‘Well, that was a turn-up for the books,’ Danny said the following morning, as he and Kit lay wrapped around each other in bed.
‘You didn’t know I was gay?’ Kit asked, stroking Danny’s hair. ‘Didn’t even suspect?’
‘No, not at all. So Romy knows?’
‘I haven’t exactly told her, but I think she guessed. I suppose she’s got good gaydar because of you.’
‘She never
said anything.’
‘Well, she wouldn’t. She knows I’m not out.’
Danny stirred, pulling back a little. ‘Why aren’t you?’ He frowned.
Kit sighed. ‘It just sort of … happened that way. I was already in New York when I realised I was gay, so there was no need to tell my family. They didn’t have to know about the life I lived over there.’
‘Do you not think they’d have been cool about it?’
‘No, that’s the funny thing – I’m sure they would have been. But at first there seemed no need, and then the more time passed without telling them, the harder it became. I felt they’d be hurt that I hadn’t told them before – like it meant I didn’t trust them. I suppose I kind of painted myself into a corner.’
‘So, Romy is like your …
beard?’
Danny said the word like it was something completely preposterous that he’d only ever come across in movies – which somehow struck Kit as quite likely.
‘Basically, yeah.’
‘And you had girlfriends like that in New York? Fake ones?’
‘Yeah, all the time.’ Kit sighed. ‘I was working on Wall Street, it’s a very macho environment. It’s tough enough without giving yourself added complications. It’s just a lot easier doing business if you can be one of the guys, you know?’
‘Not really,’ Danny said, smiling wryly.
‘No, I don’t suppose you would.’ Kit leaned over and placed a soft kiss on Danny’s forehead. ‘That’s one of the things I like about you.’
‘That I’m not one of the guys?’
‘That you don’t pretend to be something you’re not.’
‘That’s ironic, coming from you.’
‘Believe me, I know.’
They
were interrupted by the buzzing of the text alert on Danny’s phone. He scrabbled around on the floor for his jeans and pulled his mobile out of the pocket.
Kit threw back the duvet and got out of bed while Danny read his text. ‘I’m going to make coffee,’ he said as he pulled on jeans and a sweater.
‘Okay, I’ll be out in a sec,’ Danny said, smiling as he began typing a reply.
‘What do you want for breakfast?’ Kit asked when Danny joined him in the kitchen. ‘Eggs? Croissants?’
‘Actually, I thought we might go out for brunch,’ Danny said.
‘Okay.’ Kit shrugged. It was a bright, sunny morning, and it had finally stopped snowing, though the ground was still covered. It would be nice to get out. ‘Where do you want to go?’
‘Well, some of the friends I was meant to be going to the party with last night are meeting up at Odessa.’
‘Oh. That was them texting you just now?’
‘Yeah. So – what do you say? They do fantastic huevos rancheros.’
‘Were they mad at you for not turning up at the party?’ Kit asked, smiling crookedly.
‘No. Not when I told them why.’ Danny grinned.
Kit’s smile faded instantly. ‘You didn’t tell them about me?’
‘Well … yeah. I mean, I told them I got lucky.’
‘But you didn’t say who with?’
‘No. They wouldn’t even know you.’
‘And you won’t … tell anyone, will you?’
‘What?’ Danny said scathingly.
‘You won’t tell
anyone about this?’ Kit said uncertainly, surprised by Danny’s sudden coldness.
‘No, don’t worry,’Danny said, his lip curled contemptuously. ‘Your secret’s safe with me.’
Kit looked after him in confusion as he stormed off towards the bathroom. A moment later, he heard the shower running. What the hell had got into him all of a sudden? He thought they had had a nice time – a
very
nice time. And now suddenly he was getting the cold shoulder.
When Danny returned, he was fully dressed and pulling on his jacket. Kit jumped in front of him, barring his way as he headed for the door.
‘Hey, where are you going?’
‘I’m going to meet my friends in Odessa,’ Danny said implacably. ‘I take it you’re not coming?’
‘I can’t. You know that.’
‘Why can’t you?’
‘Because – they’ll know it was me you were with last night. Why don’t you stay here with me? ’ Kit said, putting a hand on Danny’s shoulder. ‘I’ll make us huevos rancheros.’
‘What’s the point?’ Danny said huffily, shrugging off his hand.
‘Is this because I asked you not to tell anyone?’
‘Yeah, it is. I’m not interested in being anyone’s dirty little secret, okay?’
‘But I’m not out. I
told
you. What did you expect?’
Damn it, why was he being so obtuse?
‘And why aren’t you out?’
‘Jesus! Were you not listening to a word I said in there?’ Kit raged, waving to the bedroom.
‘Yes, but – you’re not on Wall Street anymore, Kit. Why do you still need all the pretence, the fake girlfriends?’
‘It just makes life easier,’ he said, shrugging.
‘Whose
life?’
‘Look, Danny, I really like you. This wasn’t just a casual shag for me. I want to be with you.’
‘Just not in public.’
Kit sighed. ‘No,’ he admitted finally.
Danny flinched. ‘Well, sorry, but that doesn’t work for me.’
With that, he stomped off and slammed out the door. Kit went to the window and watched as everything he most liked about Danny – his honesty, his integrity, his refusal to compromise – took him farther and farther away.
