happen to run into trouble, perhaps get bitten, well bad luck for them. Until we don’t need them anymore, just wait and go with it. I’ll keep them in line. If anyone gets out of order, I’ll see to them. The cop’s nothing but a big pussycat. He looks tough, but he’s a softy. Hamsikker’s the one to watch. He likes to make out he’s a nobody, but he’s a threat, for sure. I’ve noticed he doesn’t back down when the going gets tough, but if he starts making waves with you and me, he’ll soon find himself on the end of something sharp and pointy.”
“You promise?” asked Rose.
“Promise. These people will only be around as long as they are still useful to us. Once we hit the border, they cease to be of any use.”
Rose laughed, and in the silent gloom of the office, Jonas stopped dead in his tracks. He was going back to help bring in more supplies, and he paused before stepping outside. He wondered what Mara could possibly find to laugh about in their predicament. Seeing Gabe and Mara stood at the back of the campervan, he decided to stay in the shadows for a moment and try to hear what they were talking about.
“I just think we can do better than this, you know? Look at us, squirrelling away food and water, playing Mom and Dad, and driving around in a damn campervan. When did we turn into the Brady bunch? I want to be with you, not a bunch of strangers. I’m cold and wet, and…”
“I don’t need to hear another litany of complaints,
Mara
. Just remember who’s in charge. You don’t need to tell me what needs doing, or what I should be saying or feeling. I’ve got it covered. We’ll get a fire going inside and get warm. Just learn when to keep your God damn mouth shut. Got that?”
Jonas noticed that Gabe’s hands were down by his side as he spoke, but they were curled up into fists and trembling. If he struck Mara, then Jonas was going to have to confront him. It seemed so out of character, though, that he felt he must be reading the situation wrong. He had never seen a man actually hit a woman, forgetting the endless procession of violent Hollywood movies that he’d watched, and he wasn’t sure if he needed to get ready to intervene. Gabe had been nothing but, well, sweetness and light, so to hear their raised voices was concerning. Gabe spoke quite forcefully to Mara in a tone that was not reassuring to Jonas at all.
“What’s up, Hamsikker? You coming inside or what?” Peter brushed past Jonas as he went out to the van. “Freya’s cold, so I thought I’d grab some extra blankets. I’m glad you prepared for an emergency, Gabriel, you’re a lifesaver. If you hadn’t pre-loaded this van, we’d have nothing right now.”
As Peter lifted a box from the back of the van, Javier watched as Jonas stepped out into the rain.
“I was…just coming to help,” said Jonas. He grabbed a random box from the campervan, and followed Peter back inside. Jonas could feel Gabe’s eyes burning into his back as he walked and hoped Gabe didn’t suspect he had been eavesdropping on him. It was the truth, but he didn’t want to upset Gabe now, not when they were just starting to get to know each other.
“You think they heard?” Rose pressed herself up against Javier. “You think…”
“I doubt they heard much. If they did, they would’ve said or done something about it. Still, we can’t be too careful.” Javier wasn’t convinced they were in the clear, but he didn’t want to take any chances and wake to find a knife at his throat in the middle of the night. “I’ll speak to Hamsikker.”
“I wish we could find some private time tonight. It’s been too long,” said Rose. She licked her lips and rubbed Javier’s back.
“What about the boy?” Javier looked at her. “We need to contain this first, make sure the group is still on our side. Why don’t you play a little game with Peter? Get him to take watch with you or something.”
“A game?” Rose ignored the rain dripping down her back and suddenly felt warm again.
“What’s that game you like to play?” asked Javier playfully, knowing full well what it was. He curled Rose’s hair around his fingers. “Stick, or twist? Im sure Peter would love it if you played with him.”
Rose reached up to kiss Javier, and he grabbed her, cupping her face in his hand. “Just be
discreet
. Make it look like an accident. If it works, you can do the cop next.”
Rose twisted herself free from Javier’s grip, and grinned. “I can’t wait.”
CHAPTER SIX
“So come with me. Come with us to Canada. I should’ve been honest with you from the start, I get that, but Gabe asked me not to say anything until he had spoken to Mara.”
