Authors: Sandra Sookoo
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Alice regretted the loss of his warmth. The gentle lap of the water mirrored the excited beat of her heart. She'd enjoyed having his arms around her, so much so that she'd dropped her fishing rod in her anticipation of seeing where the embrace might lead. Already things with Mark felt very different than anything she'd experienced with that loser, Frank. In Mark's arms, it seemed he'd be interested in her for more than the bedroom. She turned and sought his gaze, holding it. “Why did you pull away? You're good at giving hugs.” Plus, had it been her imagination when he'd sniffed her hair? A guy didn't do that unless he'd been assaulted by warm fuzzies for a girl, right?
Thank goodness I washed it this morning!
A red stain crept up Mark's neck. It made him seem vulnerable and gave off an “aw-shucks” attitude she found sexier than the most blatant overture. “I should be teaching you how to fish and not⦠and not⦔ While he floundered with an explanation, he gestured between them with a hand then finally let them drop to his sides. “Well, we should try casting again.”
“I think we should try the hugging thing again.” She couldn't believe her “take charge” attitude. It simply wasn't her, and usually she let the guys make the first move, but there was something about Mark she liked and wanted to experience again. She'd felt safe in his arms, and the difference in their heights had given her a sense of being delicate and feminine instead of dorky and dirty.
“Uh, let's stick to fishing. Hugging is a little too dangerous.” He pivoted, moving to gather their abandoned fishing rods. Then he retreated to where he'd left the tackle box and bait, presumably to restart the whole process.
Too dangerous for who â him or her? Alice sighed. When the small pebbles beneath her feet shifted, she stumbled back a step. Why was he uncomfortable? Doris from the salon had hinted Mark had dated around so he had experience with women. Her stomach clenched. Did it mean he didn't like her in a romantic way? Was she not cool enough or sophisticated enough for him? Did she make him uneasy?
As he pulled a worm from its container, she allowed her mind to wander. What would a kiss from him feel like? Did he know his way around a woman's mouth or was he one of those sloppy, slobbering kissers? And would she feel the same electricity that had flooded her from just the accidental cuddle? In her mind's eye, she saw them both enjoying a string of fleeting, soft kisses, followed by him holding her tighter against him before he deepened the embrace. Flutters tickled her stomach and she sighed again, this time from the sheer romance of it all. He was so handsome and tall.
A grin curved her lips while she stared at him. His hazel eyes in the sunlight alternated between green and brown, depending how the cloud cover moved. What would they look like while intense emotion gripped him? And the dark shadow of stubble clinging to his jaw sent gentle waves of heat through her insides. Had he forgotten to shave this morning? Man, her fingers itched to feel those prickly hairs. Her gaze moved higher. She liked how his black curls danced over his head when caught by the wind. Did he always wear that ball cap, and for that matter, was that the only hat he owned? Why wouldn't he ever let those curls free?
She became so wrapped up in imagining the crinkles at the corners of his eyes, and what a kiss would feel like, that when the pebbles shifted again beneath her feet, she took another stumbling step backward. A piece of a broken oar caught her heel and Alice lost her balance. She windmilled her arms but the force of falling was too great. Gravity caught hold and pulled. She fell, with a surprised squeak of, “Mark!” and then landed in the lake.
Thankfully, she didn't go all the way under since the water level wasn't deep so close to shore. Even still, icy water drenched her clothes, completely soaking through her jeans and t-shirt. By the time she'd scrambled to her feet, the breeze that had been so playful and teasing before now seemed bent on making her a living ice pop.
Why did this have to happen to me⦠in front of him?
“Are you okay?” Mark ran to the water's edge and offered a hand. “What happened?”
Hmm, how to answer that question? Even the heat of embarrassment couldn't cut through the chill her wet clothes imparted. “I guess I tripped over something.” No way would she tell him she'd been daydreaming about him and fell in.
