Chicken Soup for the Woman's Soul (18 page)

And now, as I see you lying fast asleep, I yearn for the day to start all over again. Tomorrow, I will treat myself with as much understanding as you have shown me today, so that I can be a real mom—offering a warm smile when you awaken, a word of encouragement after school, and an animated story before bed. I will laugh when you laugh and cry when you cry. I will remind myself that you are a child, not a grownup, and I will enjoy being your mom. Your resilient spirit has touched me today, and so, I come to you in this late hour to thank you, my child, my teacher and my friend, for the gift of your love.

Diane Loomans

To My Grown-Up Son

My hands were busy through the day

I didn’t have much time to play

The little games you asked me to,

I didn’t have much time for you.

I’d wash your clothes, I’d sew and cook,

But when you’d bring your picture book

And asked me please to share your fun,

I’d say, “A little later, Son.”

I’d tuck you in all safe at night

And hear your prayers, turn out the light,

Then tiptoe softly to the door...

I wish I’d stayed a minute more.

For life is short, the years rush past...

A little boy grows up so fast.

No longer is he at your side,

His precious secrets to confide.

The picture books are put away,

There are no longer games to play,

No good-night kiss, no prayers to hear,

That all belongs to yesteryear.

My hands, once busy, now are still.

The days are long and hard to fill.

I wish I could go back and do

The little things you asked me to!

Author Unknown
Submitted by Eleanor Newbern

Running Away

On a very hectic day when my husband and I were busy going in a hundred directions, our four-and-a-half–year-old son, Justin Carl, had to be reprimanded for getting into mischief. After several attempts, my husband George finally told him to stand in the corner. He was very quiet but wasn’t too happy about it. Finally, after a few moments, he said, “I’m going to run away from home.”

My first reaction was surprise, and his words angered me. “You are?” I blurted. But as I turned to look at him, he looked like an angel, so small, so innocent, with his face so sad.

As my heart felt his pain, I remembered a moment in my own childhood when I spoke those words and how unloved and lonely I felt. He was saying so much more than just his words. He was crying from within, “Don’t you dare ignore me. Please notice me! I’m important too. Please make me feel wanted, unconditionally loved and needed.”

“Okay, Jussie, you can run away from home,” I tenderly whispered as I started picking out clothes. “Well, we’ll need pj’s, your coat...”

“Mama,” he said, “what are you doin’?”

“We’ll also need my coat and nightgown.” I packed these items into a bag and placed them by the front door. “Okay, Jussie, are you sure you want to run away from home?”

“Yeah, but where are you goin’?”

“Well, if you’re going to run away from home, then Mama’s going with you, because I would never want you to be alone. I love you too much, Justin Carl.”

We held each other while we talked. “Why do you want to come with me?”

I looked into his eyes. “Because I love you, Justin. My life would never be the same if you went away. So I want to make sure you’ll be safe. If you do go, I will go with you.”

“Can Daddy come?”

“No, Daddy has to stay home with your brothers, Erickson and Trevor, and Daddy has to work and take care of the house while we’re gone.”

“Can Freddi [the hamster] come?”

“No, Freddi has to stay here, too.”

He thought for a while and said, “Mama, can we stay home?”

“Yes, Justin, we can stay home.”

“Mama,”

“Yes, Justin?”

“I love you.”

“I love you too, honey. How about you help me make some popcorn?”

“All right.”

In that moment I knew the wondrous gift of motherhood I had been given, that the sacred responsibilities to help develop a child’s sense of security and self-esteem are nothing to be taken lightly. I realized that in my arms I held the precious gift of childhood; a beautiful piece of clay willing and wanting to be cuddled and magnificently molded into a confident adult masterpiece. I learned that as a mother I should never “run away” from the opportunity to show my children they are wanted, important, lovable and the most precious gift from God.

Lois Krueger

“I said I’m running away! Shouldn’t somebody be warming up the car?”

Reprinted with permission from Dave Carpenter.

Taking a Break

Being a working woman can be tough, but holding a job and having children is even tougher.

There’s a story about a mother with three active boys who were playing cops and robbers in the back yard after dinner one summer evening.

One of the boys “shot” his mother and yelled, “Bang, you’re dead.” She slumped to the ground and when she didn’t get up right away, a neighbor ran over to see if she had been hurt in the fall.

