Fading Darkness (Bloodmarked #1) (23 page)

“When did you start trusting vampires to do
your dirty work?” he asked.

Ouch, that hurt. “I don’t trust any
bloodsuckers,” I shot at him. He may have been an evil self-serving monster,
but he made a good point. It wasn’t like me to give up the driver’s seat. Maybe
it was time to take back the wheel, at least before I went insane from
inactivity. If I was going to start getting answers on my own I needed to go
out there and get them myself instead of accepting them second hand.

“So does that mean you’re going to pass on
that drink?” he asked, gesturing toward the bar again. “I don’t suppose I could
entice you to do a shot with me?”

“Like it would do you any good,” I said.

“I could just wait for a little spiked
blood. I’m sure someone in there is drunk enough,” he said.

Was that some sort of widely known vampire
fact or something? Why did I only just recently find out about alcoholic and
drug-addict vampires? I had to put a stop to this, now.

“I’ll pass,” I replied, and without another
word I took off in the direction of my apartment. If I was going to do this, I
had to look the part of club girl and not stick out like a vampire hunter in a
vampire-run night club.

Winding through alleys and streets, I
blurred by cars and pedestrians without leaving any evidence that I was there
besides the cold breeze I left in wake. It was chillier outside than before,
but I was still fine.

†

Back at the apartment, I tore through my
closet to find something presentable for a club. There was hardly anything in
my closet to begin with, let alone anything that could pass in the club. I was
in over my head with this and actually considered going in sweats.

What difference would it really make if they
became suspicious of me? I already had the attention of the biggest and baddest
vamps in the world. Honestly, it couldn’t get much worse for me. Gavin’s
reasons for not wanting me at the club began creeping in and I wavered back and
forth a few minutes before impatience got the better of me. I knew he made a
point, but it was so hard to just sit back and let him do all the work.

Pulling things off the top shelf in my
closet, I began throwing pairs of old jeans and t-shirts on the floor until I
came across something little and black. I unfolded it and was confused at
first. I wasn’t sure how I ended up with a little black strapless romper in my
closet. Then, I remembered it was something I had borrowed from Holly when we
went out one night last year, or rather, something she forced me into against
my will. At the moment, I was actually glad I forgot to return it the next day.
I remember I had promised to clean it after having drink after drink spilled on
it. I never told her that she was the one spilling the drinks.

I kind of wished she were here now because I
didn’t know the first thing about hair and make-up. Luckily, she had bought me
several different beauty products in hopes I might someday become a girly girl.
Tonight, she was getting her wish, even if I had no clue what I was doing.

Thinking of Holly made me realize how long
it had been since I had seen her. I was going to have to call her soon, but she
was probably doing Christmas things with family. It has been a while since I
had actually heard anything from her, though. It made me wonder what she has
been up to. It wasn’t like her to go for so long without calling me and begging
to go out. That would have to wait because there was no way she was going out
with me tonight.

I didn’t have a curling or straightening
iron, so I brushed out my wild hair and left my natural waves down. That was
simple enough. The make-up took a little more time, and I had to keep
reapplying the eye liner after several failed attempts at a straight line. I
tried remembering what Holly did to my face the last time we went out, and when
I finished, it wasn’t quite the same but worked out fine. It was enough to help
me blend in to the crowd of overdone Barbies.

For the final touch, I slipped into the
black romper and added the bright yellow belt Holly had made me wear with it. I
dug through my closet to find the shoes that went with it. Holly had called
them Mary-Jane pumps, but to me they were yellow heels with black straps. The
heels would keep me from running anywhere tonight, but they wouldn’t slow me
down in a fight.

The last time I went out, it ended horribly.
I allowed someone to be slaughtered in my own apartment. Looking around, I
could still see the blood, even though I had brand new bed sheets. The memories
of all those I couldn’t save were still on my mind. I never forgot them
entirely, no matter how hard I have tried not to let myself get attached. Those
deaths still haunted me from time to time, and the boy in my room has been the
worst by far.

His death was a personal attack on me. It
was a message to me that they were out there watching me, that they knew I was
killing them all off, one by one. My only mistake had been underestimating my
opponents. Now that I knew there was something much bigger and badder out
there, I wouldn’t let that happen again. No one was dying tonight, and I was
going to get the answers I needed.

