Dearest Series Boxed Set (74 page)

I
’ve never broken
my training routine for a woman. Yet here I am in the middle of the night, contemplating how I can talk Maddie into having sex one more time before I leave for my game.

My eyes trail down her bare back as I listen to her soft breaths.

I’ve always gotten eight hours of sleep, always trained with the sole focus of the game, always pushed myself to live between the goal posts. But something’s changed. As much as I love the game, I love her more. So I sleep less, I daydream about her when I should be studying, and I plot out ways we can spend more time together. Yeah, I love Maddie.

Christ. That’s scary. You think you love someone—I thought I loved Clementine and I certainly cared for Veronica—but this, Maddie, she fucking makes my world go round.

Maybe I’m being a pussy. But I’ve lived in the spotlight for the last four years. Most women want that spotlight. But Maddie? She could give two shits about that kind of stuff. Her mind whirls with passion for the underdog, for injustice, for righting wrongs.

She shot a feature last week at the St. Martin’s Homeless Shelter, and it damn near brought tears to my eyes. Her boss wanted quick shit for promos, and she managed to shoot enough footage for a whole segment and got the go-ahead to do in-depth features for all of the charities.

Her soft sigh next to me makes my heart quicken.

It’s the third night in a row she’s slept over. For the last few weeks, I’ve only gotten her to stay two nights a week, so this feels momentous. I’m tempted to give her a key and tell her it’s so she doesn’t have to lug dinner over from her place. I can’t say it’s because I want her here all the time. That might freak her out.

She calls my name in the dark, and I pull her back to my chest and plant my thigh between her legs.

“What time is it?” she asks, her voice a sexy rasp.

“Too early. Go back to sleep, sweet thing.” Even though my cock wants to get up close and personal with her, the girl needs to sleep. She’s always running at high speed. I don’t want her to wear herself out.

Maddie lets out a sleepy moan. “Did you remember to pack your gray suit?”

“Yes, sweet thing. I packed it. And that awesome t-shirt someone just got me.”

She giggles. She got me a t-shirt that says,
Not just a pretty face
. I told her I’d take it to every away game as my good luck charm.

I kiss her neck. “Babe, I left my new number on the coffee table.”

“I can’t believe you had to change it again,” she grumbles into her pillow.

It’s the second time in two weeks. If I find the asshole who’s been signing me up for every porn and sexting site on the East Coast, I’m going to break his nut sack.

Maddie’s breathing evens out, and I’m starting to think she fell asleep when she says, “I’m sorry I can’t drop you off at the airport. Will you text me when you land?”

My chest tightens, and I inhale deeply, trying to memorize the scent of her hair. “Of course.”

Her arm reaches up and snakes around my neck. “How are you feeling about the game? Do you think you’re going to play?”

“Hmm. Not sure. Probably not, but I have to be ready in case.”

She massages my scalp, and I groan. “Wish I could be there,” she whispers. “Look out for Wilkinson. You know he’s a sneaky bastard. He sacked the Bears’ QB twice last weekend. I realize that was preseason, but still.”

I smile, knowing she’s been paying attention to the film I’ve been studying this week. This is what sets her apart from every other girl I’ve gone out with. She knows the game and is taking the time to learn it even better.

“Yes, ma’am.” My arm tightens around her waist. “Are you still planning to watch with Jax and Clem?”

“Yeah.” She’s quiet for a moment. “Is that okay? That I’m hanging out with your friends?”

“Fuck, yes, it’s okay. Why wouldn’t it be okay?”

She lets out a sleepy laugh, and it lightens the pressure I’m feeling about Sunday’s game. “I don’t know. I… I just didn’t know if it was too much.”

“Too much?”

“Yes, too much. As in too big a step for what we’re doing.”

My eyebrows raise, and I turn her onto her back and slide over her, fitting myself between her thighs. “And that would be? What are we doing?” I kiss along her jaw before I lean back and make her answer.

“Seeing each other? Sleeping together?” She threads her fingers through my hair. “I don’t know what you want to call
this
.”

