Defect (28 page)

My heart drops to my feet.
Will?

As they talk, I learn the compound is now being completely being run by Will. Rena is his second-in-command and all of the previous officials having turned-tail and ventured to the capital city to be spared any violence at the hand of those they’d kept locked away for so many years.

Wilson says we’ll be admitted into the compound as long as we can agree to keep the peace and show them we’re working on their side. He instructs us to keep our hands off our weapons and we make the trek closer to the fence, coming into plain view to whoever might be watching.

As we approach the fence, a group of patrol guards appear and beckon us forward. There are at least a dozen of them and I scan their faces, wondering if I’ll see one of my old friends. Kane is standing in the center and my skin crawls when I
spot him. He grins a toothy smile and shakes his head slowly.

“Eve’s back. Send word to Will,” he says to the guy beside him. The young guard nods, and takes off in a jog for the compound.

Kane’s attention has turned all eyes on me. So many questions are unleashed in my mind. Has Will been expecting me? Will he be happy to see me? Will I be happy to see him, or will my heartbreak outweigh any chance at a happy reunion we might have had. But before I can even consider any of the this, Kane motions our group to the section of fence containing a padlocked gate and directs a guard to open it for us.

Being back inside the halls of the compound is completely surreal. It doesn’t seem quite so
big, or nearly as menacing knowing that all the officials are gone and that this time I know how to protect myself.  We’re led into a conference room that I’ve never been in before. It must have been used for official business – before this place became overrun. They offer us water and food. Most of the men, Kai included fill their bellies and their bags with food. I pick at a bagel, unable to stomach the idea of eating. I want to know where Will is, what his reaction was when he heard I was here. I want to know why he hasn’t shown up yet.

Kane returns over an hour later. Apparently Will is too busy to even make an appearance. The anticipation is killing me, but maybe this is better. I don’t know how I’d handle seeing him right now
, especially in front of a roomful of people. I’d probably break down sobbing and make a fool of myself.

Kane
leads us down a hallway where private dorm rooms branch off in every direction. “You can rest here.”

Kai takes my hand and leads me inside of one of the rooms. I can feel Kane watching us and my skin revolts at his inspection.

Once inside, Kai motions for me to take the bed. “Lie down. We should rest while we can.”

I know he’s right, and my body has been fighting the exhaustion, but knowing Will is so close makes it hard to relax. I don’t want to explain that to Kai though, so I just nod, slip off my shoes and
sit down on the bed. Kai sits on the floor, his back to the wall and knees drawn up to his chest. He doesn’t need to stay with me in the same room, but rather than put up a fight, I lie down, facing away from him and stare at the wall.

What if Will doesn’t even care to see me? What if everything I thought we shared was nothing more than a
military tactic designed to gain the upper hand. I was the capital’s most sought after possession, and Will undermined them by sending me away. Was I just a pawn in his games, or did he ever really feel something for me? Even if he doesn’t want to see me –he owes me an explanation.

I’m awoken later by a series of firm knocks against the door. When I roll over to face the door, I see that Kai has pulled it up just a few inches and is talking to someone.

“Now’s not a good time, she’s in bed,” I hear him say.

“Who the hell are you?” I hear the other voice ask.
Its Will. My heart jumps and I leap up, pushing my hair back from my face and crossing the room on shaky legs.

“Kai, it’s okay.” My hand on his arm pulls him away from the door. I stand facing Will, my bleary eyes fighting to focus. Seeing him again steals my breath
and my skin erupts in tingles. His jaw is tense, his eyes wavering between me and Kai in intense scrutiny.

“Eve?”
His voice is soft , nothing like the look on his face which is currently scaring the crap out of me.

“Will,” I say simply. I
refuse to break down at the sight of him. I will not throw myself into his arms, no matter how much I might want to. I stuff my hands into my pockets so I don’t reach for him, and I lock my knees together to remain upright.

His eyes go soft and he swallows down the lump in his throat, seemingly just as at a loss for words as I am. His gaze leaves me to glance down at my wrist. The last ti
me we were together, he cut me open – literally and figuratively. He owned me. And in this moment, I want to pretend that he doesn’t, but we both know he still does.

I’ve forgotten Kai is still beside me and he steps forward, placing a hand carefully on my shoulder. “Is this him?”

Will flinches at his words and his mouth presses into a stark line when Kai touches me.

Good. I want it to hurt. I want him to wonder who Kai is to me. “Yes,” I say simply. “This is him.”

“People think it is holding on that makes you stronger, but sometimes it's letting go.”

-
       
Unknown

The slip of paper Will pressed into my hand before leaving is quite literally burning a hole in my pocket. Out of respect for Kai, I wait until he leaves to go talk to Wilson before reading it. It’s just three lines, hastily written in a messy scrawl.

Let me explain. Meet me tonight. My room.

~Will

I pace the tiny room. Why should I go to him? Why didn’t he just explain things when he stopped by earlier? I hate how he’s making me wait, turning this into some awkward game. But what choice do I have? Of course I’m going to
go, of course I want to hear his explanation.

The only thing that doesn’t sit right is that he wants me to meet him in his private room. The two of us alone together might not be the best idea. I’m bound to either kiss him, or kill him – not sure which, but neither is a good idea.

Kai returns with dinner for us both and I eat in silence while he fills me in on Wilson’s plan. Apparently he and Will are in agreement that all the Defects should be released from their cells and together, we’ll march into the capital in an attempt to take over power. I should be paying attention, poking holes in the idea, plotting my own survival strategy, but all I can think about is my own poor shattered heart, and about how and when I might get to see my mother.

