Embracing the Unexpected (10 page)

She nodded.

“So, now that you’re interested in Jack, you’re remembering
some things that occurred between you and Mike.” Jace knew she had some
repressed memories that stemmed further than what had happened with Mike. Every
time he got her to scratch the surface, she pulled back and said she didn’t
want to talk about it. He was hoping she’d finally realized discussing the past
was the only way she could move forward.

“It’s not serious between me and Jack, so far it’s been
mainly business, but he’s asked me to dinner and I want to go, but I’m afraid.
He’s nothing like Mike, but I didn’t think Mike would ever hurt me like that
either.”

“I understand, and we can work on those trust issues as
well, but now, I want you to tell me why you came to see me.” He knew it was
important, otherwise she wouldn’t have shown up there today when she had a
scheduled appointment the following day. She wasn’t there to discuss Jack.

“I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately, and I’m not
sure why. It’s not something I like to remember.” She took a calming breath.
“Parker says sometimes in the beginning, after that night I left Mike, I’d cry
in my sleep about things that happened to me, but I would tell him he
misunderstood.”

Jace got her a glass of water and encouraged her to
continue. He’d been waiting for her to open up, and he hoped they’d make some
progress with her impromptu visit.

“Parker didn’t misunderstand,” she whispered. “Mike didn’t
just physically and verbally abuse me.”

“It’s okay,” Jace said. “Take your time.”

“One night, we were out with some friends and Mike had too
much to drink, so I said I wanted to drive. He was furious and insisted he was fine.”
She paused, closed her eyes, and tried to manage her breathing. “His friends
intervened and told him he was being stupid and I should drive. He listened
then, because he realized everyone else knew he was in no condition to drive.”

She was visibly upset and shaking, but Jace needed her to
continue. He couldn’t help her if she didn’t tell him what had happened.

“Ava, I know this is hard and we can go as slow as you need,
but just like all the other stuff you told me about, once I know, I’ll be able
to help you sort it all out.”

She nodded. “Once we got home, I knew he was going to be so
mad and I was going to get the brunt of his wrath. I thought if he just slapped
me, it would be worth it because I got us home safely. He was too drunk to
drive. He kept yelling at me and shoving me around, but he didn’t hit me. I
kept waiting for it, but he didn’t. He finally stopped yelling and went to get
a beer. I figured he’d just pass out, so I went upstairs and got ready for
bed.” She sipped her water and waited a few seconds before continuing. “He
didn’t pass out.”

She shook her head, and Jace noticed her normally bronzed
colored skin was now a few shades paler. She looked like she might be sick.

“What happened?” he asked, already knowing the answer.

“I was sitting on the bed, watching TV when he came in.” She
shook her head again. “I told him I didn’t want to fight and apologized for
embarrassing him. He smiled as he walked toward me and sat on the bed. I didn’t
want him there. He made me feel uncomfortable. He had this wild look in his
eyes. I’d seen it before.”

“On Mike?”

“I told him to leave. He reached for my arm and pulled me
toward him and kissed my neck. I pushed him away and told him to stop. I didn’t
even know him.”

“You didn’t know who?” Jace was confused.

“No one had ever touched me like that before and I didn’t
like it,” she cried. “I was so young.”

“Ava, slow down,” Jace directed. “Who are we talking about?”

“Mike,” she yelled. “I don’t know. He smelled like beer and
cigarettes. He was looking for my mom, but she wasn’t home. I didn’t want him
in my room. I was studying for a test.”

Jace quickly figured out she was confusing two separate
traumas. It wasn’t unusual for a victim to merge two repressed memories
together. If she pushed both unpleasant memories far enough inside her mind
she’d have a harder time separating them.

“How old were you, Ava?”

“Fourteen,” she sobbed. “He wanted my mother, but she wasn’t
home. He kept touching me and pulling at my pajama bottoms. I kept telling him
to stop, but he didn’t. He said I belonged to him. Mike said that too, and then
he—”

“Ava, stay focused. Let’s talk about when you were fourteen
first,” Jace instructed. “What happened in your bedroom at your mom’s house?”

“No. Nothing,” she cried. “Nothing happened. Parker was my
first. I didn’t bleed but Parker was my first. I was sixteen.”

