Flawed Beauty (13 page)

Round and round, spinning and
spinning.
The angel’s smile was as bright as always. Her hands were warm and secure. She
made me feel safe… and loved. I smiled up into her splendid face and she smiled
back.

“Be careful and don’t wander off the
path. You promise?” the angel asked.

I nodded solemnly to the angel. I’d
promise her anything as long as she didn’t let go of my hand. She smiled down
at me and we walked together down a path, it was a little dark and scary and I
giggled to cover my fright. From far off in the distance, I saw sunlight at the
entrance of our enclosed space. Peering as hard as I can, I saw a sign the
color of oranges. I can’t read the words but know some of the letters. But
suddenly, I know exactly what the sign says – The Lost Sea, Sweetwater,
Tennessee.

Tate jerked awake. How strange. She
smiled at how funny the mind was. She’d just seen the picture
Jace’s
roommate had taken with that same orange sign and
her mind incorporated it into her dreams. Maybe it was the family thing and
she’d just been wishing for a normal family – like the ones who would go to the
Lost Sea in Sweetwater, Tennessee.

She rose and stretched. She wondered
how long she’d been asleep.

She was surprised to find
Jace
sitting on the couch with an amber-colored drink in a
crystal glass pressed against his temple. It was one of the few times she’d
ever seen him drink.

“
Jace
?”
she said quietly.

He jerked his head in her direction.
His eyes and his smile were strained.

“What’s the matter? What happened?”
she asked.

He tossed the rest of his drink into
his mouth before answering. “Nothing…
work
. I lost my
first patient tonight.”

She sat down next to him and laid
her hand on his thigh. “I’m so sorry.”

He blew a huge puff of air out of
his mouth.
“Me too.
Ms.
Nettlemeyer
had cancer. We all knew it was coming. She’d come through the ER too many times
to count. It’s better for her, really. She’s not suffering anymore. She was
just a sweet old lady who deserved better, that’s all. Life can be so unfair
sometimes.”

“It really can,” she murmured
comfortingly. Her heart burst with love for this man who cared so deeply about
one little old lady.

“The thing that got me the most was
she was all alone. I hated that. It was the saddest thing I’d ever witnessed.”

Tate understood alone. Would she die
alone like Ms.
Nettlemeyer
? Would she at least have
someone like
Jace
to come and hold her hand until she
passed to the other side?

“I’m glad you were there. I’m sure
it was comforting to her.”

He shrugged his shoulders and
exhaled heavily. “I hope so,” he said quietly.

Drawing himself back into the world
of the living, he nudged her with his shoulder.

“What did you do while I was gone?
You looked so cute all tangled up in my sheets. I didn’t have the heart to wake
you.”

“Nothing much.
Looked at some things online and
apparently took a nap.”

He stared into her eyes for such a
long time and with such intensity, she was finally forced to look away. He
lifted a hand and placed it tenderly against her cheek.

“You are so beautiful,” he murmured.

She blushed and closed her eyes as
he drew close to her. His lips were soft, yet firm against hers. With his free
hand, he grazed the angles of her face with his fingertips. Easing his fingers
into her unruly curls, he pulled her closer into him and deepened the kiss. She
could taste the remnants of his drink and felt the coolness from the ice cubes
which still lingered. He licked into her mouth softly – easy and gentle. There
was no rush, no force, no pressure; only tenderness.

He slowly eased her down until she
was lying on her back on the couch and he was over her, shrouding her body with
his own. She wrapped her arms around him. Her heart began to pound as he kissed
her. It seemed to twist within her chest at the emotion he evoked, just from a
kiss. Needing him closer still, she tightened her arms and arched her body up
into his. He groaned into her mouth and shifted his hips against her. She felt
the pressure of his erection through the cloth of his scrubs. Involuntarily,
her own hips rose up and rubbed against it. She ran her hands up under his
shirt to feel his bare skin.

His kiss became more intense, more
urgent, and unhurriedly, he lowered his hands and ran them over the length of
her torso, then brought them back to gently cup her breasts. Through the
barriers of her clothes, he rubbed his fingers against her nipples, causing her
to gasp.

“I want you,” he whispered, “I
need
you,” he emphasized.

She moaned at the effect his words
had on her body. She wanted
him,
she needed him just
as much, but was too shy to say anything. This was all new territory for her.
When he started to pull back, she tightened her arms even further, wanting to
keep the contact of his hard body against hers.

“I don’t want to do this here. Come
with me,” he said raggedly as he rose and held out a hand to her. Without the
cloak of invisibility passion had thrown over her, her stomach twisted
nervously. But she wanted this memory of him – of them. She hoped tonight would
be different from the others. She wanted it to be special with him – this
dazzling, sexy, humble, softhearted man. With her hands trembling, she placed
one in his and allowed him to pull her to her feet. He wrapped his arms around
once more and pressed his lips against hers.

Pulling back to look into her eyes,
he seemed to hesitate.

Softly he asked, “Tate, before we go
any further, for your sake, I need to know, have you ever done this before?”

A rush of cold water seemed to flow
over her body, causing her to shiver. With her eyes downcast, she whispered
ashamedly, “Yes.”

