Dearest Series Boxed Set (2 page)

“You just need a worthy adversary.” He has that look in his eye. This guy never gets the message.

“No, and don’t go trying to set me up with one of your sorry-ass friends.”

“Clem?”

“Yeah?”

He cocks an eyebrow. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but are you a lesbian?” Before I can scoff, he raises his hands defensively. “Because it’s okay if you are. I won’t judge you, and seriously, that would be pretty hot.”

“Fuck off, Ryan.”

“I think you’d be less tense if you had sex, maybe just once.”

“Who says I haven’t?”

It always goes here. I catch Harper’s eye, and she makes a face. She knows how much I hate this.

“Clem can’t help that most men don’t meet her standards,” Jenna says as she clears away our paper plates.

“Thank you.” It’s not like I’ve never dated. I merely gave up trying to find someone who wasn’t a shithead. Or a cheater. Or a stalker. Yeah, guys suck.

Ryan frowns. “I’ve been with Jenna for a while, and you’ve never had a boyfriend in all of this time. That’s fucked up. All my friends are dying for a shot with you, and I like to think that pairing you off with someone is good for the gene pool.”

He’s ridiculous. There’s nothing special about my genes. I’m a little on the short side with long, blondish-brown hair and blue eyes. People say Jenna and I could pass for sisters, but where her hair is silky and smooth, mine is longer and wavier. If I wanted to look as good as Jenna does when she rolls out of bed, I’d have to spend half the day under a blow dryer. No thanks.

The biggest thing I have going for me is that I love running and rock climbing, so at least all of my parts will stay in place for a while.

Ryan points at me with a sly grin.

“The fact that you never date must mean you kind of hate men, right? Well, except for me.”

He makes a puppy-dog face, and Jenna coos at him.
Good lord.

“I don’t hate men. I hate
predictable
men.” I’m not sure what’s gotten into Ryan tonight. He knows better than to mess with me.

“You should come with a warning label, girl,” Ryan jokes. “Mishandling could result in injury or death.”

“Yeah, let’s start with yours,” I say as I mock-punch him in the stomach.

* * *

B
ay State Road
is lush with maple trees and ivy, the perfect setting for a postcard to send home. That’s if I sent postcards home.

Exactly one block from the heart of Boston University is our brownstone for the year. Although I’m exhausted and the street is crawling with students and double-parked with cars, standing here looking at our new place has me practically bouncing on my toes with excitement.

Harper, Jenna and I bound up the stairs and throw open the door to our new place.

“Let’s figure out where everyone goes.” Harper has her no-nonsense face on.

Our apartment, which is at the top of a four-story walk-up, has a little more space than the other suites in the building, but it’s still a glorified dorm.

In the front is a small common area, which is lined with two single-occupancy rooms and one double. I eye the bathroom. Four girls sharing one bathroom is never fun.

“Dani is rooming with me,” Jenna says, “so the double in the front is mine.”

She stays with Ryan most of the time anyway, so she doesn’t really need privacy.

I’m glad I’m not the one stuck with the new girl. That’s the drawback of living on campus. Even though it’s convenient, the lottery system doesn’t care that we wanted to live as a trio and randomly assigned us a suite that housed four students. We then could wait to get assigned some random person or scramble to find someone ourselves. Jenna swears we’ll love Dani, but I’m reserving judgment because you can never be too cautious. Especially in my position.

I try to live under the radar because the press would love to splash my family’s name across the tabloids. It’s happened with my twin brother Jackson a few times, but Jax relishes the limelight because it means he can get laid whenever he wants.

But I make it my mission to live a quiet life, even if it is a little boring at times. Because Lord knows I’ve seen enough drama.

Quiet is how I like it, so I used a pen name when I published my book—because there is no way I can lay claim to the fiasco that inspired that novel.

Harper looks to me, and I shrug. I’ve paid for a single, and although that’ll be a stretch for me financially, I can’t write while someone is watching
Glee
in the background.

“You can take whichever room you want. As long as I don’t have to live with Eva Richardson ever again,” I say as Harper laughs.

My freshman year roommate Eva, a snarky sorority girl, made my life hell, but she’s also the reason I ended up with Harper later that year.

Footsteps echo along the hardwood floors, and we turn to find Ryan groaning.

“Fuck. You girls couldn’t get a room on the first or second floor?” When he reaches the top of the stairs, he heaves the boxes to get a better grasp.

“Drinks and dinner are on us tomorrow night,” I say, grabbing the top box out of his hands. “Besides, this is the price you pay to date one of the most gorgeous girls on campus. You get to be our grunt on moving day. Man up, buddy.”

He sighs, then nods. “You’re right.”

Okay, so maybe
all
guys don’t suck.

