“What on earth are
you doing here?” she demanded in a surly tone. Linder could see at
once from her unfocused, watery eyes and her unsteady movements that
she had been drinking more than a little.
“Looking for the
mother who didn’t show up for her daughter at school this
afternoon.”
“Oh, my God, not
again!” Patricia groaned, suddenly realizing her error. “Where is
she now?”
“At Sharon Unger’s.
What would you like me to do? Shall I bring Caroline here?”
Patricia gave Linder a
hard look.
“Yes, please do.”
“Before dinner?”
Linder asked coolly. “Or would it be all right if Sharon feeds her
first?” He noticed the hard edge to his voice and regretted it. But
to invite Patricia back to the bungalow for dinner in her present
condition was clearly out of the question.
“Whatever. Suit
yourselves,” Patricia snapped.
“In that case, I
think Sharon would prefer to have Caroline spend the night with her.
If it’s okay with you, she can bring her back here tomorrow after
school.”
Linder thought of the
pain Patricia must have suffered upon learning about the slaughter at
Kamas and the likely loss of her husband. And he imagined her
self-reproach at losing yet another battle in her struggle against
drink. Now, for the second time, Roger was missing in action, leaving
her alone but not yet free. What she needed most at this moment, he
thought, was empathy and support, not his judgment. And who was he to
judge her, having played a part in her downfall?
“Patricia, please
forgive me,” Linder began. “I didn’t mean to be sharp with you.
We were all worried for you after hearing what happened at the camp.
Is there anything I can do to help?”
“Pray for Roger,”
she said softly, staring at the floor. “Poor man, I’m afraid
marrying me didn’t turn out the way he expected.”
“We all will,”
Linder replied.
“It’s odd,” she
went on distractedly. “I feel Roger’s presence now, though I
don’t ever expect to see him again in the flesh.”
Linder waited a long
moment before speaking.
“Now that the
government has retaken the camp, they’ll be cracking down hard on
anyone with a record of opposing the regime,” he explained. “You’re
on parole, so you may be safe. But if there’s a roundup, I’ll be
a target. So, I need to go away for a while, at least until things
calm down. My offer still stands if you and Caroline want to join me.
Who knows, if we play our cards right, maybe we can get you both back
to London.”
Patricia looked away.
“I’m sorry, but
I’ve decided to stay,” she replied. “I have a good job at the
truck depot and I don’t want to lose it. Besides, Caroline has to
get an education, and the schools here aren’t so bad. When she
turns eighteen, she can make her own decisions, but until then, it’s
up to me.”
“It’s your call,
Patricia,” Linder affirmed. “But bear in mind that, as a former
detainee and a child of a moneyman, Caroline won’t be admitted to
any accredited college, and will probably never get a residence
permit outside Summit County, Utah. Is that the life you want for
her?”
Patricia Kendall pursed
her lips and anger flashed in her eyes but she did not answer.
“Okay, then, have it
your way,” Linder responded, aware that he had no standing to argue
the point. He swallowed and took a deep breath before speaking again.
“Listen, there’s
something else I want to tell you before I go,” he added. “It’s
that I haven’t been truthful with you about something you ought to
know.”
“About what?”
“About my work for
the government. You and your friends were right. I did go to work for
the CIA in the Middle East. But after the global pullout, I didn’t
leave intelligence work. What I did was transfer from the CIA to the
DSS. When civil war broke out, I worked undercover against the rebel
militias in Cleveland, and was there when your father’s people
looted the downtown banks. I was also posted to London around the
time you and Roger were there. But I want you to know that my work
back then was never directed against you or your family.”
Patricia’s mouth
opened and she drew a sharp breath, while expressions of surprise,
anger, fear, and sadness swept across her face in rapid succession.
“I don’t know what
to say,” she answered at last, grasping the kitchen chair before
her as if for support. “Just tell me one thing. Did you take any
part at all in the action to kidnap our family in Beirut?”
Linder bit his lip, for
he could think of no answer that would absolve him.
