“What’s so safe about the closet?” Carter asked. “Doesn’t she have a closet too?”
“Mine is made specifically for…for keeping my kind from detecting…well they can’t smell anything that’s in the closet once it’s sealed.” Oliver seemed to be a little off his game and that alone was a bit alarming.
“If it’s safe to go back, why is the closet necessary?” I asked.
“It’s always good to have an emergency plan, right?”
“What good did that do us last time?”
He was at a loss. With a heavy sigh he slouched where he sat. Carter’s eyes shot from mine to Oliver with concern. He began asking Oliver questions about the closet and its security features and whether or not his closet was a safe spot too, and it turned out it was. Then they trailed off onto other town related safety topics.
Once I’d finished my pathetic excuse of a breakfast, I started for the stairs but paused at the bottom step. “Oliver,” I called. I heard the chair scoot across the kitchen floor and he was behind me a moment later. Without looking at him I stretched my hand out and he slipped his fingers between mine. We ascended the stairs in silence and it wasn’t until my bedroom door was closed behind us that we spoke. We were seated on the edge of my childhood bed when I asked, “What’s going on with you?”
He sighed again. “I don’t know…” He had his hands in his pockets and was staring down at his feet. “I, uh, I don’t like that you were here alone with him.” He said
him
like it tasted bad.
I gently turned his face towards mine. “You have nothing to worry about,” I said softly.
His green eyes held mine and then he pulled out of my grip. He stood and began to pace in front of me, keeping his eyes down on the floor.
“You smelled like him. Like
he’d
been all over you.” His eyes met mine for a brief moment.
“I don’t understand what’s going on here. You have nothing to worry about. There’s nothing between me and Carter. Never has been or will be.”
He stopped and his stare bore into me. “You sure about that?”
I shrank back, but only a tiny bit, and nodded.
He paced again. “I could smell him on your bed.”
Oh shit. I don’t think I’d ever thought faster than I did in that moment. “On it, not in it.”
He stopped. Those emerald greens searching my face. He relaxed a little. “You were hurt and I wasn’t here. You came here without waiting for me. I couldn’t focus all day for fear something would happen to you. For fear I couldn’t protect you.” He settled down beside me and brushed my hair behind an ear.
My heart rate had already picked up but not for this reason. The way he looked at me in that moment was not in fear for my safety or in a jealous way. This was a look I hadn’t seen in so long. I leaned forward and pressed my lips against his. I felt all those familiar feelings bubble up from where they’d been hidden. They felt good. They made my body tingle and the pain in my heart fade a little. I kissed him again and as I did so, his hand slid up my neck and into my hair.
Last night had only been a teaser.
We both needed this. I needed him. I pressed him back onto the bed without taking my lips off of his. His hands slipped up the back of my top as I reached for the button of his jeans. His hands stopped as his button came loose and he was suddenly pushing me away from him.
“What?” I snapped.
“We can’t do this.”
“Why not?” My voice was louder than it probably should’ve have been.
He bounced off the bed. Right out from under me. “No, we can’t. You’re…No, we just can’t.”
I was not having this stupid-ass fight again. I flung my door open and stomped across the hall to the bathroom. Slamming that door behind me. I felt like screaming. Something wasn’t right with him. Hell, something wasn’t right with me, or any of us. We were all broken in some way or another and nothing would ever be the same…
Chapter 33 - Going Home
I screamed into a towel and cried in the shower. I felt so angry and it was all being focused towards Oliver. He seemed like a prime target. He was being weird and vague and all I wanted, all I needed was to be loved by him. To really be loved by him. To know that he was mine and only mine and I his. To know that he wouldn’t leave me…
Once I had fully composed myself I left the bathroom and gathered my things so we could leave. I caught Carter leaving my aunt’s room. “What are you doing?” I asked.
He had that deer-in-the-headlights look and his Super Mario backpack slung over his shoulder. “I was just uh…I was just making sure that room was secure. You know, making sure the door would stay shut. I moved the bookcase in front of it.” I frowned at him. I wasn’t really buying it and he knew it. “Don’t worry about it Laney,” he said with a smile and rubbed my arm as he passed me to head down the stairs.
I watched him go, then took a step towards Lilly’s room but stopped myself. I didn’t need to torture myself any more right then. It would hurt less in time. I tried to reassure myself of that. I was having a hard time buying it.
I found Oliver sitting on the top step of the porch when I was locking the front door behind me. He rose to take my bags and took them to his car and tossed them in the back. He opened the passenger door for me and I sighed as I crossed the yard to his car.
With his glasses in place, he smiled at me as I got to the open door. “I’m gonna ride back with Carter.” I watched his expression change in an instant and his body tense. He slammed the car door and walked right past me to the driver’s side. He got in and slammed that door too. I took a couple steps back as he backed out of the drive and onto the road. Without even looking back he sped off, kicking up gravel behind him.
Carter was waiting in Isaac’s truck when I slid into the passenger seat.
“You think that was wise?” he said.
“I-I don’t know…probably not.” I leaned my head back and sighed. I’m sure it wasn’t and I had no idea what possessed me to do it. Maybe it was the sting of rejection from earlier. Maybe I wanted him to feel it too. Or maybe, just maybe, a piece of me felt this was all his fault. But it wasn’t and I knew that. I just needed someone to blame it on. But I didn’t want it to be him. I really didn’t want it to be him…
Isaac’s truck made its usual clunk, clunk noise as we turned it off in Julz’s driveway. Oliver’s car was already there. The garage door was open and Isaac was happily working on his old blue car with his radio playing softly in the background.