“Ava, we’re talking about the night in your bedroom when you
were fourteen. There was a man in your room with you. What did he do?”

She jumped up and paced the room like a caged animal. “I
can’t. Please don’t make me tell you. Please. I was wrong. Nothing happened.”
She continued to scream and cry out before dropping to the floor and pulling
her knees into her chest.

Just as he was about to go to her and tell her it was okay,
Parker burst through the door.

“What the hell’s wrong with her?” he yelled as he went to
her and dropped down next to her, wrapping his arms around her. “Ava, I’m
here.”

“Parker,” Jace said. “I need you to leave. You’re
interfering in her therapy. I can take it from here.” Jace didn’t understand
why Parker was here. Didn’t he think Jace could handle the situation?

“Look at her.” She was shaking and crying.

Jace knew it looked bad, but this was a natural response.

“I could hear her screaming from out front. She can’t handle
this.”

“She was making a breakthrough,” Jace insisted. “You
shouldn’t be in here. I’m asking you to leave my office. Please, Parker.”

“I’m taking her with me,” Parker said as he picked Ava up.
“She’s had enough.”

“I don’t want her to leave like this,” Jace said. “Let me
calm her down.”

Jace didn’t appreciate Parker storming in and taking control
of the situation. He could be doing more harm than good in the long run.

“Parker.” Jace stepped toward them. “Wait outside.”

“Jace,” Ava said. “I’m okay. Please don’t fight, not over
this.”

“We need to discuss this,” Jace pleaded.

“No.” She shook her head. “Not now. I want to go.”

“I’ll take you,” Parker offered.

“No,” Ava said. “I’m good. You stay here with Jace.”

“No,” Jace said as he stared at Parker. “He should take you,
clearly he knows what’s best for you.”

“What was I suppose to think? I heard her screaming and
crying. I acted on instinct.”

“I told you I could handle it,” Jace said. “I’m her doctor.”

“Jace,” Ava said. “I still want to explain. Can we talk
about it tomorrow?”

“Yes, but if you need me, call my cell.” Jace walked toward
the door.

“Jace?” Parker walked toward him. “I didn’t mean to
interrupt.”

“It’s over.”

“What’s over?”

Jace was too upset to discuss this now. “Please take her
home. She shouldn’t drive and she shouldn’t be alone. I’ll see you tomorrow,
Ava, unless you need me sooner.”

“I’ll come back later,” Parker said.

“It’s not necessary.” Jace looked down at the floor. He was
a very calm man by nature, and that was what made him so good at his work. When
he got angry or upset, he knew it was best to distance himself from the
situation. He didn’t want to lash out at Parker.

“You don’t mean that,” Parker said.

“Yes, I think I do.”

“Jace, please,” Ava said. “Parker worries about me.”

“Ava, I take my work very seriously, and I’ve never had
anyone barge in when I was with a patient.”

“I didn’t mean to, but—” Parker tried to explain.

“Please,” Jace said. “I have to finish an article, so if you
two could show yourselves out, I’d appreciate it.”

Jace turned around and headed up to his house. He was so
angry and was trying very hard not to take it out on Parker, especially not in
front of Ava. She’d been through enough. She’d been reaching out to him and had
been interrupted. As a professional, it didn’t get any more serious than that.
As he walked down the path to his house he heard the rest of Parker and Ava’s
conversation as they exited his office.

“Go after him.”

“No,” Parker said. “He’s really upset.”

“And that’s why you need to go to him. Fix this,” Ava
insisted.

Jace hoped Parker didn’t come after him. He wanted to be
alone. He needed time to sort through his emotions. It would be best if Parker
gave him his space.

“Come on,” Parker said. “Let’s get you home.”

Jace made dinner but had no desire to eat. Instead he pushed
the food around his plate with his fork before abandoning it altogether. It had
been a couple of hours since Parker took Ava home, and he hadn’t heard from
either of them. He hoped Ava was able to open up to Parker and express to him
what she was trying to tell Jace. He didn’t like not being able to help a
patient.

