Claire's Prayer (7 page)

Smiling at her enthusiasm, Naomi swallowed a mouthful of food and answered. “Well, ‘impunzi’ is the Ndebele word for duiker. They’re the small, tawny-coloured antelope: beautiful, graceful and plentiful around here. More so in the old days, though. My grandfather, Sebastian, bought this land in about 1930 but it was my grandmother, Sarah, who chose the site for the homestead. As the story goes, the two of them were checking their boundary fences and stopped near the kopje for an early-evening break. My grandmother climbed to the top of the kopje and, on the exact site where the house now exists, saw a lovely green vlei with a herd of duiker frolicking and grazing.

“There and then, she made my grandfather promise to build their house on that exact spot, as close to the kopje as he could possibly get it. For years, the herd of duiker still returned in the evenings to graze near the kopje – hence the name, Impunzi.”

Claire had listened fascinated, imagining the whole scene as Naomi told it. “What an endearing story, Naomi! ‘Kopje’… I take it that that’s the magnificent outcrop of granite rocks on the side of the house?”

“Oh, yes, sorry. I always forget that some words are strange to foreigners! You’ll pick them up as we go along.” Frowning slightly, Naomi wondered aloud. “I can’t think what could be so urgent that Seth had to rush off before breakfast… Did he say anything to you, Claire?”

In a guilty voice, Claire choked out an answer. “No, he didn’t say anything to me.”

Naomi watched with interest as a rosy blush bloomed on Claire’s cheeks.
Hmm…
she wondered;
is there something brewing between those two?

That morning, Naomi gave Claire the grand tour of the main house. Commenting on the uniqueness of the décor, Claire was impressed to learn that Naomi had redecorated the whole of it. The older girl shrugged off Claire’s praising comments on the beauty and
rightness
of the interior design, and pressed on: built onto the main house, but totally separate, were the game-viewers’ quarters. Some guests, Claire learned, preferred to stay at the main house rather than in a lodge, in the big, airy rooms, each done up in a different indigenous Zimbabwean colour scheme. The quarters also boasted a comfortably-furnished lounge, where weary photographers could relax and reminisce.

At ten thirty, Joseph appeared pushing a trolley bearing tea and freshly-baked scones. They enjoyed their tea under a huge, shady tree, which Naomi informed Claire was a jacaranda.

Swallowing her last sip and looking up with a challenge in her eye, Naomi said, “Well, now you’ve seen the house. Are you ready to tackle the kopje?”

Standing up and linking her arm through Naomi’s, Claire marched them off. The paved pathways did not in any way spoil the rugged beauty of the kopje. The massive boulders were balanced on each other in a random design and rose as high as the tallest trees. With Naomi leading the way Claire followed, her eyes darting everywhere to take in the splendour of Impunzi – seeing it as Sarah and Sebastian must have seen it all those years ago.

Reaching the topmost boulder, Claire held up a hand to shield her eyes from the glare of the sun, and turned slowly around. She could see for miles and miles. To the south, dense bush and thick, natural grasslands stretched as far as the eye could see. A shimmer of water revealed a dam, some kilometres away. To the east, Claire could just make out the fenceline and the lodges. So cleverly had they been designed and situated that they fit in with the natural bush as if they had been there all along. To the north side of the kopje, within walking distance of the house, were the dairy, garage and workshop, the buildings whitewashed and shaded by trees.

“I never get tired of the view from up here,” Naomi said softly, sitting down. “It makes me look at Impunzi with fresh eyes – see the beauty that we take for granted.” She sighed deeply. “I used to come up here with my mom. We’d pack a picnic basket and spend hours just talking and being together.”

Claire didn’t respond in words, but met Naomi’s eye and took a seat next to her. Each knew that the other understood.

Pushing her arm through Claire’s and dispelling the tension, Naomi chuckled as she pointed towards the workshop. “Oh look – there’s my grumpy brother. I wonder what’s bugging him this morning?”

Claire’s heart skipped a beat as a figure strode away from the workshop. Yes, it was Seth – giving instructions, it seemed, to one of the labourers. Here he was in his natural environment, his dark hair windblown, his hands indicating what was to be done. Claire could not hear what he was saying, but she felt his presence with every fibre of her being. She was shocked at herself. How could she possibly feel so strongly after knowing Seth for only a day?

