CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
Pete looked around. “Looks like someone is moving.”
He grinned. “Are you sure you don't mind taking care of all this?”
“Pete, the moving company will be here by nine o'clock on Sunday morning,” Annie said. “I'll count the boxes, they'll sign the manifest, and I'll sign it. Your belongings will be delivered to the lake house by noon tomorrow. How did you get the owners to agree to let you store your things before the closing?”
“The deal is going through, they had no problem with it. You also have the go-ahead to proceed with your decorating plans. The key is under the mat. I have a written consent form from the owners. I made it all a condition of the sale.”
“I'm going to miss you, Pete. Promise to call often. I really am going to worry about you driving out West. I wish you had a dog or something.”
“Look at me, I'm all grown up. I'm looking forward to driving the Rover over country roads. I might even do a little four-wheeling if the occasion arises. This is going to be good for me, Annie.”
“I know that, but I'm still going to worry.”
“I left my itinerary in the kitchen. I don't want you worrying about me, Annie. You have the number for the super, all the numbers I left for you in case anything goes wrong.”
“Look at me, Pete Sorenson. I'm a big girl. Did you pack your warm clothes? Even though it's mild for the first of October, it's going to be cold where you're going.”
“I can't believe it's October already,” Pete muttered. “Has your Halloween merchandise come in yet?”
“It's due today, as a matter of fact.”
“I like your theme idea a lot. With Halloween a few weeks away, I can see that you're going to be busy. I know a place in Jersey that has the biggest pumpkins, the best scarecrows, the best of everything for Halloween. When I was a kid, my mom and dad made a big production of taking me there to pick out the pumpkins and the outfit for the scarecrow. I think they enjoyed it more than I did. How about if I give you directions and you check it out over the weekend? Oh, I almost forgot, they have cider that is to die for.” Pete scribbled, drawing a crude map for Annie's benefit.
“I'll do it this weekend. The best part is, we can write it all off.”
“Atta girl, Annie, now you're thinking like a businesswoman. Okay, guess it's time for me to hit the road. I know I'm leaving everything in good hands.”
Pete drew Annie to him, hugged her tightly and then kissed her lightly on the cheek. “I owe you so much, Annie. I know I don't tell you often enough how much I appreciate you. I do. Someday I hope there's something I can do for you that will make things even for us.”
“This isn't a contest, Pete,” Annie murmured.
“Annie . . . if ...”
“I'll call you immediately if Maddie calls. Regardless of the time of day. Now get going. Make lots of money, because it's going to take buckets to decorate that house, and remember you want to buy a boat.”
“Scratch the cabin cruiser on the Sound. I'm not ready for that yet. But I'll get a big sailboat for the lake. You can sleep on it too.”
“Go already!” Annie shouted.
“I'm gone. I'll call every other day.”
Annie walked with Pete to the elevator. A lump the size of a walnut seemed to be stuck in her throat. Just as the door was about to close, Pete stuck his tongue out at her and wiggled his ears. She laughed as she made her way back to the apartment.
Inside the apartment she stared at the packed boxes. Pete's things. The colorful surfboard was leaning against the wall. Maybe she shouldn't send it with the movers, maybe she should take it up herself the next time she went to Darien. The surfboard was too important to Pete to leave it in the hands of an unknown person. She carried it back to her room. Pete's room.
Would she really be able to move her things into this room? Would she really be able to sleep in the same bed Pete made love to Maddie in? No, a thousand times no. She carried the surfboard to the guest room and leaned it up against the wall. She closed the door to Pete's room. It would always be Pete's room, Pete and Maddie's room. Nothing would ever change that.
