Courage (Mark of Nexus) (17 page)

Did Rena think I couldn’t sense her over there, or did she just not care anymore?

I knew I should’ve tried to block her out like everyone else—I knew I should’ve tried to keep her at arm’s length—but it was damn near impossible to ignore that girl. Her heartbeat resonated with mine; her emotions melted into my own. There wasn’t a minute of the day I wasn’t intimately aware of her presence.

And then there was Aiden.

The guy had worshipped Rena for as long as I could remember. He carried around these mushy, lovesick feelings that amplified to horror levels whenever she was within arm’s reach. I never brought it up when we were dating because, honestly, what good would it have done? Girls see what they want to. If she was interested in Aiden, she would’ve noticed his crush long before we ever met.

I frowned at the wall that separated us and jerked my shirt over my head. Thinking about an ex this much couldn’t be healthy. I had other things to worry about. Bigger things. Like finals, ERA, and the virus…

With a tug, my pants hit the floor, and I kicked them away. My shirt got thrown somewhere in the direction of my hamper. I didn’t care.

If she was going to be this close, I wanted to drown out the sound of her voice. I wanted to retreat to the farthest frickin’ corner of—

Someone knocked.

Shit.
I started to reach for my pants, but stopped myself. No. If Rena was coming to continue yesterday’s fight, she would just have to take me as I was. Plaid boxers and all.

I strode over to the door and jerked it open, careful to keep the thing on its hinges. “What?”

Corynn blinked. “I, uh…” Her gaze trailed down my chest, and then jerked back up to my eyes. “Is this a bad time?”

My hand flew over my junk, and I stepped back to cover myself with the door. “No, I was just about to get in the shower. You need something?”

She bit her lip and looked away. “Well, I kind of wanted to talk.”

Great. Never a good sign when a woman wanted to talk. “Let me throw some clothes on.”

“No,” she interjected. “I mean, go ahead and get your shower. I can wait.”

Was she serious? I gave her body a quick once-over, half expecting ERA to have planted a bomb on her. Not that those tiny shorts left much to the imagination…

“Okay.” What else could I say? I sure as hell didn’t want Rena to waltz out and find us together. Again. “Come in.”

She edged around me and looked around. “Nice place. You’ve got a lot of room in here.”

“Thanks,” I said, shutting the door behind me. Was she really just going to stand there and wait?

“Go on.” She shooed me toward the bathroom door. “I’ll find something to do.”

“Okay,” I said again. “Well, the remote’s on the floor. Make yourself comfortable.”

She flashed me a grin and hopped on my bed. “Will do.”

I darted into the bathroom before things could get any more awkward between us, but in my haste, forgot to grab clothes.
Great.
I’d have to come out in a towel afterward, and then what? Have her turn around?

When the hell did my life get so complicated?

I locked the door, jerked my boxers down, and left them on the floor.
Might as well get this over with.
I made my way to the stall and cranked the faucet until the showerhead produced a searing stream of water. The fans in Reid were ancient, so it’d only be a matter of minutes before the room filled with steam. Mirrors fogged, walls dripping. It was like an early dose of hell.

With a sigh, I slipped behind the relative safety of the curtain and squirted a blob of green gel into my palm. Rena loved the way my body wash smelled. I was half tempted to bust through Aiden’s door and pull her in here. Would she still claim the scent made her want to jump my bones?

Doubtful. At least, not out loud. She could try to cloak her feelings all she wanted, but at the end of the day, she was still lying—to me
and
herself. I realized that after our fight yesterday. She didn’t have ulterior motives for breaking up with me; she honestly thought she’d done it for my own good.

I rubbed the gel all over and let the water pound my back. The problem was Rena’s stubborn streak. I more or less told her Corynn didn’t mean anything to me, yet she still insisted I was the one who wanted this—that I thought Corynn was better for me. That’s what pissed me off. She didn’t even try to understand.

Honestly, with all the misunderstandings lately, I was starting to get suspicious. Were these things really coincidences, or was someone pulling our strings? None of this even started until Corynn showed up. I clenched my fist and let the suds ooze out.

I liked the girl, I did, but I had a feeling Faye was in her ear when we weren’t around. Why else would the old bat suddenly ‘gift’ us with a Nullari? She had to be getting something out of it. I turned around to let the water hit my chest.

Something like a weakened Dynari…

My eyes widened, and I hurried to rinse the soap off.
Shit.
That made sense. If Faye could cancel out my powers, she wouldn’t have to worry about me posing a threat to her. The Mark of Nexus would be useless, so Rena couldn’t use my strength or empathy. And Cole…God only knew what was in store for Cole.

ERA had started eliminating obstacles—the ones Gail foresaw in her vision. That meant they had to be planning something big. I reached for my shampoo, but jerked back when a lightning bolt shot from the top of my head to the base of my shoulder.
Gah.

I knew that feeling. I hadn’t had an unscheduled cluster for months—probably since before Rena. Why now of all times?

My hand grasped for the bar, but slid off as I stumbled back and ground my teeth together.
Shit, shit, shit. Ramping too fast; no time to get out. Damn it. At least an eight.