As if sensing her regard Seth turned his head, and Claire knew he saw her. They stared at each other across the distance. Then Seth slowly lifted a hand in silent acknowledgement of her presence. Without hesitating, Claire waved back to him. Just that simple communication had restored the peace between them. Watching as he walked off, Claire sighed and turned back to Naomi.

“I miss my mam, too. There are so many things I wanted to do with her – she’d love it here. I guess I’ve tried to realise that there are no guarantees in life, so I need to treasure each opportunity… you know, do the things we want to do with people we love sooner, rather than later.”

Hugging her to lighten the now-sombre mood, Naomi said, “It’s hard, but it does get easier, Claire. I’m so glad you’re here.”

Hugging her back, Claire answered honestly, “I’m so glad to be here too, Naomi. I was worried at first, about coming alone – but you’re so easy to get on with!”

Naomi stretched out lazily in the sun, reluctant to leave their quiet spot and get going with the office work, which she knew she’d been neglecting. Watching Claire, though, she saw again her guest’s introspection, and her need to be alone. Pushing herself to her feet, Naomi sighed and said, “Claire, there’s still an hour before lunch…” grimacing, she added, “and some of us have to work! So, I’ll leave you to your exploring and shut myself up in the office for a while. If you need anything that’s where I’ll be, okay?” So saying, she jogged off down the path.

Claire, unaware of Naomi’s tact, surprised herself with relief at being left alone. Leaning back against the hard, warm granite, she let her mind wander. Closing her eyes, she raised her face to the gentle caress of the sun.

Returning to the house, Seth learnt from Naomi that Claire was still on the kopje. Deciding to get her for lunch, and then take her on a tour of the lodges, Seth jogged up the path.

Concentrating on the sounds of the wind, leaves and occasional bird call, Claire did not hear him approaching. Leaning back on her arms, she was allowing the peace and serenity of Impunzi to fill her whole being. A gentle smile curved her lips as she recalled the intense feelings Seth aroused in her. If only Kacey were near to talk to – as scary as the feelings were, they made her feel so intensely alive. And they couldn’t do her any harm, could they?

Seth came upon her suddenly; her eyes were still closed, face raised to the sky. Seth’s eyes strayed over her, noting how relaxed and at peace she seemed – noting, too, the curve of her long eyelashes and the gentle smile on her lips. He felt a tightening deep in his stomach. The urge to touch her became almost too strong for him to control. Trying to block off the feelings she evoked in him, Seth moved suddenly and a loose stone clattered down, bouncing off the side of a boulder.

Startled, Claire’s eyes flew open and saw Seth silhouetted against the skyline. With the sun behind him, basking him in a golden glow, he looked extraordinarily handsome. He seemed large and vital: a man perfectly attuned to this wild place. Claire’s eyes fixed onto his arresting, rugged face, met his wide-set, dangerously gentle eyes, and felt the physical pull of his mesmerising gaze. Jerking her eyes from his, pushing herself hastily up and wondering how long he had been watching her, Claire drew a deep, calming breath.

Clearing her throat, she greeted him. “Hello, Seth.” Turning from him to take in the panorama again, she added, “The view from up here is stunning.”

Moving to stand beside her, Seth silently accepted her right to ignore the tension of that morning, and continue as normal. “Yes, it is stunning, isn’t it?”

Pointing to the north, he directed her gaze to the lodge area. “Do you see that first lodge, Claire? That’s where you’ll be staying. It’s the one nearest to the house, which you’ll find convenient for meals. Organise with Joseph what time you’d like your lunch sent across, but breakfast and dinner will be at the main house, okay? The lodges can also be self-catering, but I think this arrangement will suit you better.”

Readily agreeing, Claire followed Seth down the kopje. She sensed an aloofness in him now, but thought it best to leave things as they were. She neither understood nor knew how to handle the effect he had on her, so she chose to ignore it. Her eyes, defying her decision, clung to his muscled form, admiring the way his body moved in perfect coordination. For just a second, she allowed herself to imagine the feel of his strong hands, and the steady beat of his heart under her palm. Not paying attention to the uneven surface, Claire stubbed her toes painfully on a protruding wedge of stone. She welcomed the pain: it forced her to stop thinking about Seth.

Up in her room, washing before lunch, Claire hoped that the move to the lodge, away from Seth’s immediate presence, would help her to gain control over her wayward emotions. Peace and quiet and some good, hard work might just get him out of her mind. Lingering in the room until she heard the gong, Claire felt calmer knowing that Naomi would, with her chatter and levity, lessen the tension that was present whenever she and Seth were together.

