Daddy Wore Spurs (Mills & Boon Cherish) (Men of the West, Book 32) (13 page)

He sounded incredulous, and anger spurted through her. No doubt he’d figured she was so weak-minded and besotted with him that the idea of her refusing his proposal had never entered his mind.

“Not only am I turning you down, but I think you need to start making plans to leave here. The sooner, the better!”

A muscle jumped in his jaw and for a split second, Mariah would’ve sworn she saw pain shadow his eyes. But as he silently turned and left the room, she couldn’t be sure about anything, except that her heart had just splintered into a pile of painful pieces.

Chapter Eleven

T
he next morning Finn made sure he was out of the house before Mariah appeared in the kitchen for coffee. It would’ve been unbearable to sit across from her at the breakfast table, sharing a morning meal as though they were still a couple.

A couple. Had they ever been truly that? he wondered dismally. He’d thought so. Ever since that night the filly had been born and the two of them had first made love, he’d believed something rich and real had happened between them. And last night, before he’d proposed to her, he’d been sure he felt love in her kisses, heard it in her sighs.

But now she wanted him gone. She wanted nothing to do with marrying him. She refused to consider the three of them making a home on this beautiful ranch. Why had she twisted his hopes and dreams? His plans for their future together?

I want a man to marry me because he loves me. Not because it’s convenient. Or gives him everything he wants in one neat little package.

In spite of the long, miserable hours that had passed since she’d said those words to him, they were still echoing through him, tormenting him with frustration.

Oh God, why would she think he was using her just to get a ranch? Hell, all it took to get a piece of land was money. And he had plenty of that. He’d have no problem acquiring land for his mustangs. But he couldn’t come up with another woman. Not one that he loved to distraction. Not one that he wanted to be with until his life on this earth was over.

So what are you going to do now, Finn? She’s ordered you to leave. Maybe you ought to head back to the house and put up a persuasive argument.

The cynical voice in his head had him groaning as he paused beneath the shed row. If he had to argue and plead to get a woman to marry him, then she clearly wasn’t the wife he needed.

A black rubber feed bucket was sitting at the gate to one of the stalls. Finn flipped it over and once he’d taken a seat, pulled out his cell phone. At this hour of the morning, Sassy had more than likely fed the kids and headed out to the barn.

His sister answered on the second ring, and the sound of her cheerful voice caused his heart to wince. She was the one person who seemed to truly understand him.

“Finn, how did you guess I was just about to call you?”

“I have telepathy with my sister. But I can’t guess what you were going to call me about. You sound happy about something.”

“Oh, I am! And you’re going to be the first to hear. After Jett, that is. I’m pregnant!”

Her announcement almost had him forgetting his own problems. But not quite. Just the mention of the word had him envisioning Mariah carrying his child.

“Pregnant? Again? Are you kidding me?”

Sassy laughed. “Why, no. Why do you sound so amazed? You knew that Jett and I wanted a big family. This one will only be number three.”

“Well, yes, I was aware that you two wanted more kids, but little Skyler was only born a few months ago! Don’t you need a rest?”

His question brought another crow of laughter from her. “Me rest? Finn, I’ll do that when I get old. Besides, Gypsy is a wonderful nanny. When I’m out working with the cattle or horses, I don’t have to worry one second about the kids. I know she’s taking care of everything.”

Yes, Sassy had been lucky in finding the young Shoshone woman to care for her children. If only he could be that lucky in finding a nanny for Harry, Finn thought. Because it was quite obvious that Mariah wasn’t going to be around to make sure his son had the care he needed.

“Well, if you and Jett are happy about the coming baby, then I’m thrilled, too.”

“Awww, thanks, dear brother, I knew you’d be happy for me,” she said with affection, then swiftly changed the subject. “So what were you calling about? You got news about the DNA?”

Oh Lord, it seemed like it had been days ago since he’d opened that letter, instead of last night. So much had happened that his head was still spinning. And his heart—well, the pain it was causing him was so excruciating it was indescribable.

“Last evening. I’m Harry’s father, all right.”

“Oh, Finn. That’s wonderful. Are you happy about it?”

“I’m happy and relieved. I think I loved him from the moment I held him in my arms.” He took a deep breath and let it out. “So we’ll be coming home—probably tomorrow. That’s why I’m calling. I need your help.”

“Sure. Anything.”

