Deaf (Senses Series Book 2) (6 page)

Chapter 7

Logan

I scrub my face with my hands once more in an attempt to wash away the dread that has filled my entire body. This is not the right vibe for Fight Night. This is not the right vibe for anything.

“Still thinking about that argument with Maxx?” Luke cautiously asks. His foot is propped on the wall across from me, the same place it always is. The same place he always should be.

I don’t answer. My eyes shut as the back of my head hits the wall I’m leaning against in my seated position.

You know, I remember the last time an argument completely turned my world upside down. It was the night I lost both my parents. See, there was a field trip I needed to go on for school the next day, but Mom didn’t have the money on her. She wouldn’t until her paycheck came in. I told her not to worry about it, but she just…just insisted on asking the old man. She knew how much I wanted to go to the stupid aquarium. Don’t look at me like that. So what if I have an interest in underwater life? Have you seen some of the weird shit squids can do? Anyway, she asked, and the argument ignited like a lit match. There was something different this time though. He seemed to be burning hotter, and she seemed to be pushing harder. Sometimes when I look back I feel that they both just wanted to end their misery. I also look back and wonder if it was my fault? I mean, it was my action that forced her to talk to him. I was the root of the problem. I’m always the root of the fucking problem.

“Kellar, you’ve barely spoken since yesterday,” Luke says. His voice sounds as tired as I feel.

You’re damn right I’m fucking tired. I tossed and turned most of last night. Every time it felt like I was finally making progress to get some sleep, Maxx’s voice would start echoing in my brain. And if it wasn’t the fucking echo I swear I could still smell her scent from when she’d stormed past me. It was a mix of chocolate and strawberries.

“Do you know what you’re gonna do?”

I should walk away. I should tell Maxx that she’s right, and that we need to just be friends. That I’m sorry I screwed this all up to begin with. Oh stop fighting with me on this. You know I’m right. You’ve seen my temper. You saw what came over me any time I thought about the idea of Tony near her. That’s not love. That’s possession. She’s right. She’s always fucking right.

“Kellar,” Luke warns like he’s listening to what I’m concluding.

He can’t hear us can he?

“Don’t do it, Kellar,” he reemphasizes taking a couple steps forward. “Do not pussy out on this!”

Is it weird that he’s calling me a pussy when I watched him let his sister paint his toes last night?

Gnawing my tongue with teeth, I look back down at the same space on the ground I’ve been staring at like it’s an abyss.

I’m not being a pussy. I’m being smart. I’m letting Maxx go. I’m letting…I’m letting her find the happiness she deserves. I’m—

“Stop that,” Luke growls. “Stop that bullshit train of thought you’re hopping on right now.”

Seriously, can he hear us?

“This isn’t about what you think you do and do not deserve. This isn’t about some stupid curse you think hangs over your head. This is about you and your bullshit idea that you don’t think you can be good enough for Maxx. Well news flash Logan, you can’t.”

Did he really just say that?

“You’re never gonna be the prince charming douche you
think
she wants, which is good because that’s not
actually
what she wants. She wants you. She wants you just the way you are, stupid tattoo, video game obsessed, man slut.  All she’s ever wanted is you, and for you to
choose
her the way she’s always chosen you. She’s not asking you to change anything other than the tiny fact that she wants to know you give a shit about her the way she does about you. That she’s the only one, Kellar.”

“She’s always been the only one, Luke.” Those are the first words I’ve said to him today.

He’s right. I am a pussy.

The door swings open and Stuart walks in gripping his camera with a smile. That is until he takes one look at my face. Immediately it disappears.

“Bad time?”

“It’s always a bad time,” I grumble scratching the stubble that’s coming in on my face.

I know. Why ruin this beautiful face with facial hair? Because shaving was one more fucking thing that I couldn’t wrap my mind around doing. Be thankful I fucking showered.

Stuart shuts the door behind him. “You look like shit.”

My eyebrows furrow.

When the fuck did he grow a pair?

“What? You do.” His response causes Luke to chuckle to himself.

Yeah. He’s got it bad. I don’t give a shit what he says. You can see it too, right?