Erik continued stroking Pippa’s hair as she lay beside him.
“I don’t waste time holding grudges, Hamsikker. I always suspected you would try to help Janey at some point. I haven’t been sitting around with my finger up my ass, you know. I’m always thinking about Pippa and my kids; what I can do for them and where I can take them that’s safe. I thought Saint Paul’s was going to be that place, but it didn’t work out. Since then, I’ve been trying to decide what to do. Canada? Maybe. I’ve thought about Terry’s plan, too, heading for the coast, but I’m not sure it’s for me. It just doesn’t feel right.”
“I think he’ll make it. Don’t ask me how, but he’s made it this far. He’s tough.”
After securing the building they had set about creating separate areas to sleep in. The office was cold, but the blankets they had with them helped, and they managed to start a fire in a waste paper basket that gave them a little warmth. It was burning now beneath an open window that sucked the smoke out. The warehouse had a staircase leading to a series of ladders and rails that crisscrossed the floor, suspended high above the machines that lay silent below. The front door was secured behind a large filing cabinet, and the only windows in the place were high up, well away from any prying eyes or curious zombies. They ate and then moved to their own private areas to rest. They decided to leave at first light, so an early night was called for. Terry indicated to Jonas that he still wanted to leave, and Jonas had even gotten as far as filling a backpack for him with a little food and water, but when it came time to say goodbye, Terry hesitated. Jonas was so sure he was going to leave, but they talked, and eventually Terry decided he would wait another day. He told Jonas he wanted to make sure they were safe, on their way north, but Jonas thought it was more likely that Terry was scared. Going it alone wasn’t a prospect to savor, and Terry was going to need a bit more time to summon up the courage he needed to make it on his own.
Jonas asked Erik to help him with a chore after supper, and he told him everything about Terry’s plan to leave. Jonas knew he could trust Erik to be discreet, and it was a relief to share it with someone else. Erik was perfectly suited to being a cop. He just had that natural confidence about him, like he was your best friend and protector rolled into one. Jonas knew it was only because of Erik that he was still alive, and just as when they were growing up, they still relied on each other.
The fire crackled and popped, and the flames splashed across Erik’s face. Jonas looked at Pippa, who was fast asleep, and then across at Dakota. Her eyes were closed, but he wondered if she was pretending to sleep so she could listen in.
“For now, we’ll come with you. It’d be good to see Janey again.”
“Great. I’m so relieved, Erik. I really didn’t want us to split up. I’m telling you, things will be better up there. Once we find Janey we can make a real go of it. We can find somewhere safe, somewhere away from people, just us, and…”
“Hold on, Hamsikker, I said for now.” Erik yawned and lay down beside Pippa, careful not to wake her. “Once we find Janey, and she’s okay, I can’t promise what we’ll do next.”
“Okay, okay. I hope you’re not thinking of going back,” said Jonas. “Kentucky is a dangerous place now. There’s nothing back there for you, nothing but memories and graves. Saint Paul’s is gone. Your home is gone.”
“I know, I know.” Erik yawned again, but Freya began to stir, and she began crying in her sleep. “Hold on,” said Erik as he got up to attend to his daughter who was sleeping nearby.
Jonas listened in the dark as Erik tried to comfort Freya. She didn’t really wake from whatever nightmare she was having, but as Erik soothed her, she stopped crying.
“I know, I know,” whispered Erik repeatedly.
Jonas had never seen Erik cry, but it sounded like the man’s voice was breaking. It must be killing him that he couldn’t help his family.
“Close your eyes, and pretend we’re in Hawaii. Picture that sandy beach, and try to feel the warmth of the sun on your skin. Remember when we were there last year? Go back there, honey, go back. Just go to sleep, and dream about those pretty Hula girls and how good it was. We’ll go back one day, honey, but just sleep now. I’m here. I’ll always be right here beside you. I love you.”
Freya’s crying had stopped, and Jonas guessed she was probably fast asleep already. Despite her restless sleep, she was exhausted, and nightmares or not, she needed rest.
