Family Inheritance (31 page)

“Me too, boss,” Melanie said. “What are you doing for Christmas?”

“I'm not sure. In fact, my plans of ten minutes ago have changed. It's time to get
out of treatment. My counselor told me I was ready three weeks ago. I just couldn't
face it at the time. I need to think about it, but right now I'll finish up the things
I need to do here and leave the week before Christmas. Then I'll spend Christmas
with Alice and her kids, if they'll have me. And then I think I need to come back
to Dallas. It's time to face my problems and put my life in order.”

“Richard's been asking about you.” Melanie's voice was tentative as she brought up
the subject.

Suzanne took a deep breath as she placed her hand on her chest. “What did you tell
him?”

“Only that your mother is very sick and you've taken a leave of absence,” Melanie
responded.

“What did he say?” Suzanne began to pace as much as the phone cord would allow.

“The same thing he keeps saying—to tell you he hopes everything is okay and that
he misses your company.”

Suzanne stopped pacing for a moment as she clutched the phone close to her ear. Her
voice rose a bit. “Why didn't you ever mention him before?”

“I didn't think you were ready,” Melanie softly replied.

“And I am now?”

“I think so.”

Moments of silence passed.

“Melanie?” Suzanne peered out at the snow-covered landscape. “Why don't you ever
mention Jeff?”

“Why should I?” An edge crept into Melanie's words.

“I think you're smarter than that.” The barren trees were covered with snow, and
snowflakes were lightly falling from the sky. “I think you know he's tied into why
I ran back home.”

“I'm not going to ask. If you want me to know, you'll tell me.”

“What have you told him?” Suzanne touched the windowpane as shivers ran through her.
Bile formed in her throat at the mere mention of Jeff 's name.

“That what you do is none of his business,” Melanie firmly stated.

Turmoil circled through Suzanne as she stared straight ahead, no longer seeing the
scene in front of her. It was time to take a step, a risk, and she believed Melanie
was a safe person to do it with. “Has he tried to find out where I am?”

“He has,” Melanie confirmed. “Can you believe he even tried to use his good looks
and lady-killer ploys on me to find out?”

A smile passed over Suzanne's face at the inflection in Melanie's voice. “What did
you do?”

“I told him if he didn't back off, my husband would pound his pretty-boy face into
an ugly, unrecognizable lump.”

Suzanne gleefully laughed. “Such harshness from such a normally gentle
woman.” At
last Suzanne had a protector, someone who cared enough about her to fight the dragons
that lurked in the darkness of her life.

“
Steel Magnolias
is not just the title of a movie. Believe me, Jeff doesn't want
to push me too far.”

Suzanne made a decision, took a deep breath, and decided to take the risk. “He was
blackmailing me, Melanie.”

Melanie's voice was sharp. “Who? Jeff? Why?”

She took another deep breath as her fingers pressed harder against the window. “He
has pictures.” Two more breaths. “I got drunk and slept with him. He took ugly pictures.”
Bile surged into her throat at the memory. Now she held her breath waiting to hear
Melanie's reaction. As she waited, a headache pulsed at her temples.

“God, another good reason to give up drinking. It gives you crummy judgment in men!
But what's the big deal? How could he use that against you?”

Suzanne sat down in
a nearby chair and tenderly placed her hand on her chest. “He was going to show them
to Mr. Warren and pass them around to my other sales reps.”

“Suzanne!” Melanie sounded angry. “You let him blackmail you with that? It might
have been embarrassing to have it come out, and the rumors would have flown for a
while, but that wouldn't have been the first sexual indiscretion this company has
seen!”

“They would have fired me, Melanie.”
And what would I have done without my career?
It was all I had.

“You're crazy to think that. Don't you know the kind of reputation Jeff has? Haven't
you heard him bragging about getting women drunk because it makes them easy? Don't
you know this company has been waiting for a good excuse to get rid of him? Attempted
blackmail can land his butt in jail. And don't you know the credibility you've built?
Sure, you don't have a reputation for being a very warm person, but people know you're
fair and you'll get the job done right. I can't believe this! I'm so angry I'd like
to punch the crap out of Jeff Davidson, and then lovingly box your ears.”

Suzanne wasn't sure she had heard correctly. “You don't think I'm garbage?”

“No, but I think you're very smart to stop drinking if that's the kind of situation it gets you into. In fact, I don't get it.” Suzanne could hear Melanie's
frustration clearly coming through the phone. “You're afraid to have coffee with
Richard when you're sober, but you get drunk and end up sleeping with Jeff?”

“It's called being an alcoholic,” Suzanne replied as she once again paced within
the distance the phone cord would allow. “The drinks change my personality and I'm
able to try to get my needs met when I'm drunk.” Her voice softened. “I'm beginning
to learn how to care for myself, but I'm just beginning. The tough thing about treatment
is that we dig through garbage and unearth a lot of memories and feelings that we're
not fully prepared to deal with. It's a catch-22. I feel like I've stepped from one
merry-go-round to another. This one might be healthier than the last one, but it's
still confusing and it still moves too fast.”

“I wish I understood it better,” Melanie softly stated. “I'd like to be able to help
you, but I really don't totally understand what you're going through. I know about
the theories of alcoholism and what the twelve-step program is, but I don't understand
the pain, the confusion, or the thinking that seems to be so impossible to comprehend.”

“Do you think I'm crazy?”

“Heavens no. I think you're one strong woman. Alcoholism seems to be a tough battle
to fight. I can't believe you kept as much order in your life as you did.”

A comfortable silence permeated the air as the women relaxed in the atmosphere of
friendship.

