Authors: Camilla Beavers
“
And who are those
people?”
We walk into the library,
and the bookkeeper is nowhere to be seen. Sahariel walks quickly and
quietly, looking around like he's trying to be sneaky, like he
doesn't want to be seen. He grabs my hand and pulls me behind him.
I'm taken by surprise. I curl my fingers around his and smile to
myself.
“
Alright, here it
is.”
We're standing in front
of a nondescript door. The only thing that makes it look different is
the fact that it has no handle. From the looks of it, it doesn't look
like it can be opened.
“
Uh,” I stare
at the door, “how?”
Sahariel looks around
quickly and moves my hand to the door. He opens my hand and places my
palm flat on the surface of the door. My hand tingles and I feel
gentle warmth beneath my palm. Although no light actually comes from
the door, I can see a glow from my hand as latches open and the door
creeks open a few inches.
“
Whoa,” I
say.
Sahariel nudges the door
open and we both walk inside. The door swings shut silently and
automatically behind us. The lights come on automatically as well,
gradually filling the room with light.
There's a small table in
the corner and several small wooden bookcases fill the room randomly.
A thick layer of dust coats the shelves and the few books that are on
them. The books are hard, leather bound volumes that seem like they
haven't been looked at or touched in a very long time.
“
Alright,”
Sahariel says, “here we go. Let's start looking.”
“
What should we be
looking for?”
“
I don't know,”
he admits, “but what we're looking for should be in one of
these books.”
Then we begin the search.
I grab a book off the shelf and as I open it, the spine cracks and
breaks. I cringe and hope that Sahariel doesn't see what I just did.
But as soon as I open it, I know that this isn't the record book that
I need to find. It's almost like the book is saying, 'I'm not it,
keep looking.' I'm drawn to a shelf in the back corner, farthest away
from the door and Sahariel. There are only a few volumes on it, but
only one of them has a pull. My hand finds the book and my fingers
open it.
I don't know how old the
book is, but the pages in it feel leathery and the ink is faded. Each
page has names on it, and each page is connected so the family tree
within goes on and on and branches out almost infinitely. I turn the
pages, the ink progressively becoming less and less faded. Then I get
to the last written on page.
The ink looks almost new,
the page holds my grandfather's name, my mothers, my fathers, and
even mine. But, unlike the other pages, almost all the ink is
uniformly faded. It looks like everyone before my grandfather was
written at the same time; like the page was rewritten. But that can't
be right. Who would rewrite a records book?
“
Find something?”
Sahariel walks up behind
me and places his hand on my lower back. He leans down near my
shoulder and I can feel his breath on my neck. Goosebumps start up on
my neck. I hold the book up so he's able to read it over my shoulder.
“
This is the record
book for my family,” I say to him.
“
Looks like it is.”
“
But something
about it isn't right,” I say.
“
What do you mean?”
“
Well, look at the
ink,” I point at the page, “you'd think that my
grandfather's name wouldn't be as faded as my great grandfather's,
but it is. It looks like the page was rewritten.”
“
Hmm, that is odd.”
We stare at the page for
a few seconds. Sahariel's head turns quickly, his gaze narrows and
then his fingers are wrapped around my arm and he's pulling me behind
a bookshelf.
“
Shh,” he
whispers as a begin to protest.
A few seconds later I
hear the voices from the other side of the door. I hear the familiar
sound of the door slowly unlocking and creeping open. I clutch my
records book to my chest as I hear the uninvited guests pad into the
room. They don't speak, and I can't quite figure out why it's so
important not to be found, but I just know we shouldn't.
I hear whispers, but I
can't make out what these men are saying. Their voices are low and
rough sounding, like they're arguing but are afraid of being heard. I
hold my family records close to my chest, and that's when I realize
how small a space I am in, and how close I really am to Sahariel.
I'm wedged between a
shelf and a wall, and my back is against the cool brick. But it's not
the fact that I'm wedged in and that there are would-be bad men in
the room that's making my heart pound. It's the fact that Sahariel is
standing so close to me that has my heart thundering in my chest.
Sahariel is standing so
close that I'm afraid to breathe simply because doing so will make
our bodies touch even more.
God, my heart is beating
so loud. Can he hear it? I hope he can't, but he probably can. He can
probably feel it trying to beat its freedom from my ribs.
I close my eyes and
instinctively lean forward, resting my head on Sahariel, but he's so
close that I barely have to move at all. After a few seconds I can
feel myself relax. The smell of cold air and wood smoke sweeps off
him and all I want to do is get as close to him as I can and wrap my
arms around him. I nuzzle a little closer and Sahariel stiffens. My
hands and arms act on their own and slowly creep up and inch around
his waist, doing what I want to do, but doing it without me thinking
about it. He doesn't stop me though, which makes me happy.
It feels like it could
have been forever, but after some time, I feel his arms wrap
themselves around me and his cheek rest against the top of my head.
I'm not sure, but I think I also hear a small sigh breathe through
him.