T
he next day
I’m sore from moving, like I’ve been dropkicked by a medium-sized farm animal, which is why I’m not excited to go to work. I’m one of the assistant managers at the campus bookstore, a coveted position among students as it gets you discounts on books, clothes, and, most importantly, coffee. My store is three stories high, takes up half a city block, and has everything from a Barnes & Noble and Starbucks to dorm room essentials and apparel. Eager parents can outfit their kid’s crappy room, pay out the ass for textbooks, and top it off with a goofy coffee mug for grandma.

I love my job. Most days. It keeps my head busy, preventing me from crawling into a cave, which is always my go-to response when I’m stressed. But this is the busiest time of the year.

With school starting in a few days, I have to deal with the overflowing storage room, but I need the money because I’ll be damned if I’ll call my mother for help, so I caffeinate with a double latte, preparing myself for the work ahead of me.

Selling my book has gotten me pretty far, but attending one of the most expensive schools in the country, which is located in one of the most expensive cities in the country, has been tough financially. My mother pays for my brother’s tuition, but at least he’s down the road at Boston College, so I don’t have to see daily reminders of his preferred status in our family.

I type a quick text apologizing to Jenna for needing to skip out on Ryan’s show, and I promise to pitch in some cash to buy the guy a few drinks to thank him for moving us.

Jenna writes back:
I understand even though you’re a whore. Wish you were coming tonight! Wanted you to meet Murphy, the new guitarist. Very cute.

Laughing, I respond:
Stop trying to set me up!

Jenna:
Your vagina is going to close up, and you’ll need surgical assistance to use it again.

Me:
Don’t worry. I have insurance. And battery-operated accessories that don’t cheat on me or stalk me. Can’t beat that!

Okay, I don’t have insurance. Or a vibrator, and I feel a tad guilty for lying, but Jenna doesn’t totally get why I don’t like to date, and I don’t have the energy to have that conversation. Again.

Jenna:
Fine. I’ll let you off tonight on ONE condition.

Me:
?

Jenna:
I get full license to plan your bday next weekend. CARTE BLANCHE!

Me:
You drive a hard bargain. If I say no?

Jenna:
You have 10 minutes to get your ass here for the show.

Me:
You’re a slut. Fine. Bday it is.

Jenna:
Love you! Don’t work too late.

Shaking my head, I tuck my phone away and get down to business. When I finish dealing with the inventory, it’s after midnight. Kenmore Square is bustling with hordes of students headed to Lansdowne Street, which houses a dozen bars, but when I turn down Bay State Road, the block leading to my building is dark. Two street lamps are out, and I can’t help but quicken my pace until I reach my door.

I’m relieved to see Harper curled up on the couch talking on the phone when I walk in.

“Are you the only one here?” I ask as she hangs up.

“Yeah, Jenna went back home with Ryan because you know how they get after shows,” she says, rolling her eyes. “Dani went out to eat with her friends.”

Grabbing the corner of her blanket, I tuck myself in next to her, and we stare at the muted television. At some point, we’re going to have to deal with the boxes that are still stacked along the walls, but I’m too tired to consider it. Now that I’m sitting, my legs are numb, and exhaustion starts to spread through the rest of my limbs.

“How was tonight?” I ask.

“The band was great, but Kade the giant dickhead wouldn’t stop hitting on me.”

Kade is the band’s drummer. He’s the son of some politician, and he’s used to getting his way. Guys like him with money and power and no fear of society’s parameters are dangerous, something I’ve learned the hard way.

“That sucks.”

“I don’t care how scrumptious I look. The next time he puts his hands on my ass will be his last.”

Harper doesn’t have Jenna’s overt beauty, but she’s striking in her own way, and she’s one of the few people I know who’s comfortable in her own skin. Plus, she’s a psych major and doesn’t mind digging around in my brain until I stop with the crazy.

“That guy is such a douche. I don’t know why Ryan is friends with him.”

She straightens in her seat. “But the new guitarist is a sweetheart. And so cute!”

“That’s what I hear.” I haven’t met this guy yet, but he already has Harper’s attention. That says something. “You gonna dump your boy toy for him?”

“You know it!”

* * *

I
. Am
. Such. An. Idiot.

Reaching into my bag, I pull out my class list. I shoved it in there in May, and quickly forgot about it. I scan my classes: Greek & Roman Myth in Literature, Psychology, Romance Novel-Writing, and Applied Math.

I held off three years to do two things: take my one math requirement—because I’m mathematically challenged—and enroll in what I anticipated would be my favorite writing course, Young Adult Novel-Writing with Professor Golding. She was out on maternity leave last spring and isn’t teaching the course second semester, so this fall is the only chance I have to take it with her. I hoped the class could help me cultivate ideas to write my book.

My stomach plummets as I read the list again.

