Authors: Sonny,Ais
This time the silence was longer. For a moment it almost seemed like Sin had hung up but then there was a toneless, "I see."
Boyd thought about turning on the live feed again so he could see Sin's expression and get an idea of whether he was making matters worse. But that was an unfair advantage that he didn't want to take. He paused and then pressed on, deciding that since he'd started this he may as well finish it.
"It isn't that I don't value your opinion; I just didn't think you were interested in the planning. I thought it would be most efficient if I planned it based on research you likely didn't want to do, and I assumed if you had a better idea than what I presented then you would tell me."
Sin made a low sound on the other end. Judging from his tone, he didn't seem entirely trusting of this explanation. It was entirely likely that he now believed that all of their interaction that had been civilized and even sometimes pleasant had been an act. If that was the case, then he'd likely think this was now an effort to regain his trust. It was a frustrating situation.
"Why don't you come to the compound and we can discuss this in person," the senior agent said at length. His voice still held heavy notes of skepticism.
Boyd raised his eyebrows, mildly surprised by the suggestion. He'd half expected the man to hang up on him. "Alright. Where would you like to meet?"
"Come to my apartment," was the short reply. The line went dead immediately after.
Boyd slid his phone in his pocket and grabbed his keys on his way out. As he drove to the compound, he wondered about the situation. This was the first time he would be in Sin's apartment-- the first time either of them had invited the other to his house.
It was interesting that Sin hadn't chosen the typical neutral territory of a courtyard or somewhere else. However, there they wouldn't have even the modicum of privacy that Sin's apartment offered. Boyd assumed that Sin wanted to talk in person so he could see Boyd's body language and expression, to gauge whether he was telling the truth.
When he got to Sin's building he already had his ID card out from showing it to the guards. He saw the swipe pad next to Sin's locked door and remembered being told in passing something about his access rights. He swiped the card out of curiosity, half expecting it to not work. The lock pad flashed green and he opened the door, walking into Sin's apartment.
Boyd barely had the chance to see that Sin had put on a shirt before he registered Sin's reaction. The expression on Sin's face was one of genuine surprise. As the door shut, it turned to anger.
"Are you fucking kidding me?"
Boyd stopped, not expecting that greeting. "What?"
"Why do you have access to my quarters?" was the sharp demand.
"How should I know?" Boyd felt like Sin was accusing him of personally seeing to it that he had reason to anger Sin. "It's not as if I set the access myself. Ask HR."
"And so you take it upon yourself to just fucking barge in here?" Sin practically snarled in response, his eyes narrowing.
"You invited me over!" Boyd protested, defensive anger flaring in the face of Sin's aggression. "You were expecting me any time now. I didn't think it was such a problem."
Sin scoffed disgustedly. "You didn't think walking into someone's home without alerting them to your presence is a problem? You people think you have so much power over me that you can do whatever the hell you want."
"Stop assuming all this shit of me," Boyd snapped. "You keep accusing me of all these thoughts I never have."
"Well whatever fucking thoughts you have are obviously not making themselves seen in the way of your actions," Sin retorted. "You act like a
self-righteous
, condescending little bitch on the mission and now you walk into my apartment as if you have the right to have access to it. It never crossed your mind that you're crossing a line? It never occurred to you that you're invading my privacy just like everyone else does every fucking day?"
"I was just testing the card," Boyd shot back in frustration. "I didn't think it would work. I never would have even tried it if you hadn't invited me here and hadn't been expecting me any minute. I won't ever use the card like that again."
Sin just shook his head, looking off to the side as his jaw clenched and unclenched. His entire body was wrought with tension as he stood ramrod straight with his arms crossed.
Boyd sighed, feeling exasperated by the situation. He looked away broodingly, pushing his hair back from his face. This distance and misunderstanding kept seeming to happen between them. But he'd come over here to apologize and even if he had to stumble through it, he was determined to do so.
"I don't have ill intent when it comes to anyone, Sin, least of all you," he said with tired honesty. "I have times when I get frustrated or do something without thinking, just like anyone. I'm sorry for my mistakes but none of the issues today have been purposeful on my part."
Sin didn't respond or react even enough to show whether he was listening.
