As I stare at the man in front of me, my heart races, my palms sweat, and my stomach fills with an insanely obnoxious amount of butterflies. He looks like a dream, and the thought that he might be—that I might actually be losing my mind right now—makes me want to cry. My eyes well up with tears, tears that are soon falling down my cheeks as I try blinking my eyes clear. The last thing I want is for my view of him to be obscured. He looks…like the most
gorgeous
man I have
ever
seen in my
entire
life. It’s actually quite unfair, his level of attractiveness. No one should be allotted
that
much of an advantage. It’s practically a weapon. It might even be borderline illegal. I mean, it’s got to be.
He has a beard now, and it’s sexy as I don’t know what. My eyes linger on his lips, wondering how it would feel to kiss him now—wondering if it would tickle. Then, his mouth twitches in what might be a smile, and my eyes shoot up to meet his dark, grey irises. It isn’t until our eyes lock that I realize that he hasn’t said a word. I’m not sure how much time has passed, but when I become aware that my toes have grown cold, I begin to believe that this is not a dream after all. And yet, his silence makes me question why he’s here.
Then, his hand is gripping the back of my neck and my body is being crushed against his as he wraps his arm around my waist. Before my brain can register all that is happening, his lips are pressed firmly against mine, and in an instant—I’m putty in his hands.
He kisses me like he’s never kissed me before, like he’s desperate and anxious and scared to let me go. He forces his tongue into my mouth and I moan, the warm, wet sensation causing an all too familiar ache between my legs. My hands grip the lapels of his jacket, my fingers holding on as tightly as I can manage. His beard scratches my skin, and I can feel it as my lips begin to swell, but I never want this kiss to end—not ever. For I, too, am afraid that if it does—if he pulls away—that he’ll vanish as quickly as he appeared.
“Fuck, I’ve missed you so much,” he mutters, his lips still touching mine.
I exhale a whimper, my whole body abuzz with his declaration, but I don’t repeat the words. I can’t. He’s rendered me speechless. Instead, I circle my arms around his neck and hug him close, allowing him to smother me in kisses.
He lets go of my neck, leaning into me as he bends me back enough to reach the back of my thighs—just below my ass. He encourages me off my feet, guiding my legs around him. I lock my ankles at his back, and he holds me close. There’s an itty bitty voice somewhere in my head that’s wondering what I’m doing? Wondering what he’s doing? Wondering what this means, why he’s here, and why
now?
But I ignore it. I don’t care.
I don’t give a single shit.
Judah Danyl St. Michaels—my love—my forever—he’s
here
.
When he finally pulls away from me, his eyes devour my face as we both try to catch our breath. The smoke clouds that puff from our mouths must alert him that we’re still standing outside, on the front porch, in the freezing cold snow. He’s quick to step inside, closing the door behind him. He doesn’t put me down. Not that I would let him, but I’m overwhelmingly happy that he doesn’t even try.
Once he’s satisfied to have me inside and out of the cold, he brings his eyes back to meet my gaze. A slight frown tugs at his brow and he shakes his head before resting his forehead against mine.
“I had a speech,” he whispers, coughing out a soft laugh. “Then I saw you and I could only think of one thing that I actually wanted you to hear.”
The sound of his voice and the feel of his breath against my face has my heart still racing. As I reach up to cup my hands around his cheeks, I notice that I’m shaking. I ignore it, only wishing to hear whatever it is that he has to say.
“What?” I murmur. “Tell me.”
He moves his head and looks into my eyes before he states, “I love you.”
I burst into a sob immediately. It’s loud and completely embarrassing, but it won’t be silenced. I can feel my cheeks heat up in a blush as I bury my face under his chin. He adjusts his arms around me, squeezing me tighter as he presses a kiss against my neck.
“I love you, Theodora. I’ll tell you everyday, sweetheart. I was a fucking fool to let you walk away from me. You’re mine—you’re
mine
,” he mumbles against my skin.
“I love you, too. So much.
So much
.” I barely get the words out, and I can only hope he can get the gist until I manage to pull myself together.
“Well,
this
is interesting and completely unexpected.”
I hear Harper, but there’s not a chance in hell I’m pulling away from Judah, so I don’t move to look at her. I feel it as Jude turns to face her, and when his lips leave my skin before he speaks.
“I’m going to take her now,” he tells my sister. “We’ll be back in the morning.”
“Breakfast is at nine. You better not be late.” I don’t even have to look at her to see her arched eyebrow and her threatening stare. Something tells me that she won’t let Judah back into her good graces just yet. I get that. I love her for that. But I love him far too much to make him pay the way I’m sure she will.
And he loves me.
He loves me!
“Nine o’clock. We’ll be here.”
“Well, well, well—look who’s here,” says Ben.
His cocky welcome makes me curious, and I lift my face to look at Judah’s. He pays his brother no mind, shifting his attention to me. I’m probably a mess of snot and tears, but his gaze makes me feel beautiful.
“Grab what you need, sweetheart. I’m taking you home. Tonight, you’re all mine.”
“I’m all yours forever,” I whisper, touching my nose to his.
He kisses my lips in response before I manage to let him go. I race upstairs, wiping my face as I go, and grab my coat and my purse as I slip my feet into my boots. I’m back at Judah’s side in less than a minute, my fingers wrapped around his, feeling as giddy as a little girl on Christmas morning.
“Tell mom and dad where I am?” I ask Harper.