He looked over at the mares milling about in the paddock. The two that had already foaled were now out to pasture with their babies. The other three he’d kept confined so that he could keep a close watch on their progress.

“I’ve bought ten mustangs plus two new babies and I need to find a place to put them for a while. Until I can come up with a permanent spot to keep them. I thought—maybe you had a few acres I could use. That land on the north edge of your ranch is still empty, isn’t it?”

“Yes, but there’s no water there yet. Unless it rains. And God only knows when that might happen. But forget about that. You can use the section on the west side of the ranch. We don’t have any cattle on it right now. And the windmill is in good working order. You might have to feed them a bit, but I think they’ll find a little to graze on.”

“But you might need that pasture soon, Sassy. Jett might not like the idea of me using it.”

She laughed as though his suggestion was ludicrous. “I run the ranch. Jett runs his law office. Whatever decisions I make about the livestock or land are fine with him. Besides, he loves you. He’ll be glad we could help.”

Finn swallowed at the lump that had suddenly formed in his throat. “Thanks, Sassy. I really appreciate it. What with Dad and Gramps—”

“You don’t have to explain, Finn. You and I have talked about this before. Frankly, I’m really happy that you’ve taken this step. It’s something you’ve always wanted to do. And you’re going to do great with the mustangs. I just know it.”

“Hearing you say that means a lot to me. Especially—”

He broke off as his gaze strayed toward the house. Now wasn’t the time to explain his broken relationship with Mariah. Maybe later after he’d gotten back to Nevada, he could talk to Sassy about it.

“Especially, what?” she prompted when he didn’t go on. “Is anything wrong, Finn? You don’t exactly sound like yourself.”

“I’m fine. What with getting Harry ready to go and making arrangements for the horses to be shipped, I have a lot to deal with.”

“Dealing with a thousand things at once has always been easy for you, Finn. And you do it with a happy grin. But you don’t sound exactly happy to me right now. Having a new son without any time to prepare to become a dad would be pretty overwhelming. If you need me to help, Finn, just tell me. Gypsy can handle one more baby...if you’d like to come stay with us for a while.”

“Thanks, but no. I— My job is waiting on me at the ranch. And the sooner I get Harry settled in there, the better off we’ll both be,” he said flatly. “But there is something else you can do for me.”

“Name it.”

“Call Rafe and tell him I’ll be heading home tomorrow. He can let the others know.”

“Oh, you don’t want to speak with your brother?” she asked thoughtfully.

“No.”

There was a long pause and then she said, “Okay. I love you, Finn. See you when you get home.”

“I love you, too, sis,” he told her, then ended the call before she could guess the gruffness in his voice was actually the sound of his broken heart.

* * *

Later that morning, Mariah was in her father’s old room, sitting at a desk where she kept all the ranch’s paperwork. The bills stacked in front of her were enough to make her sick to her stomach. But her worry over the unpaid bills was minor compared to the misery she felt over Finn.

You brought it all on yourself. Instead of telling him you love him and want to marry him, you had to get all indignant and start accusing him of wanting this ranch more than he wants you. I hope your pride is worth this, Mariah.

Bending her head, she pressed fingertips to her closed eyelids and willed the mocking voice in her head to go away. She felt bad enough without it constantly reminding her that she’d ruined everything between them. As if anyone could ruin a fairy tale, she thought bitterly. Because that’s all it had been. Just wishful dreaming on her part.

A light knock on the door brought her head up and she glanced around to see Finn standing in the open doorway. The sight of him caused everything inside her to go rigid with pain.

“Sorry to interrupt,” he said flatly. “But there are a few things I need to discuss with you.”

She rose to her feet. “We had our discussion last night,” she said hoarsely. “There’s nothing more to be said.”

He walked into the room. “I’m not here to discuss any of that. We both said enough on the subject last night. I’m here to talk about Harry. I’ve informed my family that I’ll be heading home tomorrow. Can you have his things ready to go by midmorning?”

If she hadn’t been holding on to the back of her chair, Mariah felt sure she would have wilted to the floor. Her knees felt like wet sponges and her heart was beating a loud protest against her ribs.

“Yes. I’ll have everything packed.”

“Good. A livestock transporter will be here early in the morning to pick up the mustangs. So I plan to leave shortly after the horses do.”

Tomorrow. He and Harry would be leaving tomorrow. She’d told him that the quicker he left, the better. He was giving her just what she’d asked for. The reality of it left her numb.

