Forgiven (19 page)

“You can’t miss your cruise! I’ll be fine, I just need to rest for a little bit,” I assured her. I heard my phone beep for the sixth time since we’d left for the hospital. I knew it was probably Caleb, but I just didn’t feel up to texting him back. What was I going to tell him?

“Angie, you can’t honestly think I’d leave you alone this week? My parents will understand. Come on, we can talk after you sleep the pain meds off,” she said, leading me to my room and helping me into bed.

“Okay…” I said as my eyes closed. The last thing I remembered was Emily covering me up, closing the door behind her as she left.

The next thing I knew, I could hear arguing coming from the living room.

“What do you mean ‘it isn’t a good time’?” I heard an angry voice yell, but my head was still groggy.

“She’s sleeping,” Emily said nervously.

“I’m not doing this shit again with you again, Emily. You can’t keep me from seeing my girlfriend. She said she wasn’t feeling well so I came to see her,” the voice argued.

“She’s fine. I’ll have her call you when she wakes up,” Emily said in a rush.

“Emily, what the fuck are you hiding from me?” the voice yelled.

“You can’t go in there,” Emily yelled.

“The hell I can’t.” My bedroom swung open as the person turned on the light, and I finally realized the voice belonged to Caleb.

“What the fuck is her deal, Angie?” he yelled. When he caught sight of my face he froze. His eyes roved over my bruised face, and down to my arm. Before I could answer, he moved into the room and kneeled next to my bed.

“Holy shit, baby! What the fuck happened?” Caleb demanded.

I saw Emily standing in the doorway. “I’m sorry Angie, I tried to stop him.”

I looked at her, but I was still kind of out of it. She looked so sad and her eyes pleaded with me to forgive her for letting Caleb in. I knew she was worried about me. I also knew I would’ve had to tell Caleb sooner or later—I just never imagined him finding out this way.

“It’s okay, Em.” I nodded, understanding that she felt guilty for not stopping Caleb from coming into my room.

“You still haven’t answered my question. What the fuck happened?” Caleb demanded, his tone softening slightly.

“I’ll leave you two alone,” Emily said, as she walked out and closed the door.

“Angie, you need to answer me and you need to do it now…before I fucking lose it,” Caleb fumed. I could see him clenching his jaw as he tried to control his temper.

I looked into his eyes and took a deep breath before starting. “I’m staying with Em this summer, so I went home to pick up the last of the things that I’d left in my room.” I felt the tears starting to run down my face. “I didn’t expect him to be there.”

Caleb took hold of my good hand. “Didn’t expect who to be there?”

“My dad…he was supposed to be working.” I started fidgeting with the blanket on my bed. I wasn’t sure how to tell Caleb about this part of my life. “He was supposed to be at work. But he was home,” I whispered. “He was…drunk. I shook my head. “I’ve never seen him that crazy before.” The tears started to blur my vision. I stopped to take a deep breath and get control of my emotions. “He accused me of sleeping around town.” I looked away, embarrassed to admit that. “I’ve never seen him that bad before and he wanted to know why I wasn’t helping him pay the bills.” I put my hands out, willing him to understand. “I tried to explain that I wasn’t home ‘cause I was going to school and he…he…” I started sobbing uncontrollably.

Caleb got up and sat down on the bed beside me. He pulled me onto his lap. “Shh, baby, it’s okay…don’t cry.”

He began to rub circles on my back as he tried to calm me down, but it didn’t work. So instead he just held me until my sobs subsided. He tangled one hand in my hair, leaving the other wrapped around me. Then he turned my face towards his and used his thumbs to wipe away my tears.

“Baby, why didn’t you tell me before?” he asked, the saddest look in his eyes.

“Tell you what? That my father’s an alcoholic, and I didn’t grow up with a perfect home life,” I said sarcastically.

He nodded and even though he seemed sad, I could still see his anger, simmering beneath the surface.

I sighed. “He’s been drinking since my mom left when I was seven. Before now it was always just name calling, usually a…a…a whore,” I stuttered, my eyes tearing up. I looked away from him.

“He’s never laid a hand on me before.” I pulled my wrist up to my chest, protecting it and trying to ward off the memories. “But he was…
different
this time. He usually waited until after work to start drinking, but he told me he lost his job…oh, and that I needed to help him pay the bills. He said I should be making enough money on my back.” I couldn’t look at Caleb, afraid of what I would see. I was so ashamed telling him this—I didn’t want him to think less of me.

“He started hitting me when I told him I didn’t have any money to give him,” I sobbed.

He turned my face back to his. The look in his eyes was all I needed to see. Caleb wasn’t going to run because of what I just told him. “Oh baby, I’m so sorry. I would have gone with you if I had known.”

“I know, but I thought he’d be at work and I could just avoid him,” I sniffed.

He gently lifted my wrapped up wrist. “Is it broken?”

“No, Emily took me to the ER. They did X-rays and it’s just a bad sprain. They gave me pain meds.”

He looked nervous about asking his next question. “Did you call the police?”

“Yeah, they came to the hospital, took pictures…and my statement,” I said sadly.

He lightly touched the bruises on my cheek. “You’ve been living with this for the last thirteen years? You have to be the strongest person I know.”

“I told you, bad things happen to good people. I learned a long time ago to forgive—forgive my mom for leaving, my dad for not being able to cope, and the system for not figuring it out and saving me from the nightmare that was my life.”

He looked at me incredulously. “You are truly amazing.”

We sat in silence for a few minutes, while Caleb rocked me gently back and forth. “Can I ask you a question?”

I shrugged, I had nothing left to hide at this point. “Sure.”

“You’re still a virgin…because of the things your dad accused you of growing up?”

I felt my face blush. “Mostly, I didn’t want to actually become the whore he accused me of being.”