"I didn't want to argue," Boyd pressed on after a pause. "I only came to apologize. Earlier, I was frustrated after having spent hours on something that was completely ignored. Maybe it seemed like I think I know more about missions than you but I don't. When I get frustrated I say things I don't mean, and sometimes you seem to assume the worst of me no matter what I do. And..."
Boyd hesitated. He knew this was all on camera but at the same time it was important to him that Sin hear what had been on his mind all day. "And I don't want that. I don't want you second guessing me based on one or two events and ignoring everything else in between. I thought we were getting along better lately. I wanted it to stay that way."
Sin still didn't respond and after a moment, Boyd sighed and dropped his hands at his sides. His expression closed off as he turned away. He wasn't going to put himself out there like this if Sin wasn't going to do anything other than act like a statue.
"Forget it."
Before he could turn the door handle Sin grabbed his arm and yanked it back. Boyd was briefly tugged off balance. He jerked at his arm but Sin didn't shift; his fingers were as strong as steel and just as unyielding.
Frustrated and annoyed, Boyd twisted and shoved Sin in the chest to get him to back off. It had zero effect aside from making Sin's eyes narrow.
"Just fucking wait," he said, jerking Boyd back.
"Let go of me," Boyd snapped.
Sin was as strong and unmovable as a mountain. The thought that Boyd couldn't get away grew stronger as Sin didn't give in at all. Boyd started to struggle more in earnest, becoming unnerved. It was beginning to feel too much like being held down and a thrill of alarm made his heartbeat skyrocket.
He tried to twist out of Sin's grip but Sin snapped his other hand out and grabbed Boyd by both his arms. Long fingers dug into him before Sin abruptly slammed him back against the wall, pinning him with hands digging into his upper arms.
Suddenly Sin's face was so close to his that their noses were nearly touching. Vivid green eyes were blazing down into his and Sin was growling again, "I said wait."
The words caused Boyd to still, his chest shifting as he caught his breath. The panic that had started to set in at being immobilized faded as Sin's uttered words caused his breath to mingle with Boyd's harsh pants. Boyd made a conscious effort to try to calm himself, to stop his chest from heaving against Sin's from the exertion to get away. The panic was gone but the remnants of it only made him hyper aware of their proximity.
The smell of Sin, freshly showered, his still damp hair against Boyd's face, his mouth shockingly close when his lips parted to speak. Those intense green eyes burning into Boyd with smoldering intensity that seemed at the moment just as caught as Boyd's. Sin's lips parted as if he was going to speak again, but he didn't. His eyes just remained locked with Boyd's, his fingers loosening although they didn't slide away.
"Why?" Boyd's voice came out a little rough.
The response wasn't immediate. Sin's eyebrows drew together and he opened his mouth to speak but closed it soon after. There was frustration in his face at that moment-- frustration that was marked by confusion. Whatever was causing it didn't make Sin back off, though. He remained nearly pressed against Boyd as his narrowed-eyed gaze skimmed over Boyd's face before focusing intently on his eyes. His hands shifted, bracing against the wall on either side of Boyd's shoulders.
The feeling of Sin's body so close against Boyd was causing his thoughts to scatter. He couldn't help noting Sin's muscular shoulders. He knew what Sin's chest looked like beneath his shirt, covered in beads of water that slowly traveled down his body.
With Sin so close, it was impossible not to think about that, and impossible not to notice how attractive his features were. Boyd's gaze started to drop to Sin's full lips but he made himself look back up to Sin's eyes before he could. Not that staring at those green eyes was much better. Uncertainty dominated the confusing emotions that were beginning to swirl inside of him.
"What do you want?" he pressed.
"You--" Sin broke off and scowled. He backed off as suddenly as he'd made contact and retreated a step. The last vestiges of confusion disappeared as he said gruffly, "You piss me off."
The attraction Boyd had been feeling faded with Sin's words and the loss of his proximity. Boyd raised his eyebrows, giving Sin a mildly incredulous look as he pushed himself away from the wall. Now he was just annoyed again.
"
That's
what you wanted me to stay and hear?"
Sin turned away and stood with obvious tension. There was hesitation before he spoke but when he did it was awkwardly. "I don't know what to believe when it comes to you. I don't trust you. I don't trust anyone
.