Having
wished the snow away when it first came, Romy now wanted it to last forever. First thing every morning, she raced anxiously to the window to check that it was still there, hoping for the thaw to hold off just a little longer. She loved living with Ethan and Luke in their little bubble, cocooned from the outside world. She and Ethan did what work they could on the house during the day, and spent the rest of the time making love, playing with Luke and having fun in the snow. They cooked and ate, they talked endlessly, and because the hot water still wasn’t working, they boiled pots of water and took baths together. It was like a lovely holiday, and Romy was afraid that it would all melt away with the snow, and she would be
dumped back into reality with a thud. She knew Ethan didn’t want a serious relationship, and that was fine. But she was having so much fun, she just wanted it to last a bit longer. She was having a fling with a gorgeous, uncomplicated man who seemed to want her as much as she wanted him. She couldn’t remember when she’d felt so happy, and she hadn’t had this much sex in … well, ever!
Still, she couldn’t help feeling a twinge of guilt when she thought of Kit.
‘Don’t tell Kit I told you, okay?’ she said to Ethan one night when they were in bed together. ‘That I’m not really his girlfriend.’
‘Okay,’ Ethan said, his brow furrowed. ‘Not that I really needed you to tell me.’
‘Yeah, how did you know?’
Etha smiled. ‘Let’s just say, I don’t think you’re his type.’
‘Huh! That’s not very nice.’
‘I’m very glad you’re not,’ he said, tucking a strand of hair over her ear. ‘Believe me, his type does nothing for me.’
‘Is he … is he gay?’
Ethan raised his eyebrows. ‘I thought you could tell me. I mean, what other reason could he give you for wanting you to be his fake girlfriend?’
‘Well, he didn’t tell me in so many words – he just said he didn’t want people prying into his private life and stuff.’
‘But it must have been obvious why?’
‘Well, yeah,’ she said, feeling silly that it hadn’t been. ‘Pretty much. But I couldn’t be absolutely sure.’
‘What other explanation could there be?’
‘None, really.’ She didn’t want to get into Lesley’s BDSM theory. ‘So he’s never actually come out to anyone?’
‘No. But Hannah and I have always suspected, and then one time she decided to surprise him in New York. He didn’t know
she was there and she turned up at his apartment unexpectedly. There was this guy there … Kit tried to explain him away, but Hannah wasn’t convinced. And there was other stuff too – she said he’d obviously spent a lot of time clearing away any evidence from the apartment if he knew we were coming.’
‘Wow.’
‘Plus his girlfriends weren’t very plausible.’
‘Gee, thanks. Now I’m implausible.’
‘I don’t mean you,’ Ethan said, smiling at her. ‘Well, not when you really were his girlfriend – I doubt he even knew he was gay himself back then.’
‘Poor Kit. It must be exhausting keeping up that pretence all the time.’
‘I know.’ Ethan sighed. ‘Hannah and I were hoping that when he came back to Ireland, he’d come out. We just think he’d be so much happier if he could be open about it and be himself.’
‘So that’s why you were angry with me?’
‘We weren’t angry with you – well, maybe Hannah was a little bit. But mainly she was just pissed off with Kit.’
‘Well, you can’t tell her about this,’ she said, waving her hand between the two of them.
‘You mean about all the sexing we’ve been doing?’ he grinned wolfishly, leaning over her and planting a kiss on her chest.
‘We can’t tell anyone – especially Kit. It has to be a secret.’
‘I know. But it’s going to be difficult when we’re back in Dublin. I mean, Kit lives in your house.’ He started nuzzling her neck.
‘You mean – you want to keep, um … doing this when we’re back in Dublin?’
‘Hell, yeah,’ he said, his breath hot on her skin as he pressed
little butterfly kisses down her neck. Then he stopped suddenly, pulling back to look at her. ‘Don’t you?’ he asked, his expression anxious.
‘Yes!’ she squealed, putting an arm around his neck and tugging him back to her. ‘We’ll just have to be careful.’
‘Don’t worry. We’ll figure it out.’
Romy had adapted the old adage ‘when your baby sleeps, you sleep’ to ‘when your baby sleeps, you have sex’, and she had never been more grateful that Luke was such a good sleeper.
‘Has Luke gone for his nap?’ Ethan asked as he appeared at the door of her bedroom, his eyes glittering with intent.
‘Yeah. We’ve got about an hour, hopefully,’ Romy said, grinning.
‘Cool.’ He wasted no time, removing his jacket as he strode into the room. He pulled her into his arms and kissed her. Then he blew on his hands to warm them before sliding them up under her top, tickling her sides, and cupping her breasts. She grabbed the hem of his jumper and he broke the kiss to lift his arms so she could yank it off over his head. Then they were kissing again, Romy’s hands moving to the waistband of his jeans.
‘Mmm,’ he groaned, pulling away. ‘I’ll just be a sec.’ He darted off to the bathroom, leaving Romy practically hopping from foot to foot as she waited for his return.
When he came back he stood in the doorway with the box of condoms in his hand, looking worried.
Damn!
What’s wrong? she thought. Why wasn’t he lunging for her and throwing her on the bed? They didn’t have any time to waste.