Lunch was a deliciously mild curry and rice, served with a large accompaniment of side dishes. Complimenting Joseph again on his culinary skills, Claire laughed.

“I’m going to have to keep a better control of my appetite if you keep cooking like this!” she scolded him. “It might be a fight, but I refuse to leave Impunzi looking like an elephant!”

Laughing mightily, Joseph accepted her praise. “I’ll take you up on the challenge, Miss Claire,” he smiled.

“Good for you, Joseph,” agreed Seth. “A little temptation never hurt anyone.”

Chapter Six

Watch and pray that you may not enter into temptation.
The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.

(Mark 14:38)

Around noon the following day, Claire found herself sat uncomfortably between Naomi and Seth in the ranch’s Jeep. She tried to ignore the feel of Seth’s thigh against hers, the play of muscles every time he changed gear. Within minutes, though, her agony was over. For an instant she did not see the lodge nestled between two massive mopane trees. The thatched roof slanted steeply from the top, almost touching the ground on either side. Seth busied himself with her luggage and Naomi pointed out to her the most direct pathway to take to reach the house. She assured her that the pathway was floodlit during the night. The main house could only just be seen through the trees, and Claire knew she would enjoy the privacy the lodge offered.

The inside of the lodge was ingeniously compact. The front door led into an oblong room, which contained two armchairs, a coffee table, a round dining table and two chairs. A small breakfast nook had been strategically fitted into the far corner. With a quick glance, Claire took in a carved wooden cupboard, on which sat a kettle and some labelled containers. The kitchen area also boasted a two-plate stove and small fridge. To the left, a curtained archway led into the bedroom. A three-quarter bed, chest of drawers, compact dressing table and wardrobe were neatly arranged around the room. The bedcover and curtains were of an animal design in browns and blues –
another inspired choice of Naomi’s
, Claire smiled to herself. To the right, a door closed off the tiny bathroom, which boasted a toilet, shower and hand basin. Claire knew that in this lovely, simple setting she could get on with her life and her work.

Depositing her luggage in the room, Seth explained that he had scheduled a meeting with Tony and that he would see her later. Naomi noticed the way Claire’s eyes lingered on Seth as he drove away.

“Come on, Claire,” she said, “let’s get your stuff unpacked, and then you’ll feel more at home.”

Countering Claire’s muted protest by insisting that she did not have work to do, Naomi helped Claire settle in. Claire felt so grateful for Naomi’s friendliness, and soon they were chatting easily.

“Naomi, how long have you known Tony?” Claire asked.

Wistfulness tinged Naomi’s voice as she answered, “It seems like forever. He’s been our ranch manager since before our parents died. At the beginning he was so quiet and sad – his wife and child had recently died and his grief was almost palpable. Now… I know he still misses them, but we’ve become closer and closer. I just wish I was as sure of his feelings for me as I am of mine for him.” Naomi smiled, trying to shrug off the weight of her frank answer.

Holding Naomi’s hand briefly, Claire felt desperately inadequate to give advice on any relationship – so she did what she could, and put on the kettle to make a pot of strong tea. As Claire’s manuscripts and sketches surfaced from her cases, Naomi asked about Claire’s writing, and an hour passed pleasantly.

Soon, the lodge looked and felt more lived in. Claire’s portable typewriter and stationery were neatly laid out on the dining table, and her cosmetics and toiletries adorned the dressing table. Feeling very much at home, Claire brewed the tea and silently thanked God for Aunt Ellen, who had, in her wisdom, insisted she come to Impunzi. There was a magic to the place, a subtle essence that had seeped into her bloodstream and already captivated her heart. Claire loved Ireland, but Zimbabwe was different. The lifestyle was different, as were the people. The ambiance was different… and, she admitted, Seth was here, always hovering at the back of her mind. Pouring their tea, Claire decided that she really ought to do something about her fixation with that man.

At four o’clock, Naomi thanked Claire for the tea and company, brushing off her thanks for helping her settle in. Turning, just about to step out of the door, she looked at Claire and said sincerely, “I’m glad you’re here, Claire. I miss having female company. Since Mom died it can get very lonely here sometimes. I think I’ve been starved for another woman to talk to! Anyway, I’ll leave you to yourself for a while. If you need anything, you know where I’ll be – otherwise I’ll see you at dinner. Okay?”

