I didn't share her enthusiasm, so I retired
to my room and read more of the journal. There were many sad
passages after the passing of the writer’s mother, though their
bond didn’t seem traditional, it seemed more... formal. And there
were many complaints about the additional workload, both with the
castle duties (which were described in more detail) and her
training. I couldn’t be sure how much time had passed without the
entries being dated, but her mood had definitely shifted.
Father has been merciless in my practice and
testing with Rune. Unrelenting sessions are wearing on me. I can
barely concentrate. I don’t have the energy for the simplest tasks,
let alone the new and wild trials he’s created. He thinks he has to
test every possible idea he has or else he won’t know what I might
be capable of. He’s gone much more often lately but Rune doesn’t
let up in his absence. I wish there was a way to handle him, some
way he’d give me a break when father was away. I can think of
nothing short of begging, and that would only result in punishment.
Sometimes, when he’s away, I remember my mother. I try to see her
room but it is sealed. I am sorry that I destroyed the only thing I
had of her, this insignificant journal, tore her pages out and
tossed them away to make it my own, a silly child. I remember most
of it though I can’t recall the tone of her writings, whether she
was happy in the beginning. My father’s indiscretion was no secret.
The entire kingdom knew of his notorious action, stealing a light
elf for his bride, though the stories vary. Some insist he was
overtaken by love and she came willingly. Others that he raided her
village and took her in the night. A servant once told me he heard
of her extraordinary powers and beauty and sought her out,
bargaining with her parents. I had scoffed at that. What kind of
person would trade their child? But now that I am older, I see. I
see what power and greed can become. My doubts of the more
outlandish stories, those of the obsession with power and ideas of
breeding a stronger line are gone. But maybe they were in love.
Maybe she was impressed by his station, maybe she had her own
ambitions. Or maybe she lived a nightmare and only hung on so long
for her children.
I was able to piece together some things
about her life. She didn’t go into much detail about the magic,
which I would have found useful, just that she practiced often and
was apparently unusually talented. But she did tell more about her
duties in the castle. Her father must have ruled a vast kingdom.
And she was his second.
I heard someone in the front room and knew I
had read through the night again. I hurriedly slipped the book into
my pack and pretended to sleep. Ruby was waking me minutes later to
head out to the ridge.
Chapter Fourteen
Traveling
The group was waiting for us when we crossed
over the ridge, down to the site where we had spent so many days
and nights. If I hadn’t been so exhausted from lack of sleep, I
would have probably been nervous. As it was, I blindly followed
Ruby as we gathered and eventually mounted to leave.
Chevelle, Steed, and I were back on our
mounts from the earlier leg of the journey. Ruby, Grey, and Anvil
each rode their own black horses, though Anvil’s was larger (I
assumed to accommodate his massive frame) and Ruby’s was decorated,
tendrils of red and gold in its mane. Though not unusual, I didn’t
see Rhys and Rider or the wolves. I wondered if they had their own
horses and preferred to stay out of sight or if they ran with the
wolves. I felt slightly comforted either way.
Once we were on our way, I didn’t mind so
much. I was enjoying being back in the rhythm of the ride, not to
mention the break from training. Conversation flowed easily between
the riders as we made our way farther up the mountain. I had been
thinking about my discussion with Steed but hadn’t decided how to
respond if I were asked again about the incident in the clearing,
about controlling the snake. No one knew about the hawk and I
wasn’t sure how I had done it to begin with, so I couldn’t exactly
explain it. It would have been like explaining how to wiggle your
ears to someone who wasn’t able. But it was easy for me, much
easier than fire even.
I considered my horse. I’d had so much
trouble learning to control him, trying to push him from the
outside. I fell back a little from the group and tried to settle
into his mind as I had the snake, the hawk. I closed my eyes,
trusting him not to run into anything, though a low limb was the
more likely problem. It was more difficult and... different. I was
there though, leading him and seeing what he saw. It felt odd,
uncomfortable, not like the hawk. The feeling reminded me of
something and I drew back, opening my eyes to focus on
remembering.
The small gray bird on the lip of the library
window. For a fraction of a second I had been there, in that bird
before I dropped it. I hadn’t realized, the moment seemed
insignificant in the course of things. I laughed at myself as it
dawned on me that I probably could have simply made it stop
singing. And the frog that had exploded on my white gown, I had
been there for a mere instant. Their minds were so small, so
simple, it was like nothing. The horse was different. It was
watching for predators, concentrating on the path, its steps,
carrying a load.
I tried to find another animal to experiment
on. Our group wasn’t exactly small or quiet so I was sure we’d
scared most of the larger animals off. I wondered if I could figure
out a way to locate them without seeing where they were first. I
thought of the wolves. If I had an animal trained, I could call it
to me to use at my leisure. I had no idea where they were now.
Besides, the thought of entering those massive, vicious-looking
animals made me uneasy. Maybe I could get in on the hunt tonight,
find something then, away from the clatter of rocks under horse
hooves.
An idea struck me and I closed my eyes again
to fall into Steed’s horse. It felt similar to my own, though I
could tell he had more power, more confidence. I pulled back and
experimented with each of the other horses. Anvil’s seemed slower,
fatigued. The others were about the same, though I noticed
Chevelle’s horse was more skittish. I was sure Steed had done that
on purpose.
“
Frey?” Ruby was talking to
me.
I pretended I’d been alert. “Yeah?”
I hadn’t fooled her. “Doing okay?”
“
Uh huh.”
I decided to take the
opportunity; I had a dozen questions since reading the diary. “Hey,
Ruby, are there any
castles
around here?” The caravan stopped as everyone
turned to stare at me. I had no idea what I’d said wrong. I must
have given away the fact that I had no clue where I was. It wasn’t
my fault, I’d never left the village.
