Evenfall (40 page)

Sin, on the other hand, stopped walking a short distance away. As Boyd got into the driver's seat, he noticed that Sin wasn't making any move to get into the van.

Boyd paused, his hand on the door as he'd been getting ready to shut it. He glanced back the way they'd come, making sure there wasn't any pursuit they hadn't noticed. "What the hell are you doing? Get in."

"No, I think I'll pass on that." Sin looked at him for a brief moment before turning and walking away with a toneless, "Later."

"What?" Boyd burst out incredulously. He half stepped out of the van. "We're over a hundred miles from home!"

Sin didn't respond and he easily swung himself over the railing at the side of the road. His boots crunched over an old and long forgotten memorial cross that had been pegged into the earth there.

"Sin!" Boyd called after his partner. "Come back! How are you going to get back? What if something happens?"

Sin kept walking without even so much as looking over his shoulder. He disappeared into a grove of trees nearby. Boyd hesitated by the van, anger and uncertainty warring within him. It occurred to him to run after Sin but what was he going to do? Sin was twice as strong as he was; there was no way he'd be able to drag him back. If Sin was determined to do his own thing there was nothing Boyd could do about it.

"God damnit," he hissed to himself and dropped back into the van, slamming the door shut. He put the van in drive and took off, taking a route that brought him along the woods as long as possible so he could keep an eye out for Sin.

He didn't see him again and soon he had to veer away to get to the interstate.

The more space he put between Sin and him, the more frustrated he grew. He couldn't help feeling resentful of Sin, as if this was some punishment for the argument on base. Yet he also couldn't help wondering how the hell Sin was going to get back to Lexington, and whether he would be okay. What if Di Zhi found him? What if he got hurt?

At the same time, Sin was one of the best agents at the Agency. If he didn't want to be found then it was unlikely Di Zhi would catch him unaware. But Boyd was his partner and was supposed to be there with him in the unlikely event something like that happened. What was Boyd supposed to do in this situation? How was he supposed to convince someone as stubborn as Sin to listen to him when the man always seemed to do whatever the hell he wanted whenever the hell he wanted?

Twenty miles out of the town he almost turned and went back. He got off on the ramp but at the intersection where he could turn to go back the way he'd come, he stopped.

He couldn't just abandon Sin. For all that he was angry with the man, it bothered him immensely to not know if he was okay. He didn't like the image of Sin walking silently away.

But what was he going to do? He had no idea where Sin was and if he ran into the woods alone he would probably just get lost. Or, worse, get himself caught by Di Zhi while Sin meanwhile would probably be just fine and somehow end up back in Lexington safe and sound.

He had to get the information back to the Agency. If he failed to complete this, the Agency would research the mission and hear from the van's audio that he'd been yelling for Sin to return. If he was caught a second time having an argument with Sin that resulted in issues between them...

It wasn't worth the consequences. If he failed the mission and lost Sin, there was no doubt his mother would follow through on her threats, if she didn't do something worse. If he at least got the information back on time then he could give Sin time to return on his own and the Agency may never know about any of this. Still, he wished this situation hadn't occurred because if the Agency found out about any of this he was probably the one who would receive the punishment, not Sin. They would say he'd failed in his duties to keep an eye on Sin.

This was exactly what he'd been talking about to Sin; he never knew what to expect from the other man. And since Boyd was the probationary agent, any issues would fall on his shoulders to be explained or to take the punishment.

It was so frustrating, especially since they'd been getting along better lately. He felt uneasy with this entire change and was even more frustrated with himself for his indecision. His fingers gripped the steering wheel and he hesitated until a car that had been stopped behind him finally honked impatiently.

"Damn it," he growled to himself.

His face set seriously and he ended up continuing on his way to the Agency. It was the best option available to him, even if it left an uncomfortable feeling in the pit of his stomach.

The rest of the drive to the Agency was uneventful. He was able to enter the compound and submit his report without Sin's absence being noticed by anyone. Or, if it was, no one commented on it. Although it did occur to him that it was possible Sin would use the opportunity to run, he highly doubted the man would. After all, there was a tracking device in him.

As far as that went, if Sin did want to flee the Agency, even angry with him Boyd wouldn't be able to blame him.

By the time he finished all his duties and got home, he still felt restless. He couldn't get the image of Sin walking silently away out of his mind. He couldn't help going in circles in his mind, worrying about how Sin was doing and cursing him for it coming to this. After a short period of time it occurred to him to check the live feed to Sin's apartment. When he pulled it up and found the place to be empty, the questions only grew.

He waited a few minutes and then shut it down, frustrated with himself.

Why should he care if Sin was alright anyway? Sin had caused as much of this problem as Boyd himself had, and he'd been the one to walk away. Boyd had tried to get him back in the van, hadn't he? It wasn't his problem what Sin decided to do.

But it
was
his problem. And it was his responsibility to look after Sin when he did unexpected things like this. That was why he was even at the Agency.

Boyd ended up in the living room, feeling stressed out. He dropped onto the couch and leaned forward, squeezing his eyes shut and resting his elbows on his knees. His fingers dug into his hair and he let out a harsh breath.

As his resentment and frustration faded, and as he went over the argument in the base, he had to acknowledge a few things that at the time he'd been too angry to notice.

First, Sin had never actually insulted his plan. He'd only stated that he'd followed his own route. Boyd had been so frustrated by Sin's ability to always one up him in everything that he'd automatically taken it as an insult to his skills when it was possible Sin hadn't been thinking anything of the sort. Second, Boyd had been the first person to insult Sin. Sin hadn't started being caustic until Boyd had implied he didn't think ahead.
When he thought harder about it, in a way he had contradicted himself. He wanted Sin to treat him as a partner, yet he hadn't asked Sin what he thought when initially crafting the plan.