Annie ate a sketchy breakfast, her thoughts far away. She knew in her heart she should run as far and as fast as she could. No matter how thoughtful she was, no matter what she did for Pete, no matter what she felt, Pete belonged to Maddie. All she was doing was postponing the moment when she would have to cut him out of her life. Later it was going to hurt more. She knew she was making Pete's life easier, taking responsibility for so many things. But at what cost to herself? She was thirty-four years old, and it was time to make a life for herself. A life that didn't include Pete Sorenson. She'd been doing that until Pete asked her to drop everything and help him. She'd even diddled with the idea of moving to California to put as much space between them as possible, and that way she could gradually wean herself away from the soul-wrenching phone calls, occasional visits that had become a ritual with her and Pete. Now she was more mired in his life than before. Who but a fool would offer to decorate a house another woman was going to share with the man she loved? Who but a fool would take over and run the other woman's business and put her own life on hold? Who but a fool would gladly give up her life back in Boston to move into a sublet of the man she loved, who in turn loved someone else?
Pete counted on her. Depended on her. And she fed on those dependencies like a fool.
If Pete was right, it would be two years, maybe three, before Maddie testified in court. If she stuck around that long, she would be thirty-six or thirty-seven, the best years of her life gone, at least the three years that really counted. She'd be almost past the child-bearing stage. She'd be gray-haired with bridges in her mouth, wearing bifocals and fighting a losing battle with flab when her kids went off to college. Providing, of course, there was a man out there who would want a woman who was in love with another man.
“And that, Annie Gabriel,” she said aloud, “makes you just about the biggest fool walking on the face of the earth.”
Annie choked back a sob as she dressed for another day of work that would make her rival richer for her efforts.
Don't think about that, Annie, you're doing this for Pete because you love him heart and soul
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At first, the days crawled by, and then they picked up speed and literally seemed to whiz by.
Annie eyed the calendar on her desk. Ten days until Christmas. The house in Darien was finished. She closed on it the day before Thanksgiving with Pete's power of attorney. Now that she had experienced, full-time help at the store, she had some time to herself. She used it to oversee the last minute decorating. This weekend the drapers were coming to hang the curtains, verticals, and shades in all the rooms. The carpeting and tile had been completed by the closing date, thanks to the owner's willingness, the bank's approval, and her own spare time to allow the renovations to be done. Pete's sizable down payment, of course, made all things possible. The furniture arrived the past weekend and everything was in place. This weekend she was going to put up a huge Christmas tree and decorate it, so when Pete arrived on Christmas Eve, the house would be fragrant, and hopefully, just what he wanted. Plus the grand surprise if it materialized.
She thought about the surprise, a smile of pure happiness on her face. Her present to Pete, which she'd planned months ago. In fact it had come to her the day she first met Simon Jakes. Find Barney Sims. Find him and bring him to Pete's house. His special Christmas present.
Just yesterday Jakes had called to report on his lack of progress. “It's like he dropped off the face of the earth. Every lead fizzles on me. I'm trying, Annie, I need you to believe that. If I don't find him for Christmas, then we'll concentrate on Easter. And if Easter doesn't work, we'll go with the Fourth of July and on through every holiday. I won't give up. I'm gonna find that guy. It's a challenge now. I think they changed their names, though not legally. That's what's making it so hard.”
The perfect present, and it might not materialize. It's the thought that counts, Annie, she told herself, and sighed mightily.
For days now she'd been praying for snow. Every night she watched the long-range forecast, the weatherman teasing her, saying yes and no. Whatever, it would be cold, and that was a plus. The past weekend she'd carried in firewood so it would be dry and ready to burn. As far as she could tell, she hadn't missed a thing. She was taking Friday off so she could get a head start on the grocery shopping, stocking Pete's freezer, cooking extra meals that could be frozen.
And what would Pete do? Why, Pete would hug her, his eyes would light up, and he'd say, “Annie, you are amazing!” He'd hug her again, her heart would swell and her eyes would mist over. All because she was a fool, and fools acted with their hearts instead of their brains. Now, if her special surprise came into being, well, Pete would just about die.
Somehow Annie managed to get through the days until Friday, when she rose at four-thirty and was on the road to Darien by five-thirty. She was antsy, impatient to get there so she could start on all the last minute details that would make Pete's homecoming special.