“You mean dating?”

She blinks, staring back with those big blue eyes before a smile forms on her lips. “Is that what we’re doing, Daren?” Her arms tighten around my neck before she leans up to kiss me.

“I should hope so,” I mumble against her mouth. “Because if not, I sure as hell want to be dating the beautiful naked girl in my bed.” I kiss her again until her fingers tangle in my hair. "I'm sorry I woke you up."

"I'm not. I'll miss you."

My heart beats faster. "Get some rest. You have a long day ahead of you."

She sighs and nods reluctantly. I kiss her forehead before I get out of bed, relishing how much I love seeing her first thing in the morning. Which makes me realize how much I'd love to wake up to her every day.

“
M
addie
, calm down. It’ll be okay,” Clementine whispers as she places her hand on my knee to stop me from jiggling my whole leg.

“Sorry. You’re right.” I just want Daren to do well. He’s been studying plays and working out like a fiend, and I hope he shines today if he gets the chance.

We’re at Clem’s house, sprawled out on a giant sectional. Actually, it’s her boyfriend’s house. Clem moved in with Gavin this summer, and they look blissfully happy together. They’re sharing the house with her old roommate Jenna and Jenna’s boyfriend Ryan.

Laughter booms from the front hall, and a minute later Jax strolls in with his arm wrapped around his fiancée Dani.

“You guys are late,” Clementine says with her hands on her hips. “And you both look like your hair just got run through an electrical socket.”

Dani’s eyes widen as she flattens down her hair, and Jax laughs and hugs his sister. “Don’t give me shit. I just got in last night from Los Angeles. Can you blame me if I miss my Dandelion?”

Clem rolls her eyes and then gives him a reluctant smile. “Fine, loser, but I need you to go make the cheese dip. I love that recipe. I still can’t believe you came up with that all by yourself.”

Dani gasps and turns to Jax, who chuckles and says, “What? You made it for me, so now it’s my recipe.”

“Good thing you’re so cute, because you’re insufferable most of the time,” Dani says with a straight face, but Jax leans down to rub her nose with his, and she gets a hazy look in her eyes and sighs.

Gosh, they’re cute together.

It’s strange to be around all of Daren’s friends without him here, but they’re a fun group.

Gavin sits on the other side of Clem before he pulls her into his chest and kisses her on the forehead.

“Hey, cuteness,” she whispers to him.

“Hey, love bug,” he mumbles back.

They look so content together it makes my chest ache. I wonder if there will ever be a time when Daren and I can be out together in public. I hate that we have to sneak around. I hate that I was constantly looking over my shoulder during our date.

It’s a sick disease, this thing with Daren. He infiltrates my every thought, dances through my dreams at night, and fills my head with flights of fancy. Because when I allow myself to think about my future, I want one with him so badly my heart hurts with longing.

It’s been just over two months since he knocked me on my ass while I was out jogging, and honestly, I don’t think I’ve recovered.

After I swore up and down that I’d never date another pro athlete, here I am, wishing Daren could be here right now, missing him so much it’s hard to breathe.

And that’s when I finally admit it to myself. I’m in love with him.

A smile lifts my lips.

Falling for Daren has only made me realize that I didn’t know what love was before I met him. Because nothing in my life has prepared me to be consumed. To be devoured whole by this emotion. To feel disassembled and somehow reconnected in a bigger, fuller way.

“Whatcha smiling about over there, Maddie?” Jax asks as he strolls up. Before I can answer, he scoops Dani up off the couch and sits back down with her on his lap even though there’s plenty of space. So here I sit between two of the world’s cutest couples.

Jax kisses Dani before he returns his attention to me and waits for my answer.

“Just excited for Daren’s game. You’re going to think I’m ridiculous,” I say, “but I’m a little afraid for him to play and a little terrified for him not to.”

Jax grins. “Don’t worry about Daren. He’s got this covered. Trust me.” He motions toward me. “I see what Daren likes about you. You’re a big step up from his last girlfriend.” He curses under his breath. “Veronica was like that Fenway hot dog stand that looks like it might give you a good case of
E. coli
, and you’re like the fucking Chrysler Building at Christmas, all lit up with twinkly lights.”