Being the genius that I am, I’m only now realizing I accidentally signed up for Romance Writing.

Visions of Professor Golding taking me under her wing quickly vanish. The odds of her class having room for one more student is about as good as finding a street in Boston that doesn’t have a pothole.

Young Adult Writing is taught by one other professor, and I placed a restraining order on him freshman year, so hell would have to freeze the fuck over before I’d consider taking another one of his classes.

I had all summer, all damn summer, to figure this out, but I didn’t think to look at my class list, other than a cursory glance, to make sure it was correct. I must have seen the “novel writing” part and thought I was set. Shit.

It takes staring at my registration sheet and the online catalogue of classes for ten unblinking minutes to realize that the course numbers for Young Adult and Romance Writing are nearly identical. But the Sunday night of Labor Day weekend is not the time to figure this out because there is nothing I can do until classes start.

Fuck!

By 10 a.m. on Tuesday, I’m in need of alcohol. Shots. Maybe tequila. I’m not a drinker, but the sight of students standing in a packed classroom trying to get into Golding’s YA course has me feeling defeated. I double-check her office hours and decide to see her after class and head off to Romance Writing.

I roll my eyes. I hate romance novels.

I’m so screwed.

* * *

I
’m ten minutes late
, but at least I make it. I scurry in, ducking as though that might make me invisible, and sink into one of the last open seats. The room is huge and almost overflowing, which is strange considering only creative writing majors should be in here.

Professor Marceaux is strolling the front of the class, clucking her tongue as she surveys us. Before I get a chance to look at the syllabus, she calls on a student who has her hand up.

“So what’s the difference between
Fifty Shades
of Grey
and romance?” a girl in the front row asks.

From the sudden chatter that erupts, I get the impression this is on everyone’s mind. Am I the only person who hasn’t read
Fifty Shades
?

Marceaux pauses mid-step. “Excellent question. First and foremost, Ana, the main character in
Fifty Shades
, is considering whether or not she wants to be Christian’s submissive, so the whole story revolves around this sexual conflict, which places it firmly within the erotica genre. Let’s also consider diction. In romance, we say making love or maybe having sex. For my taste, we won’t say
fucking
,” she says, making the whole class laugh as she wags her eyebrows.

Oh, Jesus
.
Do we have to talk about sex?
Can’t romance be about unrequited love and angsty looks? Maybe a little drunk fondling in the coat closet?

The professor has a thick French accent, and as she struts across the front of the room, she pushes her tortoise-shell frames up to the top of her head. She clucks again. “Along those lines, I wouldn’t write penis or clitoris. You will need to make up some fun euphemisms for those words.”

Students start muttering and a few girls giggle.

Why the hell do I need a fun euphemism for the word penis? I never plan to write that word. Ever.

I feel ill.

A guy sitting next to me nudges my elbow.

“I could help you out with that,” he whispers, smirking. “You know, with the euphemisms.”

“Go to hell, jackass.” It only takes a minute to pack my bag before I storm out of the room. The professor mumbles something as the door swings shut behind me and laughter erupts a second later.

When I get home, my head is pounding. In the late afternoon, when Jenna walks in, her eyes bug out when she sees me.

“Holy Christ, Clem, what was up with you in class today?”

“What class?” I pull one leg up underneath me and sink deeper into the bench seat by the bay window.

“Romance. You didn’t see me waving wildly to you from the other side of the room?” Her arms flail around as though I need a demonstration.

“Oh my God, are you taking that too?”

“Yeah! Why did you run out?”

“Are you kidding? I’m not taking a sex-writing class.”

She frowns. “That’s not what it is. You missed the rest of the professor’s explanation. She said in romance, the sex comes secondary to love. Sex might be part of it, but it’s really about the bigger story of growth.”

I drop my head into my hands and rub my throbbing temples.

“What happened to that Young Adult class you were dying to take?” she asks as she shuffles through the room.

Groaning, I close my eyes. “I made a mistake when I registered for classes last spring and accidentally selected Romance.”

“Bummer.” She pours a cup of coffee and settles next to me in the window nook.

I crack open my eyes and glance up at her. “Jenna, I’m not the kind of person who comes up with fun euphemisms for body parts. That’s just not me.”

“Well, maybe this is a sign, y’know, to try new things and be bold.”

It’s my turn to frown. Bitchy I can do, but I’m not sure about bold. The last time I did something truly bold was freshman year, and what resulted still scares the shit out of me.

Maybe that’s why I still can’t write.

Jenna elbows me, trying to coax a smile. “Cheer up. I’m cooking up something really fun for your birthday this weekend.”

“Fine. As long as it doesn’t involve euphemisms for the word penis, I’m game.”

Disappointment sags her face. “Well, that’s no fun.”

Maybe not, but it’s safe.