Dearest Series Boxed Set (76 page)

T
he diamond tennis
bracelet glimmers in the mid-morning sun. It’s beautiful. Delicate and sophisticated.

I can’t believe he bought this for me and didn’t even ask me to open it last night. We got so carried away, I hadn’t thought about it until I got up to get some coffee this morning.

Grabbing my cell to call him, I wait for his line to ring, only to hear that the line has been disconnected.

Ugh. Did he have to change his number again? I thought the prank porn had stopped, but maybe I’m wrong. How the hell is someone getting his number time and time again?

Maybe I can duck out of work early today and pop in to see him.

All day, I sit in the editing booth and finish up a follow-up to the porn segment I’ve been working on. My stories have been running for the last two months, but with the vote coming up next week, this is my last shot to make a difference. It’s been a challenge to track down people who are willing to talk, but I think what I have is compelling.

I’m fine-tuning some last-minute video of a porn star named Ella. She can’t be older than eighteen, and she already has several chart-topping videos.

Her small voice wavers when she talks. “This isn’t the life I wanted for myself, but at least I make enough to pay my way through college. I’m not doing drugs. I don’t drink.” She toys with a frayed edge of her faded tank top. “I don’t plan to do this forever, but I didn’t have many options when I was kicked out of my house last year.”

Ella’s gotten a GED, and she attends community college classes part-time.

“If this law gets passed, I’m afraid it’ll give the filmmakers a reason to not require everyone to get tested for STDs. It’ll push everything underground where it goes unregulated.” She shifts in her seat and her brown hair tumbles over her shoulder.

I ask her if she’ll stop participating in these films if the law is passed and the shoots get riskier.

“I don’t think I have a choice. I have bills to pay.” She blows out a frustrated breath. “This is all so ironic. Men hate wearing condoms, except the men on the city council want the guys in these films to wear condoms, which in turn means people won’t watch because they’re not turned on when they see the plastic.”

People can say what they want to about her, but I think she’s brave to be standing up for this cause. I hope when viewers watch the segment, they hear her story and don’t simply objectify her. Because this girl is so much more than a pretty face and a young body.

What you won’t hear in my piece is the fact she’s raising her little sister, a detail she doesn’t want made public in case social services take her away. But since their mother is a drug addict, Ella doesn’t know what else to do to keep her safe.

“She’s hot,” someone whispers in my ear.

I nearly fall out of my chair to find Brad behind me.

“Jesus.” My heart is racing. “You scared the crap out of me.”

He snickers. “Sorry, Maddie. I brought you something.” He hands me my favorite iced coffee from Dunkin’ Donuts.

“Tha… Thanks.” I give him a weak smile, too freaked out to put any effort into it.

He launches into his plans for the weekend even though I didn’t ask. He’s grinning and talking away.

“I’m glad to see you in such a good mood. You’ve looked kind of bummed out lately.”

He shrugs and leans against the cubicle wall, ignoring my need for personal space. I push back in my chair to create some room between us.

“Listen, I’d love to talk some more, Brad, but I’m on a really big deadline. If this goes well, I might have a shot at doing more primetime coverage, which is where all the serious news gets done. It sure as hell would beat doing bachelor contests.”

He shakes his head. “That has to be insulting to a woman like you. Between that and the football bullshit, it’s a wonder you have any time on your hands to do this.” He motions toward my screen. “But it’s probably also why your laptop has been crashing so hard lately.” He tsks, a strangely snide expression on his face. “Gotta lay off the hardcore porn sites, Maddie. They’re full of viruses. It took me an hour to fix your operating system this morning.”

“What?” My head rears back. “What are you talking about? What do you mean hardcore porn sites?”

“Sweetheart, your search history doesn’t lie.”

I feel my cheeks burn. But I will myself to stay calm. I’m a grown woman, and I’m just doing my job. “Then maybe you should check my history a little more carefully because everything I searched is relevant to my assignment. Ask Roger.”

“Maddie, hey, I’m sorry. Listen, I was just kidding.”

Ignoring him, I turn back to the editing booth and wait for him to leave. When the sound of his footsteps fade away, I take the drink he just brought me and toss it in the trash. Asshole.

My day gets worse when I walk into my tiny office to find my ex-boyfriend talking to Nicole.

“Hey, hot stuff. How are you?” Jacob asks, looking delighted to see me.

What the hell is going on this afternoon?

Nicole looks back and forth between the two of us. “
That’s
who you’ve been boning the last few months?”

“What?” Am I trapped in the Twilight Zone right now? “No, I am not
boning
Jacob.”

I take a closer look at my ex. He seems bigger, brawnier, but he’s starting to look like a caricature of himself with a big body and a little head. Well, two little heads.

“You’re seeing someone?” he asks, appearing hurt.

