Champagne and Lemon Drops: A Blueberry Springs Chick Lit Contemporary Romance (30 page)

"I guess." Beth rubbed her ring finger and
thought of how there had been a few times in the past month where
she'd wanted to stay cozied up in bed instead of going in to work
on the weekend. "But you said you had an inkling about
woodworking?"

"I thought it was
intriguing. I didn't consider it as an actual career until a year
ago when I talked to my dad about it. And you know how that turned
out. I didn't even know if I
could
do it. And then a few months ago Mandy needed help
in the house she's renting. She ruined some of the cabinets in a
toaster fire and was afraid her landlord would make her replace all
the cabinets in the kitchen. She didn't have renter's insurance.
And then Benny needed some help with renovations. I really enjoyed
it. I thought maybe I could do it for a living."

Beth shut her eyes. Mandy. Saving Oz's day
again. That bitch. How did she always come out smelling like
roses?

Oz continued, "When you and I got together
and we started talking kids, I had these thoughts. Like: What if
this isn't the real me? What if I burn out? How can I raise kids
and be a good dad if I don't know who I am? How can I be an honest,
genuine father who lets my kids be themselves if I can't even do
that for myself? That's when I started talking to Dad about moving
down to part-time so I could explore my interests."

"And?"

He shrugged, smearing the fingerprints he'd
left on the wineglass. "I wanted to take some classes or something.
Figure out who I wanted to be."

"What did he say? Why didn't you tell me
this?"

Oz met her eye. "He said I couldn't support
us if I did that. And that he couldn't get someone who was
qualified all the way out to Blueberry Springs to fill in for me
part-time and he wasn't about to take up my slack. He told me it
was all in or all out."

"When? Why didn't you tell him to take a
hike? Why didn't you quit?" Beth asked, leaning forward.

"We'd been engaged for a month or two. And
he was right. We couldn't afford it and I couldn't give up a good
career to blindly jump into the unknown. That's when I started
teaching those computer classes at night. Just to see." He gave a
short bark of wry laughter. "You know why I tried computers?"

"Why?" she asked, fearing the answer.

"Because Dad thought I was good with
technology. And you know why I quit teaching the classes?"

Beth shook her head. She'd always figured
he'd run out of students.

"I sucked at it. I didn't
even have enough interest to find the answers when my students
asked me something I didn't know. I realized then that I had to
take more time to figure out what my real interests were. But how
could I do that? We were saving up for a place and you want..."
With his free hand he grabbed one of hers and gave it a squeeze.
"You
need
family.
I realized I was going to end up stuck or else doing to you exactly
what I'd done to Mandy. I couldn't pull you along for years when I
wasn't ready. It wasn't fair. You don't trap the ones you
love."

"Oz, I wouldn't have been trapped. And
Blueberry Springs is like family."

"I know, I know. But I couldn't not give you
what you wanted. I saw where we were heading and it wouldn't have
been good for either for us." He leaned close, his hand still
wrapped around hers. "You don't do that to the woman you love."

Beth blinked back tears, taking her hand
back. "Why didn't you say something?" Why didn't he try to change
their future? Their future together.

Oz grew quiet. Finally, in a low voice he
said, "I was going to but Dad and I had a fight. A really big one.
I caused his heart attack." Oz's shoulders shook as though he was
at the epicenter of two rifting plates. The stem broke off the
wineglass and he stared at the pieces in his hands like he couldn't
quite comprehend how they'd come apart.

"Oz..." Beth said, reaching out to place a
hand on his arm. His shoulders drooped and his eyes grew wet.

He shook his head, gently
setting the broken glass on top of the box. "I told him I wanted
out of the business. That I hated it. That I hated
him
. That he was ruining
my life."

Beth held in a gasp.