“What about the mares? Aren’t you worried one of them might go into labor during the trip?”

His expression turned harder than granite. “You’re not worried. Why should I be?”

She supposed she deserved that. But he ought to understand that the longer he remained here, the more difficult it would be for everyone.

“I wouldn’t mind if you left them,” she offered stiffly. “At least until they’ve foaled.”

“No thanks. I want them with me.”

So he’d already found a place to put the mustangs, she thought. She wanted to ask him where they’d be going, but if he’d wanted her to know that, he would have told her. Besides, the mustangs were no longer her worry. After tomorrow horses would never be a part of her life. Neither would Finn. As for Harry, an occasional visit with her little nephew would be the most she could hope for.

“I see. Well, I’ll start getting Harry’s things collected and packed. Do you think—uh, you can make the trip okay with him? I mean, traveling with a baby isn’t easy.”

He stared at her, his expression unflinching. “We’ll make it fine,” he said flatly. “Without you.”

Tears burned her throat as she walked over to stand in front of him. “I’m sorry, Finn. That—things didn’t work out.”

“I’m sorry, too, Mariah. Damned sorry.”

He turned and left the room and as Mariah watched him go, she had to fight the urge to run after him. He and Harry were everything to her. She didn’t want them to go. But on the other hand, she wanted to be loved just for being her. Not because she owned a ranch or was a ready-made mother.

Maybe that kind of love would never come to her. But she had to hope and believe that someday it would.

An hour later, Mariah was in the nursery, packing Harry’s toys into a cardboard box while on the other side of the room, Linda sat rocking Harry.

“Have you lost your mind, Mariah?”

Mariah frowned at the woman. “I feel very sane at the moment, thank you.”

“Yeah, but how will you feel tomorrow? How will you feel when you see Harry and Finn drive away?”

Mariah’s jaw tightened as she tried to steel herself against that heartbreaking image. “I’ll feel like my life is taking on a new beginning.”

“Like hell,” Linda muttered. “You’re going to be crushed. You’re going to realize what a mistake you’re making.”

The only mistake she’d made was in thinking Finn had taken her to bed because he really loved her. When all along, his main thoughts had been on this ranch and making it a home for a herd of mustangs.

Dear Lord, he’d turned out to be more like her father than she could’ve ever imagined. Her daddy had been a man who’d worn spurs and now Harry’s daddy wore them, too. She supposed that was fitting. At least Aimee would’ve been happy about it. But for the past few days, Mariah had felt as though she’d truly become important to Finn. Much more important than a herd of mustangs and a piece of land.

“Linda, when Finn told me he loved me, I would have believed him—if he’d stopped right there. But in the next breath, he was saying he wanted this ranch and how perfect it would be for his mustangs. What am I supposed to think—feel?”

Linda’s short laugh was mocking. “Mariah, listen to yourself. What do you think this ranch has been for the past twenty years? Your father put his heart and soul into this land to make it a great place to raise horses. You should be proud and happy that Finn can appreciate that.”

Mariah picked up a little brown teddy bear with intentions of placing it in the box, but somehow it found its way to her chest, where she pressed it tight against her aching heart. “I don’t have to tell you what it was like for me...with Dad. And Aimee. Stallion Canyon was their life, their love. I was just around. And then when things went wrong with Kris...” As her words trailed away, she shook her head. “It doesn’t matter anymore. None of it matters.”

Harry let out another fussy cry and Linda rose from the rocker and began to bounce the baby in her arms. “Is that why you don’t care whether Finn takes Harry out of your life? Because he’s actually Aimee’s baby? Because Finn made love to Aimee before he made love to you?”

Whirling around, Mariah glared at her. “That’s a low blow.”

“I meant for it to be,” she said sharply, then started toward the door. “I’ll be in the kitchen putting some ice on Harry’s gums.”

Once Linda and Harry had disappeared, Mariah covered her face with both hands and sucked in several long breaths in an attempt to collect herself. But her effort did little to compose her ragged emotions. With a watery wall of tears blurring her vision, she finished packing Harry’s things.

* * *

Two weeks later, Finn was sitting in his office, a small square room located inside the main horse barn on the Silver Horn Ranch. For the past hour he’d been staring at a catalog for an upcoming horse auction, trying to determine if any of the offered horses were something the Horn could use, but his heart wasn’t in the effort.