Chaste (McCullough Mountain) (22 page)

“Josh, stop. I’m not in the mood
anymore.”

He grumbled, “Are you ever?”

What did he think this was? He
couldn’t bully kiss her and suddenly change her mind.
Kelly could.

Crap. There it was again, reality,
smacking her right between the eyes. Why did she keep fooling herself? Kelly
was never going to want more than meaningless encounters and Josh was never
going to have the effect Kelly had on her. Their chemistry was pathetic and she
was basically using him because he was safe and didn’t tempt her.

There had to be a happy medium,
someone who made her body tingle and wanted long term as much as she did. The
fact of the matter was, that guy wasn’t Josh and they both seemed to know it.
They were just wasting time pretending things might change. “I think you should
go.”

“Maybe you’re gay.”

Her brows shot up, tightening her
expression as her mouth fell open. Whatever she’d expected him to say, it
certainly wasn’t that! “Excuse me? Josh, I am
not
gay.”

“You don’t seem to like men very
much.”

A puff of disbelieving laughter
slipped past her lips. That wasn’t true. She liked men, just not the right
ones. “I don’t like you very much right now. Besides, if I were gay it would
make no difference. I’d still make my partner wait until we were in a committed
relationship to be intimate.”

He sighed. “Ashlynn, this isn’t
working out the way I’d hoped.”

“You want to break up?” She was
surprised he’d said it first, but also sort of relieved.

“I’m not asking for sex, but I
need more. You won’t even let me under your shirt. Most virgins at least give
blowjobs.”

She gawked at him, completely
taken aback by his words. When she found her voice she said, “This isn’t
working out for me either. I think you should go.”

His mouth opened as if he wanted
to persuade her into changing her mind, but what was the point? As much as she
thought Josh could have been the guy for her, she was wrong.

He left shortly after and she
spent an excruciating twenty minutes searching the Internet for blowjobs. She
knew what a blowjob was, but couldn’t grasp the purpose. It seemed like a sort
of selfish act on a man’s part. It didn’t take long for her to find quite
graphic pictures that had her blushing to her roots.

Yeah, I’m never doing that.

She slammed her laptop shut.

* * * *

Roy slid a flyer over the old
kitchen table and Ashlynn glanced at the paper as she flipped a card onto the
pile. “Are you going to that?” she asked.

“That sort of event is for the
younger kids. I was thinking you might want to go.”

She discarded and jotted down
their scores. “Daddy, you know that’s not really my thing.”

“It could be.”

She shuffled. It was the Center
County annual summer celebration at the lake. Citizens would bring potluck
dishes and gather around the old picnic tables while children raced around the
park playing water games and getting their faces painted. A band would play
and, as the sun set, couples would dance under the pagoda until the firework display
started.

It was always a sweet sight,
watching couples leave hand in hand, blankets tucked under their arms and their
sweetheart pulled close to their side. The summer celebration in Center County
served as a sort of American seduction that brought lovers together as though
posing for some sort of Norman Rockwell painting on a backdrop of checkered red
and white tables and accents of fresh baked apple pies. She’d likely watch the
fireworks from the rocker on her porch like she did every year.

“We’ll see,” she said, dealing
out the next hand.

As they played cards her father
seemed reluctant to let the topic go.
 
“I think it’d be good for you to go. Put on a nice outfit and meet some
of the boys around town.”

She hid a tight smirk. No matter
what age she was her father would likely always consider her a kid and the men
her age, boys. But to her they were all men, men with no interest in a farm
girl lacking any feminine allure. No, they certainly didn’t want that bother.
They all wanted…blowjobs.

She picked up two cards from the
pile. “We’ll see.”

Her father leveled his knowing
glare on her. “Sug, you gotta get out there. I know your heart’s hurtin’ since
you and Josh called it quits.
Puttin
’ yourself out
there’s a bit scary, but I know there’s a good boy out there just dying to
dance with you.”

“I don’t dance, Daddy.”

“If I can dance, so can you.”

She grumbled and focused on her
hand.

“Met your mother at the summer
celebration.”

Ashlynn sighed, dropping her
cards to her lap. “Daddy… I don’t know if there’s a guy out there meant for me.
Josh wasn’t right and you should see the other options. It’s not pretty.” There
was no point in mentioning Kelly. God forbid she explain
why
he wasn’t
right for her.

He placed his cards on the table.
“Go for me, sug. Just this once.”

Crap. They were supposed to be
playing Crazy Eights and he had to go pull the
just for me
card. “Dad—”

“Please.”

Her lips thinned. Her father
never really asked her for anything more than a good game of cards or a home
cooked meal. The man truly had no idea how inadequate attending such an event
would leave her feeling. Yet she couldn’t tell him no. Letting out a long sigh,
she reluctantly agreed. “Okay.”

* * * *

A
week later she was dressed in her jean skirt, a white T-shirt, and trying to
blend in to the paneled wood wall of the pavilion. A country band stood on the
stage usually reserved for the big bingo wheel, and townsfolk of all ages held
their sweethearts as they slowly circled the dance floor.

“Care
to dance?”

Ashlynn
looked up from her flip-flops and met a pair of dark brown eyes. “Me?”

The
man, slightly older than herself, chuckled and nodded. The corner of his mouth
kicked up. “Sure. You’re too pretty to be holdin’ up that wall.” He held out
his hand. “I’m Evan.”

He
had medium brown hair, a rugged build, and skin that showed he’d worked
outdoors. “I’m Ashlynn.” His palm was rough as it clasped hers, but his touch
was gentle.

“Pleasure.
So how about that dance?”

She
hesitated only a moment and then nodded. Evan took her hand and led her to an
opening on the crowded floor. The song changed and she recognized the cover of
Amazed
.

