Desperate Measures (32 page)

“Soon,” Pete said vaguely, his eyes wandering around the huge first floor of the house. “I like everything open, and the half walls. I like to be able to see outdoors.”

“You can go skating when the lake freezes in the winter,” Annie said.

“Okay, I'll buy it, and yes, you can decorate it. If, and this is a big if, you aren't bogged down with the store and your own life.”

She wanted to say, What life? But she didn't. “I can handle it.”

“Okay, we have a deal. I'll call the realtor tomorrow and get things moving.”

Annie moved off to make a second tour of the house. Pete stared into space. Would Maddie like this house? Would she be as excited as Annie was? Annie hadn't said one thing about who was to clean it, and she hadn't brought up the business of a maid or a housekeeper. He remembered Maddie's excitement about hiring help for the Stamford house. She'd liked it, but . . . He tried to remember what she'd said, if anything, about decorating the house. It was not a move-in-with-your-toothbrush kind of house.

He thought about Maddie then, the way he'd thought of her every day since returning from Hong Kong. She didn't need him anymore. He'd failed her in the worst possible way, and now she didn't need him. The only thing he should be concerned about, according to Jakes, was Maddie's safety. His face turned stubborn. “What the hell am I supposed to do in the meantime?” he snarled as he made his way out to the redwood deck. Keep busy, Leo said. As if that was the answer to life's problems. Maybe in a way it was, he thought glumly. His shoulders started to slump, and then straightened when he heard Annie move into the kitchen.

He moved to the little alcove off the kitchen. He felt like a spy as he watched her walk around. He could hear her murmuring to herself, but the words didn't carry to where he was standing. He watched as she moved to the window over the sink, watched as her hands marked off sections of the sill. She was measuring it for the little red pots she would someday have on her own windowsill. He felt his throat constrict when she turned and walked to the fireplace. She backed up, advanced, and positioned an invisible rocking chair and then a second rocking chair. He saw her sit down on the hearth and drop her head into her hands. His heart flopped in his chest. His feet itched to move. He wanted to run to her, to put his arms around her. Then his eyebrows shot up when she got up and twirled about the middle of the floor. He clamped his hand over his mouth when he heard her say tearfully, “If I can't have this, then I'm glad Pete's going to have it.” He did move then, and was standing in the living room when Annie scooted past him.

He looked around,
really
seeing the house. Annie was wrong. This wasn't a Maddie house at all. It was an Annie house.

Suddenly he wanted to bawl. He wished Barney was here so he could run to him and tell him of his discovery. He was buying an Annie house and not a Maddie house. What's it mean, Barney?

“I bet the stars are brighter up here at night,” Annie said a while later, as it was getting dark. “Bet the moon is brighter too. During the day I just know you'll see cotton-ball clouds and blue sky. When was the last time you saw blue sky, Pete?”

“You going to pin me down on that one?” Pete grumbled.

“Nah, let's eat, I'm starving.”

The tablecloth and napkins, compliments of the Range Rover people, were checkered green and white. Annie spread everything out on the dock. “Help yourself,” she said, reaching for a golden-fried chicken leg.

“Look, that's a fish. Did you see that, Pete? A fish jumped out of the water. You have fish. You can sit here on the dock and dangle your feet in the water and fish. God, how lucky can one person get? Trust me, Maddie is going to love this. Ooops, sorry I forgot.”

“Do you really think she'll like it, Annie?”

“Pete, what's not to like? It's perfect. It has everything.”

“It's pretty big.”

“That's true. You clean one room at a time. How dirty can two people make a place? I guess you can get a cleaning woman to come in one day a week to clean the kitchen and bathrooms and dust. It's no big deal. When you have something this pretty, you want to work to keep it that way.”

“Do I need a housekeeper or groundskeeper?”

“Jeez, Pete, I don't know. I think that's one of those if-you-don't-want-to-do-it, get-someone-else-to-do-it things. I have to pay attention to money. You don't.”

“You make me sound like Moneybags himself,” Pete said tartly.

“Well, aren't you?” Annie's voice sounded just as tart.

“Does that bother you?”