"He started having chest pains and I kept on
yelling at him thinking he was trying to shut me down like he had
so many time before. I had so much to get off my chest—I felt like
he'd kept me from figuring out who I was. There was so much I
needed for him to hear." He stopped, his voice breaking. He
continued on faster, "He told me I couldn't do it to you. I
couldn't change my life. That you'd never forgive me. That you
needed and deserved something more. I would be giving up the best
thing in my life. I was a spoiled baby if I thought I could drop my
responsibilities and obligations to others so I could go play with
wood. He told me to man up." He gave Beth a pained look. "So, of
course I had to show him."

Beth sucked in a breath, unable to let it
out. Hurt sliced through her trembling body. She needed to cover
her ears, close her eyes, hide under the table—anything to escape
this awful revelation of how their relationship had been destroyed
by someone who thought he was saving it.

"Him giving me the business? That was his
last trap. If I wasn't going to man up, he would make me. He didn't
think I'd walk away and lose it all."

"But you still had your share of the
business?"

"Six point five in the end."

"But that would hardly
amount to anything!" Beth panicked, thinking how he'd given her
what must have amounted to almost a quarter of his equity and how
he had
maybe
enough to live on for a year. A year before he would be back
looking for a job that would suck his soul because a year wasn't
enough time to build a woodworking business. He'd be stuck
again.

"It's given me enough breathing room. I know
what I want to do with my life." He gripped her hands in his and
looked her in the eye. "Thank you, Beth. I know I hurt you, but you
saved me."

"I didn't save you," Beth
scoffed bitterly.
And you broke my
heart!

"Yes, you did. And I know it's been hard,
and I'm sorry. But it's true, I couldn't have done this without
you," he said softly. He thumbed the diamond on her left hand and
slowly released her hands. He stepped away and raked his hands
through his hair. "It wasn't like I would've ever measured up for
him anyway. But the guilt. God. To give him a heart attack. To take
away his livelihood."

"It's not your fault," Beth said, her heart
lightening. He was following his dreams and was free of his father
and, maybe, like he believed, she had helped by letting him go.
Now, all she had to do was tell her heart to do the same. "He could
have gone back to work. A heart attack could've happened at any
time. At least you were with him."

Oz brushed off her words. "I know. But it
doesn't make me feel any better. I told him I hated him. What if
he'd died? What if I'd killed him? What if those had been the last
words—" His voice caught and they remained silent for a moment, the
sounds of the dance like a muffled heartbeat through the walls.

"He had you cornered, Oz. It was the only
way to escape."

"Was it though?" he asked, his eyes turning
away, forehead furrowed.

Beth nodded, ignoring the fact that he could
have told her how desperately he needed to change things. Ignoring
the fact that if he had trusted her, trusted them, that maybe
they'd still be together.

"But I sold his legacy," he said, doubt
darkening his eyes.

Beth gave Oz a soft punch in the arm.
"That's what kids are for. They're our legacy." She winked
playfully.

Oz laughed. "You're always thinking about
kids, aren't you?"

"Not always." She smiled, feeling a
closeness and kinship she'd missed. Letting him go was going to be
even harder than she'd imagined.

Chapter 17

Nash eased onto the couch beside her, his
face as pale as his old cotton tee. "What's up?"

Beth bowed her head and unclipped her
necklace. The conversation with Oz had worn her out. The whole
wedding had. She'd been hoping Nash would be asleep when she got
home so she could curl up in bed and forget the whole night.

It was embarrassing to think how she'd let
herself get sucked into the dream of her and Oz reunited when all
he'd wanted was her forgiveness and understanding. She wrapped her
arms around herself and sighed. Stupid. That's what she was.

Nash placed a blanket over her shoulders.
"Did you see Oz tonight?" he asked.

Beth nodded.

"Is that what's bothering you?"

"He asked for my forgiveness." She couldn't
bear to look Nash in the eye. She felt that by enjoying her dance
with Oz and entertaining the idea of them being together again
she'd betrayed Nash. Even though she hadn't acted upon any of it.
Good fiancées were not supposed to double book their heart.

Although, she supposed she'd gained what she
was seeking tonight: closure so she could snip the final thread
between them. But if she'd gained closure, why didn't it feel light
and easy? Why did it feel like a heartbreak hangover and as though
the whole world would never brighten or be cheery again?