Pete was as good as his word, calling every other day. The first question he always asked as soon as he said hello was, “Any news?” Since leaving, all he'd said about the house was, “How's it going?” She hadn't told him how much time and effort she'd put into his house, and she wasn't sure why. The big surprise! The special pat on the back. The special smile that reached his eyes.
It was a beautiful day, crisp and cold, fireplace weather. Annie immediately set the thermostat to seventy degrees before she took off her shearling jacket. As she filled the coffeepot, she kept saying over and over, “This is going to be a wonderful day.” She believed her own words.
The perfect house, the perfect setting, the perfect holiday. But most of all, the perfect man. The absolutely end-all of surprises.
By noon the drapes, shades, and vertical blinds were installed. They matched the furniture perfectly. Annie clapped her hands in delight after she wrote out the check.
In town, before she shopped for groceries, she stopped in a quaint tearoom for lunch, which she gobbled, impatient to be on her way.
At two-thirty the new refrigerator and freezer were stocked to overflowing. She made fresh coffee while she worked on a menu list. At four o'clock she was in her Volvo heading out to the main road once again, in search of a Christmas-tree farm. It was dark when she picked out her tree and ready-made wreath for the front door. For five dollars extra the owner promised delivery of the tree by noon the following day. For ten dollars this man would set the tree up in the stand. She parted with thirty more dollars.
Everything was under control. The only thing she'd forgotten to do was carry in the Christmas decorations, specialty items she'd been picking up since Thanksgiving. She had wide red satin bows for the wreath and the mantel garland, unique Christmas balls, tiny strings of lights in the shape of stars, and the most glorious Christmas angel she'd ever seen, made especially for her by one of Maddie's suppliers.
Annie's mood darkened to match the night around her. Where was Maddie? What kind of Christmas was she going to have? Would she spend the holiday thinking about Pete? But more important, would Pete spend the holiday thinking about Maddie? If so, then all her work was for nothing. Instead of making Christmas special for Pete, she might be making him miserable. Damn, she couldn't do anything right.
Her mood shifted and she cried the whole evening as she prepared a tray of lasagna, made spaghetti, a pot roast, and fried chicken. When the food cooled, she portioned it out into trays that she wrapped and slid into the freezer. She went to bed with tears on her cheeks. Her pillow was damp when she woke, and she had a terrible headache she knew was going to turn into a migraine.
The tree arrived at mid-morning. It took the delivery man ten minutes to set it up and hang the wreath on the front door. It was huge, Annie thought, craning her neck to see the tip of the tree, and it was so fragrant she was transported momentarily back to her childhood, waking to see the magnificent tree in her parents' living room.
“Don't decorate it till tomorrow,” the man who brought it said. “The branches need time to fall, and they're still a little wet. Don't forget to add water. The stand holds a quart, but the tree will suck up the first quart real quick. I made a deep X in the trunk. The tree will stay fresh till the middle of January if you do that. Try and keep your thermostat set around sixty-eight. That's ideal. Beautiful house, ma'am.”
“Thank you.”
Her headache raged. There was nothing for her to do but lie down and pray it would go away. She went out to the kitchen, her head pounding with each step she took. She swallowed four aspirin with a glass of water before she made her way back to the brand-new sofa. She slept until noon the following day. She still had a headache, but it was bearable.
Annie decorated the tree, placed the angel on top, vacuumed the pine needles, set the timers for the tree lights, the foyer light, and the kitchen light to come on at four-thirty.
She was on I-95 heading back to the city by six o'clock. Pete's homecoming had been taken care of, right down to the three presents she'd placed under the tree, all done up in sparkly silver paper with huge red velvet bows. There was no way she could wrap her special, super-duper gift, if Jakes came through for her.
What was she going to do for Christmas? Who would she share the holiday with? She hadn't had time to make friends in New York, and all her old friends in Boston were married and usually spent the holidays with parents or in-laws.