Daddy Wore Spurs (Mills & Boon Cherish) (Men of the West, Book 32) (11 page)

Angry and hurt, Finn pushed away from the irrigation wheel to stare across the sea of grass where spots of river glittered through the limbs like diamonds hanging from a Christmas tree.

“Then don’t tell him!” Finn said tightly. “Because neither of you have anything to worry about. I damn well don’t plan on bringing them to the Horn!”

“Then what are you planning to do?” Orin demanded.

“I haven’t decided yet. But you can be sure of one thing. Wherever the mustangs go, I’ll go with them! Now I have to go. Good-bye, Dad.”

“Finn! Listen to me! I—”

Finn ended the connection and drew in several deep breaths in hopes it would cool his boiling blood. He’d probably just burned a bunch of bridges with that last shot he’d flung at his father, but Finn wasn’t going to regret it. It was high time that his family realized he was a thirty-two-year-old man with dreams and desires of his own. He couldn’t live his life according to a Calhoun edict.

* * *

That night as Mariah and Finn sat at the dinner table, she worriedly watched as he pushed the food around on his plate. From the moment he walked into the house this evening, he’d seemed preoccupied. Now as her gaze slid over his rugged features, she could see lines of fatigue around his eyes and mouth. But she had a feeling it wasn’t fatigue that was making him withdrawn. Something else was wrong.

“If you don’t care for the pork chops, Finn, I’ll be happy to fix you something else.”

His expression rueful, he glanced across the table at her. “I’m sorry, Mariah. The food is delicious. You’ve cooked everything just right.”

To prove his point, he shoveled up a forkful of mashed potatoes and gravy and lifted it to his mouth.

She reached for her iced tea and took a long sip before she casually asked, “How’s baby Poppy?”

A halfhearted grin crossed his face and the weak reaction told Mariah that something was definitely wrong. Normally, the mere mention of the newborn filly would light up Finn’s whole demeanor. Tonight there was a sadness dimming his eyes and the sight troubled her greatly.

“She’s getting spunkier every day. I might turn them into the meadow with the geldings tomorrow and give the baby a chance to stretch her legs.”

“What about the mares?” Mariah asked, as she offered Harry a spoonful of pureed fruit.

“I’m happy with how they’re looking. The brown mare’s milk bag is getting full so I expect her to deliver in the next day or two.”

Harry smacked his hands on the high chair tray and opened his mouth for another bite. As Mariah continued to feed the baby, she said, “I hope all the babies are born before it’s time for you to ship them back to Nevada.”

The silence that followed her comment had her looking over to see him staring moodily toward the windows behind her shoulder. Mariah decided it wasn’t the time to prod him with questions. At best, her time with Finn was limited; she didn’t want to waste it by picking and prodding at him.

After a moment, his gaze snapped back to hers and though he attempted to smile, she could see his heart was hardly in it. “Yes, I hope it will work out that way, too.”

The remainder of the meal passed with Finn saying very little and Mariah focusing on feeding Harry the last of his food. Afterward, Finn helped her with the dishes, then excused himself to attend to chores at the barn.

While he was out of the house, Mariah readied Harry for bed, then graded a stack of test papers. She’d just finished the schoolwork and was carrying Harry toward the nursery when she heard Finn enter the house through the back door.

Changing directions, she met him in the breezeway. “I was on my way to the nursery to change Harry’s diaper,” she told him. “Was everything all right at the barn?”

An annoyed frown put a crease between his brows. “Everything was fine. Why do you keep asking me?”

Losing her patience, she snapped, “Maybe because you’re acting like you’ve lost your best friend. And you won’t tell me what’s wrong.”

Not waiting on his reply, she turned and walked straight to the nursery. She’d laid Harry on the dressing table and was in the process of unsnapping the legs of his pants when she heard Finn’s boots tapping against the tiled floor of the nursery.

“Let me do that,” he said softly as he brushed her hands out of the way.

Saying nothing, she stood to one side and watched him deftly deal with Harry’s soiled diaper, all the while talking to the boy in a hushed, gentle voice. When he had Harry dressed again, he positioned him over his shoulder, then turned toward Mariah.