“Suzanne, would you like to spend New Year's Eve with us?”

While Suzanne was touched by Melanie's offer, her heart sped up at the thought. “I
don't know,” she said, “I haven't thought that far ahead.”

“We're having a small party.”

“I don't think I need to be around alcohol or parties right now.”

“Oh, stupid me. I just won't serve liquor. It's a good idea not to serve it anyway.
The more I read about alcoholism, the more it makes me want to never touch a drink.”

Suzanne teased, “Are you compulsive and over-reactive?”

“Well,” Melanie laughed, “we all have something to deal with, don't we, boss?”

“Yes, I guess so.” Suzanne smiled as she moved back toward the phone base on the
wall.

“Will you call me when you're coming back to Dallas? I'll pick you up at the airport.”

“Would you? I'd like that. We'll talk again before Christmas. And thanks for calling.
Your timing was a huge, great blessing.”

“My higher power directs me too.” Melanie's smile came through the phone. “Remember,
I'm your friend.”

“I know.”

After she finished talking with Melanie, Suzanne had dialed the number of her counselor
and made an appointment for later that day. Now she sat in his office. She had just
told him that she was ready to go home.

“Have you thought about this a lot?” Pete asked.

“I have, and I know it's time to leave as soon as I tie up loose ends.”

“How do you plan to do that?”

“I'll give my notice at the department store where I've been working and I'll work
there through Christmas Eve. Then I'm going to spend a couple of days with Alice
and the kids. I'll check on Mom, then I'll fly back to Dallas. But before I do that,
I've got an appointment with the minister of the church I've been attending. I need
to do my fifth step.”

“What about your sponsor?” Pete was making notes. “Will you keep this one?”

“Until I get established in an AA group in Dallas.” Suzanne squirmed in the hard
chair.

“And what about Jeff?”

“I finally told my secretary about him, and she was extremely understanding and supportive.
So, that gives me strength to meet with my boss and hopefully with his support I
can face Jeff. You know our motto . . . one day at a time.”

“Well, Suzanne,” Pete put down his pen and sat back in his chair, “I'll get your
release papers ready. You've come a long way.”

She smiled. “But my journey's just beginning, and that's the scary part.”

Chapter 37

Atlanta, Georgia

Helene and Bill were curled up on the sofa, chatting, and enjoying the quiet evening,
the twinkling lights on the beautifully decorated Christmas tree, and a mug of hot
cocoa when Thomas came downstairs.

“Hi,” Bill called out. “Want to join us?”

“Sure. What are you doing?”

“Enjoying the lights and talking about things you'd probably call ‘corny.'”

“Try me,” Thomas replied. “Sometimes I can be sentimental.”

Bill chuckled. “At eighteen, what can you get sentimental about?”

Helene saw the expression on Thomas's face turn to one of irritation. “Why do you
do that?”

“Do what?”

“Always put me down?” Thomas crossed his arms over his chest.

Helene was mentally preparing herself for another battle between the two of them.
Lately, the confrontations didn't happen often, but they still happened, and she
had learned to stay out of them.

“I don't always put you down.” Agitation crept into Bill's voice and he sat up straighter.
“Your mom and I were sitting here having some quiet moments and sharing fun memories
when you came in. Apparently I didn't answer the way you wanted me to.”

Bill leaned forward, grasping his cup in his hands. “Why are you always
so angry
at me? I thought you had forgiven me. I thought some of our past was out of the way,
but I can't seem to get through to you. I feel nervous around my own son. Like I'm
always being judged, and I never come out on the winning end.”

Helene didn't move a muscle as she watched the scene playing out before her.

“And I always feel like I'm not good enough,” Thomas moved his weight from his left
foot to his right foot, “that anything I do is not good enough, that I can never
live up to your expectations, no matter what I do.”

“That's not true. Why don't you know how much I care about you?” Bill pleaded.

“Because you don't tell me.” Thomas's shoulders sagged with the weight of his words.

“But I show you,” Bill gently protested.

“I don't see it.” Thomas shrugged.

“I earn a good living for you. I give you opportunities a lot of young people don't
have.” Bill set his cocoa cup on the coffee table and was listing off things on his
fingers.

Thomas shrugged again. “I've always had them.” His arms spread out in front of him
in a questioning gesture. “How would I know what it's like not to? And that's material
stuff.” He wrapped his arms around himself. “What about how you feel?”

Bill leaned back into the sofa, smiling softly. “What happened to the days when men
didn't get caught up in feelings?”

“Remember that time in therapy when you said you had used affairs to run away from
your feelings about us and your fears of losing us?” Thomas stared at Bill, and Helene
was amused at how alike they were. That was probably one of the reasons they butted
heads. “It doesn't sound to me as though you didn't get caught up in feelings,” Thomas
retorted.

Bill's tone was soft. “We were talking about when you were small. I was remembering
those Christmas mornings when you would burst into our room and pull us downstairs
to the Christmas tree. Remember the red tricycle Santa Claus brought you? The roller
skates? The train set?”

Thomas nodded and sat on the floor in front of them.

“Where did all those good times go?” Bill gently touched his son's knee. “We had
them. I helped you ride the tricycle, stand on the wobbly skates, and set up the
train set.”

Helene smiled at the memories, then pain filled her heart when she heard Thomas's
reply. “Yes, you did. Even then, I remember feeling that I didn't do it right, especially
with the roller skates. I fell and skinned my knee. I started to cry, and you called
me a sissy. And you got mad when I broke one of the train tracks when I was putting
it together.”