Grabbing a light jacket on my way out, I
finally noticed the chill in the winter night air. The bare skin on my legs and
chest prickled with goose bumps. My tolerance was growing, but I wasn’t immune
to it, yet.

I pulled up to the curb about two blocks
away from the club. Stepping out of the warm cab into the brisk night, I curled
my arms tightly over my chest and tilted my head down to avoid the sting in my
eyes from the chill. My heels clomped down the sidewalk as I hurried toward the
bright neon lights. The winding line was filled with college girls huddled up
with each other and guys who were just hoping to score with whoever they could.
I decided to pass on all that. I had my own way in anyway.

Rounding the corner to the darkened side
entrance, I instantly saw movement. Once my eyes adjusted, I noticed two
figures farther down the alley and caught my breath when my eyes zeroed in on
those figures.

A girl’s limp and seemingly lifeless body
hung against his body while his mouth covered the crook of her elbow. My mind
struggled to catch up to what I was witnessing. When my eyes saw those blue
eyes look up into mine, my brain was nearly beyond comprehension of those
familiar features. His head slowly lifted, and for the first time, I saw his
fangs, and they were covered in blood.

My heart had stopped as my world spun around
me. I felt all the walls that had begun to crack and crumble slam right back
into place as I looked into the eyes of the monster I knew was there all along.

Fainting seemed like the next possible move,
but as the scent of blood tinged the air, my senses came back to me sharp as
ever. Without any more hesitation, I grabbed the spike in my jacket and flung
it toward him in the same swift motion.

“You son of a bitch!” I screamed, unable to
keep the hurt from betrayal out of my voice. I was no longer fueled by fire. My
blood ran cold, and the ice in my veins was enough to freeze my heart, what
miniscule shred of a heart that I may have had. The anger and rage were still
there, but this time it was different.

“Lucille, wait, it’s not what you-”

I cut off his next word as he dodged my
second spike. I ran at him at full speed while he laid her limp body down on
the ground. Landing one punch across his jaw with all my strength was enough to
knock him back a few feet, but he moved forward slowly with his arms raised in
the air.

“Please, Lucy,” he pleaded, his voice
catching. He sounded genuinely pained and pathetic, which felt like a meat
grinder wreaking havoc in my chest cavity.

I moved to strike again at the same time the
girl let out a ragged breath. I swiveled to measure her condition. I was no
doctor, but she was still alive, barely, and that was enough for me. Kneeling
down beside her, I supported her head and bent to hear her heartbeat. Using my
sensitive hearing, I heard the slow staggered rhythm. She needed a hospital,
immediately.

The part of me that wanted to tear Gavin’s
undead heart out with my bare hands and watch him go up in flames was torn from
the part of me that knew I had to do everything I could to help this girl. I
was sick of getting people hurt because of my poor judgment. It was my mistake
to accept help from, even ally myself with, the enemy. When I glanced back, he
wasn’t there. It was just me and the girl, who was fading fast.

Panicking, I ran to the mouth of the alley
screaming for help. “Someone call an ambulance! There’s a girl in the alley!
She’s hurt! Someone help!”

Some just stood there, shivering and looking
confused by my outburst like I was another drunken club girl, overreacting.
Others were curious enough to indulge me and came into the alley, where they
automatically reached for their phones. I hadn’t even considered bringing my
phone tonight, wanting to pack light, like always.

The crowd began to grow as more caught on to
the severity of the situation. When I determined the girl had all the help she
could get, I slipped out of the crowd as the sound of sirens neared.

Taking off my heels, I didn’t want to waste
any time finding a way back to my apartment. The cold concrete made me wince. I
took off at full speed. Loose gravel and broken glass tore at my flesh, but I
didn’t care. All I wanted to do was load up on as many weapons as I could
carry.

When I got back to my place, I quickly
changed and stuffed my coat with as many spikes and knives as I could without
weighing it down. At the moment, I wasn’t worrying about taking too many railroad
spikes.