“I’m sorry for snapping at you, Mariah.” He blew out a heavy breath. “I have a lot on my mind—but that’s no excuse.”

Mariah had a lot on her mind, too. And all of it had to do with him and Harry. And where she might fit into their lives.

Placing her hand on his arm, she gave him a wobbly smile. “I’m sorry, too. Would you like to go sit on the back porch? I can make us some coffee if you’d like.”

“Sounds nice. I’ll take Harry with me,” he told her.

A few minutes later, Mariah stepped onto the back porch, carrying a tray with the coffee and a few slices of pound cake. As she placed it on a small table, she looked over to see that Finn was sitting in the rocker with Harry already asleep in his arms.

He said, “Harry looked around for a minute or two and then his eyelids got droopy. I must be a dull daddy. Each time I hold him, he falls asleep.”

Mariah smiled. “He feels contented and safe when you hold him. That’s why he falls asleep.”

“Well, now that you’re here with the coffee, I’ll put him in his playpen.”

He carried Harry over to the playpen and covered him with a quilt to protect him from the cool evening air. Once he’d resumed his seat in the rocker, Mariah served him the coffee and cake, then sank into the chair angled to his left arm.

As she helped herself to a cup, he said, “I finished working on the irrigation pump this afternoon. So far it’s working as it should.”

“That’s great. You must be a regular handyman. Dad always called a repairman out whenever it went on the blink.”

He shrugged. “Dad made us boys learn to do other chores besides ride horses and chase cows. He always reminded us that ranching was much more than taking care of livestock.”

“Sounds like your father is a wise man.”

He turned a thoughtful gaze toward the mountain ridge to the east as he sipped at the coffee. “I used to think he could do no wrong. And I still love and respect him. But—”

Mariah gripped the handle of her cup as she waited for him to continue. When he didn’t she asked, “Has something happened with your family, Finn?”

The shake of his head was so negligible, she barely caught it.

“Not exactly. Dad called while I was out at the meadow working on the pump. I told him about buying the mustangs and he threw a little cussing fit.”

Mariah’s heart was suddenly aching for him. She knew what it was like to feel unappreciated and misunderstood. And she didn’t want that for Finn. She could see for herself that he was a hardworking, responsible man. He deserved his family’s consideration.

“So what did you tell him?” Mariah asked.

She watched his jaw tighten and the corners of his mouth curve downward. Apparently, the conversation he’d had with his father was still making him angry. Which surprised her. Since Finn had come to the ranch, she hadn’t ever seen him in this dark of a mood.

He said, “That I’d find some other place to put them. And wherever the mustangs go, that’s where I’ll go.”

She drew in a sharp breath. “Oh, Finn. That was a pretty definitive thing to say, wasn’t it?”

“Yeah. It was pretty final, all right. Especially considering that after I said it, I hung up the phone,” he said flatly. “Now I have to decide what to do. About the horses and myself.”

Leaning forward, she studied his profile in the waning twilight. “Finn, what is this going to mean? About Harry? And—”

“We’re still waiting on the DNA,” he interrupted.

“We both know that’s just a formality.”

He stared at her. “A formality? You insisted on it!”

Her gaze dropped sheepishly to her lap. “I know,” she mumbled. “But I felt we both needed that certainty. And I guess a part of me was grasping at straws. Wanting a reason to keep Harry here longer. And wanting to keep you here longer, too.”

“Oh, Mariah.”

Suddenly he was on his feet, reaching for both her hands. With her heart beating wildly, she allowed him to draw her from the chair and fold her into his arms.

“I don’t want you to worry about the test. About Harry or us. I just want you to touch me, love me and make me forget everything. Except this.”

His mouth came down on hers and she melted against him as his lips promised a pleasure that only he could give her. And as her mouth accepted the thrust of his tongue, the doubts and fears that were racing through her mind only moments ago were suddenly wiped away with a sweeping flame of desire.

“Let’s get Harry and go inside,” he whispered.

She smiled against his lips. “It’s pretty early to go to bed. Especially when I’m not a bit sleepy.”

