Caustic (9 page)

I shook my head. “I don’t want to forget about you. You’re the first person in my entire life that knows just as much about me as I do. You know all my secrets, and I can’t forget that.”

He put his hands in his pockets. “Try.” He kissed me on the cheek, and I felt the warmth flow through my body. As he pulled away, I lifted my hands to the memory of the kiss, and outlined it with my fingertips. “Bye, Skye. Drive safe.”

He turned and ambled away from me, and I didn’t say anything. There was nothing left to say. Maybe Ellis had been my escape from reality, no matter how damaged or angry he was, for a moment he was mine. But he wanted more than a moment, and I couldn’t give that to him. I got in the car and started the engine; it was time to go home.

TWENTY

SKYE

I called my mother on the way home to find out where Grandpa was being kept. I figured by now they’d moved him into hospice, and he wasn’t at a regular hospital anymore. I wanted to see him, explain to him. Tell him how I tried everything I could, but I didn’t find her. Explain to him how she didn’t want to be found, and she probably had some other life that we didn’t know about. Even though I had broken the code; I had found out about her other life. I had found Ellis. But none of that mattered now. It was just about Grandpa, his last days, and how we would spend them together. And then, at some point, I would have to go back home and find a job. Get my life back in order. Stop living in some dream world, where I didn’t have any responsibility. Living an adventure like Ellis had said. My life was not in adventure, it was reality. And that’s all it would ever be from now on.

The talk with my mom didn’t last long. She knew that I didn’t have any more information, and it wasn’t worth upsetting her about any more. It would just freak her out. Especially since I had been up there, unprotected in her eyes, even though I was safer there with Ellis than I had ever felt before.

I pulled into Shining Acres Hospice Care just after lunch. I considered stopping somewhere, a small diner for something to eat, but I just wanted to get to my grandfather. He was my priority now.

The glass sliding doors automatically opened as I approached the building. It wasn’t like any other hospital I had ever seen. It had a cheery exterior, some type of pale yellow, and, on the inside, it didn’t seem as sad as I anticipated. I mean, hospice was where people went to die, but here it seemed like everyone had accepted their fate, and were just enjoying the time they had left. Nurses pushed elderly people around in wheelchairs, and some were even walking on their own with their IVs attached to them. It seemed almost like a normal routine.

Until I saw the little girl. She was only about ten, being pushed in a wheelchair by, what I assumed was, her mother and father.  They were holding back tears as she was telling them about a picture that she had drawn of their family. I leaned against the wall as I let them pass. She smiled and waved to me like she knew who I was. Like I was some long-lost friend of hers. It broke my heart. She had a handkerchief on her head, I suppose, to cover up the baldness. Cancer was a bitch, and it took victims of any age. That wasn’t fair. My grandfather had had a wonderful long life, and this girl was robbed of hers. I wondered for a moment if she would die here, or if her parents would be able to take her home. Maybe she could swing one last time or draw with chalk outside. She deserved that. She probably deserved a lot more, but those were the small things that her parents could give to her that would make the end easier. Just like my grandfather, the small piece of mind that Leia was out there somewhere, being her own person, I hoped would bring him peace. But I couldn’t be sure.

I knocked on the door to his room before I went in, but I heard him talking to someone so I knew he was awake. I entered and saw a nurse about my age administering some type of medicine. Her scrubs had flowers on them, and her hair was tied back in a tight bun. She had a gentle way about her, she made me feel calm. She was obviously good at her job because my grandfather was actually smiling while she had a needle three inches deep in his arm.

“Skye, you’re back.” He almost smiled at me until he looked behind me, and realized I was alone. “Juliette, this is my granddaughter, Skye.”

I waved awkwardly. “Hey.”

She smiled at me warmly as she removed the needle and took off her gloves. “So nice to meet you. I’ve heard a lot about you in just the few days that your grandfather’s been with us. We really love having him here.”

