‘You still do that?’ Kit’s parents always spent New Year’s Eve with Colm’s family in Cork, and as teens, the three siblings traditionally took advantage of being left alone in a parent-free house, and threw a party.
‘Well, we haven’t for ages, but we decided we’d re-instigate it this year since we’re all home.’
‘Sounds great! I’ll definitely be there if I can get a babysitter. ’ Maybe she could even get some time alone with Ethan. ‘Do you think we’ve been up here long enough?’ she asked, anxious to get back downstairs. She may not be able to touch Ethan, but at least she could talk to him.
‘Sure. Why don’t I go down first and you follow in a few minutes – that way it’ll seem like we’re trying to be discreet. And muss yourself up a bit before you come down.’
‘Okay.’ She sighed as he left the room.
She came out of Kit’s bedroom a few moments later. As she made her way along the landing, another door opened and Ethan appeared. Grasping her arm, he pulled her into the room, then shut the door and backed her up against it.
‘Happy Christmas.’ He grinned, gazing into her eyes before swooping
in for a kiss. All Romy’s pent-up longing whooshed over her like a wave at the feel of his lips on hers, leaving her gasping for breath. She grabbed him, kissing him back feverishly, running her fingers through his hair and over his chest like she could never get enough of him.
When they finally broke apart they were both flushed and breathless.
‘God, I needed that,’ Ethan said, leaning his forehead on hers. ‘I’ve missed you so much. I’m going crazy not being able to touch you. And kiss you.’ He leaned in and kissed her again.
‘Me too,’ Romy breathed as his lips moved to her neck. ‘But we should probably go back down. We’ll be missed.’
She felt him nod, the softness of his hair tickling her chin, but he made no move to let her go as he nuzzled the sensitive skin of her throat.
Finally, he lifted his head with a sigh. ‘I wish we could …’ His eyes drifted regretfully to the large bed that dominated the room, and Romy suddenly realised that they were in his bedroom. The thought gave her goose bumps. If only there was time, she thought, looking longingly at the bed – even for a quickie. Maybe on New Year’s Eve – perhaps in the commotion of the party they could slip away unnoticed.
‘We should probably go down separately,’ Ethan was saying, ‘so no one gets suspicious.’
Romy nodded. ‘I’ll go first.’ She knew the drill by now.
This had gone beyond ridiculous, she thought, torn between annoyance and amusement as she peeked out the door first to make sure no one was looking, then crept along the corridor. Her life had turned into a French farce.
‘Good job!’ Kit said when she rejoined him in the living room.
‘What?’ She frowned at him in confusion.
‘The mussing
up,’ he said. ‘You look like your feathers have been well and truly ruffled.’
Romy smiled weakly at him and took a big slug of champagne. She had to force herself not to turn around when she heard Ethan return to the room moments later, but it wasn’t long after that that her mother declared that it was time to go because she needed to get the turkey in the oven. They collected their coats in the hall and took their leave with more hugs and kisses and wishes of ‘Merry Christmas’. When they were on the doorstep, Danny pulled a rolled up sheet of paper from the inside pocket of his coat and turned back, marching up to Kit.
‘That’s for you,’ he said gruffly, handing it to him.
Kit looked down warily at the scroll in his hand. ‘What is it?’
‘It’s the design I did for your garden.’
‘Oh, thanks. I didn’t think—’
Danny bristled, and turned to go.
‘Thanks!’ Kit called after him.
As the days passed, Romy started to feel very antsy about not seeing Ethan. She had felt sure he would call over on Stephen’s Day on the pretext of visiting Kit, and they would at least be able to see each other, but he didn’t. She missed him desperately, and the more time passed without seeing him, the more on edge and insecure she felt, fretting about who he was with and worried that he was forgetting her. Out of sight is out of mind, and Ethan wasn’t renowned for having much of an attention span when it came to women. Perhaps her time was up.
She tried to reassure herself that she was being silly and had
nothing to worry about. After all, he had told her how much he missed her on Christmas Day – more than that, he had shown her. She repeated his words over and over again in her head, and relived his passionate kisses. He had seemed as desperate to have some time alone together as she was. She had to have a little faith. But as the days after Christmas passed with no sign of Ethan, it became harder and harder to believe.
When she arranged to meet Kit for a drink the day before New Year’s Eve, she was fully expecting Ethan to take the opportunity to come along. So she was disappointed when Kit turned up alone.
‘I thought Ethan might come with you,’ she said when they were seated at a table with a couple of drinks. She tried desperately to keep her voice light and sound casual.
‘No. He was going to when I originally mentioned it to him, but that was before Anna turned up. I don’t think we’ll be seeing much of Ethan for the rest of the holidays.’
Oh fuck!
Icy tentacles crept through Romy’s veins, chilling her blood, as all her worst fears were realised in those two syllables: Anna. Feeling her throat constrict with tears, she told herself to hold it together. ‘Who’s that, then?’ she asked, trying to sound offhand.
‘She’s one of Ethan’s bevy of fuck buddies.’
‘Oh!’ She took a big gulp of her drink. Don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry, she chanted in her head.