He chuckled. “It’s going to be a long, long time before you get any sleep, my darling.”

Chapter Ten

N
early a week later, on late Thursday afternoon, Finn was in the mares’ paddock, studying their condition and trying to determine how long it would be before the last three dropped their foals. Two days ago the brown mare had safely delivered a black colt, and Finn was thrilled to see he was thriving and already running and bucking alongside his mother.

To help him get an idea of their due dates, Mariah had searched through some of the last notes Aimee had recorded regarding the ranch’s breeding schedule. The dates had given him a fairly close idea of when the mares would deliver, but sometimes they were as unpredictable as women. The last thing he wanted to do was put them on a horse van to travel several hours. But time was winding down and sooner rather than later, he was going to have to decide what to do with the mustangs.

You have a hell of a lot more than the mustangs to worry about, Finn. Mariah has built herself a home smack in the middle of your heart. So what are you going to do about her?

The nagging voice in his head prompted Finn to walk over to the wooden fence and stare thoughtfully toward the house. Tomorrow was Mariah’s last day at school. And they both expected Harry’s DNA test to arrive at any time now. Once that happened there would be no reason for him to continue to stay here on Stallion Canyon. Unless Mariah asked him to. And so far that hadn’t happened. But then Stallion Canyon wasn’t going to be hers for much longer. She might feel it was pointless to ask him.

During the past week their relationship had grown even deeper. At least, it had felt that way to Finn. Each night she’d made love to him as though a lifetime of kissing him, holding him, would never be enough. Yet she’d never whispered a word to him about love, or forever, or the future. And now, as time was closing in, he was beginning to wonder if she’d become his bed partner only to ease her loneliness, not because she was falling in love with him.

Was that what he wanted? To hear Mariah say she loved him? Because he’d already fallen in love with her? For the past few days Finn had been in a perpetual wrestling match with those questions. Now he was beginning to realize it had been wrong of him to expect Mariah to open her heart to him first. Especially when he’d not said a word to her about love or marriage, something he should’ve done days ago. But he’d hesitated because he’d wanted to make sure what he was feeling was more than infatuation or lust.

Finn had never been in love before. As a very young man, he’d thought the attachment he’d felt to Janelle was love, but now he could see his relationship with her had been little more than a childhood crush that had lasted longer than it should have. What he felt for Mariah was much, much deeper. He wanted the connection they’d built between them to go on forever. If that was love, then he needed to decide what it meant for both of their futures.

Thoughts about Mariah were continuing to roll through his head when he suddenly spotted a man and woman he’d never seen before step out the back door of the house. Dressed in dark office-type clothing, the woman had short gray hair and was carrying some sort of briefcase beneath one arm. The man was tall and wearing traditional ranch clothing. From this distance, Finn guessed him to be somewhere in his fifties.

The two paused on the edge of the patio, then the woman pointed toward the barn. At that moment, Finn realized the woman had to be the real estate agent Mariah had hired to sell Stallion Canyon. Obviously, the man with her was a serious buyer. Otherwise, the woman would’ve never bothered to bring him all the way out here to view the property.

With a sick feeling swimming in the pit of his stomach, Finn let himself out of the paddock and walked over to the shed row. By then the man and woman were fast approaching, and not wanting to appear evasive or rude, he forced himself to stand there and wait for them to arrive.

The woman introduced herself to Finn as Ella Clark, a real estate agent from Alturas. The man with her was Don Larson, a rancher looking for a larger spread to run cattle. After a short exchange of small talk, Finn decided Larson appeared friendly enough. But all the while the other man was talking, Finn was trying to picture him working around these barns and arena, of him living in the house and perhaps even sleeping in the same room where he and Mariah made love. The idea sickened Finn more than he’d ever imagined it would. It also made him realize just how much he’d come to think of Stallion Canyon as his home.

Smiling at Finn, Ella said, “Mr. Larson is looking for good grazing land. I’ve been telling him how the Montgomery family has raised horses on this land for years, so it’s bound to have a good supply of grass.”

“It’s like any place else. It has to rain to have grass,” Finn said bluntly.