“Thanks. It’s nice to meet you, too. I can see he’s in good hands.”

My grandfather smiled at her as she left us. I could tell he liked her. Made me happy to know that he had something to look forward to, even this close to the end.

“Sit, sit. Tell me all about your week.”

I sighed heavily, then pulled up the plastic chair next to his bed, and sat with him. “I tried everything. I even went to the old cabin, but there was nothing there. Leia is gone, Grandpa. And I don’t know where she is.”

“You went to the cabin?”

I nodded. “It doesn’t look like it used to.”

“How’s my garden?”

I didn’t have the heart to tell him that it look like a jungle, completely overgrown and filled with weeds, so I lied. “It still has a lot of color. And it’s healthy and growing every day. The lake looked nice, too. It’s very serene up there.”

“But, she wasn’t there?”

“No.” He continued to study me like he had more information than he was letting on. “Grandpa, do you know where Leia is?”

He turned away from me for a moment before mumbling, “She was at the cabin.”

My mouth dropped open. “You knew where she was this whole time?”

He turned back and looked at me, a fierceness in his eyes I hadn’t seen in probably a year. “I knew she had been there. If I knew where she was, why would I have sent you?”

“I don’t know! I assume because you thought it would, like, bring us together or something. Like we would suddenly get along because I was the one to bring her home.”

He didn’t say anything. I started to believe that was exactly what he wanted. But she hadn’t been where he expected.

“If you knew that she had been there, why did you send me back to Connecticut Psychiatric? Why couldn’t you have just sent me to the cabin?”

He sighed heavily, adding a little bit of a cough to the end. “I knew she had been there. She called me, and asked me where the key was a few months ago. The electric was still on in the place… Well, I knew it was in shambles, but it was a place for her to stay. And that’s all that she needed at the time. That and a little bit of money. Which I helped out with as well. It’s what I should do before I die. I should fix this mess that you two have gotten yourselves into.”

“You can’t fix this, Grandpa. It’s not something that you just put a Band-Aid on.” I was echoing Ellis’s sentiment from earlier. Mental illness wasn’t something that was easily solved, especially at Leia’s level. Particularly with the wounds that we had made; they were too deep to fix with a simple meet up. If I ever did find Leia, we would have a lot to talk about, and a lot to solve, before we could ever be friends again, let alone family.

“I can try. And you can’t blame me for wanting to. I don’t have a lot of time left, and I want to spend it with my whole family. Not just the bits and pieces that are left.”

I put his hand between my own, and allowed my head to sink down against his mattress. “If you only have a little bit of time, spend it with the people who love you.” I lifted my head and looked straight into his eyes. “Spend it with me.”

“I am.”

We sat there in silence for a few more minutes before he started to drift off to sleep. I told him that I would come back tomorrow, but I wanted to go back into the city and check on my apartment. I needed clean clothes and some essentials. Plus, it was time to start getting some applications out. It was time to move on.

TWENTY ONE

SKYE

I woke up the next morning tangled in the sheets of my own bed. It had been the first time in months that I hadn’t had nightmares. I reached for my phone to check my messages. Sloan had asked me to meet up for breakfast, but I wasn’t sure that I would have time. I was trying my best to just pack a few clean things, and head back up to my grandfather. I wanted to spend as much time with him as possible. But, just as I reached for my phone, it started ringing. I didn’t recognize the number, so I swiped the screen to answer it.

“Hello?” I asked groggily.

“Skye? It’s Ellis. I was just at the police station, and I heard that they might have some information about your sister.”

I sat up in my bed and rubbed my eyes. “Are you serious? It’s only been a day!”

“Apparently, somebody recognized her in the bar. I guess she works there or something.”

“Oh, my God. Well, should I wait for the police to call me? What do I do next?”

“I’m sure they’ll call you soon. They wanted to check out the lead first. But I knew I needed to call you right away.”

“But, wait, why were you at the police station?”

