Dream a Little Dream (40 page)

Her body, warm and pliant, bent against him. He ran his hands up along her spine, then cupped her hips.

Her lips parted and her arms entwined his neck.

He stopped thinking as he lost himself in their kiss.

He had no idea how much time had passed before she drew away and looked deeply into his eyes.
I love you, Eth.

Her lips didn’t move, but he heard her as clearly as he heard God’s voice. A sense of relief shot through him. Then she began to speak.

“This isn’t right. I want to more than I ever wanted anything, but it’s not right for you and it’s not right for me. This isn’t what God expects from us.”

The words were soft, spoken from her heart, but he shut them out.

Listen to her, Ethan,
Oprah admonished.
Listen to what she’s saying.

No. He refused to listen. He was a man, not a saint, and he was tired of letting God run his life. Instead, he slipped his hand beneath the hem of her dress and touched the soft skin beneath. “You were going to let Mike Reedy do this.” He drew his hand upward, taking the dress with him until he reached her bra. Gently he squeezed her breast through the lace.

“Maybe.”

“I don’t care what you say. I’m a better friend to you than he is.”

“Yes.”

He traced his thumb over the soft swell that rose above the top of the bra. “Why would you let him make love to you, but not me?”

She was quiet for so long that he didn’t think she’d answer. Then her fingers closed around his forearm. “Because I don’t need commitment to have sex with Mike Reedy.”

He froze. “Commitment?”

She stared at him with hungry eyes.

“Commitment? That’s what you want from me?”

She nodded, looking miserable.

He waited for the panic to hit him, but it didn’t happen. Commitment. What she really meant was
marriage
. He’d planned to get married someday, but that time had always been in the future. He withdrew his hand from beneath her dress.

“And I want love from you.” Her throat worked as she swallowed. “Love even before the commitment.”

He had to get something straight in his mind. “You don’t want commitment from Mike?”

She shook her head.

“And you don’t want love from him either?”

She shook it again.

“But you want it from me?”

She nodded.

He still didn’t feel any panic. Instead, he was filled with a sense of exhilaration that came all the way from his toes. It was as if a huge burden had been lifted from his heart.
Of course.

As clearly as if someone had snapped on the room’s small television set, he heard a song—a
children’s
song—along with a new voice echoing in his head.

As the song continued, a picture formed in his mind of all of Them combining into One: Eastwood, the Enforcer God; Oprah, the Counselor God; Marion Cunningham, the Mother God . . . They melded into a single new form.

The children’s song ended, and the voice began to speak.
I love you just the way you are, Ethan. You’re very special to Me. Through you, I shine the light of My love on all the world. You are My perfect creation. Just the way you are.

And then, in Ethan’s mind, this most wonderful God took off His formal suitcoat and slipped out of His stiff shoes. In a cozy sweater and sneakers, He sang His song of perfect love, telling all His children—every single one of them—that it was a beautiful day in His neighborhood.

At that moment, Ethan Bonner stopped fighting his destiny.

Kristy studied his expression, but, as well as she knew him, she couldn’t tell what he was thinking. She only knew there would be no going back for her. She’d set aside her pride and spoken from her heart. If he didn’t like it, that was his problem.

He took a deep breath. “Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Yes.” He gave a jerky nod. “Okay.”

“Okay what?” She was bewildered.

“Love. Commitment. The whole thing.” He grabbed the skirt of her dress and smoothed it back in place. “Kentucky.”

“Kentucky? What are you talking about? Oh, Eth, you
are
drunk. I knew it!”

“I’m not drunk!” He spun her toward the door. “Come on. We’re leaving right now.”

The knowledge crushed her, and her throat constricted as she turned to face him. “You don’t want me anymore.”

He pulled her back into his arms. “Oh, baby, I want you so much I can’t stand it. And I love you, too, so stop looking at me like that. I haven’t been able to think about anything else since you walked into my office in those tight white jeans.”

The small flame of hope that had started to burn inside her disappeared and she regarded him angrily. “You
love
me? Why don’t you just say what you mean? You
lust
after me.”

“That, too.”

She’d always been able to read him so clearly, but now she felt as if she were in the presence of a stranger.

“I don’t love you because of all the cosmetic changes you’ve made,” he said. “I’m not that shallow. It’s just that all those changes finally forced me notice you and appreciate what’s been right under my nose the whole time.” He gazed at her as if he could see into her soul and wanted her to see into his. The flame of hope began to burn anew inside her.

His thumb settled in the hollow at the base of her neck. “You’ve been in my life for so long that I stopped thinking about you as someone who existed separately from me. You were just part of me. And then all these changes happened, and you decided to leave me, and I’ve been going crazy ever since.”

“You have?” She felt delirious, entranced.

He smiled. “You don’t have to look so happy about it.” And then his forehead knitted, and a note of pleading sounded in his voice. “We can talk on the road. Come on, baby. Hurry. We really, really don’t have any time to waste.” He grabbed the doorknob with one hand, her shoulder with the other.

“Where are we going? Why are you in such a hurry?”

“We’re going to Kentucky.” He pulled her outside and hustled her toward his car. “It’s not far to the border. There’s no waiting period to get married, and we’re getting married tonight, Kristy Brown, no matter what you say. And I’m not leaving the ministry, either!”

They’d reached his car. He was beginning to sound as if he were running out of breath, and he stopped by the passenger door to fill his lungs. “We’ll do it all over again for our families when we get back. We can even pretend it’s the first time, but we’re getting married tonight because the two of us need to make love in the worst way, and it’s not going to happen unless we say some permanent vows before God first.” He froze. “You do want to get married, don’t you?”