“Of course,” she says with a smile and a wink. “See you tomorrow.”
“Ready?” asks Jude, giving my fingers a squeeze.
Just the thought of going to his home and being alone with him makes my insides stir with a fierce desire I thought would never be quenched again. Knowing now that I’ll be reunited with the man who has always brought me more pleasure than I ever imagined possible, I can hardly wait to get out of here.
“Please,” I breathe.
He drops my hand and grips the back of my neck, leaning down to press a kiss against my temple as he says, “Let’s go, sweetheart.”
When she opened that door, my heart about leapt from my chest. I had come to terms with the fact that I longed for her, that I missed her terribly and I needed her back in my life—but I didn’t realize how deep in denial I’ve been all this time until I saw my shy girl in front of me. If I hadn’t already admitted to myself that I’m without a doubt in love with the woman, seeing her there—dressed in a red, oversized, plaid button-down and a pair of black leggings, her hair piled on top of her head in a mess of gorgeous, vibrant locks—I would have admitted it all over again.
I wasn’t sure how I’d be received. After my encounter with Geoffrey a few days ago, I was well aware that our time apart had been hard on her. I prepared myself for the worst. When she started crying, speechless at the sight of me, I knew there was only one thing she needed to hear me say—what she had begged me to say four weeks ago.
Now, as I drive us toward home, her fingers laced with mine in my lap, I can’t stop myself from glancing over at her every other minute. Each time I do, she smiles shyly at me and my dick stirs excitedly. I can hardly wait to bury myself inside of her, to claim her as mine once again. She belongs to me. She always has; and now, she always will.
I let her walk away from me, thinking that she had made the
wrong
choice, when all along, it was me that was wrong. She chose me. She chose love. She chose forever. And I chose to let her go, stubborn in my belief that she would change her mind, as mankind is so oft to do. Yet, what I’ve come to learn is this—I’m incapable of changing my mind about Theodora. If she feels even a fraction for me what I feel for her, her choice—her
love
is to be trusted.
We don’t speak much during our car ride back to Fort Collins, as if seeing each other and being in each other’s presence is enough for now. Not to mention, the past month isn’t exactly a pleasant conversation topic. It seems ridiculous to ask how each other has been, both of us knowing the answer isn’t favorable. I’m not naïve. I’m sure the topic will be broached, just not while we’re too busy enjoying
now
.
“Where are we going? I thought you were taking me to your place.”
“I am,” I assure her, bringing her hand up to kiss the back of her palm. “But one of your Christmas gifts was delivered to your apartment. We’re stopping there first.”
“You—you bought me gifts? Judah, I didn’t—”
“I have much to apologize for,” I mutter honestly. “My gifts to you are the least I can do, and I don’t want to hear another thing about it.”
She extends my arm as she brings my hand to her lips before kissing the back of my palm. A smirk tugs at my lips and she giggles softly. I love the sound. I’ve
missed
that sound.
When we arrive at her apartment complex, I park in a vacant spot just in front of her building, and we waste no time heading to her door. I pretend as though I don’t have her spare key, and wait patiently for her to dig for hers. After she finds it and we gain entry into her unit, she sets one foot inside before she gasps. She then takes two steps back, colliding into me, and I slide my hands around her waist, easing her inside.
“Judah?”
“Yes, sweetheart?”
“Where are all of my things?”
Her apartment is completely empty, save the dozens of vases filled with hundreds of red roses that occupy just about every square inch of the main room. When I told Geoffrey that I needed access to her apartment in order to deliver a rather large gift, what I neglected to mention was that I’d also be taking all of her possessions
out
. It took the movers just a few hours to pack all of her things, delivering a handful of boxes to my house, and the rest to a storage unit I rented nearby.
I don’t answer her question right away. Alternatively, I reach inside of my coat pocket and pull out the small envelope I scribbled my note on when I ordered the flowers. I hand it to her and she twists around to look up at me curiously before taking it and opening it.
“Jude,” she murmurs, turning around in my arms. Her eyes are brimming with tears again, and I bring my palms to her cheeks, holding her face, ready to catch any that fall.
“I’ve spent the last thirty-two nights in bed alone. I have no intention of enduring such loneliness again. Your things are someplace safe, ready for you to sort through at your convenience. All that you need is now at my place. Our home.”
“Holy shit,” she breathes. “We—wait—we—we live together now?”
“Yes.”
She chokes out a surprised laugh, shaking her head as if to clear it. I don’t let go of her face, and she grips onto my wrists as she looks at me in awe.
“What would you have done if I said no? If I didn’t take you back?”
I lean down and press a kiss against her lips before I reply, “I’m your forever. I wasn’t worried.”
“You’re so full of yourself,” she teases with a laugh, grinning up at me.
I offer her a sly grin in response. “When I get you home,
you’ll
be full of myself, too.”
Her smile slips as her grip around my wrists tightens. She lifts herself up on her tiptoes as she whispers, “
Home…
”
Hearing her say the word is surreal. Since I put this plan in motion, it feels as if this day wouldn’t come fast enough. Now she’s here. With me.
Fuck. I’m so fucking fucked.
I press my lips against hers, needing to taste her, wishing to feel the warmth of her mouth. When I flick my tongue out, she opens up for me with a sigh, reaching up to wrap her arms around my neck. I drop my hands to the small of her back, pulling her body flush against mine. I can’t get her close enough, and the layers of clothes that stand between us are maddening, making me all the more anxious to get out of here.