The woman’s brows shot up, while Larson asked, “And how often does it rain around here?”

“I’m not the one to ask. I’m just a temporary resident.” The admission was worse than coughing up nails, Finn thought. But the truth just the same.

“Oh,” the man said. “I thought you worked here.”

Finn grimaced. “There are no hired hands here on Stallion Canyon. And pretty soon there won’t be any horses.”

Ella Clark awkwardly cleared her throat. “Things must’ve changed around here.”

“Yeah. You could say that,” Finn replied. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ll let you show Mr. Larson the rest of the property.”

Finn quickly left the two of them and headed to the house. When he let himself into the kitchen, he found Linda sitting at the breakfast bar, sniffing back tears. Across the room, Harry was sitting in his high chair working diligently to eat a graham cracker.

“What’s the matter?” he asked Linda.

She used the corner of a paper towel to dab her eyes. “To have people traipsing through here like—this place already belongs to someone else.” She sucked in a deep breath and looked at him. “When I think of Ray I can hardly bear it.”

Since Finn had gotten to know Linda, he was beginning to understand more and more that the woman had been very close to Mariah’s father. And that fact was even more apparent as he watched tears roll down her face.

“I met them out at the barn,” was all he could say. “He’s only looking. It’s hardly a done deal.”

“If he doesn’t buy, the next one will,” she said bitterly, then turned her back to him.

There wasn’t much Finn could say to that. Instead of trying, he walked over and plucked Harry out of the high chair. Holding the boy in his arms always comforted him. But this evening he could only think of how much his son was about to lose.

* * *

A short while later, at the end of the long gravel drive leading to the ranch house, Mariah stopped her car at a rural mailbox fastened to a fat fence post. She’d lowered the window on the driver’s side and was plucking a stack of envelopes from the metal box when the sound of an approaching vehicle had her peering through the windshield.

She recognized Linda’s old red Ford heading toward her, and from the wake of dust billowing behind it, the woman was in a hurry. Apparently she’d gotten Finn to watch Harry so she could leave early.

By the time Mariah closed the mailbox and tossed the correspondence in the passenger seat, Linda’s vehicle was drawing near. Mariah lowered the passenger window and waited for Linda to stop alongside the car to give her some sort of explanation as to why she was leaving early. Instead, the truck sped on, even as Mariah waved at the woman.

Puzzled by Linda’s unusual behavior, Mariah started to drive on, but a piece of mail suddenly caught her eye. With her foot back on the brake, she twisted her head to read the return address.

The word
Laboratory
was all she needed to see. The results of Harry and Finn’s DNA test had finally arrived. One way or the other, they were about to find out whether Finn had a legal right to the boy, or if the search for Harry’s real father was just now beginning.

With Linda’s unusual behavior momentarily pushed to the back of her mind, Mariah finished the short drive to the ranch house and hurried inside through the back entrance.

Immediately she spotted Finn standing in front of the microwave. Harry was propped against his shoulder and at the moment was emitting hungry wails around the tiny fist crammed in his mouth.

“Hi, darlin’,” he greeted. “I’m heating Harry a bottle. Linda’s already gone. Maybe you saw her.”

Mariah walked to the breakfast bar and placed the stack of mail on one end. “All I saw was a blur. She was flooring that old Ford. She must’ve been running late to an appointment in town.”

The microwave dinged and Finn pulled out the warmed bottle. “No appointment. She was upset. I suggested she go on home and let me handle Harry.”

“Upset?” Mariah frowned. “Linda is always a rock. Did she get bad news or something?”

Finn carried Harry over to the bar, and after he’d taken a seat on one of the stools, offered the baby his bottle. With Harry happily drinking, Finn looked up at Mariah and she couldn’t help but notice that the usual sparkle in his blue eyes was definitely missing.

He said, “She considered it bad news. The real estate agent and a potential buyer just left the place a few minutes ago. Linda is pretty torn up that the ranch might be selling soon.”

A heavy weight of doom fell on Mariah’s shoulders and sank to the bottom of her stomach. “Ms. Clark called me earlier today and informed me she’d be showing the place today. I could hardly tell her that now wasn’t a good time. No time would be a good time.”