“I'm glad you're not hurt. At least you don't look like it.” He ushered her away from the water then he skimmed his hands down her arms, her ribcage, and legs so quickly, she had no time to protest or question his motive. The impromptu examination warmed her from the roots of her hair to the tips of her toes. By the time he finished, he held her gaze and his roiled with wry humor. “Sorry. I wanted to check for broken bones.”
“Thanks. I'm fine.” A shiver wracked her shoulders. “Just cold.” Was the pat-down necessary? After all, she had climbed out of the water under her own steam. But, Mark seemed nothing except earnest and that sent another wave of warm fuzzies through her body.
“Right.” Mark's attention jogged to her chest and stuck there.
She glanced down at herself. A wave of mortification swept over her as she realized the dunk into the lake had rendered her pale yellow t-shirt nearly transparent. Ordinarily, this would have been okay since only her bra would show, but the water combined with the breeze had also led to a rather shocking display. Those two chill bumps were the focus of Mark's attention. “Sweet fancy Moses.” Alice crossed her arms over her chest to cover the embarrassing situation.
“Sorry.” Mark shook his head. “Why don't you take this?” He shimmied out of his windbreaker and handed it to her. “Didn't you bring a sweater with you?”
“Yes, but I left it in the truck.” She turned around while putting on the jacket, only facing him once she'd gotten the garment zipped. At least the jacket covered her upper body. She wished she'd thought to bring a change of clothes, since cold, wet jeans weren't exactly the most comfortable thing. “What can I say? Just another reason I deserve the daffy nickname.”
“Not daffy.” He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “Charming and funny, actually.”
Alice smiled. “You're teasing me.” She turned up the collar of his windbreaker and breathed in his scent. Hints of citrus and sage wafted into her nose and teased her brain with snatches of daydreaming fantasies.
Oh no. I'm not going down that road again.
Instead, she forced the thoughts to the back of her mind and looked into Mark's face, so close with such sensual, manly lips. She stifled a sigh. “Uh oh.”
“What?” Concern leaped into his expression. “Are you hurt?”
“No. I promise, I'm fine.”
Or I will be if I can stop thinking about a kiss.
Now that he'd taken off his windbreaker, she finally had the opportunity to see his bare arms thanks to his navy polo-style shirt. And he had some nice biceps as well as strong-looking forearms. “Wow. You're pretty toned. What does a bait guy do to stay in shape?” She rolled her eyes.
What am I, a pre-teen? Why don't I just tack on like, OMG, for good measure?
Mark didn't appear to notice her anxiety. “I play softball on the Francesville team. We're due to start practicing soon. First game is sometime mid-May.” He held up an arm and flexed his bicep, grinning when she murmured appreciation. “You should come watch sometime. It's a traveling team so there are only a few games in Francesville throughout the summer.”
“Sounds fun.” The last time she'd played softball had been in high school gym where the only way she'd ever advanced to first base was being hit with the ball.
“It is and keeps me pretty busy when I'm not at the bait shop.” He returned to where he'd dropped his fishing rod. “Also, starting Memorial Day weekend, I work a couple nights a week at the go-kart track in Tyler. Now that's where the real fun is.”
“Gotcha.” Her stomach tightened as she joined him. “Sure seems like you keep busy.” Really busy, in fact. Of course, he was a bachelor who didn't let himself slide into a serious dating scene. Would he have time to fit her in if their relationship morphed into something substantial? Doris's words echoed around her brain, and her words slipped out before she could recall them. “Must be nice not to have to work long hours or worry about rent and overhead.” She nudged her fishing rod with a toe. “I can't remember the last time I had the luxury of goofing off. Just coming out with you meant I had to make my assistant work today.”
“What does that mean?” Mark frowned. “I have a job.”
“Yeah, whenever you feel like it. Otherwise, your grandmother runs the place while the rest of us have actual bills to pay.” Why did his lifestyle suddenly bother her so much? “If we don't work, we don't earn money.”
“I earn money.”
“Right. How much can you possibly pull down from bait and tackle, Mark? Be honest, if you had to support yourself on just that, you wouldn't be able to do it.” Sweet fancy Moses, her accusatory tone sounded over-the-top cranky even to her ears.