And I don't want to."
Boyd crossed his arms and looked away. "I don't know what to say to that."
"Don't say anything," Sin snapped, turning again. He ran his hands through his damp hair, exhaling slowly. "Just shut up for a change."
The senior agent went silent again, watching Boyd out of the corner of his eye. He seemed unsettled by something and it was making him fidget as he haltingly spoke the next few words. "I like getting along with you. But I don't trust you. And I don't know what to fucking do about that."
Boyd was quiet, watching Sin for a period of silence. "Well," he said, his eyebrows drawing together. "I don't entirely either, but since we both like getting along with each other why don't we keep aiming for that?"
"I don't know how to get along with people." Sin sighed disgustedly and looked at Boyd fully again. "I'm twenty-eight and you're the first person I ever had a normal conversation with. You can't expect much from me. And if you do, you will be sadly disappointed."
"I'm not particularly extroverted myself so I can't promise I'll do much better," Boyd said, shaking his head. "But I'm willing to at least try for this partnership."
At that, Sin stared at him in seemingly genuine confusion. "Why?"
"Because it's a significant portion of my existence at this point," Boyd said honestly. "And since I prefer to get along with you rather than not, I see no reason to not put in effort."
Not looking entirely convinced, the senior agent shook his head. "We'll see."
C
hapter 13
Boyd's shoulder twinged as he hit the floor hard. He half skidded, half rolled across the cement floor for a brief moment but was able to turn the momentum to his favor. He caught himself on his hands and looked back over his shoulder but he couldn't see anything around the crates. Bullets shot tiny crevices out of the wall above his head and the sound of men shouting and screaming echoed alarmingly in the warehouse. He couldn't make sense of anything except that within a matter of seconds, absolute chaos had exploded around him.
A man went careening past the crates; he hit the wall so hard Boyd heard a disturbing crack and blood splattered out in rivulets. He collapsed against the floor in a heap as Boyd stared with widened eyes. He stayed crouched down as he moved toward the crates that were sheltering him from the fight. When he peered around, what he saw was almost like being in a dream.
The warehouse he and Sin had been sent to destroy, taking the node of a rebel group along with it, was supposed to hold fifteen men. They'd arrived to find closer to forty. And at that moment, a good ten looked to be dead or dying and the rest were trying to kill Sin.
And none of them were succeeding.
Sin was like the eye of a storm and the men darting in and flying out around him were his tornado. He had his guns out, shooting with both hands at the same time even in different directions. His bare arms gleamed with sweat and what looked like blood, and the same could be said of his face. His expression was set in that distant, serious look Boyd had seen on some of the videos. The face of death.
As Boyd watched, Sin killed five men in succession, blasting out the backs of their heads with perfect shots to the foreheads, or felling them where they stood by hits to the throat and chest. The ones who came close enough received violent kicks that had them flying backward, or hits with his elbows and the sides of his guns.
But even as they fell, others came at him like cockroaches.
Sin sheathed the guns so fast Boyd hardly noticed it happening, and soon the fight turned to bare hands. Throats were ripped out, shoulders dislocated and people thrown through the air as if they weighed no more than a paper doll. One man screamed as he was thrown back, slamming against someone behind him. The two fell in a heap of curses and growls and were nearly trampled by three others trying to rush Sin at once.
Sin jerked one man around to take the knife of another man's attack. The knife went straight in the gut while the injured man stared in shock. Sin casually snapped his neck so hard his head nearly spun backwards. Sin was already breaking the back of the man behind him as the first man fell.
Even without weapons, blood sprayed around Sin in arcs as he ripped bodies apart with little to no effort. When the hostiles shot at Sin he evaded or dragged other people up to serve as human shields. Bones snapped, breaking through skin and showing gruesomely as white shards while blood spurted out. Bodies tumbled, some in disarray and some looking mostly
intact
, but almost all of the faces were set in looks of surprise. As if the person never expected to die here.
People ran past Boyd's hiding place, not noticing him, and he stayed where he was. He would be of no use in a fight like this; he was still trained primarily for small groups or one on one.
