Falling for a Hustler: A Benton Harbor Love Story (11 page)

Journee

It’d been about seven days since I started at Sparkle, and I’ll admit that it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would; well, at least when I was fucked up it wasn’t. In that short amount of time, I had already donned a ritual. I would take two shots of Patron at home, and then after I got dressed at the club I would go straight to the bar for about three more. It seemed like the liquor allowed me to ignore the various sets of eyeballs watching me degrade myself.

Stripping wasn’t the best gig in the world, but it definitely paid my bills. I had worked six days straight, and after I spent money on gas and other shit, I still had about $2500. As much as I didn’t like it, I didn’t see myself quitting anytime soon; the money was just too fucking good to pass up.

Since I started, I had been seeing less and less of Bird. He did like he said he would and flipped the thousand, but as usual, he tricked it off in the club and on shoes. When he came to me asking for a few dollars to “flip” again, I laughed in his damn face. I must have had ‘dumb bitch’ stamped across my face some damn where! There was no way I would put a thousand dollars in that niggas hands. He ended up getting mad and even tried to guilt trip me, but I stood my ground.

“Journee, let me talk to you for a second,” he called out.

I rolled my eyes and sat down on the couch across from him. It was three in the morning, I had just gotten off from work, and I needed a shower. The last fucking thing I wanted to do was talk but to avoid another fight, I obliged.

“What’s up Bird?”

“I talked to Flex earlier and he willing to throw me something for the low.”

“So why didn’t you grab it?” I asked, staring at him like he was stupid. I couldn’t believe he was keeping me up this late for this shit!

“I still need to come up with a few dollars.” When I said nothing, he continued. “I need to hold a rack, bae. I’ll get it back to you.”

I tried so hard to hold back my laugh, but it was impossible. I laughed so fucking hard that I had tears. Obviously he didn’t find the shit funny, because he glared at me and bit the inside of his jaw.

“Damn, you were serious?” I asked.

“Why would I not be?”

“What happened to the money you made a few days ago?” Silence. “Bird, you know that I have your back through whatever, but I can’t give you a rack. I’m sorry.”

“Why the fuck not? Shit, if I wouldn’t have gave you ten bands you wouldn’t even have this damn house and now you too good to loan a nigga a rack? That’s some straight up bullshit right there, Journee.”

“I ain’t too good for shit! I know you Bird, I’ll never see that money again and we both know it! Yeah, you gave me ten bands for this spot, but where the fuck do you lay your head at, nigga? You might as well chalk that up as you payin' ya fucking rent in advance. You don’t do shit around this bitch and when the bank came knocking with they hand out, what the fuck did you do? You sat in the same fucking spot you sitting in now, and told my ass I needed to strip; not to mention, you had a fucking thousand dollars in ya pocket and didn’t even OFFER to use the shit toward a bill. I tried to be nice about the shit, but clearly you got life fucked–”

Before I could even finish my sentence, I was flying over the back of the couch. He had hauled off and backhanded the shit out of me. As I fell, I hit my head on the glass end table. I sat there dazed for a moment, and then tried to get up. Being that I was dizzy, I stumbled a few times but when I got myself together, I charged his ass. He tried pushing me away, but at that point I was like a fucking animal. I swung like I was fighting for my life as my punches connected with his face and neck.

Finally having enough, he grabbed me and put me in a chokehold; that only made me go crazy! The fact that I could barely breathe, coupled with my adrenaline rushing, caused me to throw my head back. I winced when it connected with his nose, but I didn’t give a fuck, I was just glad that he let me go. I jumped up again and caught my breath. He stood nursing his now bleeding nose, and the shit only infuriated me more.

“Get the fuck out of my house!” I screamed.

“I ain’t going no fucking where, bitch!” he yelled back.

“Really?” With my hand on my chest and a smirk on my face, I walked into my room. The look he gave when I came back into the living room with a gun in my hand was priceless.

“Straight up, Nee? That’s what the fuck we on? You gon’ pull a gun on you muthafucking nigga? That’s some foul ass shit, ma.

“I asked you to fucking leave!”

He grabbed his fitted from the back of the loveseat and shook his head at me before leaving. When I saw him backing out of my driveway, I slung the gun on the couch and sat down. Sadly this was the norm for us; well, not pulling guns and shit, but you know – the fighting, the screaming, the leaving. I was getting tired of the shit, but I knew that when he came back I wouldn’t do shit but let his ass back in.

