Keeping the gun against my head, Cody spun around.
Flynn stood in the doorway.
Our eyes met for a second. His shone gold in the light from above the door, terrified yet determined. I had a sudden flashback to the moment he came up to me after the audition when we met
– how his presence filled the room like thunder in a dark sky and how his smile was like sunlight breaking through the clouds. A new strength filled me.
Flynn held up his hands. ‘I called the police,’ he said, his eyes on Cody. ‘They’ll be here any second. Let her go, Cody. You
have
to let her go.’
Cody said nothing, just pulled me back, further into the shadows at the very end of the garage. Flynn flicked on the overhead light, then followed us.
‘Get back!’ Cody warned.
‘No.’ Flynn walked towards us. ‘You’re a coward taking this out on River. She hasn’t done anything wrong.’
‘She ratted me out. Now Bentham won’t have anything to do with me.’
‘So find someone new to work for.’ Flynn stopped a metre in front of us, his eyes on the gun at my throat. ‘River saw you kill someone in that car park. You can’t expect
her to keep quiet about it. She doesn’t work like that.’
‘You
kept quiet.’
Flynn’s eyes flickered over my face. He was checking that I was okay. I gave him a brief, reassuring nod.
‘I kept quiet to keep River safe,’ Flynn said in a low voice. He turned to me. ‘That’s the real reason why I left that night, Riv. I meant what I said about you being
better off alone but there was more to it than that.’
I stared at his desperate face. ‘What d’you mean?’
‘Bentham came to our B & B,’ Flynn went on. ‘He’d tracked us through my phone. He did a deal with me. If I agreed to say nothing about what I knew about him to the
police, if I went back to work for him, then he would let you alone.’
I gasped. ‘I thought it was Leo you spoke to.’
Flynn frowned. ‘I did speak to Leo, but not then.’
I bit my lip. So Leo had been telling the truth – and Flynn had lied to protect me.
‘So what if Bentham did a deal with you,’ Cody snarled. ‘He left me hanging out to dry thanks to her evidence. That was
your
fault.’
‘Come on, Cody,’ Flynn pleaded. ‘Bentham just got the police to drop all the charges against you
.
’
‘So? That wasn’t for me, that was for him, because he knew I could dump him in it.’
‘So what? You’re free aren’t you?’ Flynn took a small step towards us. ‘But you won’t be free for long if you hurt River.’
He turned to me. ‘I’ve been checking in on you, making sure you were okay. I heard James was planning to come here and I followed you all down.’ He looked at me – his
eyes as intense as I’d ever seen him. ‘I won’t let Cody hurt you, I swear it.’
There was a long pause. My heart hammered in my chest. Then Cody shook his head. ‘She’s a bitch,’ he said. ‘She dies.’
‘No,’ Flynn insisted.
He took another step towards us. Cody cocked his gun. Flynn stopped.
I held my breath. Outside, a car engine sounded in the distance, its wheels turning slowly, scrunching over the gravel drive.
‘People are here,’ I said.
‘It’s the police,’ Flynn insisted.
Cody pressed his gun against my neck. ‘I’ve got nothing to lose then,’ he said.
‘No,’ I begged. ‘
Please.
They know the man at the service station was an accident but if you hurt me now it won’t be
.
’
‘You think the truth makes any difference?’ Cody sneered. ‘Say goodbye to—’
‘No.’ In a single lunge Flynn reached us. One fist punched at Cody’s belly, the other gripped my arm, tugging me away.
A second later I was free. Cody staggered back, still holding the gun.
I turned, took a step to the door.
‘Stop!’
I froze. Turned back. Cody’s arm was outstretched. His gun waved dangerously in his hand. Flynn pulled me behind him.
‘That’s enough, Cody,’ he demanded.
‘Then I’ll kill you too,’ Cody muttered.
‘No.’ I couldn’t let Flynn put himself in danger like that. My whole body shaking, I stepped sideways, so Flynn and I were now standing next to each other, opposite Cody.
Outside the sound of the car engine had stopped. The whole outside world faded to silence. A thin smile curled around Cody’s lips. He steadied his arm and took aim. The gun shook as he
pointed it at me.
I stared at Cody’s finger on the trigger, my whole life tumbling over inside my head. He was going to shoot. This was it.