I couldn’t believe I allowed myself to get
that close to him, to see him as anything other than the cruel bloodsucking
monster he was. Whatever feelings may have been there only made his betrayal so
much worse. I let him get too close, and I wanted to be close to him. It was
only now, after showing his true colors, that I realized just how much I had
let my guard down with him. There was no way I would make the same mistake
twice.

Spending so much time with him did allow me
to get to know his strengths, but I had never noticed any weaknesses. I hoped I
had enough strength and speed of my own to end him, but I couldn’t
underestimate him.

I ran as fast as I could to his loft and
didn’t even bother to acknowledge Gregory when I passed the front desk. The
elevator ride felt like it took hours, and I regretted not taking the stairs as
I paced the tiny space.

Once the ding announced the opening door, I
rushed out into the small foyer and burst through the door. All lights were off,
and the typical atmosphere had changed. There was no music playing, and the
fireplace wasn’t lit. The curtains had been completely closed, blacking out the
entire space seeming as if he was gone, but I felt him near. That was another
reason to want him dead. The weird little connection between us would finally
be broken.

Feeling his eyes on me felt more intrusive
than every other time. It felt predatory, and for the first time in my life, I
actually felt like prey. It even felt different than facing the assassins. I
realized in that moment what I had just done. I walked straight into the real
lion’s den. It wasn’t like the vampire dens I took down in the past. I
willingly put myself up against an opponent I knew I couldn’t beat. He was
showing me he had me right where he wanted me, and I didn’t even stand a
chance.

Even with my amped up eyesight, I couldn’t
pinpoint exactly where he was standing, if he was even staying in one place at
all. He could be running super stealthy circles around me for all I knew.

“Why did you do it? Were you looking for a
good buzz or something?” I spat icily.

“Does it matter?” he responded. “You’ve
already sentenced me to death.”

I took the opening he gave me and threw the
first spike in the direction of his voice. It clanked against the stone of the
fireplace and came to a loud thud on the hardwood floor. I sensed movement
behind me and swiveled to throw the next spike. Another miss, but this time,
there was a sudden force against my back.

He shoved me forward, knocking me to the
ground and disappearing again into the darkness. I shot up spinning around
looking for my target, almost frenzied when I couldn’t locate him. He was going
to kill me, but what the hell was he waiting for?

Knowing he was about to end my life only
made it that much easier to accept. This was what I always wanted, the death
part anyway, not the turning into a monster like him. At least, I thought it
was what I wanted. There was something in me that stirred. It felt a little
like regret, maybe, or quite possibly… fear.

But there was something else, a hurt that
went deeper than I ever could have imagined.  “Just do it already. Don’t play
with your food,” I demanded. “Why bother keeping me alive so long, anyway, if
you’re just going to kill me?”

“You came to kill me. Why shouldn’t I defend
myself?” he said, and his voice sounded cold and detached. He came up behind me
again, knocking me back down.

He continued from the other side of the
room. “I could tell you over and over again about how I was trying to save that
girl, about how she had that drug in her system and I did what I could to get
rid of it before it killed her, but you would still only believe what you wanted.
You can’t kill me so why don’t we just call it a night? I think you should
leave now.” His voice broke a little on the last thing he said, and the tone
almost echoed my earlier anguish I had repressed. He moved closer, and I took
advantage of the moment.

I flung one more stake in his direction
which he, of course, dodged expertly, snaking around its path and coming toward
me at lightning speed. Before I had time to react, he knocked me back with more
force than before.

“Why don’t you just kill me?” I shouted,
wanting him to stop toying with me and just end it.

Then, he was in my face, his hand around my
throat, with more pressure than I was used to from him. I could feel his
aggression rolling off him.

“You should leave, before I consider that,”
he said icily. Even in the darkness, I caught the glint of his black eyes,
reminding me once again of the thing in him I had feared this whole time. And
that hurt worse than anything he could have done to me physically. What good
would it do to fight when I felt like he had already beaten me? I looked into
his eyes and wasn’t sure what he saw in mine, defeat maybe, but his eyes
softened minutely.

He shoved me back. “Just go,” he said
roughly, injecting more venom in his voice.

As I moved to the door, my anger returned to
me and began to build with each slow step as I took in what just happened. I
had more right to be mad than he did. He was the monster, not me. Before
leaving, I got my voice back. I turned back to face the blackness.