“Like you care. Seriously, who I see is none of your business.” I start to pack my bag. “What are you doing here?”

“Nicole had a few questions for me, so I thought I’d drop by and answer them in person.”

I turn back to them and roll my eyes. “Okay, Nicole, I know we’ve never been the best of friends, but off the record, I dated Jacob for about a year. We broke up in May when I found him in bed with another woman. Feel free to sleep with him. I am being a hundred percent honest when I say I really don’t give a shit if you do or not. However, you should know that if the asshole says you’re exclusive, he’s lying.”

He gets a pained look in his eyes, like he might actually be hurt by what I said, which pisses me off more. He has no right to be hurt.

Nicole starts laughing, and I grab my bag and stalk out of my office.

I’m so looking forward to seeing Daren, to washing off this horrible day, but when I get to his place, he’s not alone.

He’s sitting at the kitchen table with financial documents spread across from one side to the other. And Camille, Sheri’s friend, is sitting next to him, laughing. As I walk in, she grabs his arm and smiles up at him but addresses me.

“Hey, Maddie.” Her forehead wrinkles. “That’s your name, right?”

Ahh. The girl gloves come off early.
Bring it, bitch.

She leans toward Daren to grab a piece of paper, which is really just an excuse to press her boobs into his arm. He doesn’t even notice. Typical. Men can be so clueless sometimes.

“Hey, Maddie.” His eyes finally swing up to mine. “Camille is offering to do the investments for the homeless shelter pro bono. She’s also helping me out with some financial issues I need to clear up.”

I bet she is.

Camille looks between us like she’s confused why he’s explaining that to me. Inside, I'm screaming,
Because I'm his girlfriend!

Just then, Sheri walks down the hall from the bathroom. “Holy shit, Maddie! I haven’t seen you in ten years!” She rushes toward me and leaps up for a hug, nearly knocking me over.

She’s been in New York for the last several weeks to work on a new film with her dad.

“You’ll be happy to know your condo is still in one piece,” I joke. “What are you guys up to?” I look toward Camille, who has returned to basking in Daren’s attention.

Sheri shakes my arm like we’re twelve. “We’re about to head out for our book club, but she needed to pop by to see Daren first. You should join us out tonight.”

Not happening.

“I’d love to, but I have so much work to do. I just wanted to swing by and thank Daren for something, but I can see he’s busy. I’ll catch you guys later.”

I know Camille doesn't mean anything to Daren. Just because I don't trust her doesn't mean I don't trust him. But I'm so fucking tired of having to hide my relationship with Daren. I'm so fucking tired of denying that there's anything between us. Of women like Camille thinking it's okay to make the moves on Daren when I can't even enjoy an evening out with him.

Before anyone can respond, I’m gone, eager to take a hot bath, blast Nirvana, and drown my sorrows in something alcoholic.

When I get to my room, I turn off my ringer, strip out of my clothes and head for the tub where I ignore the world. Because right now, the world can kiss my ass.

I
swear to God
, I can’t do one thing right this week.

Get it together, asshole. This is football. This is the one thing you can do. Put up or shut up.

Gritting my teeth, I reach back to release the pass, but my throw goes wide, and Quentin shoots me the finger.

Coach has had enough and stalks toward me. “Son, I don’t know what crawled up your ass and died, but I need you to dislodge it and play like this means something.” He shakes his head. “Where’s the guy who played for me in preseason? I want him back. You’re playing hard, and you’re playing tough—and at the end of the day we’re winning—but something ain’t quite right here.” He turns his back to the rest of the guys and lowers his voice. “Is there anything you need to tell me? Did you get arrested last weekend or get a girl knocked up or something?”

I choke on my own spit. “No, sir.”

He gives me a curt nod. “Okay, then. That’s a relief.” His head tilts. “Girl problems?”

My shoulders slump, and like a fucking Buddhist Zen master, he says, “Ask not what she can do for you, but what you need to do for her.” With a stiff pat on the arm, he adds, “And then, once you’ve got that shit straight, have a little fun out here, okay? You’re depressing me.”

Once practice is over and I’m stuck in gridlock traffic, I give in and decide I need some advice. Glancing at the date on my dash, I realize I can’t call Jax because he’s traveling to a game. I know I could call Clementine, but I don’t want to be the douchebag who calls his ex-girlfriend when he needs help with another woman.

So that only leaves one other person, and I haven’t spoken to him in months.

“Daren, my God, it’s good to hear your voice.”

The guilt from not calling him in so long forms a knot in my throat.

“Hi, Dad.”

He sighs. It’s the sound of relief, and I know it’s because I’ve been calling him Mason for the last several years. But I was too hurt to call him my father.

“To what do I owe this wonderful call?”

Fuck, and he has to be nice about it. “I need your advice.”