“Look.” He treads carefully now seeing that I haven’t made any effort to respond or laugh at his attempted humor. “I have to take at least one photo before the fight and then I’ll be out of your hair, all right?”

I nod before I lower my attention back down to the spot in front of me.

A single click goes off. I shut my eyes immediately after.

It’s not gonna get any better is it? One night without being beside her, and I’m strung out like some sort of crack addict. This is not fucking healthy. But I don’t do permanent. I can’t. I just…I can’t.

“Wanna talk about it?” Stuart offers.

I’m sorry, do I have please let me weep like an infant without a bottle to the world written on my forehead tonight?

I shake my head and Stuart nods in return. “I understand. Just thought maybe you could use an outside opinion. Sometimes it helps.”

“He’s not wrong, Kellar.” Luke immediately backs him.

Talk about ass kissing to impress your crush.

“I’m good.” is all I say, eyes still shut.

“He’s terrified of commitment,” Luke blurts out like some gossip whore.

Seriously?

My head shoots up, and my eyes throw daggers at him, although he doesn’t seem to notice as he adjusts his navy shirt while continuing to drool over Stuart.

“Who isn’t?” Stuart chuckles leaning against the back of the door. I let my eyes fall closed again.

Luke. Luke isn’t. And Maxx. Maxx isn’t. My Maxx…damn it.

Before Luke can retort, Stuarts says, “I mean, it’s human nature to be at least a little afraid of putting yourself in someone else’s hands like that. But what matters is what you want. If you’re just looking for fun, then have fun and get laid.”

I was. I
was
looking for fun. To get laid. To never get attached. And I was damn good at it. But now the only thing I can think about is doing just that. Attaching myself to Maxx. I don’t wanna lose her. Any part of her.

“If you’re looking for more…take the leap.”

Curious, I open my eyes and mutter, “How do I leap?”

“Well something tells me you’re not a wizard with words.” The sarcasm in his voice gets a giggle from Luke.

Ugh. Does he have to flirt during my misery? There’s a rule in the Dude Code about that kind of shit.

“So make a gesture.”

“I did that when I stopped fucking other girls,” I clarify.

That counts, right? That’s a pretty big statement for me.

“How about something a little more personal?” Stuart’s offer is followed by a quick glance in Luke’s direction.

Am I the third party here?

“I bought new sheets.”

In unison, like dogs who don’t understand what they just heard, they tilt their heads at me.

“No? That’s not personal?”

“Do I wanna know why you think buying new sheets is a sentimental act?”

“Cause his old ones would give the unclean hotel rooms on those undercover shows nightmares.” Luke’s answer gets a smile from Stuart.

I’m glad that my life is the merry fucking joke bringing them together. And for the record, I wash my sheets quite frequently. Well, frequently enough.

Annoyed now that Luke is more concerned about flirting with his crush than actually helping me, I say to Stuart, “What kind of gesture would you make for your boyfriend? What’s his name again? Robert?”

My reminder causes Luke to freeze back and retract inward.

Dick move. I know. I’m being an asshole. Help me, please?

“Well, considering the fact he’s my
ex
boyfriend now, a middle finger would be the most he’d get from me.” This new information causes Luke to slide his hands into the pockets of his khaki pants.

“Sorry to hear that you broke up,” he offers.

“No you’re not.” I shake my head putting him in the hot seat.

He scowls at me.

Yup. Being a dickhead. Again. I thought I asked for your help.

“However, if I were
you
, Kellar, the one who is known for his cock seeing more pussy than the backstage VIP section at a KISS concert, I would do something loud. And in front of a crowd. And fast…” he adds the last part wetting his lips as there’s a sharp knock on the door.

Erin’s face appears in the doorway. “Showtime.”

Fuck. Me.

“Alright.” I drag my body and prepare to march into the ring.

“Good luck,” Luke and Stuart call out in unison as I exit the room.

A little soon to be so coupley, isn’t it?

The moment my body enters the ring, the lead feeling I’ve been carrying around gets heavier at the sight of Maxx. She’s standing in a short jean skirt and a tied, red button up shirt, and her hair is hiding beneath a cowboy hat with curls at the ends.