“Really?”

A month ago she would’ve been shouting hallelujah at the idea of the ranch being taken off her hands. Now the whole idea made her sick. Was that what being in love did to a woman? she wondered. Was that the reason she was looking at everything differently? This place had once seemed such a burden. Now it felt like a home again. And all because of Finn. But he would be going back to Nevada soon. It would be irresponsible of her to dream the foolish dream of keeping him and Harry here, wouldn’t it?

Her throat suddenly aching, she said, “I’ve come to realize how much I still love this place, Finn. But I... Well, we’ll talk about Stallion Canyon later. Right now, there’s something more important.”

She picked up the piece of mail and with a trembling hand, thrust it at him. “The results are here. I think you should be the one to open it. This is all about you and Harry.”

His gaze gently probed hers. “It’s all about you, too,” he said quietly.

Tears stung the back of her eyes and in a hoarse voice, she said, “Please open the damned thing before I decide to set a match to it.”

With one hand occupied with holding Harry’s bottle, he used the other to lift the envelope to his mouth. Using his teeth, he tore off the end, then fished out the contents.

As he began to read, Mariah suddenly found herself standing next to his shoulder. And in spite of all the certainty she’d felt about Finn being Harry’s father, her heart was pounding and her mouth had gone dry with fear. What if the DNA didn’t match? Finn would be crushed. And so would she.

Eons seemed to drag by before he finally spoke, and by then Mariah’s emotions had run the gamut from panic to joy and everything in between.

“I am Harry’s father,” he said simply.

Mariah began to tremble all over and she wasn’t sure if the reaction was from relief or the realization that everything was suddenly coming to an end. Harry was truly Finn’s child. And even though he’d asked her to travel with him to his family ranch in Nevada, the short stay there to help get Harry accustomed to new surroundings would be only a temporary bandage on the gaping wound in her heart.

Her hand came to rest on Finn’s shoulder and as she looked down at Harry’s cheek pressed against his father’s strong chest, she could only feel a sense of rightness. Harry would always be loved. And dear God, that was the thing she wanted most for him.

“Are you happy?”

He looked up at her and she was relieved to see that the sparkle had returned to his eyes.

“In my heart Harry was already mine. But it’s great to see it verified. How do you feel about the news?”

Her fingers squeezed his shoulder. “I wouldn’t have wanted anyone but you to be Harry’s father. That’s the way I feel.”

A slow grin lifted the corner of his mouth. “When Harry gets finished with this bottle, I’m going to kiss you.”

Chuckling now, she bent and kissed him gently on the cheek. “I’m going to remind you of that.”

* * *

That night after dinner, as Finn helped Mariah clear away the remnants of their meal, she had little to say and he could see that her thoughts were preoccupied with something. Now that the matter of the DNA test was resolved and her job was finished for the summer, she had to be wondering what was next for the three of them.

Finn realized she deserved to know his feelings and what his plans included. But how could he explain to her that everything inside him was scattered and racing in all different directions? The plans he’d had when he’d first arrived on Stallion Canyon no longer appealed to him. Now when he thought of his and Harry’s future, Mariah had to be in it. But was that what she wanted too?

“Have you called your family to let them know about the DNA?”

Her question interrupted his thoughts and he glanced over to see her scraping scraps of leftover food into the garbage container.

Running a hand through his hair, he said, “No. What with feeding the horses and having dinner, I haven’t had a quiet moment yet.”

“Then go on and make your call,” she urged him. “I’ll finish things here.”

He hesitated. “There’s no hurry about it.”

Placing the plate in the bottom of the sink, she turned to him. A puzzled frown creased her forehead. “Finn, if I didn’t know better, I’d think you’re putting off talking to your family.”

Realizing he looked more than sheepish, he wiped a hand over his face. “To tell you the truth, I’m not looking forward to it.”

Her brows pulled together. “But why? I thought you were thrilled about the test results.”

“I am. But they’ll be asking me questions that— Well, after the awful conversation I had with Dad, I’m not sure what I want to tell them—about anything.”