Before Claire could answer, Naomi had taken off down the path. Claire was touched by her openness and honesty, and glad that she could take away some of her loneliness by being a friend. Naomi was the type of person who attracted people. Her exuberant personality broke through barriers of shyness and reserve. Claire wondered about her relationship with Tony, who had seemed so quiet and practical. She hoped he was deserving of such a lovely person.

Reflecting on her affinity with Naomi, Claire had to appreciate again the extent to which Aunt Ellen had been right to send her here: she identified totally with Naomi and Seth. Finally, she could talk to someone who really knew how terrible it was to come to terms with the loss of one’s parents. But the siblings’ differences were startling; while Naomi mentioned her parents often, Seth was closed off, and very obviously still trying to come to terms with their tragic death. Claire wondered to what Seth’s time being active in the war had exposed him. Her heart ached for him and, once again, she felt the strange, inexplicable connection between them.

Remembering her promise to write to Aunt Ellen and Kacey, Claire sat down in front of her typewriter, and her words flowed. A short while later she sealed the envelope addressed to Aunt Ellen. She’d been glad that she could honestly tell her aunt that she felt better within herself, and was glad she had come to Zimbabwe. To her aunt, she did not mention her growing awareness of Seth, or her new, confusing and unpredictable emotions. Claire had, however, poured out her heart to Kacey – they had always been totally open with each other, and Claire was desperate for advice. How seriously should she take the wayward flutterings of her heart? Surely, they weren’t going to give her any cause for moral doubt…? Praying for a speedy reply, and that her best friend would be able to give her some perspective on her confused feelings, she sealed Kacey’s letter, too.

Deciding to take a walk, Claire left the lodge and strolled slowly along the pathway. Hearing a strange chattering sound, she stopped and stood still. Looking all around, she spotted movement above her. In the branches of the trees was a troop of monkeys. Sitting down slowly against a tree stump, Claire watched them, entranced. One monkey in particular caught her attention. It was more daring than the others, chattering all the while. Inquisitive, the monkey approached her cautiously, almost within touching distance. The natural naughtiness and devil-may-care attitude of the small animal captured her imagination and snapped Claire out of her incessant rumination about Seth. Storylines and ideas started to come together in her mind, creating her next book character. The troop’s chattering suddenly rose to a crescendo and then they all disappeared, jumping, swinging from branch to branch.

Disappointed at the monkeys’ sudden departure, Claire stood and dusted off her jeans. She realised that more time had passed than she had thought. Walking back along the pathway, she admired the twilight sheen of gold that glanced off the leaves and gave everything a firey hue. Further up the path, she saw Seth standing uncertainly.

Calling out to make her whereabouts known, Claire noticed the relief that banished the frown from his brow. “Seth, I’m over here. I went for a walk and saw some monkeys!”

Seth approached her with long strides. “Listen, Claire; this is the bush, and you shouldn’t be wandering off all on your own.”

His anger was unexpected and, as far as Claire could see, unwarranted. “I understood that the lodge area is fenced off. I didn’t go far, and I knew my way,” she snapped back, not understanding his terseness.

Stepping past him, Claire continued on her way to her lodge. Following closely behind her, Seth realised that he’d overreacted. He had decided to walk her to the house for dinner and, not finding her at the lodge, he had panicked. As they reached the front door, Seth caught Claire’s arm and turned her around, halting her against the door by placing a hand either side of her head. Still defensive, Claire watched him warily, her eyes drawn like magnets to the dark hairs that curled damply above the open neck of his shirt.

“Okay, I’m sorry,” Seth said curtly. “I overreacted. When you weren’t here, I thought… I don’t know what I thought. Next time you decide to wander off, please leave a note taped to your door, so that I know where you are.”

Accepting his apology, and seeking the quickest route of escape from his disturbing nearness, Claire answered hoarsely. “It’s all right. Sorry I worried you.” Raising her eyes to meet his, she implored him softly, “Can I freshen up quickly?”

Meeting his eyes had been a mistake. Once contact was made, Claire could not look away. Time ceased to exist, and she needed to stop him from seeing right into her head. Claire was suddenly, uncomfortably aware that the intensity that she’d felt that morning must have been reciprocated in Seth. She could sense how urgently he wanted to kiss her, wanted to crush her in his arms and taste her sweetness.

Seth almost gave in to his desire – but then he saw a shadow in Claire’s eyes and realised that, although she may be attracted to him, she was also scared. Keeping a tight rein on his emotions, Seth lowered his gaze.