It was so frustrating to him.

It wasn't like he hadn't asked because he didn't value Sin's opinion. It was simply that Sin had so rarely shown any interest in the planning of the mission that Boyd had automatically taken over. Planning missions was what he felt most comfortable doing and what he thought he was best at, whereas Sin was best at fighting and executing the mission itself.

Guilt became a weight alongside worry and frustration and it was all muddied by surprise that he even cared in the first place. What did it matter to him what Sin thought? Why should he care if he'd been unintentionally rude?

Yet it did matter. And he did care. And he didn't understand why.

Still, he couldn't deny the worry that continued to eat at him, nor could he ignore the increasingly unlikely scenarios that popped into his mind about what may have happened to Sin after they'd parted. That only increased the frustration.

Time seem to stretch endlessly. At length, he gave in and decided to check the live feed again. It was a few hours after he'd returned; surely Sin would have had enough time by now?

At first he didn't see anything in Sin's apartment. He watched for several minutes and was just starting to consider attempting to focus his attention elsewhere when Sin's door opened. Sin entered the apartment and Boyd felt such relief at seeing him that at first he didn't notice how angry the other man looked.

Sin strode toward the bathroom the moment the door shut behind him. Boyd could see that his jeans were muddy and he looked slightly damp, probably from the rain that had started to fall. Sin stripped off his clothing, leaving it as a trail on his way to the bathroom.

As soon as Sin was naked and went to turn on the shower, Boyd switched to the view in the living room. Sin had enough issues of violations of privacy without Boyd adding to it on his own.

Even though Sin had walked around naked in front of him before, it still made Boyd feel uncomfortable to see someone when they weren't aware it was happening.

Instead, he idly looked around Sin's living room. He'd seen the place often enough when he'd watched the live feed. Although he gave Sin his privacy in the bathroom, he couldn't stop himself from watching Sin in his apartment where he seemed to be aware of the scrutiny of others. He'd tried to avoid the live feed after he'd first discovered it but he'd found himself returning there more than once; looking for those elusive flashes of who Sin may really be.

Sin wasn't in the shower long and soon reappeared with a clean pair of jeans. When he strode to the kitchen, his expression dark and nearly pensive, Boyd found his gaze running down Sin's body almost absently.

A few beads of water still clung to his sculpted body, trailing along muscles that narrowed to hips that seemed in danger of being exposed by the low pants. A possibility that seemed even more evident when Sin jerked the refrigerator door open and pulled out a carton of juice.

His green eyes were narrowed and eyebrows lowered thunderously even when he tilted his head back and drank straight from the carton. When he was finished, Sin shoved the carton back into the fridge and pulled out a candy bar that he unwrapped and started eating. Even with the chocolate bar in his hand, he was glowering at thin air. The scene was incongruous and yet so much like what Boyd had become accustomed to with Sin.

Boyd watched him, wondering what his dual feeling of unease and comfort meant.

Since he didn't have an answer for himself, and couldn't even be certain he was assigning the correct labels to his own reactions, he ignored the feeling and focused instead on Sin's obvious aggravation. Sin balled up the wrapper and threw it into the garbage. Soon, he started pacing.

The guilt Boyd felt before returned as he wondered whether Sin was so aggravated because of him. It very possibly was the case.

Sin's comment that the past few weeks had been a lie ran through his mind again. Did Sin truly think that? Did he actually believe Boyd had been playing him all along? And if so, did this mean Sin was going to return to the way he'd been before? Judging by the way Sin had been acting back in town, Boyd worried that may be the case. And that was the last thing he wanted.

It surprised him that he cared that much about it but he couldn't deny that he did. He'd come to appreciate having someone to talk to on some level; someone who didn't automatically hate him for his name or the position he'd gained. Someone who didn't take it as a personal affront if he wanted to be quiet for a few minutes or, at times, hours. Someone whose fleeting expressions of interest or intrigue or even near-camaraderie felt like a victory over the suspicious glares from the past.

He didn't want to lose all the progress they'd made simply because of one ill-timed argument and misunderstanding. A wave of uneasiness moved through him again and he reached for his phone without thinking. He dialed Sin's number, staring at the numbers flashing on his phone before turning his gaze up to the computer screen when he heard Sin's phone ringing.

On the screen Sin had paused to lean against the counter with his arms crossed over his chest. His face was turned to the side and half cast in shadow as he appeared to stare into space. However he looked over at the phone.

Sin's mouth twisted slightly and a distinct look of annoyance washed over him before he pushed himself away from the counter. He crossed the kitchen in two strides and grabbed his phone without even looking at the screen.

"What?" he demanded curtly.

"Hi," Boyd said into the phone as he closed down the screen. He didn't want to be staring at Sin's expressions when Sin didn't have the chance to look at him in return. It didn't feel right.

There was a brief silence and then a flat, "What do you want?"

Boyd paused, realizing he didn't know exactly what to say. He'd called with the thought that he didn't want it to return to the way it had been before and yet he wasn't entirely sure how to go about that. "I wanted to make sure you'd made it back alright," he said after a moment.

"I'm not entirely incompetent at traveling."

"I wasn't implying you were."

There was another pause before Sin said, "Well, as you can see I survived. Are we done?"

"No. Look--" Boyd sighed, bringing a hand to his forehead and closing his eyes. He'd never been particularly good at admitting his own faults. He'd been raised to be so proud that sometimes he felt at a loss as to how to properly word apologies. "It wasn't my intention to insult you on the mission. I was frustrated."