As he watched in a mild form of disbelief at the carnage that was happening around him, he tried to make sense of how it had all started. He and Sin had been setting explosives around the warehouse. It was going to be a simple bomb job and they'd been careful to be quiet. Still, they hadn't counted on the numbers and that had been their downfall.
Boyd had been leaning over to set one of the final explosives when he heard a sound. He'd looked up just in time to see a gun aimed at him. Sin had thrown him out of the way as the gun went off.
And then... this.
The first man Boyd had seen die had been the gunman and so far he seemed to have been the only one who knew Boyd was there. Sin had immediately become the center of focus for the entire warehouse and he was halfway across the cavernous room. Far away from where anyone would think to peek behind some stacked crates to see if there was anyone else to fight.
It made it seem like Sin had been protecting him. Like Sin had purposefully drawn them away to keep Boyd safe from a fight he would no doubt lose. But that couldn't be. He was probably reading into it too much... Wasn't he?
There was a scream that was cut short abruptly, the thump of another body hitting the floor, and then silence. It stretched for a moment before the sound of a single pair of booted feet walking across the concrete floor echoed across the room.
Boyd looked out from his point of cover.
As expected, Sin was the only one left standing. He was completely covered in evidence of the carnage. Blood streaked his face, splattered his clothes and dampened his hair. It was difficult to tell if any of it was his but aside from a slightly halting gait when he strode quickly to Boyd's side, he seemed fine.
"Set the charges anyway," Sin said flatly, green eyes devoid of emotion as they surveyed the room.
There was a brief beat of silence while Boyd stared at him before he looked away abruptly with a nod. As he moved out from behind the crates, he could see the massacre that was left.
It was like seeing a real life version of some of the video games he'd once played, a long time ago. How could so many people have been killed by one man? How could that man have used his bare hands for some of it? And how could it all be over so quickly? It seemed impossible.
There was no way to avoid pools of blood as he returned to where he'd been crouched before everything went to hell. He finished arranging that explosive. His fingers came away sticky with blood and something else, possibly some brain matter. He ignored it and simply wiped his hands on a clean patch of floor. He was going to have to wash his hands later.
He stood again, glancing sidelong through a fall of blond hair to check Sin but the senior agent had his back turned to Boyd as he presumably checked on something over there. There had been one explosive that Boyd remembered thinking may not have been set properly across the warehouse. He skirted the perimeter of the room to walk over there.
His boots made sticky, sucking noises as he passed through puddles of blood. He crouched by the other explosive and couldn't help looking over at the pile of bodies near him. It was an intense caricature of life cut short. It didn't even seem real.
He surveyed the room again before he turned and silently walked back toward Sin.
He stopped at Sin's side, his fingers curling around the remote as he pulled it out of his coat pocket. He held it up to show that they could remotely detonate whenever they wanted.
"I'm ready."
Sin didn't answer and the two of them left. It was dark outside, aiding in concealing the blood that spattered Sin. They got into the van and drove a block away before Boyd hit the detonation switch. The explosion rocked the van and broke out windows on some of the neighboring buildings. Fire erupted, casting strange, flickering shadows across the street as they calmly drove away.
They were gone before anyone could respond and notice they'd been there.
The
safe house
they had for this mission was an empty apartment in an area of the city where no one paid much attention to anyone else. On the drive over, Sin didn't speak much so Boyd didn't either.
When they got in the apartment, Sin immediately went to the bathroom. The sound of the pipes shuddering as the shower turned on could be heard through the wall. Boyd packed up their gear and did a sweep of the apartment to ensure they weren't leaving anything behind. He had their bags packed and ready to go by the time Sin stepped out of the bathroom, wearing fresh clothing and with the heat of the shower still flushing his complexion. They shouldered the bags and left the apartment, with Sin taking only a short detour down the alley to throw his bloody clothing into the dumpster.
They were back at the van and on the road again not long after having blown up the warehouse. Boyd ended up in the passenger seat, which he was glad of. He'd driven out here and although he hadn't had a physically intensive part of the mission he was still tired. Since it was going to take six or more hours to drive back to the Agency and it was already the dead of night, Boyd was glad to be able to stretch out. Still, having to not pay attention to the road just meant he had more time to think about everything. Which meant he found himself discreetly watching Sin as the city lights flashed by them.