Happiness bubbled inside her. She smiled, then laughed. “Yes, I really do.”

He squeezed his eyes shut. “Good. We’ll work out the details on the way.”

“What details?”

He pushed her into the car. “Where we’re going to live. How many kids we’re going to have. Who sleeps on what side of the bed. That sort of thing.” He slammed the door, rushed around to the other side of the car, and climbed in. “I also should tell you the reason your car wouldn’t start earlier was that I sneaked over to your condo and disconnected the battery cable so you’d have to ride with me. And I’m not sorry, so don’t think you’re going to get an apology!”

She didn’t ask for one, and, within minutes, they were back on the road.

Bemused, Kristy spent the next ninety miles listening to the strangest lecture she’d ever heard. Ethan had always been a stickler regarding premarital counseling for the couples he wed, and now he tried to condense everything he knew into the time it took them to cross the Kentucky border and make the arrangements. He talked and talked and talked.

Kristy smiled and nodded.

They found a Pentecostal minister who agreed to marry them, but Ethan conducted the ceremony. He was the one who asked her to repeat the vows he recited, and he was the one who spoke his own vows in a deep, intense voice that came directly from his heart.

It was Kristy, however, who spotted the Holiday Inn not far from the outskirts of the Cumberland Falls Resort State Park.

They’d barely set their suitcases down before she tackled him, and he fell backward onto the king-sized mattress. She looked so eager, so excited, so thoroughly pleased with herself, that he laughed.

“Gotcha!” she said.

While he tried to catch his breath, she tore at the buttons on his shirt, then lunged for his belt buckle.

He gazed up into the beautiful, intent eyes of his virgin bride. “Let me know if I’m scaring you.”

“Shut up and take off your pants.”

That cracked them both up. But they didn’t laugh for long; their mouths were too busy with hot, wet kisses. And since neither of them had the patience for slow disrobing, they were naked and groping each other within seconds.

“You’re beautiful,” she sighed as she stroked him. “Just the way I’d imagined.”

He cupped the spill of her breasts and tried to find his voice. “You’re even more than I imagined.”

“Oh, Eth . . . That feels so good.”

“You’re telling me.”

“I want you to do that a lot.”

“Remind me if I forget.”

She made a throaty moan as he ran his thumbs over her nipples.

“Do that again. Oh, yes . . .”

“Lie back, baby, and let me play with you.”

She did as he asked. His caresses grew more intimate, and she sobbed in her passion. “Oh, Eth, I want to do everything.” She moaned. “Yes.
That
. And I want . . . I want to
say
everything. Dirty words. I want to say dirty words. And dirty little phrases.”

“Go ahead.”

“I—I can’t think of any.”

He whispered a really good one in her ear.

Her eyes widened, and she climaxed beneath his hand.

Even though he was so hard he ached, he laughed because he was the only person in the world who knew her secret.

Kristy Brown Bonner was easy.

She calmed, but he was ready to explode. He longed to bury himself inside her, but, at the very last moment, he remembered something he’d forgotten to discuss in their hurried session of premarital counseling. He stroked her hair and noticed his hand was shaking from the effort it took to restrain himself. “Are we worried about getting you pregnant?”

“I don’t think so.” She regarded him searchingly. “Are we?”

He settled his weight between her thighs, kissed her, and thought of the babies they’d have. “No, we’re definitely not.”

She was tight and new and wet. He tried to take his time entering her, but she would have none of it. “
Now
, Eth . . . Please stop messing around. Oh, please . . . I want to remember this forever.”

He drove home, and, as he fully possessed her, he gazed down into her eyes. They were filled with tears of love.

His own vision blurred, and the depth of his love for this woman brought the ancient words of that first couple to his mind. “Flesh of my flesh,” he whispered. “Bone of my bone.”

She caressed his hips with her palms and whispered back, “Flesh of my flesh. Bone of my bone.”

They smiled. Their tears mingled. And when they came together, both of them knew that only God could have designed something so perfect.

“D
on’ get
too close, Chip.”

“What are you doin’?”

Gabe gritted his teeth. “I’m tearing off the porch so I can build a deck here.”

It was Saturday afternoon, and Gabe was supposed to be watching Chip. It was the first time Rachel had left him alone with the kid, but he knew she wouldn’t have done it if she hadn’t needed to run some mysterious errand in town. Gabe suspected that she was glad to find an excuse to get away from him. Ever since she’d made her announcement that she was leaving, she’d done her best to keep her distance.

He rammed the crowbar underneath one of the old rotted boards and shoved down on it. He was furious with her. Just because she couldn’t have everything the way she wanted, she was deserting him. Deserting
them!
He’d thought she was tough, but she wasn’t tough enough for this. Instead of sticking it out and trying to solve their problems, she was running.

“What’s a deck?”

He regarded the child impatiently. Just as he’d gotten into the physically satisfying work of tearing off the back porch, Chip had abandoned the hole he was digging in the garden and come over to bother him.

“It’ll be like the place where we ate outside when we went to Rosie’s house last Saturday. Now step back so you don’t get hurt.”

“Why are you doing it?”

“Because I want to.” He wasn’t going to tell the kid he’d started the project because there wasn’t much left to do at the drive-in these days, and he had to keep himself from going crazy.

Just walking into that ticket booth last night had dragged him down. It was only his second weekend in business, and he already hated every minute of it. He could have killed some time with Ethan if his brother hadn’t taken off yesterday for a conference in Knoxville, and Cal was all wrapped up with his family, so Gabe had decided to keep himself busy by building this deck.