He lifted her head with a finger to
her chin. “We’re going to be so good together,” he whispered against her lips.
Without another word, he turned and led her into his bedroom. He shut the door
behind them, effectively darkening the room; the only light being a small
sliver which filtered through the curtains. He intertwined both her hands
within his and raised them shoulder-level and pressed her up against the door.
He eased into her and slowly traced an outline with his tongue around her lips.
With a groan, he thrust his tongue into her mouth, making her gasp. As their
tongues mated, he lowered his hands and reached for the hem of her shirt. She
raised her arms up to allow him to pull it over her head. He reached behind her
and unfastened her bra. She was amazed at his ability to perform such a task in
the darkness. It also pushed all her insecurities to the surface. His deftness
in removing women’s clothing was a learned behavior. How many women had he been
with? How would she compare with them? A shiver ran up her spine as she
struggled to push down her fear of disappointing him.

He wasted no time in unfastening her
jeans. He leisurely brushed kisses along her
jawline
and down her neck. He grasped both breasts within his palms and leaned down to
stroke her nipples with his tongue before sucking one, then taking the other
into his mouth. The
shiver running through her body this time
was from desire, and not fear
. He lowered himself to his knees and
licked down the indent in the center of her belly to her bellybutton. He slowly
pushed her jeans down and untangled them from her feet, leaving her standing in
her panties.

Rising, he pulled her with him to
the bed and stepped away. In the darkness, she heard a drawer open and the
crinkle of foil, then the rustle of clothing as he undressed. He returned to
her, and with the lightest of touches, he ran his fingertips over the
silhouette of her body, causing her to tremble. He turned her to face him,
licked his way back into her mouth, and without breaking the kiss, he lowered
them to the bed. She felt the heat from his naked body against her own bared
skin. Again, as if he had all the time in the world, he began the journey down
her body. She inhaled sharply when his hands found her panties and slowly
lowered them down her thighs.

Once she was completely naked, he rose
once more over her and kissed her sweetly. He brushed his fingertips softly
against the angles of her face. Her stomach ached as she waited for the
inevitable slam of his body into hers, of his hands holding her down by her
shoulders.

He brushed his fingertips over her
eyes and murmured, “Keep them closed, okay?”

She swallowed and nodded. Praying it
would be different this time.

Removing his body from hers, he sat
up and sensually ran his fingers slowly down her neck, over her shoulders, and
sinfully over her breasts, making her gasp and arch her back at the tantalizing
sensation. With her eyes closed, the glide of his fingers seemed even more
intensified as every one of her senses seemed focus on where he was and the
texture of his fingertips on her tingling skin. He swirled his fingertips over
the soft, taut skin of her stomach, and backing off the bed, he ran them slowly
down her thighs and shins. Starting at the arch of her foot, he ran the tip of
his tongue up her leg, slowly, ever so slowly, causing her breathing to become
erratic and fast. Her stomach clenched when he reached the inside of her thigh.
She nearly bolted from the bed at the feel of his wicked tongue against the
folds of her most intimate core. She cried out and thrashed against the rioting
sensation he created within her. How could she have ever thought
Jace
would be like any of the others? They’d just held her
down and pounded mindlessly into her, while
Jace
worshiped her body. He was more intent on her pleasure than his own.

As he licked and stroked her with
his tongue, the pressure began to rise in her and she tangled her fingers in
his hair to bring him closer into her. As her passion ignited, he became
agitated and aggressive, more frenzied in his administrations of her until with
one last flick of his tongue, she bucked against him as tension within her
reached its breaking point.

Breathing heavily and trying to
regain control, he once again continued licking his way back up her body. He
lapped at her nipples and nipped them to the point of near pain with his teeth
before soothing them once again with his tongue. He drifted one hand down to
her sex and parted the soft folds. She arched her back and tangled her fingers
into his short hair. As he probed her with his fingers so intimately, she was
filled with such conflicting feelings: she was on fire, but shivered in need;
she wanted the pleasure to continue, but needed resolution. She was filled with
need and want for something she wasn’t sure of. The intensity of the feelings scared
her, invigorated her. She arched her back and writhed beneath him as the
intensity built within her again.

“Oh, God!
Please, please,” she begged,
forgetting everything except his lips, his hands, and his body.

His chest heaving from the effort to
restrain himself, he lifted himself off her for just a few seconds to sheath
himself
with a condom, then returned the heat of his body
back to hers. He lowered his hands to her thighs and raised her knees up. He
settled his body in the cradle her legs created. Capturing her face within his
hands, he kissed her gently.

Against her lips, he whispered
brokenly, “I’ve wanted you from the moment I turned and saw you picking up
those damned bottles of water.”

Flames of desire and confidence as
never before licked up body at his words. He wanted
her
. She wasn’t just
a vessel for him to relieve himself in, as it’d been for all the others.

Thrusting his tongue once more into
her mouth, he placed his manhood at the entrance of her body. She trembled at
the intimate touch and tangled her hands in his hair, needing relief from the
building pressure within. She arched her hips to further the contact. He seemed
to hesitate and she once more arched her hips to encourage more of him.

Breaking the kiss, he whispered
raggedly against her ear. “Are you sure? We can stop.”

“No, don’t stop. Please, don’t
stop,” she whispered huskily.

“Thank God,” he groaned.

She whimpered when he raised his
hips from her. An instant later, he grabbed her hips to keep her positioned
where he wanted and then eased himself into her trembling and overheated body –
inch by titillating inch. She gloried in the feel of him buried deep within
her. They were joined as one. She belonged to him – no matter what happened in
the future, in this moment in time, she belonged to him. She tensed slightly at
the unusual and tight feel of him inside her. Gasping as he struggled to
maintain, he stopped to allow her body time to adjust to his. He wrapped his
hands around her face once more and kissed her deeply and passionately.

Lifting slightly from her lips with
his voice trembling, he asked, “Okay?”