Sin's face was cast in stark shadows as they passed between dark and light areas of the city. It made the unreadable quality of his expression seem tenfold, and lent weight to the silence between them. Although Sin had showered, Boyd still couldn't look at him without remembering the blood coating him. The flecks of something else spattered across his form like he was some nouveau art installation decorated by pieces of a corpse.
Boyd looked away, his eyes narrowing pensively as he stared out the window. He almost felt uncomfortable even turning his head away from Sin; like he had to keep him in his peripheral vision to make sure he wouldn't suddenly snap and attack him too.
The scene kept replaying in his mind. The sheer power and speed that Sin possessed; the silence with which he could move. The fact that he could get behind someone and kill them before they even realized they weren't alone.
And the bodies lying in blood.
For a moment, the memory overlaid with another; eyes wide and set in death. Glassy and too grey for how bright they'd been in life. Blood hot and metallic against his face and that hateful red creeping closer and closer.
Looking down and seeing his hands coated in blood and gore. Gloves of death.
Boyd shifted in the seat, his jaw setting and expression turning stony. He shut that thought off abruptly, even though it left the taste of nausea in the back of his throat. That fearful dread gripped his heart and made it feel like it was beating in the deep pressure of the sea.
Don't think about it,
he told himself harshly the same as he had so many other times.
It doesn't matter. It's not real. Forget about it. Forget about all of it. It's over.
But the massacre in the warehouse was too fresh. He could do his best to ignore the other things it made him think of but he couldn't forget the blood and death. He couldn't forget how incredibly easy it had looked for Sin.
Forty men against one. How were those odds possible in reality? How was it possible that Sin was barely injured? How could they be sitting here so civilly inside the car as if nothing had happened? As if Sin hadn't just washed the blood of so many men off his body like it was nothing?
And yet... Strong hands gripping his arm and yanking him back. The spark of a bullet ricocheting off the floor where he'd just been crouched. The crates protecting him as all hell broke loose.
He could have died tonight. He probably would have, had Sin not thrown him to the side where no one knew he was there.
Boyd looked sidelong at Sin again.
Sin flicked his gaze to Boyd and then away. He didn't say anything but Boyd could see the tension in his shoulders.
What was he supposed to do with this information?
On the one hand, he'd known Sin could kill this easily. He'd seen it on some of the videos. But things felt different when he was watching it on the screen versus being there in the room. It felt more real hearing the bones breaking and seeing the bodies falling and stepping through the blood to complete his mission.
On the other hand, Sin had saved him. But wasn't that just his job? As far as that went, hadn't it been his job to kill them as well? Wasn't Sin just following orders either way?
Except Sin had gotten hurt protecting Boyd before. He'd saved even saved Boyd's life on that Andrews mission. He'd told Boyd later that he didn't want another partner and that he didn't have much interest in Boyd dying. So was he helping Boyd because he was Boyd, or was he doing what he needed to do for a partner who was bearable?
Was he doing this all in self-interest or was there another reason?
The more he thought about it, Sin didn't act the same around the others. He seemed to hate being around many other people-- even Ryan, who everyone liked and who had been on Sin's side for a long time, and Carhart, who seemed to be trying to help Sin when he could. Yet Sin seemed to show interest in Boyd sometimes. He was civil toward him and there had even been the occasional time when something approximating friendliness had passed between them.
Sometimes Sin looked at him in a way Boyd couldn't identify. Sometimes it seemed like Sin actually cared about Boyd's existence. Yet other times it felt like nothing had changed between them from the first moment they'd met. There were times he had no idea at all what Sin was thinking and those times bothered him more than he cared to admit.
But then there was his blank expression as he killed people. The strength in him as blood spread like arced wings. The void in his eyes and the violence in his hands.
Sin could go either way. He was quiet and intelligent, sitting in the corner of a library talking about Milton and poetry he read when he had the chance. He was silent and alienated, sitting alone in his apartment as the darkness swallowed him the way it so often felt it swallowed Boyd in his own home. He was violent and uncontrollable, tearing at people like so much meat and shooting them with a sure hand that never wavered. He was pensive and unreadable, flicking his eyes between Boyd and the enemies as if to ensure his safety, and watching him from the corner of his eye as if wondering what his younger partner was thinking.