And if this was closure, why did it feel
like the years she'd spent yearning after Oz?

Nash gave her a poorly disguised look of
exasperation. "Of course he asked for forgiveness. You're both
moving on. This town is so bloody small everyone has to stay on
good terms or you end up pissing off the only parts guy in town."
He gave a resigned sigh. "And then where will you be?"

Beth's body stilled. "The rumor about you
and Frankie is true?" She'd avoided asking him about the incident,
hoping so much that it had been a simple misunderstanding that had
been blown out of proportion by the rumor mongers.

Nash's face rouged with anger.

Beth sighed. When was he going to learn how
to live in a small town? "I've already heard Frankie's side,
Nash."

"He was trying to break
into my car," Nash said in a tight voice. "He said he was putting a
part on the seat for you, but it was this tiny little thing and you
weren't even shopping with me! Like you'd need
that
carried out. I can't believe he
thought he'd get away with stealing from me in broad daylight!" He
punctuated his sentences with finger jabs to the air. "Right on
Main Street. I could hear my alarm from the flower shop. What a
bloody moron. Now, if I need a part ordered in what am I going to
do? He's the only guy in town who can get the right reflectors for
my car and Lauretta keeps cracking them whenever she takes Sal out
in a wheelchair."

Really? Mr. Smarty Pants PhD hadn't figured
out the spot beside the wheelchair ramp was always vacant for a
reason? She pulled in a breath and said quietly, "Nash, I asked
Frankie to put the part in your car."

Nash shook his head furiously, causing his
face to pale. "You were at home wrapping your sister's wedding
gift."

"Yes, but I knew you were shopping across
the street from Frankie's. You weren't answering your cell so I
called Frankie and asked him to put the fuse I needed on my account
and to put it in your car. He does that kind of stuff all the
time."

Nash leaned back against the cushions,
looking spent. "He called me Nash-hole."

A laugh escaped before she could stop it.
"Aw, Nash." Dear God, that was going to stick in her head and
attempt to pop out every time they had a fight. She shook her head,
torn. It was going to take a long time before Nash fit into a town
like Blueberry Springs.

Nash grew still. "Did he ask you back?" he
asked quietly.

Beth snapped her head up to meet his eyes.
"No."

Nash nodded, looking immensely relieved. He
stood and smiled. "He's a better man than I anticipated."

She flinched. "What's going on between you
two?"

"What kind of man would interfere with his
ex moving on to a good thing?"

"What, Nash?"

"I heard rumors. I'm glad they are
unfounded."

"Rumors?" Beth's heart quickened.

"Everyone's saying you're missing out on a
good thing. That's he's the old Oz again. But I knew you wouldn't
be interested." He sat and laid a hand on her knee. He cocked a
grin. "You and your future family deserve love and stability. And
that is something I can provide, plus some. And you don't have to
wait for me to get my life together."

"There's no race or rush, Nash," she said
tightly. "We need to have a strong relationship first." She flicked
Nash's hand off her knee. "My ex is not competition."

"You need family. You've said so
yourself."

"Kids can wait until we're ready. Blueberry
Springs is family."

Nash raised an eyebrow as
if to say
some family
. "The right thing for you to do is to walk away from
him."

She stood, exasperated. "I already have! I'm
here with you!" She clenched her hands by her side. "Can't you see
you're the one I've chosen? What do you want from me?"

Nash blinked. He ran a hand through his
hair, every strand perfectly in place even though he'd spent most
of the day with his head against a pillow. "I'm sorry, Beth. I
don't know what came over me. I love you. Come here." He pulled her
into his arms. "I will guard your heart and keep it safe."

She relaxed against him, holding him tight.
This time, no matter what it took, she wouldn't let a good thing
slip away.

***

Beth studied Nash, his head bent low to
study the medical journal on the kitchen island. He was handsome,
loyal, and strong. Smart and endearing. Her heart swelled with love
and she ran a hand along the back of his shoulders, leaning over to
plant a kiss on his smooth cheek.