Jace realized he may have over reacted back at his office,
but he had this need to fix everyone, and he felt like a major opportunity was
missed for Ava when Parker interrupted them. Parker wasn’t a trained
psychiatrist and had only acted out of concern for his screaming, hysterical
friend. Jace should have been easier on him.

He glanced at his phone, wishing Parker would call. He
cleaned up from dinner and went to his study to put the finishing touches on
the article he’d been working on before Ava arrived earlier that day. He sat
there for an hour, staring at the computer screen, but it was useless. He
couldn’t get Parker out of his head. He looked so hurt when Jace told him to
leave. He knew he had to make this right, so he headed for the front door, but
before he even got there, Parker was standing in the foyer, staring at him with
those beautifully chilling gray eyes. Jace detected sadness behind them, and he
knew he was the one who put it there.

“Parker?” Jace stopped a few feet from him. “I was just
heading to your house.”

“Why?”

“Why?” Jace ran his fingers through his hair. “I think we
have some things to discuss.”

“Yes, that’s why I’m here.” Parker shoved his hands in his
pockets. “I would’ve come sooner, but Ava—” He shook his head and clenched his
teeth, causing his lips to form a hard line.

“How is she?”

“She told me what happened when she lived with her mom. Did
she get that far with you?”

Jace shook his head. “I have a pretty good idea of what went
down. I know you’re upset for her.”

“You have no idea,” he said. “She kept that from me all
those years. I could’ve been there for her.”

“I need to discuss this with her, but I honestly don’t
believe she knew back then she was keeping anything from you. She may have
blocked the whole incident out. I won’t know for sure until I speak with her.”

“She wants to keep her appointment tomorrow,” Parker said.
“She wanted me to come back here immediately, but I wanted to stay with her.”

“I’m glad you did.” Jace motioned for Parker to join him in
his study. “You’re a very good friend to her and she needed you.”

They took a seat on the leather couch. Jace felt awkward
about what had happened. He wanted to apologize for storming out, but he also
needed Parker to know why he was upset.

“It’s because I’m such a good friend,” Parker finally said
after a few minutes of uncomfortable silence, “that I burst into your session.
I know it was wrong, but when I heard her screaming all I could think about was
the night she came to my house so broken and hurt.”

Parker closed his eyes and Jace instinctually took his hand,
offering him comfort. He knew how responsible Parker felt for Ava. The bond between
them was like none Jace had ever seen before. At times, he was envious. Ava was
in a much better place with Parker than he was. Parker could openly bring her
around his friends and family. They didn’t have to hide their relationship.
Jace wondered if that was why he had reacted so strongly when Parker swooped in
to save her. Maybe he was jealous?

“I can’t get that image out of my head, no matter how hard I
try.” Parker leaned back against the cushions. Jace wanted to comfort him, but
he wasn’t sure if Parker wanted him to.

“What happened with Ava and Mike wasn’t your fault,” Jace
reminded him. “Ava is overcoming her past. I think you need to as well.”

“I know.” Parker nodded. “I’m sorry for interrupting your
session. I was out of line.”

“I get where you were coming from, even if I wasn’t thrilled
about it, but you have to understand, I take my work very seriously and just
because you and I are in a relationship doesn’t mean you can interfere in Ava’s
therapy.”

“I upset you,” he whispered. “I never want to do that
again.”

“Parker.” Jace rested his head against the cushions as he
looked into Parker’s eyes. “That’s not a realistic goal. Couples fight, and
we’ll be no different. I could have stayed and handled things better, but if
you remember anything from my anger management class, sometimes it’s best to
walk away and cool down. I needed some time. I didn’t want to lash out at you.”

“I understand, but when you walked out, it scared me.”
Parker reached out and stroked his cheek. “I can’t be without you. It took me
so long to find you.”

“I wouldn’t leave you over one misunderstanding. Can’t you
feel how much I love you?”

Jace could see the shock on Parker’s face, but he couldn’t
hold in his feelings any longer.

“You don’t have to reciprocate.” He brushed his lips against
Parker’s mouth. “I just wanted you to know.” Jace had been feeling that way
ever since New York, but he didn’t want to force Parker into admitting
something he wasn’t certain of. Jace respected how new this was for him. They’d
already shared more than he thought they could when he first met him.