Belligerent didn’t begin to describe his behavior after a couple of belts of whiskey. For the first time since Jessie had taken off for Riverton, Brandt was glad she hadn’t been around to witness the family fiasco. His dad baiting him every five minutes. His dad bellering at Dalton for something he’d done or left undone, probably a decade past. Then sneering at Tell for his pathetic attempts to keep the peace.
After three hours of pure hell, Brandt made his excuses. He and Landon hightailed it out of there.
How his sainted mother put up with Casper McKay’s crap for over forty years was truly a miracle. But even docile Joan McKay had snapped at her husband when he acted like an ass. Which had been frequently.
“Does that smile mean you’re thinkin’ about Jessie?”
Brandt gave Dalton, in the passenger seat, an annoyed look.
Cowgirls Don’t Cry
Tell leaned between them from the back of the quad cab. “What Dalton ain’t so good at askin’—” he shoved Dalton slightly, “—is if you and Jessie are makin’ plans for the future. Because you seem awful damn happy, and we’d be pissed if you were keepin’ it from us.”
“Yeah, because you guys have been
so
supportive when it comes to how I’ve felt about Jess in the past,” Brandt said sarcastically.
“It’s different now.”
“How so?”
“Because now she feels the same way,” Tell said. “She didn’t before.”
That jarred him. How did these two know how Jessie felt about him when he wasn’t sure about it himself?
“Besides. Jessie’s changed. She was pretty firmly under Luke’s thumb, and it’s taken her some time to figure out who she is and find herself again.”
Dalton shoved Tell this time. “Jesus, Tell, what’s with you spouting off all this new age, hippie, mumbo-jumbo ‘finding herself’ bullshit?”
“I suppose you’ve got a better explanation, Mr. D-minus in psychology?” Tell shot back.
“I sure do.”
Brandt tuned them out as they bickered. He tuned them out so completely it took, “Whoa, Brandt, you’re gonna miss the turn,” to get his focus back.
At least fifteen pickups were parked at Cord and AJ’s house. Staring at Cord’s big house, Brandt had that same wistful feeling he’d felt at Ben’s. Not wanting a fancy place to hang his hat, but a home, his own home. His trailer wasn’t much more than a place to crash every night.
His brothers were quiet and Brandt wondered if they were thinking the same thing. Landon yelled,
“Up!” and drummed his feet into his carseat.
“We hear ya. I’ll get him since I’m already back here,” Tell said.
After he got out of his truck, Brandt was surprised to see his mother walking toward him. Did that mean his dad had decided to show up at the annual McKay post-Thanksgiving get together? “I didn’t think you guys were comin’ today.”
“Your dad isn’t. I left him at home.” His mother’s eyes darted to where Dalton and Tell were unloading Landon. But she didn’t go over to offer them help.
“You okay?” She actually seemed nervous, which was crazy because she’d been coming to McKay family events for four decades.
Her pale blue eyes shifted to him. Her dark hair, once streaked with silver, was now all silver. Again, it struck him how much she’d aged since Luke’s death. Her smiles were rare these days, too, so when she laughed, Brandt didn’t know how to react.
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“Honestly? I’m nervous, even when I know that’s just plain stupid. It’s strange showing up at a McKay family party without your father, but ain’t no one gonna be cryin’ in their beer Casper ain’t here.
Especially not his brothers.”
“Which puts you in an awkward position.”
“Yeah, but it’s not the first time nor will it be the last. Kimi and Carolyn and Vi have always treated me well, even when they can’t stand Casper.” She turned and looked at the house. “Hard to believe how long your father and I have been married. But when his brothers and their wives all started havin’ babies…
I’d come to these things and cry for days afterward because I wanted what they had.”
He knew his mother wasn’t only speaking about kids.
“Then my boys came,” she absentmindedly reached out and stroked Brandt’s coat sleeve, “and I fit in.
I could join in the discussions about toilet training, frogs in the bathtub, and the ranching responsibilities you’d all have to live up to as you grew into men.
“Then in recent years it’s been about grandbabies and I’ve had that feeling of envy all over again. Oh, I know you boys are younger than your McKay cousins and weren’t nowhere near ready to settle down, but I’d hoped Luke and Jessie might…but that never happened. And now we’ve got Landon…”
Feeling helpless, Brandt grabbed her hand because it was so unlike her to babble.