“Yes. But I was
brought in at the last minute,” he blurted out, forgetting the
carefully worded apology he had intended to deliver. “I didn’t
know the whole plan. What happened was not at all what...”
“That’s enough,”
she declared, holding up a hand to silence him. “I don’t need to
hear any more.”
“I tried to help your
father. That’s what got me in trouble...”
Patricia cut him off
again.
”No, stop,” she
said. “Now get out and don’t ever come near me again.”
* * *
Linder did as he was
told. Nothing he might say could justify his role in what had
happened to Patricia or her family. He still believed he had done the
right thing to confess, but he must have been out of his mind to
expect that she could ever forgive him. He had held her image close
to his heart all these years—for what? What was the meaning of
their lives intersecting in Beirut and of his crossing a continent to
find her, when all it came to was this?
He returned to Mrs.
Unger’s bungalow in a stupor, questioning every decision that had
led him from Beirut and Virginia to the Yukon and then all the way to
Coalville. By the time he arrived outside the back door, he felt
utterly drained from the mental and emotional turmoil.
Once inside the
kitchen, he found Mrs. Unger laying the table for dinner and Caroline
at the kitchen counter doing her homework. Both looked up expectantly
as he entered.
“Patricia came home
just as I was about to leave,” he told them. “She was feeling
pretty low and I got the impression she wanted to have some time to
herself while news filters in from Kamas. She apologized for not
showing up at school and said it might be best for Caroline to spend
the night here.”
Linder could see the
worried look in Caroline’s eyes.
“Don’t worry,
she’ll be good as gold in the morning,” he assured her. “Your
mother is a survivor.”
“Besides,” Mrs.
Unger added, “you’re welcome to stay here as long as you want,
darling.”
“I heard about Kamas
at school this morning,” Caroline replied impassively. “I know
that Roger is still there and they’ve killed a lot of prisoners.
I’m sad for the prisoners. And I’m sad for mother, too, but not
for Roger. He’s not my father, in case you didn’t know. All he
cares about is himself. And he’s the one who got us into this
mess.”
Her quivering chin and
shimmering eyes told a different story. She had placed her hopes for
protection in Roger once, it seemed, and he had let her down. Now
that Roger was likely dead, she and her mother were all alone.
Perhaps from a childish sense of hope, she expected Linder to step
in. But he could not see how that could be, for he must soon go, too.
After dinner, Linder
and Caroline cleared the table and worked as a team to wash and dry
the dishes. When they finished, Linder sat across the kitchen table
from where Caroline had set out her homework and asked if he could
have a word with her while he finished his coffee.
“Do you remember a
while back when you asked me how I found you?” Linder began, “And
I told you about the dream that led me to your mother?”
“You’re not going
to tell me that you made the whole thing up, are you?” she demanded
in a petulant voice.
“Not at all,” he
assured her. “That much of what I told you is true. But I left out
the part about why I came to Coalville. Would you like to know the
rest of the story?”
“I suppose so, if
it’s not too much of a downer,” she replied warily.
“You be the judge.
Anyway, not very long ago I was a prisoner like you and your mother.
In fact, they sent me to the same camp as your stepfather, to cut
timber in the Yukon Territory, not far south of the Arctic Circle. I
met Roger in the camp hospital, when both of us were in pretty lousy
shape. Roger’s heart was failing and he didn’t think he had long
to live.”
Caroline gazed at him
with renewed attention.
“When I learned who
Roger was,” Linder continued, “I told him about how your mother
and I met long ago and he and I became friends. Over the next couple
of days, I did what little I could to help him. On our last day
together, he asked me to look after you and your mother if I ever got
out of the camps. But when I woke up the next morning his bed was
empty. I assumed he must have died in his sleep.”
“So how did you get
out?” Caroline asked.
“I escaped,” Linder
answered. “And then I walked. For over two months. When we started,
there were six of us. I’m the only one left. So I’ve had to ask
myself, why me?”
Linder paused to drink
the remains of his coffee.
“I couldn’t find a
reason for it,” he went on. “So I decided to create one. That’s
when I remembered my promise to Roger and came here to find you and
your mother.”
