Flawed Beauty (12 page)

More slaps against her cheeks, then
a harsh, clipped voice began to shout her name, “Tate. Damn it, Tate. Wake up!”

Slowly, she opened her eyes. As she
squinted against the light in the room, she saw
Jace
leaning over her, his mouth set in a grim line. She saw tendrils of panic in
his face. What was wrong? What could have upset him so much? When he once again
began to slap her face, she clumsily brushed his hand away.
The slapping
hurt, damn it.

“Tate, can you hear me? What did you
take?”

Her brain foggy, she struggled to
sit up, but he kept pushing her back down.

“Damn it,
Jace
.
Let me up,” she slurred.

“What did you take, Tate?” he
demanded.

Take? What kind of a question was
that? Then she remembered. “Sleeping tablets,” she murmured.

“How many?” he asked brusquely.

What was his problem? He was
beginning to make her mad.
“Two, damn you.
I took
two.”

“How long ago did you take them?”

Lifting a hand slowly to her brow,
she struggled to concentrate. “What time is it now?” she asked groggily.

“Eight,”
came
the clipped answer.

“Don’t you have to work this
morning?”

“Eight p.m., Tate. It’s nighttime.”

“Eight… at night?
How can that be?” she muttered to
herself.

Jace
slapped her cheeks again.

“Damn it,
Jace
.
Stop that.”

This time, more forcibly, she pushed
his hands away and struggled into a sitting position. She struggled to lick her
lips, to relieve the overwhelming cotton-mouth she possessed.

“Can I have a glass of water,
please?”

Jace
grabbed the glass off her dresser
and raised it to his nose.

“Really, Tate?
Sleeping pills and booze do not
mix. You know better. What were you thinking?”

Ignoring his question, she said
again, “Water, please.”

With a huff, he stamped off into the
bathroom. Within seconds, he returned with the glass filled with water.

She took the glass and was surprised
to see how shaky her hands were. She drank greedily – glad to be able to lick
her dry, chapped lips. Her head began to clear as she drank. She watched
Jace
over the rim of her glass. He paced back and forth
while continually running a hand through his short-cropped dark hair. It was no
secret he was exasperated.

“I must have overslept. I’m sorry,”
she murmured.

He stopped suddenly and spun to her,
anger like bright lights shooting from his eyes.

“What the hell is going on here,
Tate? I come by at seven and don’t get an answer. You don’t answer your cell
phone. I look inside and see your laptop smashed on the floor. I break down
your door, expecting to find you dead – hacked up into little pieces or
something. But no, instead, I find you passed out cold. I don’t understand.
Please make me understand. Please tell me you weren’t trying to kill yourself…
or that you don’t have some sort of drug/alcohol problem. I mean, you refuse to
tell me anything about yourself… so I really don’t know.” He ended abruptly and
inhaled deeply in an obvious attempt to regain some internal balance.

“I wasn’t…. I didn’t… I don’t,” she
stammered.

“Well, please tell what the hell is
going on,” he shouted.

Thinking of all the reasons she’d
taken the sleeping pills, she couldn’t find one she was willing to share with
him. She studiously avoided his eyes and remained silent.

With a shouted oath, he stormed out
of the room. Her hands began to tremble even more, so she set the glass down on
the bedside table. She scrubbed her face with her hands. Her fit of anger and
self-pity had been costly. It’d cost her a laptop and most likely,
Jace
. Not that he was ever hers to begin with.

Her head snapped back up when she
saw
Jace
storm back into the room.

“Why is there no damn food in this
house? How do you eat? Do you even bother to eat? Get up now and get dressed.
I’m taking you to my place so you can eat.”

Deep color infused her cheeks. She
was embarrassed that he’d found out she couldn’t even afford food.

“I don’t….”

He cut her off before she got three
words out of her mouth.

“I don’t give a damn what you do or
don’t want. You obviously have no idea how to take care of yourself. Instead of
buying that bottle of booze and those pills, did you ever consider buying some
food?” he admonished.

“It wasn’t… it was a gift…” she once
again stumbled for the words to make him stop being so angry.

“Just get up and get dressed. I’ll
wait for you in the kitchen. You have five minutes, Tate. Five minutes or I’ll
take you as you are.” With those words, he turned on his heel and stalked out
of the room.

She felt better once she splashed
cold water on her face. She felt even more human once she brushed her teeth and
hair. Well within her allotted time, she entered into the living room to find
Jace
sitting at her kitchen table, trying to piece together
her laptop.

He looked up and glared at her, but
not as severely as before.

“I put a piece of cardboard in the
windowpane for now. Tomorrow, I’ll have someone come out and replace the glass.
I don’t think your laptop is salvageable though.” With forced calm, he asked,
“What happened here, Tate?”

With a shrug of her shoulders, she
answered quietly, “I was angry about something and took it out on my laptop,
unfortunately.”

“What? What could make you so angry?
Did something happen?”

Looking down at the smashed laptop,
she couldn’t help think of yet another expense she couldn’t afford – but this
one had been at her own hand. She sighed heavily.

She pursed her lips and made a study
out of picking at her hangnail. “I needed some money for school and I couldn’t
find a job that worked in my timeframe – it just… upset me.”

He stared at her a long time trying
to understand her answer. “So smashing your laptop helped how, exactly?” he
asked sarcastically.

With a small shake of her head, she
said, “Not at all. Anger cometh before a fall,” she quoted.

“What did you need the money for?”
he asked.

She felt her hackles begin to rise
at this line of questioning. She’d never accept money from him – if this was
where the conversation was headed.