Damn it, why was she so upset anyway? She knew Ethan slept around – a lot. She knew they were just having a fling and weren’t serious about each other. But the thought of Ethan with someone else made her want to throw up and scream and cry all at the same time.
‘Yeah, she turned up on Stephen’s Day. She’s been travelling and she was trying to get back to France for Christmas, but her
flight was cancelled. The snow over there is even worse apparently. So she got stranded here.’
‘Is she … staying there – at your parents’ house?’
‘Yes. “Sleeping in the spare room”,’ Kit said, doing quotation marks in the air.
‘But you don’t think she is really?’
‘I doubt it. Unless Ethan’s sleeping in there with her. It wouldn’t be like him not to offer a bed to a hot French girl in need. He’s very charitable that way.’
Romy forced a smile.
‘He’s seemed a bit lost the past few days,’ Kit mused. ‘Hasn’t been himself.’
‘In what way?’
Kit shrugged. ‘He just seems really restless and on edge – like a hen that can’t lay, as Dad puts it.’
‘Really?’ Romy felt a tiny stirring of hope.
‘More like a cock that can’t
get
laid,’ Kit said with a laugh. ‘He didn’t seem to have anyone lined up, and it’s not like him to go without for so long. But I’m sure Anna will sort him out.’
Of course, she thought, her heart plummeting. What an idiot she was. It wasn’t
her
Ethan had been missing, it was sex. And now because she was unavailable, he was having it with someone else. She should have known and she berated herself for her stupidity. She knew what he was like – Kit had told her often enough. What did she expect? He had only slept with her in the first place because they were snowed in together and she happened to be convenient. Probably anyone else would have done just as well.
She had known all along that it was just sex and it wasn’t going to last. So why did she feel so damn
hurt?
Of course, she knew bloody well why, and it wasn’t just that she wanted their fling to last a little longer. She hadn’t meant to fall for Ethan, but
that hadn’t stopped it happening, and she had fallen hard. She was crazy about him. And he was out there somewhere fucking Anna.
She knew she had no reason to be angry with him. He had never said anything to make her believe she was any different to the countless other girls he had slept with. It wasn’t his fault that she felt more than he did and that their time together had meant so much more to her. But how could he go around being so damn sweet and adorable, and making her happier than she’d ever been if he was just going to take it all away again? It was too cruel. And it was torture to think of him being that way with someone else. She couldn’t bear it.
‘Romy? Are you okay?’ Kit asked, frowning concernedly at her.
‘Oh, yeah, I just – I just have to go to the loo. Sorry.’
She darted to the loo, where she gave vent to the tears that she couldn’t hold in any longer and allowed herself a quick cry. The rest would have to wait until she got home. Then she splashed her face with cold water until she was confident the redness around her eyes was gone, and rejoined Kit.
‘So, have you any news?’ he asked her when she got back to her seat. ‘How’s Luke and … everyone?’
‘Luke’s great!’ She smiled. ‘He’s started teething, so he’s gumming everything in sight.’
‘And how’s Danny?’
She made a face. ‘He’s okay, I guess. He’s been a bit down in the dumps lately.’
‘He should have come out tonight – might have cheered him up.’
‘He couldn’t. He was meeting Paul,’ she said, raising her eyebrows. ‘That’s his ex.’
‘I know. I met him.’ Kit took a big swig from his drink.
‘You did?’
‘That time
we went to the garden centre.’
‘Oh. Danny never said.’
‘Why is Danny meeting him?’
‘Paul’s been ringing him lately.’ She looked down at the table, tracing a pattern on the wood with her finger. ‘I think maybe he wants to get back together.’
‘Oh. Do you think Danny would take him back?’
‘I don’t know. I hope not – so does Mum. I mean, we used to like Paul, but he was really shitty to Danny in the end.’
Kit sighed. ‘So, you’re still coming to our party tomorrow night?’
‘Oh! Yes, I guess so. Mum said she’d babysit.’ Oh Christ, would Ethan be there with his latest fuck-buddy? Would she be forced to act cool while watching them snogging at midnight, pretending she didn’t care about him any more than he cared about her?
Shit!
But it would be weird now if she didn’t go. She would just have to tough it out.
‘Bring Lesley. And Danny.’
‘Danny? Really? I thought the two of you didn’t want to be on the same planet these days, much less in the same room.’
‘Well, it’ll be a big party,’ Kit drawled. ‘I’m sure we’ll be able to stay out of each other’s way.’ He sounded flip, but she couldn’t help noticing that he looked sad.
‘Yeah, I’ll bring him. I’ll bring them both.’
Romy felt queasy the following night as she rolled up at the Mastersons’ house. She was not looking forward to this party in the least and she really didn’t know how she was going to get through it.
‘Hi Romy, Danny,’ Ethan smiled as he opened the door. ‘Hi, Lesley – nice to see you again.’
‘Hi,’ Romy
answered quietly, thrusting a bottle of wine at him as they stepped into the hall and were greeted by the sounds of a party in full swing.
When they had removed their coats, Ethan led them through to the packed living room.
‘What do you want to drink?’