We stand there like that
for a while even after we know the other men are gone. He sighs again
and his hold loosens on me. But I don't budge. Although childish, I
hold him tighter, not wanting to let go. I can hear the rumble of
soft laughter in his chest and I feel a smile pull at the corner of
my lips.
“
Come on,” he
whispers in my ear, “let's get out of here. We can look at your
record book when we get back to your room.”
I reluctantly let go of
him, clutch the book against my chest, and follow him from the room.
We walk through the library, and the bookkeeper is back at his front
desk. Before he can ask, I hide the book behind my back as we walk
past and just nod at him, smiling at the expression on his face. I
guess he didn't know anyone was in here.
Sahariel leads the way
back through the castle as I try and keep the large, thick volume
hidden somewhere on my person. It's too big though, so I have to
settle for tucking it into my side and hoping no one asks what it is.
Although if someone does ask I could just say it's none of their
business.
We soon make it to my
room and Sahariel pulls me in and closes the door. I walk over to the
small table in the corner and sit down, feeling Sahariel trail me. I
set the book down and crack it open, back to the page that is too
new, and stare at it.
Who did this? And what
the hell was the point?
Sahariel walks up behind
me and places a hand on my shoulder.
“
What are you
thinking about?”
“
I don't know,”
I say, “I just can't figure out why someone would do something
like this.”
“
Didn't he say he
was erased?”
“
Yeah.”
“
Well, chances are
his family might have been taken out of the record books.” He
says, “If it was long ago enough, then there is a strong chance
that no one remembers him.”
“
But wouldn't there
be record in another book as well? I mean, from extended family or
something?”
“
I don't know, but
we can always check,” he says, “but I don't suspect he
will be coming back. He probably thinks that you're already dead.”
I cringe at the last
words and he gives me a look of apology.
“
But,” he
says, “Unfortunately we have more pressing matters to attend
to.”
“
Yes,” I say,
“I know. Unfortunately, I know.”
I sit there for a few
seconds, not really sure what to do. I frown a little bit.
“
So,” I say,
“what now?”
“
Well, now I guess
since you're able to walk around, we should probably head to the war
room.”
Together we walk to the
war room. I guess he doesn't know that I delegated the task to
Marius, but I don't say anything. We walk together there, and I smile
as the room's volume stays the same as I watch Marius walk around the
table. He looks up and smiles at me. I get the same tingly feeling,
but I know it's only in friendship and I smile back.
I don't know the
specifics of how Marius views our relationship, but I know he knows
we're only friends. If I hadn't ever known Sahariel, Marius and I
could have been something more. Sahariel has his hand on my lower
back, letting me know he's still here. I feel that, with Sahariel, it
was something like love at first sight. I guess knowing a man will
protect you with his life, and will genuinely always stay with you
regardless of orders, will perpetuate feelings of love. I smile to
myself.
Sahariel takes a few
small steps away from me, looking back to check with me to make sure
I'm okay with it. I nod and wave him off, knowing he's extremely
interested in what Marius has come up with.
I fidget for a moment.
I'm bored knowing there's no reason for me to be in this room.
Sahariel is extremely interested and so I make a quick decision to
leave. I walk back to my room, surprised that I've managed to leave
without Sahariel noticing, but I know he will be following me
shortly. I slip into my room, close the door and walk over to my
desk. I flip open the records book again and try to look at it a bit
more closely.
I stare at the pages, not
really knowing what it is, but something is bothering me, a lot.
Every time I open the book, the pages fall open to the same spot. The
ink, acting as its own time stamp, gleans up at me, laughing at me.
Laughing at me like the fool I am for trying to figure it out. Still,
I stare at the pages longer. Then I see what I've been looking for.
There, at the base of the other pages, at the binding, I see it.
The pages, they've been
torn out. Carefully, but still, they were torn out, and whatever was
on those pages is lost, recopied and altered on the following pages.
I sigh and rub my temples
momentarily. God dammit. Why couldn't anything be easy? Why did all
of this have to come out all at once? This war, this man who's trying
to kill me, all of it has come at the same time. I guess Murphy's Law
does exist. If anything is going to go wrong, it will.
The door opens behind me
and a rush of air waves against my back and a hand plants itself on
my shoulder while the other grabs my hand from my temple and turns me
around.
I open my eyes and
Sahariel is glaring at me. I quirk an eyebrow at him wondering why
he's glaring at me.
“
You left without
me,” he clarifies.
“
Yeah,” I
say, “but at least I didn't go wandering around the castle. I
came straight back here.”
“
That's not the
point. You're not supposed to go wandering off without me, and you
know that.”
“
Ugh,” I
groan, “fine.”
His fingers flip the book
closed and I feel like that's the end of the conversation. I always
had been so helpless when he's touching me, like he is now. Even the
small, innocent touching, like his hand on my shoulder, causes me to
agree with whatever he says, no matter the amount of vexation I feel.
“
What's wrong?”
He asks.
“
How do you have
this magical power over me?” I ask, “Like, no matter how
I feel about something, you always manage to make me agree with you.”
“
It's because I'm
always right.”
“
Hardly.”
“
What? You
disagree?”
“
Usually.”