Hades (44 page)

strained across his defined chest. He looked superhuman,

as if he could shoulder a car with minimal effort. That was

probably because he could if the situation cal ed for it.

The sound of water running through the old pipes filtered

out from the bathroom and Mol y immediately seized it as

an opportunity to strike up a discussion.

“So, wil Ivy be okay?” she asked awkwardly. It was clear

she wasn’t there to talk about Ivy, but a more effective

opening eluded her.

“Ivy is a seraphim,” Gabriel replied as if that settled the

matter.

“Yeah,” Mol y said. “I remember. And that’s pretty cool,

right?”

“Yes,” said Gabriel slowly. “It is
cool
.”

Taking this as encouragement, Mol y edged her way into

the room and perched on the bed, pretending to examine

her fingernails. Gabriel leaned against the doorway

opposite her. If he’d been human he would have looked

awkward or uncomfortable, but he was composed in every

way. No matter what environment he found himself in, my

brother always gave off an air of self-possession, as if he’d

been there al his life. He stood with his hands folded

behind his back and his head tilted slightly to one side as if

he were listening to a silent internal melody. His attention

seemed far from Mol y, although I knew he was waiting for

her to speak. He could probably hear her heart thumping in

her chest, smel the sweat on the palms of her hands—even

read her mind if he wanted to.

Mol y raised her eyes nervously. “You were amazing

today,” she said. Gabriel looked at her, perplexed by the

compliment.

“I was doing my job,” he replied in his low, compel ing

voice.

I could tel by the expression on Mol y’s face that his voice

affected her in ways I couldn’t understand. It seemed like

each word he spoke entered her body on a physical level.

Mol y shivered slightly and wrapped her arms around

herself.

“Are you cold?” my brother asked. Without waiting for her

answer he chivalrously lifted his jacket from the back of the

chair and draped it around her shoulders. The thoughtful

gesture seemed to move Mol y to such an extent that she

struggled to keep her eyes from misting up.

“No, real y,” she insisted. “I always knew you were

amazing, but today was different. You were like something

out of this world.”

“That’s because I’m not from this world, Mol y,” Gabriel

replied evenly.

“But you’re stil connected to it, right?” Mol y pressed. “To

people, I mean. Like Xavier and me?”

“My job is to protect people like you and Xavier. I wish

you only health and happiness …”

“That’s not what I’m saying,” Mol y cut in.

“Wha t
are
you saying?” He looked at her with the

piercing intensity of someone determined to understand a

way of reasoning that was not his own.

“It’s just that I think you could want more. These last few

days I’ve been sensing that like … maybe … you might

have felt …”

I sprang onto the bed and knelt beside Mol y. I tried to

send out a message of caution, but she was too absorbed

in Gabriel’s presence to notice I was there with her.

No, Molly, don’t do it. You’re smarter than this. Think

about it. Gabriel isn’t what you want him to be. You’re

about to make a huge mistake. You only think you know

him. You’ve imagined there’s more to it than there really

is. If you’re hurting now, this will only make things worse.

Go and talk to Xavier first. Wait a while—you’re tired.

Molly, listen to me!

Gabriel turned his head slowly to look at her. The

movement was almost robotic. His face was cast in

shadow from the dim motel light, but his hair stil glowed as

it fel gently around his cheekbones like strands of gold and

his eyes were a forever-shifting haze of silver and ice blue.

“Maybe I felt what?” he asked curiously.

Mol y sighed in exasperation and I knew she’d had

enough of dropping hints. She stood up so she was

standing directly in front of him. With her mermaid tumble of

curls, wide blue eyes, and dewy skin she looked as enticing

as ever. Most men would not have had the wil power to

resist her.

“You act like you don’t have feelings, but I know you do!”

she said confidently. “I think you feel a lot more than you let

on. I think you could love someone, even fal in love with

someone if you chose to.”

“I’m not sure what you’re trying to say, Mol y. I value

human life,” Gabriel said. “I wish to defend and protect My

Father’s children. But the love you speak of … I know

nothing of that.”

“Stop lying to yourself. I can see through you.”

“And what exactly do you think you see?” Gabriel raised

an eyebrow and I realized he had an inkling of where the

conversation was headed.

“Someone’s who’s just like me,” Mol y cried. “Someone

who wants to be in love but is too scared to let it happen.

You care about me, Gabriel—admit it!”

“I’ve never denied caring for you,” Gabriel said gently.

“Your wel -being is important to me.”

“It’s more than that,” Mol y insisted. “It has to be! I feel

something incredible between us and I know you must feel

it too.”

Gabriel leaned forward. “Listen to me careful y,” he said.

“You have somehow gotten the wrong idea about me. I’m

not here to …”

Before Gabriel could finish, Mol y leapt forward and

closed the distance between them. I saw her arms reach

around his waist and her fingers close over his T-shirt. I saw

her stand on the tips of her toes and strain up toward him. I

saw her eyes close in a moment of pure ecstasy as their

lips met. She kissed him fervently, longingly, intoxicated by

him. Her body ached for his touch and she pressed herself

against him. She trembled with the intensity of it, her whole

body straining to get closer to him. The room became

charged with a strange energy, and for a moment I thought

something would ignite between them that would blast

through the wal s of the motel room. Then I saw Gabriel’s

face.