White-hot pain speared my left eye, igniting the entire side of my face. I shoved my palm against it and clutched at my head.
Too late.
I slammed my back against the tiles seconds before my knees gave out.

Slid down. On my ass. Couldn’t think. I rocked back and forth, praying for the millionth time my strength didn’t leave during these things. I’d rip my skull apart, bash my eye in—let this demon bastard out once and for all.

The water pelted me with shame as I writhed there, helpless in the shower. All I could hear over the spray were my groans echoing off the walls. The shaft in my eye tore deeper through my skull and violated any threshold I tried to claim. I couldn’t take it. My heart thundered out of control.

I hissed through my teeth and kept thrashing through the pain, rocking back and forth. A thousand curse words found my lips, but only came out as a garbled scream. I couldn’t breathe. The air ripped from my lungs and I panicked, more and more, until there was nowhere left for it to go.

With a gasp, I forced another acidic mouthful of oxygen inside my body, but it wasn’t enough. God, I wanted to die.

I need an injection.

The band around my arm burned in contrast to the hell ravaging my eye, and a jolt of terror shot through the Nexus. She was close. I sucked in another breath and did the one thing I’d never consciously choose to do.

“Rena!”

“Where is he?” I asked, trying to keep myself from shoving Corynn aside in order to investigate his room.

Something was wrong. He wasn’t supposed to be having a cluster now. I’d felt it rumbling at the edge of my consciousness a second ago, his anxiety pulsing through my veins.

“Wallace?” She cocked her head to the side. “He hopped in the shower real quick, but he’ll—”

I shook my head and tried to peer around her. “I need you to move.”

“What?”

For Pete’s sake. Didn’t they speak English in England? “Just move, Corynn!”

I charged into the room and did a quick scan. The TV was on, Wallace’s clothes were strewn everywhere, but he was nowhere to be found. I nodded my head toward the bathroom door. “That locked?”

“You going to bust in on him?” She gaped at me as if I’d grown another head. “Why?”

I bent down and rifled through his bottom desk drawer. Just as I thought, his month’s supply had been left in a chaotic array. “He needs me.”

“For what?”

If this girl wasn’t careful, she was going to find my last nerve. It was bad enough she weakened the Nexus. Now I had to deal with her mouth? “He’s having one of his headaches, okay?”

“Ah, I heard about those.”

I grabbed a case and stood up. “Yeah.”

“But how do you know he’s having one?”

Seriously? I looked up and met her gaze with a glare that could melt titanium. “How do you think?”

“Oh.” She worried her lip with her teeth. “But I thought my powers or whatever blocked that out.”

“Rena!”

“Not enough,” I snapped, making for the door. “Look, I’m sorry for being a bitch, but I don’t have time to deal with this right now.”

I jiggled the handle a few times and cursed under my breath.
Locked.

Could I pull his strength and bust this sucker down? I closed my eyes, ran a hand over the smooth wooden panel, and tried to find something—anything—that linked us together.
Wait.
Wallace didn’t have his strength during clusters. And even if he did, Corynn would block that, too…

A wounded groan came from the other side of the door, and my heart skipped a beat in panic.
Shit.
I looked around until my eyes focused on the still-open doorway to the common room.
The other entrance!

I tore past Corynn and Aiden, and then Josh and his Xbox. “Stay out here,” I demanded, jerking their bathroom door open.

“But, what are you—” Aiden began.

“Sorry.” The steam hit my face, and I plowed headlong into it, slamming the door behind me.

“Rena,” Wallace gasped.

“I’m here, baby,” I reassured him, startled by how shaky I sounded. My hands fumbled with the case as I opened it and tried to get the cartridge out.

“Shit…shit…fuh—ahh…” His voice broke in the clouds between us. I could barely make out his rocking form on the floor of the shower, naked and writhing with pain. “Get it.”

I blinked away tears and ran over. “Okay, just let me…let me…” I couldn’t keep my hands steady as I peeled the paper back and popped the lid. “Hold on.”

“Rena!”

The tortured sound of my name, ripped from the back of his throat, sent me crashing to my knees. I jerked the pen out and threw the case aside. Shit, how did this go? He’d only shown me once before.

“Here,” he panted, blindly pointing in the direction of his inner thigh. “Here.”

Ignore the fact that he’s naked, ignore the fact that he’s naked, ignore the fact that he’s…

“Okay.” I jammed the pen inside the open part of the cartridge, gave it a twist, and yanked the tube back out—locked and ready to go. “Uh…”

I got up on my knees and hovered over him, unsure of how to get in there.

An inhuman growl blurred with a moan. “Rena…”

Without giving myself a chance to second-guess my actions, I pulled his knee back and leaned into the stream. The water stung my face and plastered my hair down as I tried to see past the drops coating my lashes.
Okay, inner thigh…low…fatty part of the muscle.
I pressed the tip against the matted hair on his leg, and he hissed between breaths.

Not there?
I slid it a little lower and spared a glance at him, trying to contort my body away from his rocking.