“No. I merely made a statement. Let's dangle our feet in the water. I used to wade in the creek in our town when I was a kid. We caught tadpoles by the dozen.

“You know, Pete,” Annie said, her feet in the water, “if you decide to buy this property, it will be, in a way, starting over. A temporary setback until Maddie gets back. Setback is probably the wrong word. I guess what I'm trying to say here, Pete, is these next months are going to be whatever you make of them. For you, this is a new start, because your options are limited right now. I'm babbling here. Did anything I say make sense?”

“Of course. I get on with my life, you get on with yours, and Maddie does what she has to do. We're just doing it in different locations.”

Annie laughed. “I knew you'd get it.” It was fully dark now. “It's a beautiful evening, isn't it?” Annie said. “I don't think I ever saw stars this bright, and it's almost a full moon. Have you ever wished on a star, Pete?”

“When I was a kid. Barney and I made a wish every evening. I wished for everything under the sun back then. Now, if I wanted to, I could buy each and every one of those wishes that dealt with material things. I used to hurt so bad, Annie. I cried more than six girls. Every goddamn day, after my parents died. I don't think I stopped until I was seventeen. I haven't cried since. Men aren't supposed to cry. Men aren't supposed to show weakness.”

“That's bullshit,” Annie snorted. “God wouldn't have given you tears if he didn't mean for you to use them. That's why He gave emotions to both men and women. He didn't say anything about holding tears and emotions in reserve. For what?”

Pete guffawed. “I knew I liked you for a reason,” he said, slapping her on the back. “You always make so damn much sense. I feel better already.”

“I'm glad, Pete,” Annie said, pulling on her socks. “Let's walk around the property one last time. Don't you love the sound of the crickets?”

“Is that what that sound is?” Pete said, tilting his head to the left to hear better.

“Yep, and they're all going to be yours. They're making love. They rub their legs together, that's what makes the sound.”

“Jesus, you know everything,” Pete said in awe.

“I wish.”

It was all so perfect, this wonderful outing. Pete was trying hard to be companionable, trying so hard to make things right between them, trying to restore their old friendship, which at best was fragile.

Pete reached for her hand. They walked together, swinging their hands like two young children as they made their way back to the house.

“What do you think about me getting a boat?”

“Don't expect me to go out in open water with you. I can barely swim.”

Pete grinned. “Actually, I was thinking more along the lines of us picnicking while tied up at the dock. I don't know starboard from aft. Front and back.”

Us. He'd said us. He'd said something else, but whatever it was, it didn't matter. Annie dropped his hand and ran, her sneakers slapping at the dewy grass until she was on the front walkway lined with bright yellow chrysanthemums. She was breathless when she dropped to the brick steps under the small overhang.

“Who lived here before, do you know?”

“The realtor said it was a middle-aged couple who were getting a divorce. The wife wants her share, so it has to be sold. Can't say I blame her. What's your feeling on prenuptial agreements, Annie?”

“Depends on who's doing the prenupting. In a way, it's an insult. The flip side of that is, why should one side have to share property and wealth that was earned prior to the marriage? My personal opinion is, it's a lousy way to start off a marriage. Getting a divorce is too damn easy. In our parents' day you stayed married and you worked at your problems. Couples today are too busy, so they part, squabble, we as attorneys make money, and they end up never speaking to one another. What's your feeling?” she asked cautiously.

“Pretty much the same as yours. We do think alike on so many things. Sometimes I find it scary.”

She didn't want to ask, wished she could bite her tongue so the words wouldn't come out, but they did. “Did you and Maddie have one, or were you thinking about it?”

“We talked about it. Maddie was the one who brought it up, but the truth is, I was thinking about it, but not clearly. I'm sure I wouldn't have gone ahead with it. Most of my money is locked up pretty tight. Trusts and all that. What bothers me the most is, you're talking about getting married, swearing to love one another into eternity, and then you have to be practical and think about what-if. What-ifs are a bitch. The kids have to be protected, if there are kids, that is. Maddie wasn't keen on the idea of having children.”

“You never told me that,” Annie said, her eyes wide. “I don't mean you
had
to tell me. But why not?” she finished lamely.