Really? Are you fucking with me right now? I haven’t actually been laid in weeks. I haven’t been able to pound my fist into anything in the past twenty-four hours, and you’re gonna dress Maxx up like some Texas wet dream? How the fuck am I supposed to compete with that?

Screams and cheers get louder as she shimmies her boobs for the crowd to enjoy. I growl.

Those are meant for me.

My opponent, whose name is Hollywood, struts over to Maxx when she beckons him for her, now signature, kiss on the cheek. His green eyes meet mine and he wets his lips before placing them on her cheek.

I’m gonna knock his teeth in.

Seeing that it rattles me, he slides an arm around her waist and pulls her into him, giving her another kiss, creating an uproar from the crowd.

I’m gonna fucking kill him.

“And now….” the D.J. announces. “You can push him…you can pull him…you can bend him…but you can. Not. Break. Him. Ladies and gentleman, the one! The only! Unbreakable!”

My heart starts beating rapidly against my chest. Much in the same way that I imagine I’m gonna be beating my fist against Hollywood’s caramel mocha colored face in a minute. I flex my fingers, the fact that they are numb a direct reflection of how I’ve been feeling ever since I let Maxx walk up those stairs last night.

I should’ve gone after her then. I should’ve made some sort of effort to show her that she means the world to me. Please let the fact that I sound like a total chick right now slide, okay? I’ve never been in love before. I’ve never had to deal with these kinds of fucking emotions.

I give the fake smile on Maxx’s face another hard look. It hurts to even glance at. I approach her slowly as she points to the spot on her cheek that I’m expected to kiss. The moment I reach her my eyes fall into hers. They’re clouded with doubt. And sadness. And pain.

And fuck me if it’s not all my fucking fault.

Impatiently, she points again to the spot doing her best to remain calm, to keep her game face on for the overly zealous crowd.

Yeah? Well fuck them.

I slide one hand on her waist and the other around her neck pulling her lips against mine. She lets out a squeak of surprise, but it doesn’t stop me. I gently suck her bottom lip into my mouth hoping her body relaxes and lets me in. The second her lips part, my tongue darts inside and tastes her like it’s my first time all over again. Her body molds against mine and I grip her harder. Desperate to keep her. Desperate to have her. Our tongues tangle for a moment more while the crowd cheers behind us reminding me I still have a fight to win. And if I don’t take a long deep breath the world is gonna see what I’m packin’ in these black shorts.

Wouldn’t wanna make the whole world jealous now would we?

Reluctantly, I pull my lips away from hers but keep my gaze locked on her eyes. “I choose you, Maxx. I choose you.”

Chapter 8

Maxx

The moment my feet are outside of the ring, I slam my back against the wall in shock.

That happened, right? Like, I didn’t hallucinate that from lack of sugar or anything? I mean, I’ve had an unusual lack in the amount of sugar…well food, I’ve been consuming.

Quickly I hustle around the corner in time to see Logan’s fist dive into Hollywood’s face rendering him damn near unavailable to fight.

Well, as you can see, this is gonna be quick.

While my brain is anxious to try and process the fight I’m watching, what my body just witnessed, and what my ears just heard before the entire thing started, it has no time to do so thanks to my headset that’s going off in my pocket. Slightly annoyed that I can’t even wallow in the amazing thing that just happened, I slide my earpiece into my ear.

“Maxx!”

“Yeah,” I say back to Erin quickly handing my signs off to the new Ring Side Girl who is gonna take my place. Unfortunately for her, tonight she gets to play shadow aka my assistant.

“Frank wants to see you in his office. Now.”

“On it.”

I pull the piece out of my ear.

You don’t think he saw that kiss do you? You don’t think he’s gonna fire me for that, right? I mean, he does have that no fraternizing with the employees policy, but the man can barely write the word let alone know how to enforce it.

“Put those away and go find Erin,” I tell Monica as I head towards Frank’s office.

The moment I enter his office he plasters a shit eating grin on his face. “Ah. My prized possession.”