“Stay the hell away from me, vampire. And if
I ever catch you feeding in this town again, I’ll find a way to kill you, no
matter what it takes, even if it’s the last thing I ever do.”

In the silence I heard what sounded like,
“Hmph, I’m positive it will be.”

The door closed on the last word which, of
course, was his. This time, I opted for the stairs, needing a speedier exit.
The world was beginning to spin again as I sped down the stairwells. Going
round and round with each floor wasn’t helping the sick feeling in my stomach I
got, not from nearby vamps, but from the need to purge myself of everything I
had just discovered in the last hour. Not only did I find out Gavin really was
a disgusting leach like all others, but the worst part was realizing that I had
let myself actually believe he was different.

The second my feet hit the pavement outside
his building I literally purged myself for the first time in my life. I purged
all over the sidewalk, and after wiping my mouth clean with my jacket sleeve, I
ran. I felt better with the cold wind on my flushed face.

It startled me that I had even thrown up at
all, not because I couldn’t get sick. I’ve come close a few times before. I
could easily make myself sick with bottled up emotions, but nothing had ever
affected me
so
emotionally to do that. What the hell was wrong with me?

I was going to have to add another reason
for killing him. He got inside my head, and I stupidly allowed myself to get
close to him, to
feel
things for him. I hated Gavin for making me soft
and taking advantage of my human weaknesses by playing on what few human
emotions I had, but mostly, I hated myself for those weaknesses. I was at
constant odds with myself. The human part of me hated the monster I was or
would become, and the vampire part of me hated the humanity in me.

Wanting nothing more than to rid any
remaining confusion from my head, I hunted. The wretchedness I felt slowly
churned in my stomach, and before it could make another comeback, it turned to
anger. I was mad, very, very mad. The original fire in me was back, with no
other emotions to stifle it. The rage built in me, threatening to escape at any
moment. If I didn’t find a vampire to take it out on, I was likely to take some
aggression out on the first person that looked at me the wrong way. I wasn’t
sure if going back to the scene of a near murder was the smartest idea so I
steered clear of the club. Uncomplicated was the best thing for me right now.
I’ve had enough
complicated
for one night.

Going to work, I pummeled the first vampire
I caught on the streets. After about five minutes of laying into him with
everything I had, he was ashes. The rage still boiled within so I kept going.
With a total of four kills, I was left only slightly satisfied but would have
to wait because the sun was about to rise.

To clear my head, I went back to my favorite
spot. The Zen-like atmosphere was soothing, and for once, the stone angels
didn’t change faces or remind me of anyone. They were just understanding and
comforting in their usual way. Each expressed varying signs of grief. Others
were symbols of protection, designed to ward off evil for those making their
journey to the afterlife a smooth transition. They were like my kindred
spirits, even if, half of the time, I was trying to ward off my own evil.

I took my usual spot next to the weeping
angel and lied on the frozen tundra until I could barely feel my toes and
fingers. Looking up into those stone eyes I began to imagine tears running down
her face, crying for all those souls she had seen pass. When I started seeing
the faces of all those I had seen pass, it was time to go.

Peeling myself off the ground, I walked out
the front gate of the cemetery as the scruffy old groundskeeper passed through.
He gave me a confused look, most likely wondering how I got in while it was
closed. Normally, I would sneak out before the gates open, but tonight, I
needed the extra time to collect myself. Before he could threaten to call the
cops, I slipped out and rounded the corner at a full sprint.

†

A full day’s sleep was just what I needed to
close myself off again, with even more reinforced walls than before. The last
thing on my mind was Gavin, which left even more room for hunting evil sons of
bitches, but it was too bad that the one that I really wanted to slaughter was
the one I couldn’t kill. This was the last time I would think about him, and I
wouldn’t allow him another thought ever again, unless I thought about how to
kill him.

For the next few days and nights, I focused
on hunting and working, anything to get me back to the me I was before. Clint
was grateful I volunteered for the additional hours, and hunting reminded me of
why I started doing it. But before the days could begin blurring together in a
continuous stream of work and hunting, my phone beeped with an unheard message
I missed while in the shower.