I heard him sigh on the other end of the line. “Frank got into some trouble. I went out to visit him, but he wasn’t home, so I called police looking for him. Almost had to file a missing persons report myself today. But they said he was in the drunk tank.”

“He was drinking? Bartender would serve him?”

“No, he wasn’t drinking, but they couldn’t keep him on a psych hold because he’s already been diagnosed.”

“What did he do?”

“Well, remember how they said he broke somebody’s windows on a car? Well, apparently, it didn’t have anything to do with the reflectors or the government and the stuff it usually does. It had to do with your sister. He’s the one who reported that he saw her. They figured he was making it up, but I guess somebody went to check it out. When he saw that car, Skye, he thought he saw Leia inside. I think he was trying to save her or something. I don’t really know.”

“But that’s not what the sheriff told you. He said it was one of his conspiracies, didn’t he?”

“Yeah, he did. I don’t know, Skye… something’s going on around here. Something more than what they’re telling us.”

I rubbed my face, trying to wake myself up further. I needed to get going. “I’m going to take a shower, and pack my bag for my parents. But I’ll call them and I’ll come to you instead. Should I wait for the police to call me?”

“No. I think we should do a little bit more investigating on our own. I want to know what’s really going on.”

“Okay. I’ll be on my way in just a couple hours. I’ll see you this afternoon.”

“Be careful,” was all he said before he hung up the phone.

I took a shower and packed a couple sets of fresh clothes. I called my mom once I got to the car to tell her that I was going back up to Fairmont, and that I would be back sometime in the evening. I asked her if she thought that Grandpa would miss me, but she said that he was having a rough day anyway, and it was probably best if he didn’t have a lot of visitors. I just hoped that next time I’d go to see him, I would have more information. At least something to tell him about Leia. I knew how important it was to him. I didn’t tell Mom why I was really going to Fairmont. I pretended I left my laptop at the hotel. What if we didn’t find anything? I didn’t want her to get her hopes up.

As I was driving, my phone rang; another number I didn’t recognize. I answered it, wondering if it might be the sheriff calling me from Fairmont. I was right.

“Hello, Miss Kellan? It’s Jerry, up in Fairmont. We have some information about your sister.”

I pulled over to the side of the road so I could focus. “Yes?” I asked eagerly.

“Well, we’ve been told that she works in a local bar. It’s about an hour from here, but her employers haven’t seen her in almost three weeks. We’re going to check it out this afternoon.”

“That’s great news. But I wonder why she hasn’t been to work.”

“That’s what we’re going to try to figure out, miss. Hopefully, I can call you back tonight with some further details. Until then, just sit tight. We’ll call you if anything changes.”

“Thank you. I appreciate your help.”

“Just doing my job, miss.” After he hung up, I clutched the phone in my hands, and tried to suck in deep breaths through my nose and out of my mouth like one of the therapists had taught me. I could feel a full-blown panic attack approaching. There was a chance that I would see Leia after six years today. I hadn’t put any thought into my outfit or hair, my makeup or how I looked; but should I have? I didn’t know. I wondered if she looked any different. I pulled out the picture that I had stolen from Frank’s refrigerator. She looked so happy in it. But she looked the same as she had before she went into the hospital. Same dark hair as me, same bright green eyes, and the same happy smile that I had worn my whole life. I wondered what she would look like now, how different she would be. I wondered what she would say to me when she saw me for the first time. What if she made a scene? What if the police found her and she refused to come? I had never considered what would actually happen if we found Leia. And, now, it seemed that I would be confronted with it all in such a short period of time that I hadn’t really had the chance to figure it all out. I turned the car back on, and pulled back onto the highway. As the cars passed me, I thought they could be fleeting moments. Those people in their vehicles--they were just like my memories passing me by. Just like the moments I’d had with Leia for all those years. And just like the moments I’d had without her. We would have a lot to catch up on, if she would even speak to me. But I was ready to find out. It was now or never.