“After Luke died, I didn’t care about anything. Especially not about them and their perfect kids and darling little grandkids and how they didn’t have to deal with the unending pain of losing a child. I became bitter. As bitter as your father. I shut down and your dad got meaner yet. I ain’t gonna make excuses for him, but I will apologize for myself. I haven’t been much of a mother to you boys since we lost Luke, and I should’ve tried harder. I should’ve pulled you boys closer, not pushed away from all of you when we needed each other more than ever—”
“Mom. Stop.” Brandt tugged her into his arms. “Just stop.” She was absolutely breaking his heart.
“No,” Tell said from behind him, “Let her talk if she wants to.”
“We’ll listen to anything she has to say,” Dalton added. “She needs to know that.”
Brandt hadn’t heard his brothers come up behind them, but he was damn happy they were here.
She pushed back from Brandt and wiped her tears. “I’ve been thinking about this a lot over the last month and wanted to talk to you boys yesterday. On Thanksgiving. To let you know how thankful I am for each of you, but…well. You were there. Wasn’t exactly a Norman Rockwell painting, was it?”
None of them could look at each other, which was just weird.
“Sorry.” She used a lace hankie to wipe her nose. “I didn’t mean to blather like a fool and get so weepy.”
A moment of silence passed as they all struggled.
“It’s okay, Mom. Tell cries all the damn time. It’s sort of embarrassin’ if you wanna know the truth,”
Dalton mock-whispered.
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Tell probably would’ve shoved him, but Dalton was holding a wide-eyed Landon.
She smiled wanly, shaking her head with that “boys will be boys” look of resignation Brandt recognized. “How long have you been here?”
“An hour.”
“You’ve been sitting in your car in the cold for an hour? Why?”
“Because I didn’t want to go in there by myself.” She sniffed and laughed at the same time. “Stupid, huh?”
“Not stupid. You were just waiting for us, right?”
She nodded and wiped her cheeks.
Brandt was afraid she’d start crying again, and he knew how much that’d embarrass her in front of their McKay relatives. He looked at Dalton. “How about if you let Mom carry Landon inside?”
If he thought his mother was done with tears, he was mistaken. Because for some reason, that made her cry harder.
A few hours later, the noise level in Cord and AJ’s house still rivaled the floor of the New York Stock Exchange.
Kids and dogs running everywhere, inside and out. Men gathered in the den shouting at a football game on TV. Pregnant women in the kitchen. Nursing mothers and babies in the living room. Still more kids racing up and down the stairs. It was pure chaos.
Brandt loved every second of it. He wished Jessie were here because he knew she’d love it too.
“Kane?” Ginger shouted from the living room.
“I’ll get him,” Brandt said. He wandered to the den where his uncles were sacked out in the easy chairs, snoring, while his cousins were crouched on the floor, surrounded by kids, trying to watch the game.
“Kane? Ginger’s lookin’ for you.”
“I’m there.” Immediately Kane pushed to his feet and brushed past Brandt as he lingered in the doorway.
A collective groan arose at a play on the football field.
Colby shifted his youngest son, Austin, asleep on his lap, and pointed at the TV. “That’s gotta be a personal foul.”
“Give it up, Colby,” Cam said. “They’re gonna get their butts handed to them today.”
“And no pussy ref call is gonna make a damn bit of difference,” Ben said. “Shit, I mean shoot, I’m not supposed to say the ‘p’ word in front of the kiddos, am I?”
“Nope,” Quinn said. “Ditto for the ‘d’ word and the ‘s’ word.”
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“If poor Ben can’t curse he ain’t gonna have no language skills at all,” Chase drawled from the other side of the room.
Ben whipped a pillow at him. “Fu—I mean funny.”
Chase caught the pillow, almost without looking.
Colt whistled. “You oughta be playin’ ball instead of ridin’ bulls.”
“I’ll pass. No buckle bunnies waitin’ for a hard ride after a baseball game like they are after a bull riding expo.”
Tell sighed. “Dude. You have the perfect life.”
Brandt looked around. This room used to seem so big, but now it couldn’t hold them all. Colt was backed against the wall with Hudson on his lap. Cam was kicked back in the recliner with his two youngest boys sprawled on him. Quinn’s son Adam rested his head on Quinn’s thigh. Kade leaned against the recliner, his lap empty. Didn’t appear his girls were the slightest bit interested in football.