My mouth drops open for a second, not sure how to respond to that statement. Did he just compare me to a building?

“Jax, lay off Maddie,” Clem says. “You got Daren’s text.” She shoots him a glare.

I look back and forth between the twins as they have a silent conversation.

“What… what did Daren say in this mysterious text?” I ask.

Jax tilts his head, but when I look back to Clem, she has a smile plastered on her face.

“What?” I sigh. “What, guys? Just tell me.”

Jax laughs with a wink to his sister. “Daren said to take it easy on his girlfriend or he’d have our asses.”

“Jesus, Jackson,” Clem huffs beside me. “Don’t you know how to be discreet?”

“What? You know they’re dating. Get over it.”

“Seriously, shut the fuck up. Are you trying to advertise this information to the whole neighborhood? Because if so, there are a few people in Allston who didn’t hear.”

I start to laugh, resigned that the cat is out of the bag with his friends, and reach for my beer. “You guys are all close, so I trust you won’t rat me out to my boss, but yeah, we’re trying to keep it on the down low.”

Jenna flounces in and jumps on Clem’s lap, making Clem groan underneath her weight. After slinging an arm around her friend and nudging Gavin over a bit, Jenna turns to me with a raised brow. “Do people still say ‘down low’?” Her Southern drawl is so charming, I’m pretty sure she could talk the devil into doing her favors.

“Probably not.” I chuckle to myself that I’m being this lame right now. “By the way, I’m supposed to give you all Daren’s new number.”

“I have his new number,” Jax mumbles as he takes a pull of his beer.

“The one he got two nights ago?”

“What the fuck? He changed it again?”

Nodding, I text it to Clem, and she forwards it to the rest of their friends. “He keeps getting tons of”—how do I say this?—“unsolicited material sent to his phone.”

“In other words, porn.” Jax shrugs. “Not sure why he needs to change his number for that.”

“If you received thirty sexts and fifty-two photos from random women in less than two days, it might get annoying.”

“Holy shit. Fifty-two?” He blows out a breath and stops to think a minute. “Were they hot?” Dani elbows him in the gut, and he laughs. “Just kidding, babe. You know you’re the only porn I need.”

Everyone lets out a collective groan before Clem reaches around me and smacks her brother on the back of his head. “Please do not say shit like that again.”

Dani and Jax laugh, and she drops her head on his shoulder as he nuzzles her hair.

“Speaking of sexts,” Jenna says, “I brought last week’s prize for our Out-Skank winner!”

“Jenna, you’re putting my legs to sleep. Get off.” Clem nudges her off her lap.

“I’m sorry, Out-Skank?” I make a face. “That sounds like an STD I need to avoid.”

Jenna gasps. “Oh, girl. We need to include you in our thread. Give me your number.”

Next thing I know, I’m getting dirty messages from the three girls for their weekly sexting game.

Jenna:
Care to douse my taco in your special sauce?

Dani:
I need to squeeze that beefy brat between my buns.

Clem:
Drizzle your icing on my pouty muffin.

Covering my mouth, I snort-laugh into my hand. “Okay, wow.” I look between the three girls. “I’ll play this with you, but you have to swear you’ll never show my messages to anyone.” Because I can already see the headline:
News Reporter Madeline McDermott Involved in a Sexting Scandal.

“Cross our hearts,” Jenna says, motioning across her body. Clem and Dani nod. The three of them are grinning from ear to ear like getting me to participate is some big feat.

Jenna holds her hands out. “This week, we’re doing a Disney theme. And the prize is something that’s eight inches of fun from my box of sin.”

Before I can ask any questions, their thumbs are in motion. Clementine mumbles, “Bring your A-game, Maddie. We play to win.”

Gavin pulls her back to his chest and says, “My girl can get a little competitive, Maddie. Just warning you.”

“Pshaw.” Clem gives him a quick peck and keeps texting. My phone buzzes with three pings a moment later.