After we eat
, I make a bed on the floor and tell him to take the bed. He puts up a fight I insist until he gives in. I can’t have him sleeping on the floor if I plan to sneak out later. I don’t want to have to step around him and possibly wake him.

Thankfully, Kai falls asleep quickly, and I wait a little e
xtra time just to be sure he’s out, but when I hear his soft snores, I know it’s time to go. Now or never.

I tiptoe from the room and
like it was just yesterday, my body leads me to Will’s room. He could have moved into a bigger or better room with all the officials being gone, but apparently he didn’t. I knock softly at his door and a second later, I hear his footsteps pad across the room.

When the door opens, Will stands before me in his
camouflage cargo pants, white T-shirt and bare feet. My heart kicks into overdrive at the sight of him. He opens the door further, urging me to enter and I see that Rena’s inside.

Oh.
Because apparently we need a chaperone. Her gaze is curious as she looks me over. God, why are they both being so weird!

I stand beside the wall feeling odd and out of place. Why did he even ask me to come? They’re both looking at me like I don’t belong.

“We need your help,” Rena begins.

I roll my eyes. No hi, how are you? We’re happy you didn’t die. Just straight down to business. I clench my jaw, biting down hard to avoid screaming at them. “And why would I do that?”

Rena’s eyes narrow. “They would have killed you, Eve. Period. We saved you. We risked everything.”

Will holds up his hand stopping her. “Rena, you should go. Let me talk to her alone.”

Rena doesn’t say anything else, but she drops her eyes to the floor and stalks for the door. “Not everything has a happy ending,” she says, then disappears from the room.

I turn to Will, my eyes begging him for answers.
He takes his time, urging me to sit. I refuse. I need to remain standing. I need to grasp onto the tiny bit of control I have left.

Will shrugs and sits down on the bed
facing me. “I’m sorry about Rena.” He runs a hand through his hair. “I assume you’ve been briefed on the plan?” he asks.

I nod.

“And you’ll come with us?”

I nod again. If this is all we’re going to talk about, I’ll explode. I’m ready to run to him and beat my fists against his chest. Who is this cold, calculated man and what has he done with my Will? I pull in a breath and the words tumble from my lips before I can stop them. “D
id you ever even consider coming with me?”

He hesitates
, and it’s the longest ten seconds of my life. “I considered it,” he says finally.

“T
hat’s not good enough.”

Will sighs, squeezing his eyes closed. “I
had no other choice than to stay behind, Eve. It was more important than what I wanted, which was of course to follow you into the woods.” His eyes meet mine, and finally I see the real him. Longing and sorrow and just plain exhaustion are etched into his features. What has he been through for the past six months?

“Stephen?” I don’t know quite how to ask what became of his brother.

He nods. “He’s safe. Still at home with my parents. We were able to put a ban on all new mindscans just in time. I’ve checked on your mom periodically too. She’s doing well, Eve. She was happy I got you out of here.”

He’s checked on my mom? My knees buckle, and I slid to the floor, collapsing in a heap. Will comes toward me,
kneeling on the ground beside me. I see now that he was acting selflessly, staying behind for Stephen, for future generations, for all of us. How can I stay mad? I thought he was being selfish, or that perhaps never felt anything for me. I clasp my hands in front of me. “Why was Rena acting like that?”

He closes his eyes. “She’s changed, Eve. Don’t take it personal
ly. She’s been hurt and abandoned too many times by those she was close to. It’s easier for her to pretend to be all business. She missed you too, you know.”

I don’t respond, deciding it doesn’t really matter. Rena’s never been the warm and fuzzy type, but she always came through for me when it mattered. I suppose this is no different.

Will rubs absently at the back of his neck. “That guy you’re rooming with…”

“Kai,” I offer.

He nods. “Are you with him?” His expression is guarded, like he’s bracing for my answer. Part of me wants to make him suffer, but we’ve all suffered enough and my heart squeezes at the lost look in his eyes.

“No…I…” I don’t know how to explain my relationship with Kai. “He’s been
helping piece me back together,” I say.

Will flinches at the implication that I’m broken. “But he thinks there’s hope for more.”

I nod. “Yes.”

He meets my eyes, tipping my chin up and stroking my cheek with his thumb. “
Is there still hope for us?” he whispers.

I don’t answer, but apparently Will sees what he needs to in m
y expression, because he leans forward and presses his lips to mine. The pain and sadness of the past six months are driven from my heart in that one kiss, because in that one simple touch, I feel his love pulsing all around me. Will lifts me from the floor without breaking the kiss and places me in the center of his bed.

I want to ask him if he missed me, if he thought of me, but suddenly none of it matters. I know he did.
He kisses my lips, my jaw, my throat like a man possessed and I tug at his shirt, working my hands underneath to feel his bare skin, if only to prove to myself that this is real. Will’s heartbeat thumps erratically under my palm and I wrap my legs around his back, tugging him closer, refusing to let go.

***

I sneak back into my room just before first light.
My hair is an absolute mess, my cheeks are flushed and my knees are still shaky.

Kai is sitting up on the bed when I return. His blue eyes are full of sadness and it nearly crushes me. “You were with him, weren’t you?”

I merely nod. My hands attempt to smooth down my hair, and I can’t help but wonder if Will purposefully left me with bedroom hair for Kai to notice.

We don’t say anything else, Kai lies back down, and I take my spot on the floor. My lips still tingle from Will’s kisses, my heart
is still tripping over itself, but I make myself lie still and try to get some rest. I will need it for whatever comes next.