“And now we get to
the part where you tell me you’re going to leave, right?”
“I’m sorry,”
Linder said. “Now that they’ve retaken the camp, there will be a
security crackdown all across the Wasatch Front. If I’m around when
it happens, it won’t be long till the feds find me and send me back
north. Believe me, Caroline, if there were a way for me to stay, I
would. And if I can come back, I will.”
“But what about Mom
and me?” Caroline protested. “Will they arrest us, too, and put
us back in some camp like before?”
“You and your mother
were paroled. You didn’t escape,” he corrected her. “And you
both seem to have something the government wants, so they seem
inclined to be decent to you. Your mother is right about wanting to
keep you here to finish school. Believe it or not, there are far
worse places in America to grow up than Coalville.”
“When?” she
interrupted. “When do you leave?”
“Early tomorrow
morning.”
“For how long?”
“I don’t know,”
he answered.
“Can’t you take me
with you?” Caroline pleaded. “You must know that Mother isn’t
well. She’s killing herself and I can’t bear to watch it. Soon
she’ll be gone, too, and I’ll be here all by myself.”
Linder reached out to
hold Caroline’s hand and longed to hug her but did not dare.
“Your mother loves
you too much to let go of you until you’re old enough to make
decisions on your own. And if she hasn’t recovered in time to go
back to work tomorrow or the next day, I’m sure you can stay with
Mrs. Unger until she gets back on her feet. If you change houses, be
sure to leave your forwarding address with her and I promise I’ll
find you, one way or another.”
Caroline’s chin
trembled and a tear streaked down one cheek before she rose from her
seat and rushed at Linder, pressing her face against his chest. He
did not have the heart to resist and wrapped his arms around her
narrow shoulders, as if that simple gesture would last for her as
long as Patricia’s young embrace had endured for him.
* * *
The following
morning, Linder rose at dawn and left the bungalow, carrying nothing
but a small daypack he had filled with a change of clothes and other
basics. At Jay’s apartment, he hopped into his friend’s
company-owned pickup for the ride to work. As planned, upon arrival
at the vitamin facility, Jay released the day’s work orders and
left the building a few minutes later for the parking lot. Linder
followed a short while later.
“Just got a call from
Dad a couple minutes ago,” Jay said as soon as they met outside.
“He wants to see us before we go.”
“Anything wrong?”
Linder asked.
“Let’s find out,”
Jay replied.
When Linder and Jay
opened Larry Becker’s office door a few minutes later, they found
Larry seated on the sofa with Deputy Eldon.
“Don’t worry,
boys,” Larry reassured when he saw the pair exchange worried
glances. “Eldon and the Sheriff are on our side.”
The deputy sheriff
acknowledged the two younger men with a formal nod before speaking.
“I promised your
father a long time ago I’d give you a head start if trouble was
headed your way, and that’s why I’m here. You all know what
happened today at Kamas. It came down a lot harder and a lot sooner
than anybody expected, and it’s hard to know where it will end, but
the fallout is already here.”
“What sort of
fallout?” Jay demanded.
“As I was telling
your father,” Eldon continued, “a swarm of federal agents landed
in town this morning aiming to round up suspects on their watch list,
especially former prisoners and undocumented persons. Both your names
came up.”
“Holy shit,” Jay
cursed.
Then Eldon turned to
Linder.
“But there was
another agent who also zeroed in hard on the Kendall woman and
anybody associated with her. He didn’t seem to have connected you
two, but I expect that when he does, it could mean trouble.”
“What makes you think
that?” Linder probed.
“He’s not from
around here,” the deputy replied. “He flew in from Washington and
seemed to know all about the Kendall woman, as if he’d been on her
case from the start. And he wasn’t letting anything get in his
way.”
“Can you describe
him?” Linder asked.
“Late thirties, maybe
six foot two, lanky build, fair hair combed straight back, and cold
blue eyes with the look of a rattler ready to strike,” Eldon
answered. “Why, you know him?”