The last time I called him for help, Clementine was all over the news. Yeah, it takes a major crisis to go there these days. I saw him more in college because my mother nagged me until I gave in, but I’ve had a hard time letting go of the anger. I know he didn’t mean to crush me, but he did, and no apology or amount of money can ease that pain. My guess is that huge Heisman banquet he threw for me was part of his apology, but he should know by now I don’t care about those kind of gifts. But lately, even Maddie has been encouraging me to see him.

My father laughs. “Is this about a woman?”

I roll my eyes. I swear he can read my mind. “Of course.”

He chuckles again. “Well, lay it on me. Your mom and I were about to have dinner, but I’m sure she won’t mind if I take it in the study so we can talk.”

If I weren’t starting to feel like I was losing Maddie, I’d never do this. But one thing is for sure. I can’t lose her. And Mason has stayed married to my mom all these years, even when she was raising someone else’s kid. I figure he must have really loved my mother to marry her after her fiancée took off. She never even heard from the asshole again.

I know. That’s who I should be angry with. My real father. But he died when I was in high school—my senior year, in fact—so I never had a chance to tell him to go to hell. That’s one of the things that made this whole thing worse. Finding out that I had a real father—right after he passed away.

Maddie’s right, though. I need to get over this shit with Mason. He’s always treated me well. I’m not sure why I’m still angry about this. I guess part of it ties into how finding out he wasn’t my real father had a chain reaction in my life that I’m only now recovering from. But I gotta own that shit too.

Shaking my head, I man up and tell him the short version of what’s happening with Maddie, minus the coma-inducing marathon sex.

He hums over the phone. “You gave her a diamond bracelet, and she’s barely spoken to you for the last week? Son, something about that equation doesn’t work for me.” He’s silent for a moment. “What happened the last time you saw her?”

Shit. That feels like a lifetime ago. “Okay, part of that problem was I had just changed my number, and I thought I had given her the new one. And we had our weekly interview yesterday, but she was all business.”

“Well, tell me what happened a week ago. It seems the drama started there, right?”

I nod even though he can’t see me. “I was working with this woman, a financial advisor, on some investments, and Maddie came over. She said hi and that she was heading home to work. And since then, she’s barely returned my calls or texts, which is unusual for her.”

There’s that chuckle again. “Son, what does this financial advisor look like?”

What? “I don’t know. Medium height. Blonde. Wears too much lipstick and her perfume makes me gag. Why?”

“Is she attractive?”

I pause to think about Camille. “I guess. I haven’t really thought about it. I’m not into blondes.”

“What does Maddie think of this woman?”

“She barely knows her. I think she met her one other time. Hell, I barely know Camille.”

“Ahh, you’re still so young. I remember being this clueless.”

“Seriously, you’re not helping here.”

He laughs. “Sorry, son. Okay, tell me what happened the first time she met Camille.”

I roll my shoulders, trying to ease the tightness in those muscles. “We were all at a restaurant. Maddie was there with her roommate Sheri and several of Sheri’s friends for this book club they have. Maddie invited me over.” I scratch my head, wondering how the hell this means anything. “I sat opposite Maddie and next to Camille because that was the only seat available, and I signed autographs for the girls.”

“And?”

And what?

I blow out a breath. “I looked up, and suddenly Maddie was gone. My buddy Quentin told me she left. So I tracked her down, and I guess you could say we’ve been together ever since.”

I’m still waiting for the punchline, waiting for all of this to make sense.

And then I remember the conversation Maddie had in the back hallway by the bathroom. I had asked her if she was jealous, and even though she denied it, I knew she was lying.

“Oh, God. She hates Camille, doesn’t she?”

“My guess is yes, she’s not her biggest fan.”

“And Camille was at my house when she came over the day after I gave her the bracelet. Maddie said she wanted to thank me for something, but she couldn’t say anything specific because no one is supposed to know we’re dating.”

“Sounds like you know what to do.”

I rub my forehead and try to finish driving home without getting in an accident. “What would that be, Dad? What would you do?”

“Grovel. It’s the only way to go. As long as you’re being honest with her, I’m sure everything will work out.”

My lips twist at the irony here. He’s telling me to be honest.

Long after we get off the phone, I’m still mulling over his words. It takes me a good hour to stop being pissed at him all over again. And then his advice to be honest sinks in.

I know I haven’t told Maddie everything, but the crazy shit is just getting crazier, and I don’t want to freak her out. But maybe she senses I’m not telling her the whole story.

I have nothing to hide. I haven’t done anything wrong, but I want to protect her, protect us. And I hope I haven’t done just the opposite.

But with the bachelor contest this weekend, I know I don’t have a lot of time to make this right. The last thing I want is to do this event with all of this awkwardness between us, so I head for her place resolved to tell her everything.

Except when I get to her door, no one is home.

And she doesn’t call me back.