“I love you, Freya.”
Jonas felt guilty for listening, but it was soothing. The events of the day kept running around his mind, and dark images populated his thoughts. Restless, he turned over, but there was little he could do to force himself to sleep. He’d always been a poor sleeper, whereas Dakota could sleep through an earthquake. In fact, only a couple of years ago she had done just that when a large one had hit the west coast. He looked at her now, sleeping so peacefully. The blanket had slipped down, and as he carefully pulled the blanket up to her chin, he draped an arm over her. She was warm, and though he wanted to snuggle up to her, he didn’t want her to wake. She was tired like everyone else.
Erik returned, and Jonas gave up on the idea of sleeping before he took watch.
“Peter took Freya to the bathroom at the clubhouse yesterday and let her take a shower,” said Erik. “Peter told me it was the first time in weeks he’d seen her smile, like
genuinely
smile. My daughter doesn’t do enough of that anymore. She’s been scarred by all of this. I just hope it’s not permanent.”
“Kids are resilient,” said Jonas, trying to reassure his old friend. “She’s still here isn’t she? She’s tougher than you think. She’ll come round.”
Erik raised his eyebrows. “Resilient?”
“So I hear. Okay, so I don’t know anything about kids,” said Jonas, “but she’s kept it together this long, hasn’t she? Peter is amazing for her. Pippa, too, but Peter’s what, seventeen? He’s taken on so much, and I never hear him complain.”
“True. I’d do anything for my boy. He’s going to be an amazing man one day. I’m proud as hell of both of my kids, and that’s why I’m not ruling anything out
or
in. I just need to make sure I do what’s best for my family. When we get to Janey in a couple of days, then I’ll decide.
We’ll
decide.” Erik let out another yawn. “Let’s get some sleep. Gabe’s on watch, right?”
“Yeah, I’ll go switch with him shortly. Get some rest, Erik.”
Jonas made sure Dakota was warm and then took a look around the warehouse that was their home for the night. Using the blankets they had brought and some carpet samples they had found, everyone had a bed of sorts to call their own. Even though they had spent much of the day driving, it was still tiring. Jonas hoped Terry’s impending departure didn’t inspire a similar idea in Erik. In the morning Jonas intended to lay out his plans very clearly. There would be no more hiding or messing around. Gabe would have time to talk to Mara, and when they were all up, Jonas was going to make it clear that their best chance of survival was to head north to Canada.
He trudged to the now open vending machine with its front panel smashed in and pulled out a packet of chips. Jonas figured he may as well go up early and relieve Gabe of his shift on watch, as he didn’t feel like sleeping yet.
“Hamsikker, you got a second?” Quinn was making her bed for the night, laying out a blanket in a dark corner, and he had almost trodden on her in the dark.
“Sure. What’s up?” Jonas always had time for Quinn. He wasn’t in the mood to chat, and Quinn rarely wasted her breath on idle gossip, so he assumed it was important. “You know I never properly thanked you for earlier. Dakota freaked out, but you stepped up. I appreciate that.”
“No problem. That’s what we do, right? Watch each other’s backs?” Quinn looked around the room, but Gabe was off doing his rounds, and it seemed like everyone else was asleep. “I wanted to talk to you. How are you doing?” She struggled to find the right words. “I’m sorry about how things went down. These last couple of days have been hell. With everything that’s happened lately nobody would be surprised if you needed some time to, you know…
adjust
.”
“Adjust?” He knew Quinn was being polite. “You’re talking about the garage? What happened inside is my issue, not yours. If that’s all you want to talk about, then forget it.”
As he went to leave, Quinn grabbed his arm. “No. Look, I know it affected you, and I just wanted you to know that I understand. Seeing your friends die like that… Sorry, Hamsikker, but I wanted to talk to you about something else too. Please, just sit with me a minute.”
Quinn sat on the makeshift bed and drew her knees up to her chin. The way she was looking at Jonas was unusual, and he couldn’t work out what she wanted.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to snap,” he said as he sat down beside her. The floor beneath the blanket was hard, but the room was warm and quiet. They were all exhausted, and he doubted she would have much trouble sleeping tonight.