A second later, a dark blur flashed in front of me as the shot rang out. Flynn stood suspended for a second between me and Cody, then, like a shadow, he crumpled and fell to the ground. Cody and
I stared at each other.
For a split second I thought Cody was going to shoot me too. Then footsteps sounded on the gravel outside, his face filled with horror and he rushed out of the garage.
I looked down, facing at last what I knew must have happened.
Flynn lay on the ground, his eyes shut, blood seeping from his chest.
I dropped to my knees, barely aware of the concrete floor slamming into them, cold and hard. I stared down at Flynn. His eyes flickered open.
‘Riv?’ he whispered.
‘I’m here.’ My breath caught in my throat.
Outside, voices were shouting.
A male voice, strong and steady, yelled that he was from the police. Cody shrieked that he had a gun. The first male voice told him to put the gun down.
Barely registering all this, I reached for Flynn’s hand.
‘It hurts,’ he said.
‘I know . . .’ I looked at his chest. The red was dark, spreading across his shirt. I peeled off my cardigan and pressed it against the wound. ‘Wait, I’ll get
help.’ I started to get up, but Flynn held on to my hand.
‘Don’t go, Riv.’ He looked me straight in the eye. ‘There isn’t time.’
‘The police are outside. They can—’
‘There isn’t time.’ Flynn moaned softly. ‘I can feel there isn’t.
Please,
Riv. I need you to listen.’
I sat forward, my heart in my mouth. I gripped his hand more tightly. ‘What? Tell me.’
‘Tell Siobhan and Caitlin I love them,’ he whispered. ‘Tell my mum . . .’ He stopped, tears filling his eyes. ‘Tell her I’m sorry and I love her too.
So
much.’
A terrible fear swelled inside me. ‘You can . . . you can tell them your—’
‘No.’ Flynn said. ‘I can feel it . . . there’s not enough time . . .
please
.’
I nodded. Outside on the gravel Cody was still shouting, threatening to shoot someone. I heard Emmi and Grace shrieking with terror. Someone – a man – was yelling at everyone to get
back.
I bent closer, my hair brushing over Flynn’s face. ‘It will be fine,’ I murmured, not knowing what I was saying. ‘It will all be okay.’
Flynn reached his free hand up to brush the hair off my face. He winced with pain and when he spoke, his voice was so faint I could barely hear it. ‘It was always you, Riv,’ he
whispered. ‘It will always be you.’
‘I love you so much.’ I gulped through the sob that rose inside me.
Flynn closed his eyes.
‘No.’ My lips trembled. ‘You’re not leaving me again.’
Flynn’s mouth half formed a smile. ‘I’ve never left,’ he said softly, his eyes still shut. ‘I’ve been watching over you whenever Bentham left me alone for
five minutes.’
‘You went back to him . . .’
‘Only to protect you, to keep you safe . . .’ Flynn’s eyes flickered open. ‘I was always coming back for you. I could never stay away.’
‘I don’t want you to stay away. I want you here with me. Forever. Married. Kids. Everything.’
‘Me too, more than anything,’ Flynn whispered. ‘Listen, Riv, there’s just one more thing.’
I bent closer. My lips were just over his.
‘Live your life,’ he breathed. ‘Promise me.’
I touched his lips. They were cold. ‘I promise.’
I drew back, gazing into his eyes, gold and green and so beautiful. ‘You’re everything to me,’ I whispered. ‘Everything.’
Flynn’s eyes softened, fixed on me. And then his hand loosened its grip. The world shrank to this moment and the love in his eyes and then the power faded from his face and his expression
grew blank and I knew he was gone.
I sat, gazing down at him, unable to believe it.
‘Flynn,’ I sobbed. I shook his arm. ‘Flynn,
please.’
It couldn’t be true.
I pressed my fingers against his neck, felt the inside of his wrist, laid my ear to his chest. There was no pulse. No heartbeat.
The tears dried in my eyes. He was dead.
Outside, Cody was still shouting, still threatening to kill someone.
I looked up, utterly numb.
Outside, a policeman yelled out that this was Cody’s final warning. If he didn’t put down his gun, the police would shoot.
I stroked Flynn’s hair, his face. It wasn’t possible. He couldn’t no longer exist. Our love was meant to be . . . we were supposed to defy the stars . . . to be together.
Forever.
I looked up. Right in my eyeline, on the shelf above Flynn’s head, sat the drill and the screwdrivers and the bits of wood I had noticed earlier. In the middle of the tools a Stanley knife
glinted in the light from the door. The blade was short but it looked sharp.