I
didn’t know anything about anything
. She
glanced to the watching eyes and again to me. I was sure she was
waiting for something,
they
were waiting for something.
“
Well, it’s just that I
remember reading… in the village… about castles in the North.” Was
I supposed to have read that? Was that in the documents I had
pilfered from the library?
Shut up, Frey,
shut up!
They seemed to relax a
little as Chevelle shook his head and brought his horse back to
pace. I thought I knew what they were thinking.
Idiot
. Ruby answered “Hmm,” with a
cocked eyebrow as she turned to follow the group.
They were mostly silent the
rest of the day, until we stopped for the night. The group split
after dinner as Anvil and Grey positioned themselves on rocks at
the perimeter of our camp. Ruby hung out by Grey most of the
evening and Steed busied himself as Chevelle paced stiffly around
the camp. I was bored again, with everyone entertaining themselves,
so I leaned back against a rock and pulled my pack to my lap. I
wrapped my cloak loosely around me and positioned my legs so I
could place the book there and, hopefully, not be found out. I
wondered how many more days of traveling we’d have. I didn’t see a
peak, I didn't even know if we were going to the peak of the
mountain we were
on
. But I was too cowardly to ask so I distracted myself in the
journal.
My sister hasn’t spoken to me since our
mother passed. I wish she was… different. Not merely a different
personality, but different altogether. I can remember the stories
in my mother’s journal about her own sister, they were so close.
That was, of course, until my father. But I suppose my sister might
be different as well, if not for him. He’s taking a journey, they
tell me. He’ll be gone long. I’ll be here alone, except for Rune.
He’s to continue my practice.
Chevelle approached during his pacing and I
slid the book back into my pack, pretending to examine the beading
on the material of the dress. This seemed to disturb him. He
avoided pacing near me the rest of the evening, throwing me odd
glances now and again. I shrugged it off and went back to
reading.
Father has been gone for
weeks. Rumor is he’s searching for a new mate. Someone unique,
someone powerful, I’m sure. I can’t stand it anymore, he thinks
I’ll sit here and exhaust myself practicing and trying to perform
ridiculous stunts while he’s out running around. All the servants
gossiping and I know
nothing
. I have had it. Mother’s room
remains sealed but I was able to obtain some of her things from
Father’s study. I am only to use it under Rune’s supervision so I
took the books out and returned to my room with them in secret last
night. I have scoured through them and though I don’t know all the
words of the spell exactly, I think I’ve found a way to escape.
I’ll have to practice on a servant first.
Practice on a servant. That brought back
something Ruby had said, Chevelle would have to practice the
unbinding spell on someone else first. Would he use one of our
group? And if the spell went wrong?
I tested the spell on Rain last night. I’m
not sure what went amiss but she convulsed for hours before she
fell into a sleep. She finally rose late this morning but she
couldn’t remember who she was and she kept scratching at her face
until it bled. At least she’ll not be able to tell anyone I did it.
I’ll have to catch another servant tonight.
No, I had a feeling he’d not be using one of
our group. I was starting to get sleepy but didn’t want to put the
book down.
This one worked. Dree’s nose bled for the
first few minutes but after that she slept soundly and woke just
before noon knowing she had missed nothing. Tomorrow, I try it on
my watcher.
Watcher
. I fell asleep with her words in my thoughts. My imagination
had filled in all the blanks, let the fear I’d been suppressing
creep in, take over. It turned her words into my nightmares.
Watchers and trackers, tassels and robes, Chevelle’s furious gaze
as he pushed me from the cliff again.
Chevelle. My watcher
.
“
Frey.” I jerked as Ruby
woke me at dawn, urging me to stand for a few moments before we
were back on the horses.
I was exhausted again, so I
hung back from the group as we rode. Steed slowed to ride with me.
I watched as Ruby and Grey bantered ahead. “Steed, why
aren’t
they
together?”
He sighed; I didn’t think he enjoyed
discussing his sister’s personal life. “Ruby. She doesn’t believe
she can get close to anyone… that way.”
I considered the way she was with me, as if
she wanted us to be close, the way she touched Steed, sat near him.
“Why?”
“
Past
experiences.”
Yes, she’d killed her mother. And how many
others? What had she said, until a pattern became noticeable? I
shivered at the thought. “Poison.”
He nodded silently in acknowledgement.
“
In the village, some of the
elves never paired up.” I thought of Junnie’s family. “But I guess
most of those had received the calling.”
Grey scoffed ahead of us.
I hadn’t realized he could hear us, our
conversation about him and Ruby. I was embarrassed but couldn’t
stop myself. “What?”
He slowed to ride beside us as he spoke. “The
calling.”
I didn’t understand, it had been a thing of
honor, he regarded it as if it were a joke. My expression plainly
called for his explanation.
“
Do you really believe such
nonsense?”
“
What nonsense?”
“
The calling?”
“
It isn’t
real
?”
He let out a harsh laugh and
I jerked back self-consciously. “Oh, I suppose it’s real.
The
service
is
real. But honestly, Freya, don’t you see?”
“
See what?” I cursed my
bound brain.
“
Grand Council.”
I drew a sharp breath at the words. He shook
his head slightly.
“
The truth of the calling is
simply service to Grand Council. A hundred years of servitude under
the guise of duty and honor.” I must have looked disbelieving.
“What is honorable about doing their bidding?”
“
So, you… you don’t… answer
the call?” I was searching.
He almost roared with laughter. “No. We do
not answer.” He settled a bit as he continued, “They do not call.”
At that, Steed joined in lightly.