She rubbed a hand over her eyes. “It
doesn’t matter now. Now how about that food you promised me?”

He studied her for a long time. “You
misquoted,” he said softly.

“What?” she asked, trying to
understand his
comment.

“You misquoted, it’s not anger which
comes before the fall…
it’s
pride.”

She shrugged her shoulders, but made
no comment. He rose from his seat and slowly made his way to her. He tenderly
wrapped his arms around her and rested his head on top of hers.

“You scared me, Tate. I thought you
were dead. I thought I’d lost you forever. Please don’t ever do that again,
okay?” he whispered.

Her eyes prickled and she blinked to
fight back the tears which threatened. She couldn’t remember a time when
someone was actually concerned about
her
wellbeing. She swallowed and
almost soundlessly whispered back, “Okay.”

They didn’t speak on the drive to
Jace’s
apartment, but he reached over and tugged her hand
into his. The contact of his flesh against hers was so comforting. He’d called
in an order for pizza while she’d been getting ready, so they swung by first
and picked it up. She had to admit, the aroma of the pizza in the confines of
the car was almost her undoing. She’d not realized how hungry she was.

The pizza was just as good as the
smell had promised. She ate three slices before the gnawing in her stomach
ceased. He grinned at her as she ate… and she grinned back. They were taking
their plates back to the sink when his phone rang. Slipping it out of his
pocket, he sighed when he read the display.

“I’m sorry, it’s the hospital, I
gotta
take it,” he said as he punched the connect button.

“Dr.
Staton
,”
he answered as he walked away from her into the privacy of another room.

While she waited, Tate rinsed their
plates and loaded them into the dishwasher. She was drying her hands when he
reappeared, his expression grim.

“I’m sorry, but I need to go the
hospital.”

“Oh, ok. No problem. Go. I’ll get
myself home.”

“No, I’d rather you waited for me.
I’ll take you home when I get back. I’d worry otherwise. Okay?”

Against her better judgment, she
nodded her acquiescence. He gave her a quick tour of the apartment.

“Please make yourself at home. My
roommate is out of town for a couple of weeks – so no worries there. I’ll be
back as soon as I can.”

“I’ll be fine. Do you mind if I
borrow your laptop?”

“As long as you don’t throw it on
the floor, of course not,”
he teased.

As she blushed at his comment, he
leaned forward and pressed his lips against hers.

“I’m
sorry,
this isn’t how I envisioned this night, at all.”

“It’s fine,
don’t
worry
… go,” she said, pushing him towards the door. He kissed her
quickly and rushed out.

After he left, Tate wandered
aimlessly through the apartment. In the living room, she spied several
photographs. She assumed they were taken by Sean Devlin,
Jace’s
roommate.
Jace
had been right; he was good. He made
good use of both light and subject. There was one framed picture of the surf
pounding over a group of boulders. The sun had caught the splashes of water and
turned them into diamonds. It was spectacular. She moved further down the
bookcase and inspected each of his photos; he had natural talent. She wondered
if he’d been professionally trained.

The last photo had been taken while
on a family vacation. There were, what she assumed to be, a mother, father, and
either a sister, or girlfriend, all huddled together in front of an orange
sign. They all carried the same relaxing, bright smiles. She brought the
picture closer and the sign looked familiar;
The Lost Sea, Sweetwater,
Tennessee
. Where had she seen it before? To her knowledge, she’d never been
outside Illinois until she came to Gainesville. Absently, as she stared she
rubbed a hand against the tightening knot growing in her stomach. Almost in
self-defense, she shoved the picture back onto the bookcase and backed away
from it. A shiver ran through her body. She assumed it had to do with the
sleeping pills from earlier or maybe having not eaten for nearly twenty-four
hours and then gorging herself. With a small shake of her head, she moved away.

Grabbing
Jace’s
laptop, she went online to see if she could find the required software package
less costly than what the school offered. But it was all similarly priced.
Exhaling deeply, she once again clicked onto the help-wanted job sites. She
looked through the sites seeking waitresses, but most needed someone for the
times she was already working at Zeal’s. She really needed something for the
daytime afternoon hours on Saturday and Sunday. She shoved aside her concern of
when she was supposed to do her homework. She’d learned a long time ago, you
did what you had to.

Next she clicked through the
photographers wanted sections, the graphic designs needed sections, and even
the websites designers needed sections, but for a variety of reasons, she
didn’t qualify for the jobs. Some wanted completed education; some wanted
experience; and some wanted both. Snagging a Post-It from by the phone, she
wrote down some of the contact information anyway – maybe, just maybe,
something would pan out.
The same sickening feeling from
before hit the pit of her stomach.
She logged off the system and
carefully closed the lid with a resounding snap. She didn’t know what she was
going to do. She had to have that program in order to complete the class. This
was one of the times she wished she still had a family – a normal family – and
not the train wreck of a family she actually had.

She rubbed a hand over her gritty
eyes. She rose from the couch and once again roamed restlessly through the
apartment. At the end of the hall was
Jace’s
room.
Even if he’d not given her the tour, she’d known this was his room. It carried
his clean scent and there was a set of his scrubs draped over a chair with his
name stenciled onto the breast pocket. She moved around the room, trying not to
snoop too much. Feelings of desperation once more settled into the pit of her
belly. She hated to think the previous three years of education would be for
naught just because of one stupid software package. She curled up on the bed
that smelled like
Jace
and buried her face into his
pillow. It was soothing, and soon her breathing evened and she was asleep.