“How could you ever think you’d be a whore?” he asked angrily.

“When you grow up hearing the same thing all the time, it’s kinda hard to think different,” I whispered.

Caleb cupped my face with both hands and kissed me on the side of my lips, away from the split. “Just remember, if and when you feel you are ready, I would be honored to be your first.”

I felt the tears pool in my eyes and I smiled at him.

“You need to get some rest,” he said as he lowered me to the bed. “We’ll talk more when you wake up.”

I didn’t want him to go. “I know you’re leaving in the morning, but will you stay with me until I fall asleep?”

He gave me a puzzled look. “Leaving?” He shrugged his shoulders and got into bed with me. I was too tired to ask about it. I turned into him so that I could lay my sprained wrist across his chest and before I knew it I was asleep.

When I got Angie’s text that she wasn’t feeling well, I figured I’d stop by her place and see if she needed anything. Then when I got there and Emily tried to stop me from seeing her, I was livid. I wasn’t sure if Emily was just being bitchy, or if Angie was hiding something. Walking into her room…seeing the bruises on her face…I felt like someone had stabbed me in the gut. How could anyone hurt
my
Angie?

I couldn’t believe she had been growing up with this shit her whole life. I just wanted to punch something. I should have seen this coming. Josh had mentioned something about her home life a while ago, but I had been so intent on keeping her at arm’s length that I never truly paid attention.

No wonder Angie forgave easily—she’s been forgiving her dad for his bullshit her entire life. I’m glad that she called the police, but knowing Angie, Emily probably had to make her do it. I hoped they threw the bastard in jail. I know I didn’t want to run into him—I wasn’t sure I’d be able to keep my temper in check.

I watched Angie sleeping on my chest and realized I had never felt so protective in my life. All I wanted to do was keep her from feeling this kind of physical and emotional pain ever again. She looked so battered, I was afraid to even kiss her for fear of hurting her. When her breathing evened out and I knew she was in a deep sleep, I moved her from my chest and slid out from underneath her. I wanted to talk to Emily.

When I walked out into the living room, I saw Emily sitting on the couch. I could tell she had been crying.

“How is she?” she sniffed.

I sighed. “She’s asleep right now. Emily, how long has this been going on?”

I saw the tears building in her eyes. “The verbal abuse has been going on since she was little, but this is the first time he has ever laid a hand on her.”

I clenched my fists at my sides. “He will never lay another fucking hand on her again.”

“I had to make her call the police,” Emily said sadly.

“I figured as much. It’s not in her nature to do something that will hurt someone else, even if it is in her best interest. Why didn’t she tell me before?” I asked sitting down next to her.

She sighed. “She didn’t even tell me until near the end of last year. Part of me believes she only told me because I was in our dorm room when she came home from her dad’s house in tears one night.” Her eyes glazed over like she was lost in the memory before she shook her head. “She doesn’t want to be defined by what she grew up in. Besides she’s supposed to stay with me this summer.”

“I wish she would have told me. I would have gone with her to get her stuff.” I said sadly.

“I told her not to go,” she frowned.

I nodded and pulled out my phone to send a quick text to Josh.

Me: Gonna have to skip the trip

“I thought you were supposed to be on a cruise with your parents?” I asked. My phone buzzed in my hand.

Josh: WTF?

Me: Angie’s sick needs someone to stay w/ her

“I am…I was. I told them I was going to stay here with Angie. I can’t leave her alone right now,” she replied.

“She won’t be alone,” I assured her. It didn’t take Josh long to answer, I knew he would be pissed, but he was going to have to get over it.

Josh: Dude?!?!

Me: Get Nick to go.

“You’re going to the coast, so if I don’t stay with her who will?” she asked sarcastically.

Josh: Fine but you better explain.

I put my phone in my pocket and looked over at her. “If you think for one moment that I am going on that trip after what happened, you are out of your goddamn mind,” I growled.

“You’re not going?” she asked, surprised.

“Do you really think I would leave her?” I asked sadly. “Seeing her like that was like a knife twisting in my gut. I haven’t cared about anyone the way I care about Angie in a long time.”

Emily put her hand on my arm, “Caleb, you can’t hurt her again. She has been through so much already. I don’t know how much more she can take. Promise me, you won’t hurt her.”

I looked her directly in the eyes and took a deep breath, “I promise I won’t hurt her. I’m going to take care of her.”

I was scared to death of the promise I’d made Emily. Angie meant a lot to me and I was not going to fuck it up, but I hadn’t done so well in the past. We sat in silence for a few minutes, as we both absorbed all that had happened in the last few hours.

“Emily, I think you should go with your parents. You still have time to make it to their house before you’re supposed to fly out tomorrow morning, right?”

“Yeah, but I feel bad leaving her,” she admitted.

“You know as well as I do, that if you stay she is going to feel worse, because she’s going to feel guilty that you missed your cruise,” I reminded her.

“What about
your
trip?” she asked.

“It was only a quick trip to the coast, Nick can go in my place. He was supposed to go originally anyway. I know he won’t mind,” I assured her.

“I guess he bailed after the fight?” she smirked.

“You could say that. Please go, I’ll take care of her,” I promised.

She sat there for a few minutes. I could see on her face that she was trying to decide. “If you’re sure, but make she understands why I went, okay?”

“Trust me she’ll understand, but I’ll make sure she knows. I’m going to take her back to my place tomorrow. That way she doesn’t have to deal with being on campus.”

Emily got up and started to head for her room, “I need to get on the road then. Call me if anything happens.”

I got up and followed her down the hallway, “I will, but right now I’m going to go back and lie down with her. I don’t want her to wake up and think I left.”

Emily turned fully around and gave me a sad smile, “Thank you, Caleb.” She squared her shoulders and cleared her throat. “She was right about you.”