“Hey guys,” he said as he caught sight of us and his truck in the drive. “How’d she work out for ya?”
I listened to the two of them chat for a few minutes and then I started for the front door.
“Hey Laney,” Isaac called.
“Yeah?”
“Just a warning. He’s in a bad mood.”
“Um, thanks…” Great.
The house seemed deserted as I entered it. No lights on, no windows open. Dark and quiet. Except for the rustling and quiet banging coming from down the hall.
I entered Oliver’s room with caution. He had our bags set out on the bed and he was jamming clothes into them.
“Can I help?”
He shot me a look over his shoulder. And it wasn’t a nice one. I felt myself flinch. He continued packing our things without a word, including throwing what snacks I had left into my bag. I crossed the room and was going to rearrange my bags so they might be able to zip but as I reached for them he caught my wrist. “I’ve got it,” he growled and let go of me.
I felt my brow furrow. “What’s your problem?” Was I kidding? I knew exactly what his problem was.
He turned on me. “Are you joking? You know what my problem is,” he snapped. Told ya. “We had just talked about how I felt about you being alone with
him
and then you go with
him
instead of me!” He let out a very frustrated growl at the end of his rant.
Lola padded into the room then and shoved her big wet nose into my palm. Hayden soon followed. “Lovers troubles?” she asked.
I shot her a dirty look then. It was the type of comment her mom would make, but she wasn’t there long. Oliver growled again and she high-tailed it out of there.
He shoved the bags to the back of the bed and dropped down onto it. “You’re a whole big ball of mixed emotions right now and its messing with mine.” He rested his elbows on his knees as I just stood there staring down at him.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered.
He looked up at me, his eyes full of frustration and pain. Then he looked down at his hands and shook his head. “No, I’m the one who should be apologizing.” That seemed too easy…He stood and wrapped me in his arms. I felt my entire body melt against his.
We said goodbye to Hayden and Isaac and I gave Lola as much love as possible before sadly telling her goodbye. Her big golden-amber eyes watched as the three of us climbed into Oliver’s SUV and drove away. It felt like another piece of me was being torn out as we drove away from her. She had been a constant comfort since my aunt had passed. Now what would I do?
I had pictured a desolate town but that wasn’t the case at all. As we drove along the busy streets it was like nothing had changed. All seemed exactly the same. I had pictured ravaged buildings and bodies strewn about. I had expected it to be deserted. Not this. Not normal. Not people happily walking their dogs and pushing strollers. Not stores open and people shopping and eating out, and definitely not college students playing ball in the open grass area in front of our apartment building.
We pulled into the parking lot of our apartment complex and Oliver pulled into the spot beside my car. It was in its usual space and I ran my hand along its side as I headed for the stairs.
Freedom.
My car would give me freedom again. I wouldn’t have to be anyone’s passenger anymore. I could go where I pleased when I pleased. I hadn’t realized how trapped I had felt, like a prisoner…Okay, that thought didn’t help with my anger. I tried to convince myself that Oliver had only been trying to protect me. Not keep me. He was right. I was a big ball of emotions. Now I was mad at myself again.
I followed Oliver with Carter trailing behind me. At the top of the steps we passed by my apartment and down the walkway to theirs. I wanted to go sleep in my own bed in my own room. I wanted to be alone. To maybe make sense of this mess of feelings I had bouncing around inside me. But I wouldn’t be getting that and it only added to the frustration I was already feeling.
Their apartment appeared unchanged and I wondered if the case was the same for mine.
I went to sleep, alone in Oliver’s bed, early that night. It had been a long day. Hell, it had been a long month. I cuddled in my fleece with my back to my vampire boyfriend, who was busy doing something on his computer at his desk.
Chapter 34 - Kiera’s Return
It was Sunday and the college was scheduled to reopen the following morning. And since I hadn’t logged in for some time to check any of my assignments, I planned for me and my laptop to spend quite a bit of time together that day. To my surprise, I found there was very little that needed to be done and I was relieved.
Oliver was sitting beside me on his couch with his own computer on his lap and Carter was at the kitchen table working on his assignments when there was a light knock at the door. We all stared at it for a moment. Like we were afraid to find out what was on the other side. Another knock and Oliver went to answer it. It was Kiera and I actually had to stifle a laugh at the thought that we’d been struck a bit frightened by her itty bitty knock.
She smiled up at Oliver. “Is Carter here?” Oliver stepped aside so she was able to see Carter sitting at the table. Her face lit up, she gave me an excited little wave as she rushed inside and threw her arms around Carter. After a good long hug she came over to hug me. “I’ve missed you,” she said as she stood in front of me looking me over as if she knew something was wrong. “You okay?” she asked.
I nodded and smiled as best I could. “Yeah, I’m fine. Just getting caught up.” It occurred to me that we hadn’t really spoken since I’d lost Lilly. I hadn’t really spoken to anyone outside of that little house full of vampires.
“Oh, that will take no time at all. There’s hardly been any assignments and I’ve been just bored out of my mind at my parents’.” She tried to keep her eyes on me as she spoke but she was doing a terrible job. Her eyes kept drifting past me to the kitchen table. “So I’m totally happy school starts back up tomorrow.”
“Sure,” I didn’t want her to feel like she needed to talk to me. I understood that she’d missed Carter and she wanted to be with him. I imagined she had lots of questions for him considering he hadn’t actually spoken to her since he’d been attacked. “How about we do dinner tonight and catch up,” I said.