“Now,” he gasped. “Please.”

I shoved the pen hard against his leg and pushed the button. The prick jolted his body, and I fought to keep it in against the thrashing. How long did the injection need? Five seconds? Ten? I risked another look back and waited.
Seven, one thousand…eight, one thousand…nine, one thousand…

“Okay,” he finally grunted.

I pulled back and made quick work of the needle, cramming it into the cartridge opposite of the way it’d come out. Tears were pouring down my face, but I knew he wouldn’t notice. Between his pain and the soaking I’d taken in the shower, there was no way he could tell. I leaned over to retrieve the case and forced everything back inside, careful to keep my distance.

The injection would take another two or three minutes to kick in. I remembered that much from the last time he’d had to abort in front of me—though, that one had been right on time. Afterward, he’d been tense, quiet, and struggling to find his balance. There was no way I could leave yet. Not until he’d fought his way through.

But then what?

Could I just walk away like nothing had happened? A wave of nausea turned my stomach as I stood. What if he needed me again? Corynn might’ve been able to give him things I couldn’t, but she didn’t know how to take care of him. She had the TV on, for crying out loud. She didn’t even know he was in pain.

I turned the water off, walked over to the sink, and set his injection case on the counter. Why was I still trying to force Wallace into a so-called normal life, anyway? He said himself it wasn’t my place to decide—at least, not on my own. We were happy before this. Screwed up, yes…but happy. I gave that up like it meant nothing.

I wiped the mirror off, and my reflection winced back at me. Wet hair sticking out from a half-fallen bun, pale skin flushed with worry. My eyes were so glossed and vacant, I could’ve passed for a corpse. I didn’t recognize this girl—hell, I didn’t want to. She was the confirmation of everything I feared at that moment.

I’d made a serious, irrevocable mistake.

“Sorry,” Wallace murmured in a low voice behind me. Without the hiss of running water in the background, the word echoed between us.

“Don’t apologize.” I scrubbed at my eyes with my wrist before turning around. “It makes me feel bad.”

“That the only thing”—he paused, still struggling to catch his breath as he looked up at me—“making you feel bad?”

God, I hated the Nexus.

“No.” I swallowed. “Are you ready to get up?”

He nodded, and with a grunt, tried to pull himself up on the bar.

Shit.
He was going to fall. I hurried over and hooked my arm under his, struggling to find a grip on his slick body. His humiliation poured through our bond, but there was no time to dwell on it. He needed to get up and out of that vulnerable position before he resented me any more than he already did.

“Here we go…” I pulled him up as far as I could, but it wasn’t enough. Wallace was a full-grown man and nearly twice my size; never mind the fact that he was solid muscle. I pressed against him in an attempt to find leverage and braced myself inside the shower.

Water dripped down the contours of his chest and soaked through my t-shirt. If I weren’t the one in clothes, no one would’ve been able to tell which one of us had been in the shower. “A little more,” I panted, craning to meet his eyes as I got him on his feet. “There. All set.”

His irises darkened as he studied me with a tight expression. “Thanks.”

“Don’t mention it.” I took a step back and tried to ignore the masculine, stormy scent that lingered between us.
Liquid Kryptonite…
My knees almost buckled.

The corner of his lips twitched as he propped himself up against the wall. “You need help now?”

“No,” I grumbled, turning to grab us a couple of towels. “Shut up.”

Nexus – 2, Rena – 0.

How did he manage that cocky little smirk with half of his face swollen, anyway? It wasn’t like I didn’t know he was embarrassed. It throbbed through our bond like a pulse. Why bother masking it?

I handed him a towel and tried to keep my eyes abdomen-level and above. “Do you want me to do it?”

His throat bobbed as his one-sided gaze swept over my body, and he struggled to catch his breath. “I’ll manage.”

“Okay.” I walked over to the sink and busied myself with the other towel. It wasn’t like I was going to get dry this way. My shirt was soaked. “So, do you want me to go?” I asked, trying to keep my tone casual.

He didn’t answer right away. Muffled voices came from the other side of the door, and their proximity made me nervous. Were they going to come in?

As if reading my mind, Wallace ambled over to the door—clad only in the black towel—and pushed the lock. When he turned to me, his expression revealed nothing of his intent. “No.”

“Okay,” I repeated.
What now?

Wallace crossed his arms over his chest and leaned against the door, no more than three feet away. “What do you want, Rena?”

I scrunched up my face. “You think I busted in here because I wanted something?”

He shook his head. “Not that.” Another ragged breath raised and lowered the tanned muscles in his chest. “I meant…what do you want to do about us?”

Us?
I brushed a wet strand away from my face and pulled myself up to sit on the counter. “I didn’t know there was an ‘us’ to consider anymore. What do you think?”

He leaned his head back and closed his eyes. “I think I’m tired of us putting each other through hell because these insecurities won’t die. Yours
and
mine.” Another second ticked by, another deep breath. “We were closer than that—we still are.”

My cheeks burned. “You feel it?”

“Yeah.” He cracked his eyes open and gave an almost imperceptible nod. “But I need to hear you say it.”