It was a sign.
He was gone. Nothing made sense except that I didn’t want to live without him.
I took the knife and held it over my wrist. One slice and blood would flow and I would die.
More shouting outside. A male voice was counting down from five, giving Cody a chance to lay down his gun. I could hear footsteps on the gravel, people being moved back. It was all background
noise. Inside my head there was just one voice, one chant, one call for me to take my own life and be with Flynn.
I hesitated, staring down at the Stanley knife. Except I had just promised Flynn to live. Images flashed in front of my eyes: Flynn laughing, Flynn walking towards me, hungry to kiss me,
Flynn’s eyes burning with anger and longing and love.
More shouts outside but I was no longer listening.
What about my family? There was Stone and Mum and poor Dad. I saw their faces, the misery my death would bring them.
And there was little Lily. The world was hard and she was going to need a big sister.
Flynn’s life had been taken from him. I could choose to keep mine.
And I should.
I had a life to live for. And I had promised Flynn I would live it.
My hand trembled as I put the knife back on the shelf.
And then a shot exploded into the night air outside. Emmi screamed out in fear. More shouts and screams. Grace was shrieking.
‘What about River?’ she was saying. ‘Is she okay? What about Leo?’
Why was she asking about Leo?
I wanted to get up and go to the door to see what was happening, but something held me here, where it was just me and Flynn. Just for a few more moments.
‘I’m fine.’ Leo was speaking now, his voice shaking. He wasn’t far away, just outside the door.
I could hear Emmi there too, and James. Their voices were tense and strained. Someone – a policeman, presumably – was stopping them from coming inside the garage.
Another man was speaking into a crackly radio: ‘We had to, Cody Walsh wasn’t fooling with that gun, sir,’ he was saying. ‘He would have shot the boy – er, first
name, Leo, that’s all I know right now. Yes, he would have shot to kill if we hadn’t taken him out first.’ There was a pause. ‘No, sir, we don’t know what’s
happened inside the garage.’
Grace was sobbing. I processed what I’d heard, feeling strangely numb; so Cody had held Leo hostage and the police had shot him dead.
But Leo and everyone else were okay.
That, at least, was good.
I felt for Flynn’s hand again. It was already cold. I stared down at him. All the power of his presence was gone. How was it possible that so much life, so much energy had just been wiped
out in a single second.
I lay down beside him on the floor and closed my eyes.
‘I’ll never love anyone as much as I love you,’ I whispered.
Time passed – maybe just a few seconds, maybe longer. Then footsteps sounded across the garage. A light shone right at me, a red glow behind my shut eyes.
‘Oh, Jesus.’ It was a man’s voice.
‘River!’ That was Leo.
‘River!’ Grace and Emmi were shouting out my name too.
Their voices rose, calling me to them. ‘
River!
’
It was time to start living.
I opened my eyes.
Flynn died fifteen years ago and I still think about him every day. I have kept my promise to him to live and have done my best to make it a good life.
Cody’s death that terrible night at least meant that I didn’t live in fear ever again. It was soon obvious that despite what Flynn had told me about Bentham, there was no way my
evidence would be anywhere near enough to prosecute him and after taking a statement, the police never approached me about him again. I still see his name occasionally and he still owns the Blue
Parrot but I have never been there again.
I spent the funeral and most of the year after Flynn’s death in a daze.
The funeral itself was awful, though, to be honest, it’s a blur now. Mostly I remember the sight of the coffin and Dad at my side and the dead look in Flynn’s mum’s eyes.
James, Grace and Emmi and a lot of our other friends were there. But Leo wasn’t. He had a bit of a breakdown after Cody held him hostage and his dad and Ros took him down to Devon to their
new place as soon as they could. I didn’t hear from him for a few months but since then we’ve been in touch on a regular basis. He’s fine now – a totally different person
from the shy, awkward boy I met all those years ago. He’s married – to a really nice girl he met at uni – and I’m godmother to the younger of their two sons.
Dad and Gemma had a second baby too. Daisy was born two years after Lily and, like her, has grown up at the commune. They’re teenagers now, and I still see them all the time. I love them
both very much, particularly Lily. Sometimes she reminds me of how I was when I met Flynn: wide-eyed and romantic, longing to fall in love and be loved in return.