A dark haired boy Brandt recognized as Carter’s middle son, Spencer, was curled up in the corner.
But he didn’t see the kid’s father. “Where’s Carter?”
“Workin’ on some art thing. Said he’d be by later.”
Colt snorted. “So he says. But since he sent Macie over here with all the kids, what do you think the chances are that’ll happen?”
“Slim to none,” Colby said.
Brandt hadn’t seen Keely’s husband, Jack, either. “Where’s Keely?”
“She and Jack went to his mom’s in South Dakota for Thanksgiving.”
“That’s because she wants to be here on Christmas to see the looks on our faces after she gives each of her nephews a drum set,” Cord said. When his youngest son, Foster, snuggled into his chest, Cord gently patted his back and lowered his voice. “If she ain’t bluffin’ I swear I will strangle her.”
“Yeah, well, get in line. She informed me the nieces are getting tambourines,” Cam pointed out. “That ain’t any better.”
“Keely just told you guys this?” Brandt asked.
“Yep, she doesn’t want anyone to ‘steal’ her present ideas, since she’s dragged Jack along as her pack mule for Black Friday sales shopping.”
“Poor bastard,” Ben said.
“That ‘b’ word is off limits too,” Quinn reminded him.
“I just got a text from Jack that said,
Kill me now
,” Carter said.
Everyone turned toward Carter, who stood behind Brandt.
“Hey, you are here,” Kade said.
“I said I would be.” Carter’s gaze moved between Colt and Colby. “Thanks for the vote of confidence, guys.”
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“Even you gotta admit you lose track of time when you’re workin’ on a new sculpture,” Cam said.
“What is this? Pick on Carter day?”
“Yep, gotta uphold the tradition of pickin’ on the youngest since Keely ain’t here,” Cord said.
“Terrific.”
“Grab a seat.”
Carter looked around. “Where?”
“Good point.”
Chase stood. “You can have my spot. I need air.” As Chase passed by Brandt, he made the “wanna beer?” sign and Brandt nodded, grabbing his coat before he followed Chase out the front door.
The lid on the cooler slammed and Chase handed him a Bud Light. “Thanks.”
“No prob.”
Their breath came out in a misty white steam. “Damn, it’s cold out here.”
“Yeah, but it’s quiet.” Chase took a long swallow. “I’m not used to bein’ around so many kids. I ain’t gonna lie. It drives me insane.”
Brandt didn’t say anything.
“Shit. Sorry. I forgot that you’re takin’ care of Luke’s kid for a while.”
“Don’t worry about it. But there’s a huge difference between one kid and twenty-some kids.”
“So how is it goin’ with Landon?”
He shrugged. “Okay. Jessie’s been workin’ with him to get him to talk more. He’s adjusted to bein’
around kids in the daycare, but the first couple of days were sheer hell for both of us.”
When Chase kept quiet, Brandt said, “You wondering how come I was such a bastard and brought Jessie into this?”
“I’d be lyin’ if I didn’t admit it crossed my mind.” Chase looked straight ahead and drank. “So you’re livin’ with Jessie? At her place?”
Brandt leaned across the railing. “For now. Why?”
“Just curious. Seems everyone is pairing up and producing the next generation of McKays.”
“She’s already paired up with one McKay and that didn’t work out so good for her.”
“That’s probably because she was paired with the wrong McKay to start with.”
Not touching that one.
“What about you? I read all about the ‘Wyoming Wild Man’ in the rodeo magazines. Sounds like you’ve got a girl in every town and left a string of broken hearts across the country.”
“You know how the media exaggerates.”
“So none of it’s true?”
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Chase grinned. “Oh, it’s completely true. The raunchier stuff don’t make the trade mags.” He peeped over his shoulder, then back at Brandt. “I gotta admit, I love havin’ a different girl or two every night if I want. They wanna fuck a top fifteen bull rider and I let ’em. Win-win, right?”
“Right. Who’s the flavor this week?”
“Flavors—plural, as in Miss Rodeo Nevada and Miss Rodeo Montana. Damn good thing the states aren’t next to each other, huh?”
Brandt whistled. “You’ve always had a thing for them fancy types.”
“What’s not to love about big hair, tight jeans, high heeled boots, lots of cleavage and rhinestones?