Dipping his head swiftly, he kissed the tip of Claire’s shiny nose and said huskily, “Sure, Claire – go and wash up. I’ll wait for you out here.”

Turning quickly, Claire opened the door and slipped inside, shutting it firmly behind her. Collapsing onto an armchair, her legs like jelly, she sat completely still, breathing deeply and willing the knot in her stomach to unwind.
Well,
she told herself miserably.
I guess that answers that question: this is definitely going to start causing me moral problems.
Questions whirled around in her head. Why did Seth have this devastating effect on her? Why was she being so weak? Although she was glad Seth had not kissed her, she couldn’t help wondering what had stopped him. Seth, she knew, didn’t feel he lived in the sight of God. Couldn’t he see how conflicted she was? If so, couldn’t he leave her be?

Claire felt so confused that she could scream. Instead, stumbling into the bedroom, she dropped to her knees beside the bed. She talked to God silently, as she would talk to a best friend. Her heavenly Father knew everything past, present and future, and surely he would give her guidance and direction. Prayer had always been an integral part of Claire’s life, and had become even more so since her parents’ passing. God had never failed her, and she knew answers would come in His own time. Slowly, peace and calmness invaded her heart. She still did not understand – but the Lord knew everything, so she decided to leave Seth and his effect on her in His capable hands.

Seth prowled along the pathway, fighting down his desires. Veering to the left, he walked past the huge mopane tree. He abhorred people who were unable to control themselves. He had witnessed more than one friend of his change totally after being entrapped by a woman. He had vowed long ago that it would never happen to him. He was a grown man of twenty-eight, and he wasn’t about to let a slip of an Irish girl turn his world upside down, and tie him in knots. If he wanted her so much, why couldn’t he just have her? What was stopping him? Walking on, Seth noticed that Claire’s bedroom curtains were open. Looking into the room, at first he did not see Claire.

Then he spotted her, crouched at the end of the bed. At first, with a shock, he thought she must be hurt, or crying. Then he noticed the serene expression on her face, and the silent movement of her lips. Seth regarded the scene before him in total amazement. She was praying. Did people still believe in prayer? Seth felt unaccountably shocked, and somehow cheated. To him, religion now seemed just a crutch that weak people used to make themselves feel better. When it came down to real life, in his experience, God was always absent and elusive. Prayer did not bring answers; it only added to the confusion and anger he already felt. Unstoppably, Seth’s memory regressed again to his parents’ funeral, and his unassisted desparation… Turning away from the disturbing scene, Seth suddenly wondered if Naomi prayed. Their parents had taken them to church for holidays, but other than that… He had no idea. Naomi did seem to handle life’s pressures way better then he did. Seeing Claire rise from her knees, Seth was tempted just to melt into the deepening shadows, feeling himself unable to face her quite yet.

Quickly, Claire splashed cold water on her face and freshened up. Opening the door with renewed calm, she stepped outside and, smiling openly at Seth, she said, “Thanks for waiting for me, Seth. I’m ready now.” Looking up, she remarked, “Oh Seth, look! Isn’t the moon bright now? And the stars look close enough to pick out of the sky!”

Muttering a response, Seth observed her questioningly. What was with this woman? The best thing he could do was keep as far away from her as possible.

When the pair arrived at the house, Naomi looked in confusion from Seth to Claire. The tension between them was obvious. Something was definitely brewing between these two. Seth’s face looked like a thundercloud, while Claire was being strangely polite. As the three of them seated themselves, Joseph came through the swing door, bearing a tray of soup. Feeling more at home with the Hendersons now, Claire quickly bowed her head and, without embarrassment, said grace.

Naomi gave Seth a look of surprise, and was astonished to see the conflict glowering under the mask of his face. She kicked her brother under the table, trying amusedly to draw his attention to Claire, who it seemed he was trying his best to ignore.

Claire said her ‘Amen’, and for Naomi the strained moment seemed to pass. Taking a spoonful of soup she questioned her brother.

“How was your day?” she opened. Someone had to start the conversation and, by the look of the other two, she guessed it would have to be her.

“Fine,” Seth grunted abruptly, returning to his intense study of his soup.
Well, so much for that
, Naomi thought;
first course finished, and two more to go. This’ll be fun.
Trying again, this time she addressed Claire. “What is your current set of children’s books about, Claire?”