He came back two days later, but shit between us certainly wasn’t sweet. He still expected me to give him the money, and I still told his ass no. My main priority was getting my fucking bills paid so that I didn’t have to worry about not having a roof over my head. It was time to grow the fuck up, and Bird needed to get with the program quick before I outgrew his ass.

“Aye.” I didn’t even notice that I had zoned out until I heard the raspiness of Trixie’s voice. She was the only girl here that really fucked with me here. I didn’t really care about making friends, but I knew that these bitches were scandalous, so I thought it was best to link up with at least one girl in the club. That way if some shit went down, I knew somebody would have my back.

“What’s up, Trix?”

“Khalil wants to see you in his office.”

“He’s here?” I hadn’t seen him since the night I started. I thought the nigga had went on vacation or something.

“Yeah, he a lil fucked up so he ain’t really trying to be out on the floor like that.”

“A'ight.”

I stood up, pushed my titties up a little bit, and fixed my thong. Nah, I ain’t like Khalil or nothing like that, but I had a nice little walk to his office and I knew niggas would be looking, which meant they would be checking for me when I came out. I stopped at the bar and told Aisha to hit me up with a glass of Goose and cranberry juice. When she slid it to me a few seconds later, I grabbed it from the bar and continued on my journey to Khalil’s office.

After knocking twice, I opened the door and almost screamed. Nothing could have prepared me for what I saw. This nigga didn’t even look the same! His right eye was swollen and a line of stitches sat above it. His lips were so fat, they looked like they would just pop if you touched them. Baby boy was all bad.

“You wanted to see me?” I stayed close to the door; shit, I was too scared to go anywhere near this nigga.

“Yeah.” He slid $300 across his desk. “Someone is requesting you for a private dance.”

“Me?” I was shocked that someone was willing to pay the high ass fees just to watch me dance.

“He damn sure ain’t asking for me,” he replied rudely.

I grabbed the money from the desk and left as quickly as I had come. I damned near ran to the back where the three rooms used for private shows were located.

“Hey Cash!” I greeted the bouncer. “Khalil said someone’s checking for me, but he didn’t say which room.”

“Number one, pretty lady.”

I smiled and thanked him before going into the room. A man was seated on a chair in the middle of the floor. I couldn’t get a good look at him, because his hat was pulled low over his eyes. It didn’t really matter if I could see him or not though; I was gonna make this little money.

“Any suggestions?” I asked.

I left my girl back home

I don't love her no more

And she'll never fucking know that

These fucking eyes that I'm staring at

Let me see that ass

Look at all this cash

And I emptied out my cards too

Now I'm fucking leaning on that

I turned my back to him and moved my hips slowly to the beat. I hadn’t built up the courage to look niggas in the eye while I danced, so I usually used the first few seconds to get my mind right and focus. I turned around and almost shitted on myself when I saw Brick sitting in the chair.

“You shocked to see me, baby girl?” Had I not picked up on the sinister look in his eyes, I probably wouldn’t have been so fucking nervous to see him. I thought I had prepared myself for when I saw him, but I guess I hadn’t prepared well enough.

“Brick! When did you get out?” I went over to him and straddled him. I didn't know what was going on in his head, but I decided to play it cool so I wouldn’t give myself away.

“That’s not important. What you doing dancing in this club? I could have sworn you had a few bands on you last year.” And there it was. He wasted no time getting to the point. I jumped off his lap, and he started laughing. “You leaving so soon? I paid some good ass money for this dance.” His voice was calm, but I picked up on the threat in it almost instantly.

I didn't know what to do next as I stood at the door, frozen in place.

“Take a ride with me, Journee.”

“Um...I can’t, I’m working.”

Even in the dark room, I saw the chrome on his waist as he lifted his shirt. “I don’t think I gave you a fucking choice.”

Lyric

BRICK:
Don’t be mad at me ma sum’n came up.

ME:
You’re standing me up?

BRICK:
Nah, just gon’ be a lil late.

Brick had sent those texts almost two hours ago, and I still hadn’t seen or heard from him. I called his phone twice and got the voicemail both times. I wanted to call again, but I didn’t want to seem pressed; besides, he wasn’t my nigga. It was almost eleven, so I figured he wasn’t coming. I jumped in the shower, washed my hair and wrapped it, and threw on a tank and pajama shorts.