When the neighbor bent over, the overworked mother opened one eye and said, “Shhh. Don’t give me away. It’s the only chance I get to rest.”

The Best of Bits & Pieces

“Well, somebody better wake her up. It’s past time to go home.”

Reprinted with permission from Peggy Andy Wyatt.

Help Wanted—The Ideal Mother

The transition into motherhood can be tough on anyone.

“I just wasn’t cut out to be a good mother,” says the weary voice of my friend on the telephone. “I can’t get the baby to sleep through the night. I scream too much at my toddler when he gets into things. And my six-year-old is always whining that she doesn’t have enough to do. At least in the office I have someone to teach me the job and my evenings and weekends off.”

I understand her completely because I am also a mother. The difficulty isn’t just that first transition, either. It’s the ongoing reshaping of pieces of a personality and a way of living to become the kind of mother a child needs at each stage of his or her life.

For example, a job description for the kind of person who would be an ideal mother for a baby might read like this:

Wanted
—Easygoing, relaxed, loving type to care for infant. Should enjoy rocking, cuddling, be able to hold baby patiently for 20-minute feedings every three or four hours without fidgeting. Light sleeper, early riser. No degree necessary. Must take all shifts, seven-day week. No vacation unless can arrange to have own mother as temporary substitute. No opportunity to advance.

A year and a half later, the ideal candidate for the job of mothering the same child would match this description:

Wanted
—Athlete in top condition to safeguard tireless toddler. Needs quick reflexes, boundless energy, infinite patience. ESP helpful.
Knowledge of first aid essential. Must be able to drive, cook, phone, work despite constant distractions. Workday,15hours.Nocoffee or lunch breaks unless child naps. Would consider pediatric nurse with Olympic background.

In another 18 months, the same mother should be able to meet these qualifications:

Position Open
—Expert in early childhood education to provide stimulating, loving, creative, individualized learning environment for preschooler. Should have experience in art, music, recreation,be able to speak one foreign language.
Training in linguistics, psychology and Montessori desirable. Two hours off five days a week when nursery school is in session and child is well.

Job stability improves somewhat when a child is between 6 and 12, and the mothers who cope most easily meet these qualifications:

Good Opportunity
—For expert in recreation,
camping, Indian arts, all sports. Should be able to referee. Must be willing to be den mother, room mother, block mother. Public relations skills essential. Should be able to deal effectively with teachers, PTA officers, other parents. Knowledge of sex education, new math required. Must have no objections to mud, insect collections, pets, neighbor’s kids.

A mother changes occupations again when her child reaches 13 or 14 and must face up to new requirements:

Job Available
—For specialist in adolescent psychology, with experience in large-quantity cooking. Tolerance is chief requirement. Slight hearing loss helpful or must provide own ear plugs. Must be unflappable. Should be able to sense when presence is embarrassing to child and disappear.

After 18 years as a working mother, a woman is qualified for only one more job:

Urgently Needed
—Financier to provide money, clothes, music, wheels to collegian. No advice necessary. Position may last indefinitely. Ample time left to take income-producing work.

Like most want ads, there are some things these work descriptions leave out: (1) A mother who has more than one child must usually hold down two or more of these posts simultaneously; (2) those who handle the jobs best work themselves permanently out of a job, and (3) there are greater rewards than anyone could ever imagine.

THE FAMILY
CIRCUS

Joan Beck
Submitted by Jeanette Lisefski

“You used to WORK before you were married, didn’t you, Mommy?”

Reprinted with special permission of King Features Syndicate.

Graduation Day

A
mother is not a person to lean on but a person to make leaning unnecessary.

Dorothy Canfield Fisher

Today Cathy will be going to kindergarten. Cathy is my youngest and I am feeling nostalgic. If I had the courage to admit it, I’d say I’m feeling sad and a little scared. Why am I feeling this way? I didn’t feel sad when Renata, her older sister, went to school. Why, I was excited and rejoiced about her new freedom.

It seems like yesterday that Cathy was such a quiet, contented baby. She was always a real joy to have around. She played quietly with her stuffed animals or our family dog. She and the dog loved to hide together under the blanket tent I’d throw over the big lounge chair.