While he hadn’t moved away from Mol y, he wasn’t

returning her kiss. His arms remained rigidly by his sides,

his mouth unresponsive, refusing to meld with hers. Mol y

might have been kissing a waxwork for al the response she

drew from him. Gabriel let her continue for a moment

before gently disengaging himself from her grasp. She

fought him for a second then staggered back and sank

down on the bed.

“No, Mol y. This can’t happen.”

Gabriel only looked saddened by her display of affection.

He wore a thoughtful frown, looking at Mol y the same way

he looked at al mortal dilemmas he needed to solve. He’d

worn the same expression when they’d stopped to talk to

Earl at the gas station and again when he’d inspected the

grooves on the front porch of the Abbey. His clear eyes

were serious as he grappled for a solution to a problem he

had not before encountered. A strange look crossed

Mol y’s face as his indifference final y dawned on her. Her

forehead creased as she tried to make sense of the

overpowering attraction she felt that seemed to be strictly

one-way. I could tel she couldn’t quite believe it and I noted

the exact moment when humiliation replaced her passion.

Blood rushed to her cheeks and she squirmed under

Gabriel’s inquisitive gaze.

“I can’t believe I got it so wrong,” she murmured. “I never

do that.”

“I’m sorry, Mol y,” Gabriel said. “I apologize if I’ve said or

done anything to mislead you.”

“Don’t you feel anything?” she asked more angrily. “You

must feel something!”

“I do not possess human sentiment,” Gabriel said and

then thought to add, “nor does Ivy.” Maybe he hoped it’d

make Mol y feel better to know that her advances would be

lost on my sister as wel . If so, it didn’t have the desired

effect.

“Quit acting like you’re a robot or something,” she

snapped.

“If that’s how you’d prefer to think of me …” Gabriel

trailed off.

“It’s not!” Mol y burst out. “I’d prefer to think of you as real,

not some tin man who doesn’t have a heart.”

“My heart is nothing but a vital organ pumping blood

around this body,” Gabriel explained. “I lack the capacity to

give the love you speak of.”

“What about Beth?” Mol y asked. “She loves Xavier and

she’s one of you.”

“Bethany is an exception,” Gabriel conceded. “A rare

exception.”

“Why can’t you be an exception too?” Mol y insisted.

“Because I am not like Bethany,” Gabriel said in a

matter-of-fact voice. “I am not young and inexperienced.

There is something in Bethany’s makeup, a flaw or a

strength, that al ows her to feel what humans feel. I do not

have that in my programming.” I was too caught up in the

mounting tension to wonder whether or not I ought to be

offended.

“But I’m in love with you,” Mol y whimpered.

“If you think you love me, then you don’t know what love

is,” Gabriel said. “Love has to be reciprocated for it to be

real.”

“I don’t understand,” Mol y said. “Am I not hot enough for

you or something?”

“Now you’re just proving my point,” Gabriel sighed. “A

body is merely a vehicle. The deepest emotions are

experienced through the soul.”

“So it’s my soul that isn’t up to your standards then?”

“Don’t be ridiculous.”

“What’s wrong with you?” Mol y exploded. “Why don’t you

want me?”

“Please try to accept what I’m saying.”

“Are you saying no matter what I do, no matter how hard I

try, you’l never feel that way about me?”

“I’m saying you’re behaving like a child because that is

what you are.”

“So it’s because you think I’m too young,” Mol y said

desperately. “I can wait. I can wait until you feel ready. I’l do

whatever you need.”

“Stop,” Gabriel said. “This discussion is over. I cannot

give you the answer you want to hear.”

“Tel me why.” Mol y’s hysteria was rising. “Tel me what’s

wrong with me that you won’t even consider me!”

“You should leave now,” Gabriel’s voice had gone flat. He

was no longer trying to console her.

“No!” Mol y shouted. “Tel me what I did!”

“It’s not what you did.” Gabriel’s tone became harsher.

“It’s what you are.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Mol y choked out.

“You are human.” My brother’s eyes flashed. “It’s in your

nature to be lustful, greedy, envious, deceitful, and proud.

Al your life you wil fight against those instincts. My Father

gave you free wil , He chose you to rule His earth and look

what you have done with it. This world is in ruins and I am

here only to restore His glory—I have no other purpose and

no other interest. Do you think I am so weak as to be

seduced by a doe-eyed human who is barely more than a

child? I am different from you in every possible way. I can

only try to understand your ways and never, not in a

thousand years, wil you come close to understanding mine.

So that is why, Mol y, your efforts here are useless.”

Gabriel watched impassively as tears began to flow,

mingling with Mol y’s mascara and smudging her cheeks.

She wiped them away furiously with the backs of her hands.

“I …” Her hiccups caused her to stutter. “I hate you.”

She looked so vulnerable then I wished I could have done

something to show her she wasn’t alone. If I’d been there, I

would have also liked to kick my brother in the shins for his

lack of sensitivity.

“For your sake,” Gabriel said distantly, “perhaps hate is

better than love.”

“It doesn’t matter to you, either way,” Mol y sobbed. “
I

don’t matter.”

“That is not true,” Gabriel said. “If your life is being

threatened, that is my concern. If you are in danger, if

anyone is ever harming you, you may depend on me to

protect you. But in matters of the heart, I cannot help you.”

“You could at least try. You could chal enge your so-cal ed

programming
the way Beth did and see what happens!

How can you know what you might feel?”

She was so passionate in her conviction that I almost

hoped Gabriel’s heart would melt. But he only lowered his

eyes as if he had committed a grievous sin.