Her
feet tripped slightly, but Evan was a big man and he caught her before she
embarrassed herself too much. His smile was soft like his eyes.

“Sorry.
I’m not very graceful.”

“Let
me lead, sugar, and you’ll be fine.”

Her
breath caught at the term her father had used to address her since childhood. Hearing
someone call her sugar had a calming effect. She nodded tightly and relaxed a
little more in his hold. Dancing was…nice.

Evan’s
touch was tender and he smelled pleasant. “What is it you do, Ashlynn? I
haven’t seen you before.”

“I
own the farmer’s market in town.”

“Is
that so? I’m building the windmills just outside town. My union’s from out of
Oklahoma.”

The
song picked up and he did a fancy spin. The room twirled, faces momentarily
blurring and she forgot what they were talking about.

“So
why’s it a pretty girl like yourself is all alone tonight?”

She
wished she knew. “I don’t usually come to these sort of things.”

His
hand squeezed her hip. “Well, I’m glad I got to dance with you.”

Being
that this was her first dance, she was glad too. At least she could tell her
father someone had asked. “How long will you be in Center County?”

“A
few weeks, depending on how long the job lasts.” The song changed from
Amazed
to a cover of Faith Hill’s
Breathe.
He met her eyes. “Shall we go
for an—”

A
hand settled on her shoulder. “I’m afraid I get the next one.”

Ashlynn’s
breath hitched as she turned and found Kelly there. Something hard punched into
her stomach, releasing all those butterflies she’d lost the minute he told her
goodbye. His presence still disarmed her, melted her into a pile of girlie mush
and fanciful longing. Not good.
 

His
sharp blue eyes drilled into Evan who glanced back at her, an easy smile on his
face. “I believe she’s taken.”

Kelly’s
mouth curved, his eyes creasing with challenge.
Oh, God.
She’d missed
those eyes and that sweet, wicked mouth, but nothing had changed, and she was
enjoying dancing with Evan. If Kelly danced with her she couldn’t be held
responsible for what might happen.

Others
danced around them as the men wordlessly faced off. She should say something,
but she was more interested in what Kelly would say next. Taking his eyes off
Evan, he casually pivoted and set his intense gaze on her. That fiery blue stare
pinned her, left her paralyzed, speechless, and entranced.

The
cheesy lighting glinted off the barbell in his ear as he stepped closer. Her
heart stuttered as he traced two fingers over her jaw. “Ash? Dance with me?”

“Um…”
Her breathing turned choppy. Yes, she wanted to dance with him. Everyone else
disappeared, but she hesitated, knowing she’d only be torturing herself.

Evan’s
hand tightened infinitesimally around her numb fingers, reminding her of his
presence. Her heart sped up and she couldn’t breathe.

“Hey,
Kelly,” a woman purred, draping her long arm over his shoulders and breaking
the moment. “Dance with me.”

Reality
slammed into her. It wasn’t a gentle reminder, but more along the lines of a
wrecking ball crashing through a sheet of fragile glass. She stepped back and Evan
used the distraction to spin her away.

Her
unblinking eyes watched as Kelly reluctantly took the other woman in his arms.
A sharp pinch bit down on her heart. Seeing Kelly touch another woman was not a
novel experience, yet it hurt a little bit worse every time.

Evan
twirled her across the floor slowly, putting distance between them and the
other couple. “Friend of yours?”

She
pulled her gaze away from Kelly and the brunette. “Yes.”

“More
than friends?”

She
met her partner’s gaze and saw only gentle curiosity. The truth hurt. “No.”

He
nodded, accepting her answer. As they turned her gaze kept returning to Kelly. The
ache of confusion tightened when she found him looking directly at her. His
intense scrutiny cut right through her. The brunette’s mouth moved, but Kelly
didn’t appear to be listening. They twirled and when his eyes met hers again he
mouthed, “I’m next.”

She
blinked and looked away as nerves flipped wildly in the pit of her belly. The
song ended and Evan looked at her expectantly. Kelly was there before he got a
chance to ask her for another dance. She knew there was no avoiding dancing
with him. A true glutton for punishment, she anticipated the moment he would
touch her again.

“Thanks
for the dance, Ashlynn. Maybe we can meet up for the fireworks later.”

“Thanks
for asking me—” She was pulled away before she could finish her sentence.

Kelly’s
hold was nothing like Evan’s. He held her close, possessively, and his face was
only an inch from hers as those deep blue eyes drilled into her. He held her as
if he had more of a right to hold her than anyone else. The next song was one
she recognized right away. It was a classic from back in the day.
Hungry
Eyes. How appropriate.

If
it was possible, Kelly pulled her closer. His touch was everywhere, bringing
every nerve ending to life and sending all sorts of shivers through her body.
Their legs were so close there was no way to turn. They simply stood and
swayed. “Who’s your friend?” His palm coasted possessively over her hip.

She
licked her lips. “His name’s Evan.”

“Who
is he?”

“I
don’t know, Kelly. He asked me to dance. That’s our history in a nutshell.”

His
gaze bounced between her eyes and her lips. “Are you going to watch the
fireworks with him?”

She
was probably going to watch the fireworks from her truck to avoid all the
painfully sweet images of couples snuggling up under the blanket of lit up July
sky. “I don’t think so.”

“Why?”

She
shrugged.
Because I’m pathetic and would rather be lonely than with someone
other than you.

“He
seemed interested in you.”

He
was such a contradiction. She frowned at him. “Do you want me to watch the
fireworks with him, Kelly?”

His
eyes narrowed and his hand tightened. “What do you think, Ashlynn?”