“It’s nothing. For what it’s worth, I’m truly sorry. Anna and Mary were fun to have around. I don’t think Freya’s handling it too well, losing her friend. This whole thing has got her scared. We’ve lost some good people lately. Sometimes I still turn around to talk to Tyler, and I forget he’s gone. I know, I know, you don’t want to get into anything now, and that’s fine. If you ever do want to talk though, then I’m here.”
“Thanks, Quinn.” Jonas wanted to tell her about Terry’s plan to leave, but the less people who knew the better. It would be best to clear the air in the morning, make a fresh start as a group. “It’s not easy. Sometimes I lose sight of what we’re doing, where we’re going. I need to be doing something, though, and bumbling along doesn’t suit me. Before all this I used to plan and organize my life, but now it’s a mess. I wake up in the morning, and I don’t even know where to start.”
“Motivation, is that what you want?” asked Quinn. “How about living. I mean, you don’t need to save up for that condo in Florida anymore. The two-week vacation in Bora Bora is off the menu, and the only thing you’re likely to pick up at Penny’s is a bad case of dead. Look, you’re alive; that’s it. There doesn’t have to be anything else or any more to life. All we do now is get by. That’s how we stay alive. We look out for each other. That’s our life now.”
Jonas knew Quinn meant well, but she was young and didn’t have the responsibilities that he did. “It’s funny. I used to be wired differently.” Jonas offered Quinn some chips, and they munched on them as they talked. “When I was a kid all I wanted to do was leave home, and get as far away from my father as I possibly could. Once I’d achieved that, I tried to make my fortune. My early twenties were a succession of dead-end jobs and bad choices in women. Don’t get me wrong, for a while there I loved it, but after a time you realize you need something more out of life. I finally got a good job, I met Dakota, and my life changed. I had a reason to live, not just a selfish one, but a
real
reason. Dakota made me happy, and I wanted to give her everything. I worked my butt off, and until a few months ago, I didn’t think life would change. I saw no reason to change anything, but then of course, it was forced on all of us. My father died, then he un-died, then he died again. My world was turned upside down, but you don’t need me to tell you that. You must have lost someone you love?”
“You don’t have a monopoly on guilt, Hamsikker. I saw my parents killed right in front of me,” said Quinn. “I saw my husband kill them, and there was nothing I could do about it. You talk of love. What I had with Roger… What’s past is past, right? Forget it and move on?” Quinn looked at Jonas accusingly with bitterness and anger in her eyes.
“I’m sorry.” Jonas instantly knew he should never have brought it up. Quinn was a private person, and he felt bad for making her open up to him.
“Don’t be. Just accept that life deals you a shitty hand sometimes, and there’s nothing you can do about it but grab what you can, while you can. I used to run with a bad crowd. I’m not proud of it, but that’s who I am. I’ve been hiding it, and I admit I’m not sure how Erik would take it, but the truth is I was part of a gang. At first it was all about hanging with the cool kids, then it progressed into a few muggings, and by the end we were holding up liquor stores at gunpoint. Roger was in on it too. I thought we were invincible. I thought we were
bad motherfuckers
, but we were just kids playing a role. In the end…”
Quinn trailed off into silence, and Jonas could see why she didn’t talk about herself much. “So you got out?”
Quinn laughed, but there was nothing funny about what she said, and her laughter was tinged with sadness. “Got out? No. On our last job, Roger got bitten. We thought it was some crazy drunk, and we put a bullet in his head. I got Roger home to my parents. We couldn’t exactly go to the cops about it, you know? I drank a bottle of bourbon, fell asleep, and when I woke up in the morning… well, that was when the world changed. Like you said, we’ve all lost someone.”
Quinn trailed off into silence again, and Jonas waited for her to continue, but she didn’t. “Like you said, what’s past is past. We’ve all done things we’re not proud of.” Jonas had no intention of telling anyone else about Cliff, but the man’s battered face would haunt him forever. “Was there anything else, Quinn, as I really should go up and relieve Gabe?”