“Maddie is a career woman. Her own childhood wasn't all that happy. She wants . . . wanted guarantees, and no one can give you that. We agreed to think about it and talk about it down the road.”

“But the store . . . it doesn't make sense.”

“If you think about it, it does. Everything in the store is the best, top-of-the-line, one-of-a-kind. Outrageously expensive. Priced out of most people's reach. Things she only dreamed of having. In a cockeyed way, it makes sense. She knew it would work, and she was right. You're running the store, do you see a time in the future where a family might come into being? We talked about opening a chain of stores. She was so excited.”

“I think you're wrong, Pete. I'm sure Maddie would want to have children as soon as the business started paying for itself. If she didn't have a happy family life, she'd want one when she married. We all want to leave footprints behind. I know I do. You said the same thing to me many times. Flesh of my flesh, that kind of thing. You're thinking too much. We agreed not to talk about Maddie today, and it seems that's all we're doing. You're going to eat yourself alive if you don't reconcile all of this. For now. Just for now, Pete.”

“It's not easy, Annie. I had my whole life planned out, and now this. Of all the things that could possibly go wrong, this was . . . is the last thing that would have entered my mind.”

“Pete, can I ask you a question? It's okay if you don't want to answer it, but I think it's something you yourself need to give voice to.”

“Shoot.”

“If the people who run the program Maddie is in came to you and asked you if you wanted to join her, for however long it takes, would you go? Would you give up your life?”

“Jesus, Annie, don't you think I've been asking myself that for weeks now? The answer is, I don't know. That's what's bothering me. And you're absolutely right, it will eat me alive until I resolve it in my mind.”

“One day at a time, old friend,” Annie said, reaching for his hand. “Let's go find a motel or hotel and call it a day. What's on the agenda for tomorrow?”

“See the realtor, give a deposit, sign the contract, ride around the area, check the boat places if they're open on Sundays, eat, we could probably go swimming in that lake if we wanted to, eat some more, and then either head back to the city or stay through Monday. We can wing it.”

“I'm open to everything except the swimming part. I didn't bring a suit, and I can barely dog paddle. I can watch you, though. Today was nice, wasn't it?”

“Yes it was. Thanks for coming with me, Annie.”

“Hey, I had a nice time. You have no idea how lucky you are, Pete. I'm going to remind you every chance I get.”

“Pushy broad,” Pete said fondly.

Annie smiled. She was still smiling when Pete kissed her cheek as she fit her key into the lock of her motel room. “Sleep well,” she said.

“You too.”

“I'm going to be decorating your house in my dreams,” Annie gurgled. “Tomorrow I'll be able to tell you, over breakfast, what the color will be. Does Maddie have any favorite colors?”

Pete gaped at her. He should know the answer to that question. He thought about her apartment. There wasn't much in the way of color. Now that he thought about it, everything was more or less neutral, except the kitchen with its red accents. The Red Skelton clown picture was the only bright tone in the whole apartment. “She likes yellow sheets. And yellow blankets. There's red in the kitchen.”

“Okay, that's a start. You're a green and blue person, or has that changed?” Annie said seriously.

“I like red too.” He felt stupid, out of his depth with the pitying look on Annie's face, which she couldn't hide.

“I like red myself. Red is a good accent color. We can talk about this some other time. 'Night, Pete.”

“Good night, Annie,” Pete mumbled.

In his room as he prepared for bed, Pete thought about Annie's apartment back in Boston. It was in an old building on the second floor and very large. Two bedrooms, a large living room, with an L-shaped dining room with a big, sunny kitchen loaded with green plants in bright yellow pots. The kitchen table was oak and had huge claw feet. And it had to weigh at least three hundred pounds. How she'd ever gotten it up the steps, he'd never known. He should ask. The chairs weren't an exact match, but they did go well with the table. They had comfortable green-and-white checkered cushions on the seats. He remembered a bright red teakettle on the stove. The salt and pepper shakers were red and had handles. They matched the teakettle. Strange that he should remember that. Maddie didn't have a teakettle, and she had cardboard salt and pepper shakers from the supermarket.