“We’ve talked about this.” I roll my eyes and shut the door. “I’m not an object. I’m a person.”

“A prized person.”

He wants something.

“What do you want, Frank?”

He slides a cigar in his mouth and lights it. “I wanna make you an offer.”

“There’s not enough money in the world to get me to sleep with you.” I walk over and place my hands on the back of the leather chair that’s across from his desk. “Again, we’ve talked about this.”

“Just like Erin.” He rolls his eyes and blows out smoke. “I wanna make you an offer about an event.”

Intrigued I raise my eyebrows. “I’m listening.”

“You know the tournament is coming up.”

“Sooner rather than later.”

“And almost everything is in place.”

“I’m aware that I’m good at what I do, Frank.”

“Are you aware that Jacob Anderson is coming into town?”

I shrug. “Who?”

“Jacob Anderson.” The repetition of his name does nothing for me.

See why I can’t talk to him? It’s like talking to a chimp who only understands basic English. I take that back. Don’t wanna offend the chimps. They deserve better than that.

Frank lets the cigar dangle from his lips in a way that reminds me of the old mobster movies. “Jacob Anderson is one of the most prestigious people in the industry. He’s one of the need to know names if you plan to last, and it just so happens he’s an old friend of mine.”

Does he want a sticker?

“He’s asked me to hold a mingling event for fighters, trainers, owners, agents, PR…the whole nine yards.”

“Uh-huh…”

“I’ve already made the invite list, sent them out and everything.”

“And now you want me to actually create and organize it?”

“Exactly.”

“And what do I get out of this added stress nightmare?”

“Aside from triple what you make here?”

Did you hear him say triple too?

“Jacob has some connections that are looking for an Events Coordinator to help with some future projects around the country. For lawyers, doctors, congressmen. All kinds of opportunities. Make this happen for me, and I’ll make that happen for you.”

“And you’re willing to just let me go like that?”

“Of course not.” He quickly shakes his head, ashing the cigar. “You would still work for me, but less face time. You’ve got a simple system you use that basically runs itself, so you would just continue to do what you’re doing without having to physically be here on Fight Night.” Frank slides the cigar back in his mouth. “So…do we have a deal?”

“I’ll start tomorrow.”

“You’ve got six weeks to pull this off, Maxx.”

Cockily I shrug and turn around to walk out of office. Before leaving, I toss one last remark over my shoulder. “I’ve done more with less.”

His chuckle is the last thing I hear before I shove my earpiece back in and shut the door.

First, my dream guy kisses me, now my dream job is offered to me? Gods of Fate, if this is some sort of trap to completely ruin my life, I’ll have you know it would’ve been easier to just offer me a cupcake.

I head towards the front of the bar where I know I’ll find Erin. This amazing news is just waiting to travel from my mouth to her ears.

And the kiss with Logan! I have to talk to her about the kiss with Logan!

The minute I’m in view of the bar, I smirk at the sight of C.J. in his cowboy hat, those jeans he bitched about, and a button up plaid shirt filling up shot glasses. In his best Texan accent he yells, “Can I get a yee-haw?”

“Yee-haw,” the group of giggling college aged slutty cowgirls reply before taking their shots and tossing them back.

Shaking my head I can’t help but smile.

“If only he didn’t look so damn good dressed like that.” Erin sighs tilting her head to the side.

When I open my mouth to respond, I quickly shut it as C.J. shoots Erin a wink.

“Clearly he knows,” she growls quickly annoyed. My eyes give her tiny jean shorts, her bright red bra that’s being covered by a jean vest, brown cowboy boots, and hair that’s braided with ribbons at the ends a good look. She looks pretty good herself. Erin licks her painted lips and shoots her head back at me. “But seriously, did you see how good his ass looks in those jeans?”

C.J. smiles widely again as he slides a beer mug across the bar.

“Even being smug like that he’s sexy.”

“You’re pretty sexy yourself, Babe,” his voice says in my ear through the headset.

Erin’s jaw hits the ground as a bright shade of red covers her face.

Huh. So that’s what it looks like when she blushes.