My feelings were hurt as fuck! I didn’t know how I allowed Brick to get so close to me in such a short amount of time. I hoped and prayed that I actually meant something to him, but clearly he was just like the rest; as soon as they got what they wanted out of you, they dipped.

“Fuck him!” I mumbled to myself as I pulled out a swisher and rolled a fat ass blunt. Weed was just what I needed to get that nigga off my mind.

Just as I put the blunt to my lips, my phone rang. I almost fell off the bed trying to get to it, thinking that it was Brick. I was shitty as hell when I saw that it was Dynasty calling me instead of Brick; still, I answered it.

“Wassup chica?” I asked before inhaling the weed.

“Why I ain’t been seein’ yo ass at the club? You been missing out on some serious, cash girl!” I rolled my eyes. I wasn’t missing shit but thirsty ass niggas and the smell of wet pussy.

“Aw yeah?” I didn’t have shit else to do, so I acted like I really cared.

“Hell yeah! We got a new bitch too. She cute or whatever, but she ain’t you.”

“Come on now, no one will ever be like Envy!” I joked.

“Yeah, but y’all both got something in common.” Her tone went from playful to gossipy, and I knew she had the tea. I put my blunt out and turned the volume up on my phone; I wanted to hear this shit.

“What’s that?”

“Y’all got the same taste in men.”

“She fucking with Khalil crazy ass?” Just saying his name made me want to grab a fucking Brillo pad and scrape the shit out of my tongue.

“She probably did, but I ain’t talkin bout his ass. I just saw her leaving with Brick.”

I almost dropped my phone. I knew why he was standing me up now; the nigga had a new bitch to play with. I didn’t want to let Dynasty know that she had gotten under my skin, so I played it off.

“He cool and everything, but I can’t even trip, he ain’t my nigga.” Those words leaving my mouth didn’t even feel right. For the second time that night, my feelings were hurt.

We chatted a little longer before I ended the call. My phone had beeped a few times while I was on the phone with Dynasty, but when I saw that it was Brick I ignored them. I didn’t have time for his games.

BRICK:
I know u c me calling. Bring ya ass outside and quit playin.

I jumped up from my bed and saw that he was indeed outside. I still wasn’t going out there. I sat back on the bed, hoping that he would eventually get the hint. Five minutes later when I heard beating at the door, I knew he hadn’t. Since the knocking didn’t last long, I figured that he had finally given up and left, but when I saw his car still parked in front of my house, I was confused. Sliding my feet into my house shoes, I went down the stairs. When I got there, I got the shock of my life! This nigga was choking the shit out of Yandy.

“BRYCE what the fuck are you doing?” I ran over to them and tried pulling him off her, but he was too strong. When he jerked away from me, I went flying into the door. I got myself together quick and jumped on his back. I had fallen head over heels for this man, but I couldn’t just stand there and let him choke my aunt out.

When I hit him in the head, he let go of Yandy and slung me off him for the second time. He then turned to me, and a look of hatred flashed in his eyes. What the fuck was going on? Ignoring the glare he was giving me, I looked between the two. Yandy was on the floor holding her neck and crying, while Brick just stood there like a madman.

“Can somebody please tell me what the fuck is going on?”

Brick looked down at Yandy, and then walked over toward me. I slowly backed away from him until my back was against the wall. This was not the Brick I knew.

“Was I just a lick to you, Lyric?”

My eyes darted to Yandy, and then back at Brick. I hadn’t hit a lick since me and Yandy hit that dude Eric’s shit, and I knew that he couldn't have found out about that. I wasn’t about to stand there and tell on myself, because I had just seen firsthand what he would do, so I did what any normal person would do under the circumstances; I played dumber than a muthafucka!

“Bryce baby, what the fuck are you talking about? Would you tell me what’s going on? Why were you choking my aunt?”

Hurt was evident in his eyes. “That’s what this shit was all about!? Money! You been schemin’ on me with this bitch?”

Now I was lost! Besides the shit I had backed out of, hustling Brick had never crossed my mind. I actually wanted something real with him. I...Hold the fuck up...how the fuck did he even know Yandy?

“Brick, I don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about! I would never do no shit like that to you and you know it.”

He opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out of his mouth; instead, he turned around and walked out the door. I looked over at Yandy and cocked my head. I needed fuckin’ answers, and I needed them right the fuck now!