Jenna:
Some day my prince will come, preferably on my tits.

Dani:
Beauty, have you met my Beast?

Clem:
Jump on my magic carpet. I’d like to give you a ride.

I tilt my head, chuckling, while I stare at my screen. “Have you guys ever thought about making an Out-Skank app? I bet it would be all the rage. Like some kind of drinking game.”

Dani snaps. “That’s an awesome idea!”

The announcer gets our attention when they wrap up the preview with a quick mention of the new QB for the Rebels, and they debate whether or not we can expect to see him play. Daren’s college stats flash on the screen next to his gorgeous face.

How does he get better-looking every time I see him?

Which reminds me of our interview three days ago. Because holy hotness, that man strutted out in full gear—those skin-tight white pants, football pads, and jersey, with his helmet tucked under his arm—and my ovaries damn near exploded.

“Aww, look at Maddie,” Jax says. “She’s in love.”

I turn to him, forcing myself to glare, because holy crap, am I that obvious?

His fiancée chides him, and he chuckles.

The front door opens again, and Jenna’s boyfriend Ryan strolls in, holds up a giant case of beer in one hand and a stack of pizza in the other, and yells, “Let the festivities begin!”

As he puts down the food, his eyes land on me, and he waves. We’ve never really met before, but I know he’s the lead singer of a popular local band. Sandy blond hair waves in his eyes, and he has that whole rocker vibe going on with black jeans and a faded Aerosmith t-shirt.

Ryan points to me and says, “You must be Daren’s girlfriend.”

My shoulders sag. Seriously, at this point, I’m pretty sure the postman in the next county over knows we’re dating, because Daren’s friends suck at keeping secrets.

Jenna runs up to Ryan and plants a wet kiss on his mouth. “Hi, cutie pie,” he mumbles against her lips.

She turns back to me and shakes her head. “I swear he’s the last person. No one else knows. Just us.” She motions around the room to the three couples.

I laugh in defeat. “Okay, that’s fine, but you really can’t tell people about us. I could lose my job. It’s a major conflict of interest. That’s why we can’t do anything together in public.”

Gavin clears his throat and smooths back a long strand of hair from Clementine’s face. “Maddie’s serious, guys. She’d get fired for this. You can’t tell anyone.”

He’s a journalist, so I’m sure that’s why he’s backing me up right now. But my stomach falls hearing someone else confirm my worst nightmare.

Clem must sense I want to hurl my breakfast because she nudges my shoulder. “You can trust us. I promise.”

“You really can’t go out together?” Dani asks, a concerned look on her face.

“No. We really can’t. I mean, he took me out last week, but it was all undercover and sneaky.”

“That’s so weird considering you interview him on TV every week. Those segments are great, by the way. I’ve learned so much about football. Like how to call a play and how you need to hold the ball.” She freezes in that iconic Heisman position, a serious expression in her eyes.

Jax chuckles. “You don’t need any help holding balls, babe.”

A wad of paper goes flying and hits him in the face. “Jackson, stop. I just threw up a little in my mouth.” Clementine makes a gagging sound, and everyone laughs.

The camera cuts to the crowd, and even though they’re playing in Atlanta, there are a number of Rebel fans dotting the stadium. Mostly women. Wearing Daren’s jersey. And here’s a random fact. His jersey set a record for sales, selling more this summer than any other professional athlete’s.

A shot of several women decked out in Rebel gear flashes on the TV. Their jerseys have been modified for maximum cleavage, and they’re bouncing up and down in unison, their boobs waving at the camera. They’re screaming for Daren, and one holds up a sign that says, “Marry me. We’d make cute babies.”

Hysterical. If it didn’t make my stomach turn in on itself, I’d be tempted to laugh.

But I try to focus on what’s important. Daren. The game. Wanting him to do well. Because those women don’t mean anything for our relationship, right?

Before I can head down that path of doubt, I close my eyes and take a deep breath. I told Daren I trusted him, and I have to believe he won't hurt me.