“Aw, don’t look so hurt, Babe.” His tone lowers. I look up to see his back to us as he reaches for a bottle of liquor. “I’m flattered to know the dirty thoughts about me that are going on in your head.”

Erin yanks the earpiece out. “I hate these things!”

“They were your idea!”

“And exactly whose side are you on?”

“Don’t yell at me because you forgot your mic was on.”

Shaking her head she scowls at me again, this time adjusting her shorts. “Stupid. So stupid.”

“Not that I’m  not relishing in the fact you are beating yourself up for making a mistake, which you rarely do, but have you seen Logan?”

“You mean the boy who shoved his tongue down your throat for the entire world to see?  No. I haven’t. But maybe Chuckles has.” She tilts her head at C.J. who is obviously pretending to flirt with a couple college girls for tips.

The cuter the guy, just like the shorter the skirt, the higher the tips. Hint: that’s why we all look like something from the porn version of the Dukes of Hazard.

“You’re gonna have to go over and ask him. Apparently he’s taken his earpiece out
and
turned off his mic,” she snaps.

Snatching her hand, I drag her with me ignoring her mouthy, profanity filled protests.

Pushing my way through the crowd, I lean over the bar. “C.J.!”

“Yeah.” He turns around tossing the bar rag on his shoulder.

“Have you seen Unbreakable?”

C.J. nods his head and I turn around to see Logan standing behind me, a crooked smirk on his face. “You looking for me?”

Holy shit. Just when I thought he couldn’t look any hotter I was mistaken. He’s pulled on a pair of black gym shorts over his fighting pair, a white t-shirt, and a black, backwards baseball cap. He literally looks like he just rolled out of bed. God, I wish he was rolling around in my bed.

“I uh…I…” The words get lost as I look over him again, his body ceases my ability to talk.

Is that happening to you too?

Logan leans forward, winds his hands in my hair, and plants his lips on top of mine

Oh. God.

Without even thinking about it, my lips part and Logan’s tongue greets mine as I let out a small sigh. It only pushes against mine once more before it slides out of my mouth leaving my panties wet and my body feeling empty.

I’m horny enough to let him push me against this bar and go to town. I don’t even care that we’d have an audience. Oh…that’s bad isn’t it?

Logan’s hand slides down my arm and his grin is playful. “Were you looking for me?”

Clearing my throat, trying to swim out of the fog of sex I’m drowning in, I nod. “I uh…was. Just wondering if you had left for the night yet. Usually you know, you fight, pick a chick, and bail.”

His eyes don’t leave mine. “The only chick I plan on leaving with is you.” When my mouth drops open but doesn’t make a sound he continues. “Any idea when you’re getting off?”

“Right now,” Erin speaks nudging me in the side.

Quickly I turn to face her. “But I—”

“It’s cool, Maxx. I’ve got this. Everything is running smoothly. You really aren’t needed for the night. Go ahead and take the rest off. You deserve it.”

I protest once more. “But Erin—”

“Maxx,” she cuts me off, squeezing my hand tightly. “Go home. Seriously.”

After a quick nod I turn to face Logan. “Apparently now.”

He pulls his car keys out of his pocket. “Mind if I drive you home?”

Public kisses and manners? Did I die and go to Bad Boy Heaven? Though I hardly believe Bad Boy Heaven is filled with the amount of nakedness running around my brain right now.

“Just…let me grab my bag.”

In what has to be record timing, I pull my bag from my locker, give myself a quick glance over in the mirror, patting down the hairs that got out of place, and meet Logan in the hallway where he is leaning against the wall waiting.

The two of us exit the bar around the back and slide into his car without another word. Once I’m buckled up, Logan takes off, the only sound in the car is the humming of his engine.

So….this kind of sucks? I mean, the tension is so dense in here you could use it to make diamonds, but at the same time it’s rolled in so much sexual desire, one move too quickly and I’m pretty sure I’d be coming on his leather seat.

I glance over to see Logan focused on the road with a blank expression on his face.