Why does this bother me so much? Am I comparing him to Frank?
“That's true, but since I've always lived on the farm, it's never been an issue. It's just not something I've put much thought into.” He narrowed his eyes. His body tensed and the hand holding the handle of his fishing rod clenched so tight his knuckles turned white. “What are you trying to say?”
“I don't know.” She shoved her hands into the windbreaker pockets. Inside one was a bunch of loose pebbles or pellets. Animal feed maybe? She didn't want to find out. “Look.” Alice raised her gaze to his, startled to see hurt and annoyance in his expression. “Maybe I'm aggravated because it doesn't seem like you've ever had to struggle for anything. You've always been given stuff: your house, your livelihood, your lifestyle. I haven't.”
“Iâ”
She shrugged, completely ignoring him. “Every day is a challenge, never knowing if I'll make enough money to pay the rent on my store each month. Being a small business owner in a small town isn't as charming as everyone thinks.” Once she'd gotten started, she couldn't stop. “I mean, it might be nice to have the option of buying a new car instead driving around an ancient station wagon.”
“Butâ”
She forced a swallow, appalled at her behavior. But as if a dam of feelings had broken, the words kept pouring out. “Or goodness, I'd love to live on my own and not need to continually take care of my dad and have my own life â even though I love him â but I can't because being a florist-slash-gardener doesn't pay that well. Just once I'd love to be able to do something or go somewhere without my dad always questioning my motives or choices.” She pinned him with a glance she just knew was heavy on the skepticism. “You don't even have a plan, Mark.”
“Since when has being spontaneous been a crime?”
“Oh, since it makes a guy less suited to a serious relationship.”
Confusion overtook his expression. “So, because my life is different than yours, you've decided to wipe your bad mood all over me, or worse, dismiss me?”
“No. Yes. I don't know.” To her mortification, tears welled in her eyes. She wiped at them with a sleeve.
Great, because that's what a potential boyfriend wants to see on a second kinda-sorta date is a complete emotional breakdown.
Why did everything need to be so hard, and why did she always need to open her mouth and mess up what might be a good thing? But the hurt lingering in his eyes tugged at her heart. “I'm sorry. There's no reason for me to be snarky and ugly.”
“You're right. There's no reason.” He threw his fishing rod to the ground and then headed down the shore line. Thanks to his long legs, he'd covered a fair distance in no time.
Well, I deserve that.
When Mark didn't slow or even return, Alice shoved all her insecurities from her mind. It wasn't his fault she had bumps in her road. “Mark, wait.” She chased him down. He kept going. “Mark, please.”
He stopped but didn't turn around. His shoulders slumped and he hung his head as if the thought of talking with her depressed him. “What?”
“I'm sorry.” Her chest ached as she realized she genuinely felt contrite. Alice scurried around until she faced him. She put her hands on his shoulders and stared until he met her gaze. “Really, I am. I guess falling in the lake just put the period at the end of a crappy week, but still, that's no excuse for how I acted.”
“Then why did you do it?” He whipped off his ball cap then shoved a hand through his hair.
Oh man, his curls are every bit as darling as I thought!
Alice tamped the thought. Now wasn't the time to wax poetic about a guy's hair. She took a deep breath. It wasn't as if things could get any worse. She'd pretty much hit rock bottom. “I was just mad that you seem to have your life together and you're enjoying it, despite the not knowing, while I don't. I'm out of control even though I've planned a clear path. I worry all the time that I'm a failure, not only in the business world but in my personal one as well. My plan isn't going well.”
“You're not a failure.”
Alice went on barely aware he'd said anything. “Have you ever felt as if everyone you know is savvy? Or that people in your age group have way more success and they're doing stuff you only dream of doing?” She released him in order to walk the shoreline. Contemplating the gentle waves did nothing to calm her mind. “I always thought I'd be better off at this age than I am, you know? I mean, I'm not married, I don't have kids.” She heaved a sigh as another round of silly tears threatened.
Sweet fancy Moses, is this what it feels like when someone's biological clock acts up?