Is that regret? Oh God, is the commitment he just made without saying it finally hitting him? That kissing me in front of all those people was probably the equivalent of basically saying ‘Hey Let’s Go Steady’. Did I really just say that out loud? When was I born again? If I start talking about sharing milkshakes and going to the sock hop, slap me.

***

Logan pulls his car into the driveway and the two of us head towards the front door still in silence.

If he does regret this, this will be our last anything together. And if he doesn’t regret it, then this is our first time as a couple. Holy shit. We need to talk. We need to—

“Maxx,” his voice calls to me, which is when I realize I am still standing outside the house and he’s holding the door open. “You coming?”

“Right.”
Get your head in the game, Maxx!

Logan shuts the door behind me, and kicks off his shoes after locking it.

Words fly out of my mouth before I can stop them. “What do you mean you choose me, Logan?”

I watch as he stalks towards me, his Adam’s apple bobbing in his throat. The words come out of his mouth slowly. “I mean that I want you, Maxx. And only you.” He lets go of the breath he had been holding. “I mean—”

Those are the last two words he says before my arms fly around his neck and I bury my lips back with his. Fuck it. We can talk later. He said the words that matter most to me, and right now, all I want is to finally know what it’s like to be
his
.

I mean really be his. Legs over his shoulders and all.

Taking my unexpected assault well, Logan’s hands grip my ass tightly over my skirt. I moan. He groans.

Obviously it’s about to be a noisy night.

Our tongues tangle as his hands give my ass another squeeze, this time pouring drips of gasoline on the fire that’s been burning inside me for years. Somehow I manage to pull my lips away and nudge my nose against his while whispering, “Logan…”

“Yeah, Baby?” His voice is low and husky, my panties are so soaked it’s amazing they haven’t just slid off my legs.

“Take me to bed?”

“Fuck yeah.” He yanks me against him by the belt loops on my skirt and teases my lips once more. When I give him a small nip he groans and grips me tighter. Before I know it, the two of us are stumbling into Logan’s room, which is when I realize this is the first time I’ve ever really been in here.

Most of the time we’ve lived together he’s hibernated in my room and just slept in his. I’ve been welcomed inside his for brief moments, but never like this. And I’ve never been invited into his bed.

I stare up at him as he stands while I lean back onto my palms on his queen sized bed. I watch him as he watches me. His eyes are burning with that barbaric glow. The predatory look is clear as a fucking bell.

Not to mention his cock is pointed directly at me.

A bit nervous about the way his eyes haven’t left me or my body, I whisper out, “What? What are you staring at?”

“The woman that’s gonna make come in record timing.”

Well that’s a helluva an answer isn’t it?

“Maximus.” His approach is slow once again, and I can tell he’s restraining himself. The way his fists are clutched at his sides and his breathing has become rigid I know I’ve entered new territory. There are only two reasons Logan gets like this, a fight and sex.

And thank you Lord, it’s about to be sex.

“Yeah?”

A knee slides between my legs as he begins to lower me backwards. “I need to go slow…” His voice trails off as his lips glide down to give my neck a long stroke with his tongue. I moan softly in response. “But I can’t.” His tongue swipes a piece of skin near my collar bone and my body arches towards him. “See.” His tongue continues traveling down towards my breasts that are aching for his touch. “I need.” My eyes urge for me to close them as I strain to watch Logan’s tongue travel back up the other side of my neck, swirls and nibbles scattering its path. “To be inside you.” The words are in my ear. “Now.”

My eyes meet his and I watch his tongue moisten his own lips.

This feels like sexual suicide to give myself over with no prelude, but if I die, don’t you dare try to save me.

“I’m all yours…”

The words cause a deep exhale from Logan before his lips cover mine, hastily urging me up the bed. In a whirlwind of kisses, which have an abundance of tongue, we make our way towards the headboard and eventually reach it with a heavy thud.

“Sorry,” he grumbles realizing just how hard my head hit.

As my hands rashly paw at his shirt, I grumble back, “Don’t be.”

Logan groans and rips his own shirt off over his head exposing the muscles that, after this first round, I plan on taking my time exploring with my hands and mouth. One hand cradles my body against his while the other unties my shirt proving how coordinated he really is in bed.